15 minutes ago, Zyxel said:

Do you mean the plant that is about to fall down?

Stephan asked his girlfriend to have tattoos of a conch shells inked on both her inner thighs. That way he could press each ear on the conch shells to hear and smell the ocean at the same time

What does a woman’s panties and nail polish have in common? The both come off with alcohol.

Man: “Can I buy you a drink?... Lady: “Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.” Man: “Does it make them swell?” Lady: “No it makes them spread.”

Wife: “I have a bag of old clothing I’d like to donate.” Husband: “Why not throw them in the trash, it’s much easier. Wife: But there are poor starving women who could really use them.” Husband: ”Anyone who fits into your clothes is not starving. Husband’s right eye is slowly recovering.

A man was in court here recently for allegedly indecent offences. He stood up near the Clerk of court as charges were being read. “You have been charged for exposing yourself in public, how do you plead? “. The man replied whilst slightly coughing and clearing his throat the same time “Hhhh not guilty my lord”. “You have also been charged with interfering with a lady in a queue, how do you plead?” The man replied again in the same manner “Hhhh not guilty my lord”. “You have further been charged with making sexual advances to a young lady in a public place, how do you plead?” The man again replied in the same manner with slight cough “Hhhh not guilty my lord”. At this stage the Clerk who was standing near the man and observed his slightly coughing nature asked him quietly “excuse me asking you but I noticed your throat clearing and wondered if you would like to suck a Fisherman’s Friend?” The man said “Eff off, I’m In enough trouble as it is”

A girl is at a bar, and there are three guys next to her jabbering and carrying on and really getting on her nerves. The worst part was, they all had stutters.

So she says to them, "Listen, I came here for a little peace of mind, and I just can't stand listening to you guys any more. Here's a deal: Tell me where you're from. If you can say it without stuttering, I'll blow you. But if you can't, you have to leave. Deal?"

"D-D-Deal!" say the guys.

So she says to the first guy, \`Where are you from?"

The guy concentrates, screws up his face and says, "T-T-Tampa!"

"One down," says the girl. "Adios. Next?"

The second guys concentrates and concentrates and finally says, "OrlanD-D-D-o!"

"Two down," says the girl, and turns to the third guy. "How about you?"

The guys says, "Miami."

Well, she's a girl of her word. She gets on her knees and starts blowing him.

Just as the guy is coming, he says, "B-B-B-Beach!"

A stuttering man sits in a train

He is in a cabin with two other guys. He asks the one guy: "h-h-hey d-d-d-do you know wha-a-at t-t-time it is?"
The other guy looks at him, doesn't reply. So the stuttering guy repeats his question: "h-h-hey d-d-d-do you know wha-a-at t-t-time it is?"
Still nothing. So the stuttering guy angrily gets off at the next stop. The third guy in the cabin asks:" hey man, why didn't you just tell him the time?"
The other guy replies: "D-d-do you thi-i-ink i wa-a-ant to g-g-get b-b-beaten up?"

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
 

I was staring at her boobs and she told me to press one.

 

So I did...and woke up on the floor.

Note for above post - HaHa reaction placed just because I can!!!!

 

43 minutes ago, Crossy said:

Note for above post - HaHa reaction placed just because I can!!!!

 

Same for your post!

Just now, BritManToo said:

Same for your post!

 

We could go on forever ...

 

Good for traffic but not for other members ???? 

16 hours ago, Crossy said:

 

We could go on forever ...

 

Good for traffic but not for other members ???? 

OK. But now we cannot see who reacted. ????