Do we turn into our dads?

[ivor bigun]

I was made to think about this by something that happened over xmas,our son bought me a 62 inch curved smart tv ,,to replace our 42 inch flat screen ,well long and short ,i rarely watch live tv just download stuff especially older series ,and most have different formats and would not play on this tv ,so after fideling all day trying to get stuff to work gave up and told him to have the tv himself (he is getting me something else and can use it ) ,

but its made me think when i was a cool dude living the dream in London in the 60s and 70s i used to come home and my dad just could not get over the way i dressed ,talked and my "cool" persona????,and i thought he was so square that he was not "with it" much as i loved him ,now i think i have turned into him ,and a little set in my ways ,i wonder in  time will my sons  son ( if he has one)think the same ?

do we just turn into our dads? have you had this happen to you?

[canuckamuck]

I am a lot like my dad for sure, but he's the better man.

[wgdanson]

I was a pro musician from 1970 until 2008, played all over the world. My two sons, 31 & 27 (I know silly names ! ) are both working in Dubai as singers/guitarists/ drummers. So yes, kids hopefully turn into their Dads, and their Mum too.

[geronimo]

The best thing my dad gave was a great work ethic. It has stood me in good stead all my life. 

[Lacessit]

The most valuable thing my father taught me was to avoid debt like the plague. That has served me very well.

He was emotionally crippled by an inheritance dispute, and working in a job he hated for 40 years. I was fortunate in loving the career I had.

My son is nothing like me, very much an alternate lifestyle. He has overcome adversity in his childhood. He's probably a better person than I am.

Difficult to say. In the case of my three generations, the answer is no.

[Nakmuay887]

I didn't have much in the way of family growing up. 

 

I learned to emulate my first boxing coach who to this day is the best man I have ever known and definitely the reason why I am still alive, healthy and not in prison today.

 

If I develop into half the man he is I would call it a success. 

[brokenbone]

my dad was a bully, i hope i dont resemble him in any way,

but to ensure its not going to happen i wont have a son

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, ivor bigun said:

do we just turn into our dads? have you had this happen to you?

Hmmmm. Had to think about that.

Dad abandoned me

Me never had kids to abandon

 

Dad, never finished anything he started with me

Me My life is littered with the detrius of unfinished projects

 

Dad, never wrote to me from the other side of the world

Me I rarely write to anyone

 

Dad liked to park his car in the shade

Me likewise

 

Dad should never have got married and had children

Me should never have got married. Didn't want children

 

Dad liked the Goons and movies

Me I like the Goons and movies

 

Dad liked classical music

Me never listen to classical music

 

Dad very intelligent man but little common sense

Me not very intelligent but have common sense

 

Dad liked a beer

Me hate beer. Never touched the stuff.

 

Dad liked sailing.

Me I didn't like sailing enough to do it

 

Dad ended up alone

Me same

 

I used to look like my mother, then when I was middle aged I started to look like him. I sometimes say the same things he used to say.

In a way, as I got older I became more like him.

I suppose I fear dying like him. It was very sad. Alone in a foreign land far from his family and all his friends died before him.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, brokenbone said:

my dad was a bully, i hope i dont resemble him in any way,

but to ensure its not going to happen i wont have a son

The one good thing I remember about my father was that he never hit me, but I was scared of him. I never felt that he wanted me as his son. He certainly never ever exhibited anything resembling "love". I didn't even consider the house we lived in as my "home".

When he left to go to the other side of the world I didn't even miss him. In a way, he'd left me years before, when he sent me to boarding school.

[thaibeachlovers]

12 hours ago, Lacessit said:

The most valuable thing my father taught me was to avoid debt like the plague. That has served me very well.

He was emotionally crippled by an inheritance dispute, and working in a job he hated for 40 years. I was fortunate in loving the career I had.

My son is nothing like me, very much an alternate lifestyle. He has overcome adversity in his childhood. He's probably a better person than I am.

Difficult to say. In the case of my three generations, the answer is no.

My father wanted me to work in a bank. That would have killed me.

My life was anything but routine, first in the military all over the place and traveled the world, then nursing and traveled the world.

I did get into terrible credit card debt, but worked my way out of it and cut it up. Never since.

[robblok]

My dad is a great man I am as smart as he is but he is a million times better in technical things. 

 

I hope i will become more and more as him, he is my example in many ways. He is old now but still tries to keep up with technologie. Did not become an old inflexible guy set in his ways as i often see. 

 

Sure I am different in some ways but in general i want to be like him.

[robblok]

Ivor, if you watch downloaded stuff why not get an android box it will allow you to keep the big TV and play all the formats that you want. Usually easier and better as direct on the TV.

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, geronimo said:

The best thing my dad gave was a great work ethic. It has stood me in good stead all my life. 

LOL. My father once gave me a model sailing boat that sank because it was too heavy. He also gave me a bicycle that did work. I think he sold it later.

I used to do holiday jobs then he tried to make me pay rent, so I stopped working and rode my bike with my friends. I think he was trying to instill some sort of ethic, but as he never talked to me and I was a kid, I never understand what it was.

If he gave me anything good it was making me never want to have children. My sister doesn't have any either.

I had a work ethic after I left school, but it certainly wasn't due to him.

[Lacessit]

25 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

My father wanted me to work in a bank. That would have killed me.

My life was anything but routine, first in the military all over the place and traveled the world, then nursing and traveled the world.

I did get into terrible credit card debt, but worked my way out of it and cut it up. Never since.

The 40 years of a job my father hated was in a bank.

Both me and my son were bullied in school, because we were different. My answer was to excel scholastically, which probably made it worse. His answer was to achieve a third dan black belt in karate. He still teaches self-defense to women. Also teaches first aid, and builds desktop computers for serious gamers.

The only time I was in debt was when I bought a house in Melbourne while I was working in Port Hedland back in 1966- 1972. First iron ore boom. Paid the mortgage off in 18 months.

My son has never been in debt. I gave him a good start in life. I was his rock then, and he is my rock now.

[ivor bigun]

1 hour ago, robblok said:

Ivor, if you watch downloaded stuff why not get an android box it will allow you to keep the big TV and play all the formats that you want. Usually easier and better as direct on the TV.

To late ,my son has taken the tv to his girlfriends house where they live during the week,they actually needed a new tv ,to be honest it was just to big for the wife and i ,she rarely watches tv anyway ,prefers reading . he is going to buy me something i really need ,later on ,when i can think of something i want????

mind you i did thank him loads for getting such a nice and expensive gift .

Edited December 27, 2019 by ivor bigun

[allanos]

I don't recall that my father ever told me he loved me. Perhaps he didn't love me, although I did love him.  He passed away long ago, and I shall never know if he did or didn't love me.

 

I have 4 grown-up kids.  I make a habit of telling them at every opportunity that I love them. When I pass one day, they will never be in any doubt about their dad's love.

[justin case]

my "father" loved to f. around and I found my ex-wife did exactly the same ...

 

my "father" was an <deleted> but nothing compared to my thai ex-wife TOXIC NARCISSIST and lousy "mother" (she gave birth and not a <deleted> afterwards)

[NoshowJones]

21 hours ago, Lacessit said:

The most valuable thing my father taught me was to avoid debt like the plague. That has served me very well.

He was emotionally crippled by an inheritance dispute, and working in a job he hated for 40 years. I was fortunate in loving the career I had.

My son is nothing like me, very much an alternate lifestyle. He has overcome adversity in his childhood. He's probably a better person than I am.

Difficult to say. In the case of my three generations, the answer is no.

I never had any kids, I was never the settling down kind. I was mostly a professional musician mostly in American country music, unlike WGDanson I never traveled the world, and only played in Scotland, England, Wales, and of course Nashville Tennessee. I would never know if any children of mine would have had my talents.

[Jane Dough]

In my family there is genuine fear at being compared to the old boy. Wearing old clothes or grubby shorts and rummaging around in a garden is most likely to result in this criticism. 

 

I find myself resembling him in terms of frugality and in some eating habits such as enjoying radishes with bread and butter. Heaven forbid I should have strawberries with bread and butter though. 

 

He was a devout atheist. I followed in that noble tradition.

 

Rooster

[emptypockets]

10 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

I never had any kids, I was never the settling down kind. I was mostly a professional musician mostly in American country music, unlike WGDanson I never traveled the world, and only played in Scotland, England, Wales, and of course Nashville Tennessee. I would never know if any children of mine would have had my talents.

Was your dad a musician?

[emptypockets]

My Dad instilled in me a sense of humour, quite dark at times admittedly, but it has worked for me over the past 63 years. Learn to laugh at yourself and the rest of life is pretty easy.

[sfokevin]

I’m getting my dads jowls... And I find it more and more difficult to keep all my passwords straight without writing them down... 

[NoshowJones]

1 hour ago, emptypockets said:

Was your dad a musician?

He could not have been, I never took after him at all. he always obeyed everybodys laws and expected me to, we never got on.

[khunPer]

Do we turn into our dads?

I wouldn't mind, especially the longevity...????

[faraday]

10 minutes ago, khunPer said:

Do we turn into our dads?

I wouldn't mind, especially the longevity...????

Yup, my Dad popped his clogs at 89, after 2 strokes.

 

 

[GreasyFingers]

I am really starting to look like him down to the bum fluff on the top of my head. Never thought I would end up with a similar attitude but one of his sayings that always bugged me when young:

"A place for everything and everything in its place". I now find myself saying it almost daily living with Thais when things are never where I left them.

[tifino]

For many there's the comfort in knowing you're going to follow daddy's path all the way to the grave... 

[ivor bigun]

13 hours ago, faraday said:

Yup, my Dad popped his clogs at 89, after 2 strokes.

 

 

My dad was very ill when i was young and was not expected to live ,at some drinks do with friends a surgeon was there who spoke to him and said he was over in the UK to do an experimental operation ,would my dad like to be a test subject ,he lived another 50 years afterwards and died at 85, i was ill and had an operation at 40 told it would last about 8 yrs ,that was 34 yrs ago ,so dad if your watching ,i turned into you .

[jimn]

I know what you are trying to get at OP but the thread title is a little misleading. There is nothing wrong with turning into your Dad at all. I loved my Dad, he was and still is my hero in life having fought and lived through the war as a rear gunner in the RAF. However just because you are old fashioned in many of your ways doesn't mean you are turning into your Dad. I am 63. I embrase new technology, new music and new TV shows, I dont dwell on the past and say "it was better 50 years ago. So to conclude, maybe you are not turning into your Dad, but you personally are not able to move with the times. Just maybe?

[VocalNeal]

My father used to play golf and read 3-4 books a week. So, no I am not turning into my father.

 

He also would not be bothered to post on TV.