I've just been down to the betting shop and put £100 on Armageddon occurring some time this year.

I figured if I lose my money it won't be the end of the world.

Chinese guy goes to bank for a loan to start up a new restaurant.
He tells bank manager it's going to be an all you can eat Chinese Buffet and only costs £2.00,

The loan officer asks how can you make money if you're only charging '£2.00'?

Chinese guy says 'that's easy, I only give them 1 chopstick'!

4 minutes ago, oxo1947 said:

Took me a moment...

36 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

Took me a moment...

Taking me more moments....:)

5 minutes ago, carlyai said:

Taking me more moments....:)

 

I take it Football isn't much of a feature in your life.

 

 

55 minutes ago, oxo1947 said:

I take it Football isn't much of a feature in your life.

Your either I guess. Nunez wasn't even born 43 years ago 🙂

1 hour ago, oxo1947 said:

 

I take it Football isn't much of a feature in your life.

 

 

You mean Rugby League? 🙂

1 hour ago, carlyai said:

Taking me more moments....:)

The joke is that (apparently) had the shooter still been Darwin, Lennon would still be live. 

1 hour ago, Yellowtail said:

The joke is that (apparently) had the shooter still been Darwin, Lennon would still be live. 

I always give a 'thumbs up' if I don't understand and a 'laugh' for the rest.

This "worst joke ever" forum has really horrible jokes (love it :)) but keeps all the Richard Craniems away. 

Great regular posters and no fighting like the other forums.

Maybe because we've sunk as low as we can go? 🙂

I think it was Yellowtail who posted a joke, which I considered a really worst joke. To which he/she/them replied...

'Does that mean I win'. 555555

 

A group of Royal Marines were out a yomp when they saw a girl about to jump off the Tamar Bridge. So they stopped to see if they could help rescue her.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 33, stops with his buddies, walks through a group of gawkers, past the Policeman who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby...whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

 

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"

 

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his marine buddies, the onlookers, and even the Policeman, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, darling. You could be famous if you came on a date with me.

"So why are you committing suicide?"

 

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."