4 hours ago, bendejo said:

Only women without hanging belly fat would be permitted to wear bare midriff clothing.

 

Truth can be stranger than fiction :-

 

Senator Andrea Guglieri the mayor of Diano Marina, a small family resort west of Genoa, and his council drew up a plan in 2000 to ban fat and ugly women from walking around in two-piece costumes.

 

Traffic wardens were to be entrusted with the task of stopping and examining women to ensure that they passed eight out of ten requirements, ranging from the size of their bust to the firmness of their buttocks. New applicants flooded the predominantly male traffic warden force, and sexual harassment suits were expected to follow.

 

Signor Guglieri also said there was no reason why bare-torsoed men sporting tight or daringly cut trunks should not be made to pass a similar set of requirements.

 

A local newspaper cast aspersions on Signore Guglieri's own looks - and called for all ugly mayors to be sacked!

 

One can't imagine such a row taking place in Weston-Super-Mare or Bournemouth (well actually, it could happen in Bournemouth).

I would commission Donald Trump to put together a plan to round up all the key oligarchs in the world and place them on a survival island and turn it into a global reality TV show.... Seems like a good start anyway. Then I would release the Kraken on the Island... Lol. Why not, we're all living in a circus like clown world anyway right!? 

I'd make the Dollar/Baht exchange rate better

Well what a question, but like many I don't think I would want that responsibility. Although the question was "what would you do" I know one thing I wouldn't do and that would be not open a private 6 star fetish entertainment establishment in some foreign country !!  My wife would whip me ????

5 minutes ago, Freeduhdum said:

I would commission Donald Trump to put together a plan to round up all the key oligarchs in the world and place them on a survival island and turn it into a global reality TV show.... Seems like a good start anyway. Why not, we're all living in a circus like clown world anyway right!? Lol. 

After I took over from former king @FreeduhdumI'd order an airstrike on Trump Island

5 minutes ago, tonray said:

After I took over from former king @FreeduhdumI'd order an airstrike on Trump Island

Nah... come on. That's way to anticlimactic.

1 minute ago, Freeduhdum said:

Nah... come on. That's way to anticlimactic.

Ok...I'd write "You're Fired" on the bombs...ha ha ha ha

1 minute ago, tonray said:

Ok...I'd write "You're Fired" on the bombs...ha ha ha ha

Ha ha!! Nice. Good one. 

If gramma had four wheels,

would she be a truck.?

8 hours ago, tomgreen said:

People with extreme and radical views would be banished to special rehabilitation camps housed on isolated remote islands.

You realize, of course, that the world of which you dream, in which you control what people eat, believe, own, do with their time, and say, is both extreme and radical?

 

3 hours ago, Jingthing said:

You lost me at the golf.

It seems the consensus is that if this happened to most any random person, it would be utopia for the leader, and dystopia for everyone else. I would never pass physics!

I would help you.

(Most of this is US-centric. Sorry, but I'm in charge, so I fix what in my opinion needs fixing.)

 

All QAnons, Lunar-tics ("fake moon landing"), 9-11 Truthers, and "Stolen Election" types would be required to repeat their entire primary education, beginning with kindergarten. They would also be required to wear Lord Fauntleroy uniforms and carry their books in a Hello Kitty backpack.

 

Religions would be allowed, but none would be tax exempt. Since at most there can only be one "Absolute Truth", society would recognize that most, likely ALL, faiths were started by either liars or lunatics. All TV Televangelists would be in a 99% tax bracket, unless they own a Gulfstream or other private jet, in which case they would be in a 150% tax bracket. (If they're that good at raising money from fools, let them work down the National Debt with their tax payments).

 

The entertainment network that goes by the name "Fox News" would not be banned, but their Talking Heads would be required, after each statement they make, to play a few bars of In-a-Gadda-da-Vita on a kazoo.

 

General tax rates would be based on one's percent of body fat. Those with 10% or less body fat would be tax exempt, and anything above 10% would be taxed on a sliding scale. Obese people obviously would pay a 'hefty' premium, perhaps encouraging them to take better care of themselves. They can thank me when they stop waddling instead of walking. Granted being healthier would likely slash US GDP by 15% or so (based on what is spent now handling vices like smoking and overeating), but maybe we'd make up for it in sales of sporting goods.

 

A pack of cigarettes would cost $652.12, and buyers would have to pay in pennies only (no credit cards). Perhaps that would prompt those who overcame initial nausea just to gain an addiction that could kill them to drop the habit.

 

Those who think wearing a mask during a pandemic violates their 'freedom' would be deported to North Korea and be required to wear sweatshirts carrying the words "I am a Snowflake".

 

Everything would be allowed, but it would come with a cost reflecting its threat to society.

2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I would help you.

Physics is torture.  May as well pull out my fingernails. But statistics is worse. 

3 hours ago, tonray said:

I'd make the Dollar/Baht exchange rate better

Not thinking big are we. 

I'd get a nice sailing boat and cruise around, couple of young ladies for crew.

I'm not all that big on solving world problems or telling other people what to do.

 

This Bavaria 46 is big enough.

I would round up all corrupt politicians, corrupt business people, corrupt charity workers etc in the world (quite a large crowd!!), - and shoot them.....

 

That would remove about 95% of the human population....

On second thought I would ask the aliens if they can make me king of NANA for a start.

I would go there every night and do my best to behave like a king - and obviously I expect to be treated like a king.

Let someone else take care of the rest of the world.

13 hours ago, Jingthing said:

Open borders for Thailand. Native Thais however would be required to do address reports in person every other day and if their bank balance went under the required level to be deported. 

I am continually puzzled as to why you live here. 

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

On second thought I would ask the aliens if they can make me king of NANA for a start.

I would go there every night and do my best to behave like a king - and obviously I expect to be treated like a king.

Let someone else take care of the rest of the world.

If I were king of the world, I certainly would go to meet Thai prostitutes. 

Destroy CCP in China and make them Pay for Wuhan Virus 

Give myself a 10" cock......I'm sick of this monster.

Probably stop reading <deleted> like this on TVF. Yea, I know, I'm grumpy today !

 

I would go and see a psychiatrist and get checked.

If he finds me OK I would voluntarily check-in to a nuthouse.

Free healthcare, 3 meals a day, somebody makes your bed every day, and lots of people alike. We would have a house full of royals.

 

11 minutes ago, malt25 said:

Probably stop reading <deleted> like this on TVF. Yea, I know, I'm grumpy today !

 

Wrong time of the month?

12 hours ago, sirineou said:

 So that when that one country is taken over by a despot like Hitler, Stalin. Pol Pot etc. The whole world is taken over without anyone to oppose them and it is game over. 

No. I said I would ban countries, so there would be no leaders of them. I am the king and would rule it all with the same rules for the entire planet. 

 

54 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

If I were king of the world, I certainly would go to meet Thai prostitutes. 

Lets call them Thai girls who like to party.

I like to be the king between them. ???? 

Agreed.

As long as my stash doesn’t devalue...ie. Still 1 beer to the £.

Already is in a lot of places, just no use to some people even if it was until they were 51.

Agreed.

Zoos?

Agreed until the new millennials tear it down in 2121.

I don’t like too many tats, so ok for 1^st offence.

I’d ban all weekdays.

Most already are other than in name.

No way am I increasing my hours 10 fold. Sorry, can’t agree.

Mars would be better.

Now you’ve scared the poo out of most TV contributors on their thoughts of living here in Thailand.

I would sterilize each and every homo sapiens to return the planet to the other species. Then I'd invite everyone to party like there's no tomorrow, for the time that remains.

Begs the question "in what language did the alien speak to you when he made you 'King of the World'"? How could you possibly understand him?

 

It's the same conundrum I have with Adam of the Old Testament, Moses of the burning bush fame, Mohammed and his visitations, and those of Joseph Smith of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and his golden tablets.

 

In what language did the unearthly beings involved in all of these instances communicate?