Been a day of mixed emotions for me. First my ex wife got run over by a bus, and later on I lost my job as a bus driver.

I keep hearing the term LGBTQ+. But when asking what the letters etc stand for, I can never get a straight answer.'

An older guy goes in for a haircut.. The rather pretty young hairdresser gets him seated in the chair and spreads the chair cloth over him and secures it snugly around his neck. She starts to trim his hair.. she notices some movement under the chair cloth.. the movement gets rather vigorous.. She stops.. calls him a dirty old man.. gives him a good wack with the hair dryer and runs off crying.. The salon manager comes over to see what the problem is...

 

It turns out he was polishing his sunglasses under the cloth... 

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbours' male dog while the neighbours were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the vet said,
"Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"It just did for me," he replied.

Things are dire in the UK.  People have been off work for so long due to the virus that they've started developing Scouse accents.

Trolling meme reported and removed.  

 

saw car driven by a sheep...

 

 

20 minutes ago, tifino said:

saw car driven by a sheep...

 

 

I laughed harder with the Please don't Unfriend me - note at the end, than with the joke itself which was pretty lame/lamb.