Thai wife problems

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, Rc2702 said:

No one's suggesting faithfulness is based on ownership it's simply a choice and people that cheat normally burn their own heads as they feel guilty which leads to bigger issues. A lot of awful stuff happening in the world yes so no need to add to it.  I too see a lot of unfairness happening around me personally and professionally but I'm certainly not going to join them even if I am unable to beat them. 

I'm certainly not advocating cheating, but in the end people do whatever they do, even if it's the wrong thing. I like to think I'm a realist, not an idealist.

Like they say, "up to you".

[Justgrazing]

On 31/07/2017 at 7:54 AM, scorecard said:

 

Yes they do exist well outside the bar area.

 

Thai lady (previously owned her own law company) now mid 60s lives in my fairly new higher price range moo bahn has survived 3 farang official husbands in the last 20 years, all now deceased, all died suddenly and within 3 or 4 years of marriage, all were within same age to 5 years older than the lady when they met.

 

Her house is quite large, always spending money for further additions / beatification etc, has a full time gardener and 2 live-in maids. She has a BM and an expensive Honda in her garage.

 

She married number 4 about 1 year ago, he's about 80 and rather fraile.

 

She spends much time trying to convince other Thai ladies to get into various pyramid and other get rich quick schemes.

 

On the other hand female and male gold diggers exist in all countries. 

Had 3 husbands in the last 20 yrs and now she's moved onto a frail 80 yr old .!  Not exactly torn by grief is she .. 

[Justgrazing]

On 31/07/2017 at 7:48 AM, klauskunkel said:

deleted you from Facebook..., ouch! Can't repair that one.

They do derive a certain pleasure from the block and delete functions .. In much the same way a child would .. 

[Rc2702]

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

I'm certainly not advocating cheating, but in the end people do whatever they do, even if it's the wrong thing. I like to think I'm a realist, not an idealist.

Like they say, "up to you".

I too am a realist but our realities seem world's apart. 

 

Here's an answer. If my Mrs cheated on me I'd probably forgive her because I always thought it would be harder to stay with someone who did that than walk away from them. But that's just me.

 

[age4short]

Yeah I yhink

[xylophone]

1 hour ago, Rc2702 said:

Your morality compass is off here. Sure men cheat as do women but not all and it's kind of defeatist to accept this is the norm and not hold your head high and keep your temptations (if any) in check.

 

IMO that is much easier to do here in this country as:

Unfortunately 90% of the guys I know here who are married or in long term relationships cheat and that's why I find it difficult to understand why they get married in the first place.

 

Here it is much easier to stray as there are so many available women who just want the cash from a short term dalliance. On the other hand there are a few skilfull ones who can play the "longer term" game in the hope of bigger returns.

 

Seems to me that the guys who come here often meet the women whom they deserve..............

[Rc2702]

Just now, xylophone said:

Unfortunately 90% of the guys I know here who are married or in long term relationships cheat and that's why I find it difficult to understand why they get married in the first place.

 

Here it is much easier to stray as there are so many available women who just want the cash from a short term dalliance. On the other hand there are a few skilfull ones who can play the "longer term" game in the hope of bigger returns.

 

Seems to me that the guys who come here often meet the women whom they deserve..............

I don't regard that as straying.

That's simply a transaction and you know that from the off so why is there any temptation in that. 

[xylophone]

6 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

I don't regard that as straying.

That's simply a transaction and you know that from the off so why is there any temptation in that. 

Not sure that we are on the same page with this as the OP stated that (in so many words) he was upset because she cheated on him.

Lots of posts then about women cheating, being unreliable, being bar girls, whatever............... and a few about the men.

 

My point was that IMO there are just as many men here who cheat on their partners/wives, and most of them I know do it frequently with various women, so if that is the case, why did they get married in the first place. Someone is going to get hurt and as the saying goes, "it's going to end in tears".

 

Whether it's simply a transaction or not, these guys do it, so there is obviously temptation, but that's not my point, which is, why get married in the first place or in a long-term relationship when all you really want is to be able to pick and choose women as and when you please – – others have described it as "renting". 

 

And back onto the OP post, why on earth would he want to know all about her past apart from perhaps where she was born, schooling and the good things that she wanted to tell him. Sounded a bit like a control freak to me, but then............

[Been there done that]

30 minutes ago, xylophone said:

Unfortunately 90% of the guys I know here who are married or in long term relationships cheat and that's why I find it difficult to understand why they get married in the first place.

 

Here it is much easier to stray as there are so many available women who just want the cash from a short term dalliance. On the other hand there are a few skilfull ones who can play the "longer term" game in the hope of bigger returns.

 

Seems to me that the guys who come here often meet the women whom they deserve..............

They stray because the emotional commitment they long for does not materialize. Except for the few sexaddicts ofcourse.

[Rc2702]

Just now, xylophone said:

Not sure that we are on the same page with this as the OP stated that (in so many words) he was upset because she cheated on him.

Lots of posts then about women cheating, being unreliable, being bar girls, whatever............... and a few about the men.

 

My point was that IMO there are just as many men here who cheat on their partners/wives, and most of them I know do it frequently with various women, so if that is the case, why did they get married in the first place. Someone is going to get hurt and as the saying goes, "it's going to end in tears".

 

Whether it's simply a transaction or not, these guys do it, so there is obviously temptation, but that's not my point, which is, why get married in the first place or in a long-term relationship when all you really want is to be able to pick and choose women as and when you please – – others have described it as "renting". 

 

And back onto the OP post, why on earth would he want to know all about her past apart from perhaps where she was born, schooling and the good things that she wanted to tell him. Sounded a bit like a control freak to me, but then............

I think were on the same page morally but this is nothing to do with cheating this is a guy who has made judgements based on the times he has witnessed his messages being delivered and making his own assumptions specifically from that and the admission she went to meet someone which could have been anyone, could have been her mom. 

 

The guys a complete control freak and I think the lady in question has done both him and her a huge favour in cutting this short.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

I too am a realist but our realities seem world's apart. 

 

Here's an answer. If my Mrs cheated on me I'd probably forgive her because I always thought it would be harder to stay with someone who did that than walk away from them. But that's just me.

 

I told my wife that if she cheated, not to tell me, but to use a condom because if I got the clap she wouldn't be happy.

She'd been married before, so no blushing virgin when we met, and I know she was always getting hit on, as she usually told me about it after.

As I was away for many months at a time I assumed she did, rather than fool myself she didn't.

I have no illusions about what people are capable of, and no one really knows what another person is like.

Everyone lies.

 

[Unity1]

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[bwpage3]

"So I was her 2nd farang."

 

That should have been a red flag to run away.

[bwpage3]

On 8/26/2017 at 0:06 AM, Unity1 said:

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Using a dodgy free website maker (Godaddy) 

[Rhys]

Move on

[Hamuraii]

Guess this thread is as good as any other, I guess I'll have to Necromancer this thread.

 

Took gf abroad this weekend, we had a great time, nothing but laughter and fun in HCMC, Sunday, the last day, all fun and laughter, suddenly she become distant, cold, non-communicative, did not want to be near me, robotic like, impersonal, zoned into her own mind, I could see this 'state' come over her, I went oh <deleted>, what do I do now, asked her if she's, if I did something wrong, got a fast reply, no.

 

She stone walled me in the taxi to airport, at the airport, she stood in the other line, handed her tickets in, and disappeared somewhere after the weapons gate, leaving the bags with me, I had asked her before, if I did or said something wrong, two times in total that day, not to pester her with questions she prob cant give me an answer to, shes 26yo in the restaurant, quick replay was 'no' while she gazed down at her plate and looking at her phone, check the time, I quickly asked for the check, dinner took 35min in total, drove back to the flat, to return bike and collect out bags, shower, get ready for the flight back home.

 

Said to my self, I'll prob only make it worse if I insist to ask again, its just gonna make it worse, let her have her space, I guess here is where I <deleted> up, not asking her about her feelings, on a side note, her English skills is quite good, she was not talking or making any eye contact, so another awkward silence sitting at the lounge at hotel, for 10 min until the taxi arrived.

 

When we landed in Thailand. 

 

After return flight, I just bailed out and left on my own, returning her the same treatment, of abandoning me, she texted me, asked to take a taxi back, but really after the treatment, I said to my self, I'm not going to take part in this 'drama-crypto-world-mind-games' opted not to answer the message, it was getting well passed midnight, I just wanted to sleep, felt like shit, quite burned out, after vacation ending in a bit of a cluster <deleted> to say the least.

 

next day, get a cryptic text about, she was in a bad state, she wanted me to talk to her and ask how she was feeling, in an SMS, I do try and reply 20 min later, to find, she's deleted and blocked me from all social media and blocked my number.

 

Had treated her with the utmost respect, she had done this again before, but not this dramatic, saw her going suddenly cold on me.

 

only way was to send her and email, asking if she had calmed down, if she ever does replay to the email that is.

 

Sorry in a bit of a state, just throwing text out here in a ramble.

 

 

 

  

[oldhippy]

Sad to read your story.

Your gf's behaviour is very similar to my wife's.

Most of the time a very nice person, and then suddenly hysteria, without any apparent cause.

And when that episode is over, refusal to talk about it.

You must decide for yourself whether the many good days are worth the few bad days.

 

 

[Hamuraii]

Thanks for the reply m8,

 

She's sending me text now, wanting to see me, she's a uni girl, that has a good job, her mind maybe works to fast and does a 360 in her skull some times ?

 

I'm seeing her falling into her dark world maybe I don't know, <deleted> if you do, <deleted> if you don't, the dance.

 

Seems to be only two times a month this happens.

 

I'll keep you posted, she seems to want to talk about it, but then again, maybe not.

 

I'm playing a poker game, against a brick wall, trying to see if its bluffing or hang on its a brick wall.

 

 

[oldhippy]

good luck.....

PS. You mentioned bluffing (manipulating?). Possible, but it could also be something that she does not do on purpose.

 

[Hamuraii]

'And you know how it all started?  There we're a situation I behaved that. But you didn't try to understand'

 

in the end, it was my fault and now she's happy that I'm ok.

 

case closed.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

She probably got a text her thai bf left her.

[xylophone]

10 hours ago, Hamuraii said:

'And you know how it all started?  There we're a situation I behaved that. But you didn't try to understand'

 

in the end, it was my fault and now she's happy that I'm ok.

 

case closed.

Don't understand this post so can you please  explain what it means!! Keen to know why she exhibited this behaviour because my ex did the same but it would last for many days (even weeks).........that's a major reason we parted company.

[sanemax]

12 hours ago, Hamuraii said:

Guess this thread is as good as any other, I guess I'll have to Necromancer this thread.

 

Took gf abroad this weekend,

Had treated her with the utmost respect,.............................

Have been in similar situations , briefly , we were on a day out to the Zoo and at the Zoo I walked in front of a Chinese woman having her photo taken by her friend , as its rude to just walk in front , I stopped for two seconds and photo bombed their photo , all good natured , smiles all round .

    Continued with the day out at the Zoo , nice pleasant day and went for a feed on the way home.

Then She suddenly disappeared , I couldnt find her anywhere , spent an hour looking and then went back to her place , she was sat at home surrounded by bottles of Leo and when I asked what happened "You had your photo taken with another woman" .

   After numerous similar situations happened , I came to the conclusion that it was her irrationality, insecurity , jealousy and the fact that she watches Thai soaps , where disagreements and confrontations are the norm .

   Its also a way to control you , you become so concerned about upsetting them , you walk around obeying her every order and doing everything possible not to upset them .

   She ended up deleting me and blocking me on social media as well .

I didnt bother going back

[jak2002003]

Wow.  Reading through this thread I can't believe what people put up with.  

 

If your GF is acting up so badly... time and time again.... best to get shut and get a new one. Don't think you can change them.  That is their personality.  Leopards can't change their spots.  

 

If I was on a date and my partner got into a childish sulk like that it would be the end of it straight away.  Life is too short!  

 

Also OP, spending 28 hours on facebook a week... get a life!  

 

 

[Hamuraii]

4 hours ago, xylophone said:

Don't understand this post so can you please  explain what it means!! Keen to know why she exhibited this behaviour because my ex did the same but it would last for many days (even weeks).........that's a major reason we parted company.

What I did get from her that she it truly sorry for her mood, 

 

This is her anger coping system, when she get angry about something, she gets cold, distant and silent, not streaming and physical/violent.

 

Your then are to confront her, pull her out of her shell, communicate what her anger issue is about, the body language and demeanour, shows the opposite. 

 

 

[MaeJoMTB]

On 7/28/2017 at 8:21 PM, Superme said:

We were just the best mates. We had the same interest, like the music, traveling and even sex preferences. We had the same plans for a future.

Next time, let them tell you their interests, music, and plans first.

Rather than letting them copy ......... Thais love to copy what YOU want.

 

PS. sending loads of messages, too needy, never ever works ......... you send 1 message, and if they don't reply, never contact them again.

[MaeJoMTB]

17 hours ago, Hamuraii said:

only way was to send her and email, asking if she had calmed down, if she ever does replay to the email that is.

Never do needy!

Never ask what's wrong!

 

Walk away, let them run after you, if they don't there are plenty more to have a go with.

[oldhippy]

1 hour ago, Hamuraii said:

What I did get from her that she it truly sorry for her mood, 

 

This is her anger coping system, when she get angry about something, she gets cold, distant and silent, not streaming and physical/violent.

 

Your then are to confront her, pull her out of her shell, communicate what her anger issue is about, the body language and demeanour, shows the opposite. 

 

 

Sounds very much like my wife.

My wife is 62 - so don't hope that you will ever change that emotional disorder.

[MaeJoMTB]

4 hours ago, jak2002003 said:

Wow.  Reading through this thread I can't believe what people put up with.  

 

If I was on a date and my partner got into a childish sulk like that it would be the end of it straight away.  Life is too short!  

Yep, the white world is full of needy losers.

They are why women are like this, if it didn't get women the attention and drama they want, they wouldn't do it.

[Hamuraii]

1 minute ago, oldhippy said:

Sounds very much like my wife.

My wife is 62 - so don't hope that you will ever change that emotional disorder.

 

Do you walk away, let her simmer down, for a while, ever managed to breach that shell with out setting the house on fire ?

 

 

 

 

3 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Never do needy!

Never ask what's wrong!

 

Walk away, let them run after you, if they don't there are plenty more to have a go with.

 

Did, that she's chasing me now.