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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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 I changed all my passwords to "incorrect", 
so that whenever I get it wrong, it will tell me, 
"Your password is incorrect."

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Dig up and give him a used tampon, then ask him which period it came from.
 

How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
 

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On 7/10/2021 at 4:53 AM, fangless said:

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Great! The longest one I know is Reichseisenbahnhinunherschiebergehilfe……????????????

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56 minutes ago, damascase said:

Great! The longest one I know is Reichseisenbahnhinunherschiebergehilfe……????????????

Ask "Rooster59" He might know a longer one!

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3 minutes ago, roo860 said:

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Butt! I think it is better if it wasn't wrong!

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I took my ailing Iguana to the vet recently, and she prescribed him Viagra. 
Apparently, it’s designed to treat a reptile dysfunction.
 

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 Whatever you do, always give 100%. 
Unless you're donating blood.

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What do boobs and toy train sets have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
 

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Meet the Bigger Family 

Q. A man whose name was Bigger, got married. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mrs. Bigger?

A. Mr. Bigger, because he had always been Bigger.
 

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Q. They had a little boy, and they called him John. Now who was the bigger, Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, or John?

A. John Bigger, because he was a little bigger.
 

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Q. All three of them went to a wedding on Saturday, and had their picture taken. Mr. Bigger was standing next to Mrs. Bigger, and son John was next to his mother. Which was the biggest then?


A. Mrs. Bigger, because she was by father bigger.
 

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Q. When Mr. Bigger died, Mrs. Bigger married another Mr. Bigger. Who was the bigger then, Mrs. Bigger or the new Mr. Bigger?

A. Mrs. Bigger, because she was twice bigger.
 

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Q. When the second Mr. Bigger died, they buried him by the old mill stream. Who was the biggest then?

A. Mr. Bigger, by a dam site.
 

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Q. But as the years went by, Mrs. Bigger's love for Mr. Bigger never died. Who was the bigger then?

A. Neither. As Mrs. Bigger said, "This thing is bigger than both of us."
 

A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation...

Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree!

Waiter: That's so great! Congratulations!

I actually have a Master's degree in English Literature myself.

Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa?

-----------------

My daughter is having serious problems with English in her school.

No other kid speaks it.

 

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I was doing some home renovations and, when I knocked through my bedroom wall,

I found a fully furnished hidden room.

Then I remembered that I live in a block of flats

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So many 'if onlys' coming out of Sunday final...

'if only' the ref had shown that Italian a red instead of a yellow.

'if only' Grealish was brought on sooner.

'if only' the penalty shootout had been a spear chucking contest.

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Black Lives Matter campaigners calling for a week of looting and rioting.

After shocking TV footage of WHITE goalposts not moving for 2 black men.

----------------------

Doctor.."I'm afraid it's bad news and more bad news."

Patient.."what's the bad news?"

Doctor.."you've lost half of both legs."

Patient.."could be worse, and what's the more bad news?"

Doctor.."It's the top half."

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'Butcher' Ebrahim Raisi who ordered thousands killed

in mass executions and tortured pregnant women

wins Iranian presidential election.

 

Finally, a moderate.

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