Why do Thais recommend divorced women with children to farang?

[welovesundaysatspace]

8 hours ago, KhaoYai said:

Hard to find a Thai girl over 16 that doesn't have a kid. Thailand must be the single mother capital of the world.  There seem to be less the higher you move up the social scale but a lot of those girls won't entertain a 'dirty farang'.

Would you entertain a dirty Thai (or Farang) woman? 
 

Thais and Farangs are really not that different in this context: No one wants to date someone of (much) lower value unless he’s really desperate. 
 

I know a lot of Thai women “up the social scale”. I am not talking about middle class women who are paying off a second hand Honda Civic and a studio room in an LPN condo out in Bang Na. None of them has kids. Only one I know has been married before and she’s still an absolute catch. 

Many of them are single because they just cannot find a proper guy in their league. The common theme I hear is that there just aren’t enough proper men after you remove all the gays, ladyboys, men of lower status, and cheating and abusive guys from the dating pool. Some actually turn to tomboys. I have at least two of such relationships in my circle of friends now. 

Only a few of those women would categorically rule out dating a western man; in fact, quite some of them have been or are dating western men. What those Western men have in common is that they are of equal or similar status. You can be offended by that, but then again I’m asking whether you would date someone who’s much lower than your own status? 
 

On the other hand, I was also surprised to hear how many of these successful young women like to fool around themselves. It seems to be common for many to keep their options open and always look for something better when they’re below 30 or so, which may include having several guys or kik at the same time. Sadly, some will then end up with nothing in the end, because they’ve played too long and let too many options pass. 

 

 

[welovesundaysatspace]

8 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Allow me to observe there are quite a few rural village girls who are just as good-looking as any Hi-So.

I wasn’t aware “Hi-So” means good looking. I thought it commonly referring to the social status, so you can perfectly have someone who’s considered “hi-so” but not good looking and vice versa. 
 

 

[cucme]

Simple fact is that many women have a kid or 2 with a guy and then the problems start, either alcohol or gambling or other women and some beating up maybe, maybe all together.

They get divored and you know, these women then know, what they don't want again. They value the true and honest love of a guy, yes a farang who takes care of her and her kids.

This is a quite common story.

I have met many without $$ in their eyes. Of course, if you live a good life, why should she not be attracted by it, even when you're not looking perfect.

 

 

[welovesundaysatspace]

4 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Personally, I couldn't think of any worse choice than a HiSo - vain spoilt airheads.

How many have you met personally in order to come to such conclusion? I actually work with quite some kids from big families, including the very big ones. I haven’t dated any of them, but they’re far from being “vain spoilt airheads”. Most have been incredibly polite, hard-working, polished, well educated, smart and eager to learn. The biggest issue is that they don’t work because of the money; they drive their own or one of daddy’s S class when they come to work. They work because they want to learn and gain experience and get a brand name into their CV, so you need to give them interesting stuff to work on otherwise they move on. On the other hand, that’s an issue even with kids who aren’t part of the 1%. The market for very well-educated Thais is small, so they all have their options. 

[scorecard]

3 hours ago, CharlieH said:

In my observation, its not that the Thai male doesnt want the female, he just will not accept nor take care of another mans children. The child (ren) ends up with the grandparents permanently.

 

In plenty of cases that means he wants the lady to devote herself to his wants and only him and at whatever time he wants 'attention'.  

[Mavideol]

10 hours ago, ZhangYimou said:

My farang friend is handsome, young and has a good job. He is single.

Oh wonderful, I have a Thai friend from school who is now divorced and has a child. We should introduce them! 

Has anyone else noticed this pattern? Is it because Thai people think that farang are more accepting of women with children or is it just that they think that farangs are all a bunch of  losers and below Thais on the social scale?

I only notice this behavior in Thailand.  

they know foreigners don't mind 2nd hand goods... 555

[Kiujunn]

9 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Allow me to observe there are quite a few rural village girls who are just as good-looking as any Hi-So. My GF's daughter is an absolute stunner.

Is she whitening her skin? (doesn't matter if she is white already)

Does she have an artificial nose? (better even fake boobs)

Wearing expensive clothes? 

Does she show off expensive perfume from Paris in her handbag? (no matter if she smells like...)

Do her parents have money? 

If one answer is "no" she isn't beautiful in the eyes of Thais. 

[CharlieH]

Flame post removed.

 

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.
 

[Lacessit]

8 minutes ago, Kiujunn said:

Is she whitening her skin? (doesn't matter if she is white already)

Does she have an artificial nose? (better even fake boobs)

Wearing expensive clothes? 

Does she show off expensive perfume from Paris in her handbag? (no matter if she smells like...)

Do her parents have money? 

If one answer is "no" she isn't beautiful in the eyes of Thais. 

She's a bit whiter than my GF, she doesn't use whiteners, the answer to all the others is no. And if Thais don't think she is beautiful, more fool them. If I was 30 years younger and unattached, I'd snap her up in a heartbeat, she's a sweetie.

[Lacessit]

42 minutes ago, welovesundaysatspace said:

How many have you met personally in order to come to such conclusion? I actually work with quite some kids from big families, including the very big ones. I haven’t dated any of them, but they’re far from being “vain spoilt airheads”. Most have been incredibly polite, hard-working, polished, well educated, smart and eager to learn. The biggest issue is that they don’t work because of the money; they drive their own or one of daddy’s S class when they come to work. They work because they want to learn and gain experience and get a brand name into their CV, so you need to give them interesting stuff to work on otherwise they move on. On the other hand, that’s an issue even with kids who aren’t part of the 1%. The market for very well-educated Thais is small, so they all have their options. 

I've met two or three at the golf club where I used to play.They snubbed my GF, presumably because she was older and and darker-skinned, and attached to a farang. They may have wondered why I never played golf with them again, but it's more likely the thought never entered their empty heads. Ignorant bitches.

[Ventenio]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

i've  never encountered any of these problems with my Thai step-daughter.

She moved in age 11 speaking no  English, and is now in her final term at university age 22 and almost NES.

She has been nothing but lovely for the entire time she lived with me.

 seems like you guys bonded like father and daughter and a daughter does seem easier.

 

I've had three friends get a divorce and lose everything, but their step-son was older than 11.  it is GOOD that you shared a positive experience.

 

OK, no more positive talk on TVF!!!!!  

[fakser]

11 hours ago, ZhangYimou said:

My farang friend is handsome, young and has a good job. He is single.

Oh wonderful, I have a Thai friend from school who is now divorced and has a child. We should introduce them! 

Has anyone else noticed this pattern? Is it because Thai people think that farang are more accepting of women with children or is it just that they think that farangs are all a bunch of  losers and below Thais on the social scale?

I only notice this behavior in Thailand.  

The reason is simple. A single Thai woman with child(ren) needs financial support. What better support than a wealthy farang?

[globalspark]

As i am not judge or jury this topic is a  can on worms. Some Farangs think they are smart and marry and stay in Thailand  so their wives  do not get influenced with  others from the country  where they go.  Others  come to say Australia  and  get on with their lives. 

 From  my experience it does not matter how you go about it  and as long as you have money and prepared to give to the family  you will  have no problems.

 When the money becomes tight  cracks will appear  and you will be a Cheap Charlie  or have no heart.

 Enough have been written about the subject and   from my observation Thai ladies only love their family and money. Their  family does not include the Western  husband.

 Yep waiting for it what would I know ,  mine is different.

 i always tell people the story would you give your  western GF/s parents  $40000 to marry her?  Answer is always No so why do  Farangs do just that in Thailand.

[new2here]

this question is really hard as each person has their own values, issues and situations which all play a role.

 

Its my opinion only that for a single-mother there IS some measure of “security” when it comes to a prospective partner.. after all, as the mother, for the most part, the onus for child care/expenses will fall to them.. sure, they may get help from extended family- but the first person will the the mother.

So to that end, i can see why a friend of a single-parent might place increased value on the financial/stability measure when suggesting a prospective partner..

 

I’ve also found that for a large percentage of females who are both university graduates AND fully/gainfully employed in the formal employment sector (ie not “at-home” or other largely off-book work) they aren’t really seeking to have children right now... rather they seem to be more focused on their own financial stability, that of their parents/family etc, BEFORE they consider having children of their own... again, everyone’s different, but I myself, have met a sizable percentage of women in this socio-economic group who’d LIKE children, but haven chosen not to do so until they establish a better financial position.

 

To a good degree, i think for many  women, the issue of “will this person be financially viable...?” will factor into their thinking to varying degrees... 

 

... and again, how things work and the thinking/values process for women/families who live much more “rurally” and as such may find they have fewer economic and educational options, may place economic higher.. or they may just accept “it is what it is” and be less selective.

 

My partner, her parents were initially quite keen to learn of my work, income and income stability, etc... and i don’t blame them as my partner is keen to have children in the very near future.

[DrPhibes]

6 hours ago, ChipButty said:

One mans meat is another mans poison, you mean?

Don't you mean on man's mate is another man's person?

[Moneyhonour]

8 hours ago, Kelsall said:

Because the one who does the recommending gets a commission, one way or another.

So, Thai Friendly will be a Multi Million Company by now

[fusion58]

7 hours ago, mr mr said:

 

can we all just agree that westen men and thai men generally see beauty in a much different light ? i don't see it  as ignorance i simply see it as preference. beauty in  the eye of the beholder and all that.  

 

I don't know - I think I've "gone native," as it were, insofar as I've developed a preference for the same girls who are coveted by hi-so Thai men, i.e., the lighter-skinned Sino-Thai-looking girls.

 

Note: This change didn't occur overnight: When I was a newb, and before I'd gotten "the lay of the land" (no pun intended) I simply didn't notice the regional/ethnic differences among the native female population.

 

 

[Stevemercer]

One thing that constantly amazes me about single mums in Thailand is how little having children interferes with their social lives. Of course, their extended family takes a lot of the burden, but they seem to have plenty of time.

[khunPer]

14 hours ago, ZhangYimou said:

Has anyone else noticed this pattern? Is it because Thai people think that farang are more accepting of women with children or is it just that they think that farangs are all a bunch of  losers and below Thais on the social scale?

I only notice this behavior in Thailand.  

Yes, it's "social security". The Thai-father of the child don't pay child support money, and Thai men are in general not particularly interested in single moms and supporting somebody else's child...????

[Mops59]

Thai women don't get child support, previous husband refuse to pay. Depending on family for support. So falang is trustworthy. They pay. ????????????????

[xylophone]

8 hours ago, Lacessit said:

My GF's grand-daughter stays with us, she's a sweet kid and grandma keeps her on the straight and narrow. I'm contributing towards her education expenses.

I chased after my girlfriend here because she was attractive and although she couldn't speak much English she seemed bright enough, and was keen to learn English, this especially as she had had a university education (accounting), so we got on well.

 

She told me she had a daughter by a previous "marriage" so we went up to see her in the village near Phitsanulok and she was living with grandma and, in my opinion, was not being well cared for, because grandma was old and let the young girl run around as she wanted.

 

Anyway I suggested to the girlfriend that we bought her back to Patong and that she lived with us, which turned out to be a great idea.

 

She came to live with us when she was about seven and now she is 20 years old and very attractive, well mannered and loving daughter, whom I have taken care of since that time, even though her mother and I have parted company (but still on good terms).

 

So meeting a girl with a child, has been a bonus for me as I now have a "daughter" who is in constant touch with me as I am putting her through university, and who loves me to bits, as I do her.

Edited December 27, 2020 by xylophone

[473geo]

18 minutes ago, Mops59 said:

Thai women don't get child support, previous husband refuse to pay. Depending on family for support. So falang is trustworthy. They pay. ????????????????

Or not as the case may be, then sit in the bars glorifying 'rentals', contemplating why money is so important to Thai people who don't have it, and too important to be shared by Farang who claim to have it!!

[m Stender]

There is a world in difference between girls from Bangkok and other bigger cities from up country girls. I am married to a very beautiful and carrying Esan girl (22 years now), and I am farther in spe to 2 young girls from their mother, now aged 22 and 26. I met my wife on a business trip 22 years ago, and at that time I could not speak much Thai, but my then wife was very good in English due to her education (the best girls school in Udonthani) thus we could talk. We fall in love, and she got her divorce 1 year after, and we got married officially short after. She has told me that her former housebound was treating her badly, he was playing cards and left her only very little money for the children and he had a mia noi, and he was not carrying about the kids. Farangs do not have mia nois, and they are treating their wife well, and they do not care if he not is the biologicals farther to her kids, and he is not playing cards. Everything a girl of good education wants. I love my wife and the girls, the oldest has now her own family, and the youngest is becoming a teacher  from the university in Buriram in 2 years time, and I can assure you out there, no man can wish a better wife than I have, she is sweet and lovely, and she has a very good family here in Esan, Now when I talk Thai and also write a little I have NEVER regretted that I married an Esan girl, and frankly I do not understand when other farangs are looking down at those girls. Yes, I know there are many poor girls and single mothers up here, but she is not alone to blame, also the lazy card playing, mia noi womanizer Thai man. To all farang men out there, remember there is a BIG difference between city girls and up country girls, you can not judge all equal, and happy New Year to all of you. 

[LukKrueng]

13 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

Because no thai man wants them.

Bs. I personally know of a mother of 4 kids who did a runner on her Thai husband to go with a Thai lover. She took all 4 kids with her

[digger70]

Why do Thais recommend divorced women with children to farang? 

 

Why? Because the Thai Men Don't Want them.   ????

[KhaoYai]

10 hours ago, Lacessit said:

You did say hard to find a Thai girl over 16 that doesn't have a kid, so I think I made a reasonable inference from that.

Then you 'infer' wrong.

[mr mr]

33 minutes ago, LukKrueng said:

14 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

Because no thai man wants them.

Bs. I personally know of a mother of 4 kids who did a runner on her Thai husband to go with a Thai lover. She took all 4 kids with her

 

generally speaking and not case specific. waaaaay more single moms are not as lucky as that lady. in thai society weather or not you agree single moms are not viewed in a good light when it comes to dating and/or marriage.

 

 

[fceligoj]

Probably the most relevant answer if you can cut through the BS, SECURITY, for her and her children (plus probably her parents too.)  Sometimes we call it their own ATM!

[ChrisKC]

14 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

Because no thai man wants them.

This is nearly true - it is never ALL. But many women/girls in that situation don't want another Thai man!

[Kiujunn]

1 hour ago, m Stender said:

Farangs do not have mia nois

Have you ever met a farang?

I have, and trust me, they do have mia nois, in farangland as well as in Thailand. 

 

Just as an example,  read up on the kiwi EVA pilot with wife and family in Japan and a mia noi 30 years his junior in Taiwan who just infected his mia noi with Covid19 and then tried to hide her.

Or my dear friend Dr xxx from farangia. After his death, his daughter was surprised to find out she had a half-sister.

 

Every TG "knows" that farangs have wife and kids in farangland. They are happy to ignore it as long as they get money.