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divorce advice required from Uk guy, stuck with a nice house over there, yup in her name - dammmm


reddo1973

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So guys and girls.....

 

oh surprise surpise, I want a divorce - and we have 3 kids in the Uk and live in the Uk and we're all kinda stuck. Kids are now 19, 17 and 12. We have a house in Phuket, rented out and gives a nice rental. We rent in the Uk so no assets over there.  Our tenants dont want to move out either and housing market is an all time low. I am ok with paying a settlement, 50% no probs but I don't want to get fleeced and I think the house will take a few years to sell. My questions is, should I lease the house back to me, immediately, and then make an agreement wife wife, that we can split the cash, when it is sold. By leasing the house back to me, I feel I have some control over the asset in her name. I'd really like some kind of closure enabling me to move on as the kids have grown, I can see the end in sight!

 

These Thai women are super weird, I think she'd be happy living in the souless marriage for the rest of her life, as her parents did, so long as I picked up the bills and well, I am looking to get my things in order.

 

Help internet help !!!

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What do you envisage a lease will achieve ? A lease wont make any difference to you getting 50% of the house. A lease would insure you have ongoing right to live in the house until its sold etc but if your wife is happy to sign a lease (she is the landlord), she is agreeing to you living in the house anyway, making a lease unnecessary.

If your wife agrees that you get 50% of the house sale then a lease or even divorce doesn't make any difference, if she doesn't agree then a lease wont change that.

A long term, registered on the title deeds, lease will make the property harder to sell.

 

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2 hours ago, reddo1973 said:

These Thai women are super weird, I think she'd be happy living in the souless marriage for the rest of her life, as her parents did, so long as I picked up the bills and well, I am looking to get my things in order.

 

You need to get your head on straight.

 

If your wanting out, which it appears you do, be grateful you have a wife who is happy to stick around and keep the peace, more so to keep the family unit together for the kids sake, so my advice there is for you to put aside your anger, ego or whatever it is that is up your a$$, your freedom will come, but at a cost.

 

As Peter42 said above, a lease will only make the property harder to sell, and if you antagonise her and she decides to stick it to you, all she has to do is take out a loan on the house which you have stipulated is in her name and then forfeit the payments, you can then watch the bank sell it and kick you out, leases are not worth the paper they are written on when it comes to the bank completing its sale and whatever is left, if any, will go to her, so think of something else.

 

I remember with my ex back in the old country, we sat down like adults, were honest, departed our ways, and then sold the house with the agreed 50/50 split, she was entitled to 75% as we have a daughter, adult now.

 

I could provide you with a cunning plan, but I would think as she has been with you for all of those years she would be entitled to at least 50% for raising the kids and putting up.

 

To end this sad chapter, have friends back in the old country who don't even sleep in the same rooms, one in the granny flat in the back room, they remain civil, divorce would cost them millions and some their parents businesses that they built up for them when they were kids, now having taken over, so do your math and wish you all the best, but there is nothing better than being human and fair, after all you did love her and have 3 children with her, she sounds like a good women, others would have fleeced you ages ago, so might be time for you to reconsider or work out a fair plan that might get you some money from the sale, when and if.

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As you have a house in Thailand, no house in the UK, and a 12 year old child.

The UK family court will most likely award her 100% of the Phuket home.

Best to wait it out, at least until the youngest kid is age 19.

 

What's the hurry?

No sex in Brit marriages is normal.

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1 hour ago, Peterw42 said:

A lease would insure you have ongoing right to live in the house until its sold etc

I don't think so Peter-- under Thai law-its not legally binding to make a contract (lease or any other) with your wife .

Although people on here think they are safe--Their even in doubt with a Userfruct, if made inside the marriage.

 

Thai marriage laws recognize the special relationship between husband and wife in section 1469 of the Civil and Commercial Code and gives both spouses the right (without grounds) to void any agreement concluded between them during marriage.

 

**Further to that--:

"a usufruct contract between husband and wife may not offer the often expected straight forward protection for the foreign spouse."

 

https://www.siam-legal.com/

 

 

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As I see it, from the limited information given the Op has two choices-

1/ stay married but live seperate lives.

2/ get divorced and take whatever deal the wife is willing to agree to. I don't see that the OP has any hope of getting what he wants.

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2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

As you have a house in Thailand, no house in the UK, and a 12 year old child.

The UK family court will most likely award her 100% of the Phuket home.

Best to wait it out, at least until the youngest kid is age 19.

 

What's the hurry?

No sex in Brit marriages is normal.

OP doesn't say where they were married, but if in Thailand why would a British family court have any say in a divorce, and even if married in the UK have any control over property in Thailand? Bit outside their jurisdiction IMO.

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Just another poster bait first post, there have been scores of first post like this from newbies never heard from again. Appears to have been posted in the middle of the night in the UK, really?

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2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

OP doesn't say where they were married, but if in Thailand why would a British family court have any say in a divorce, and even if married in the UK have any control over property in Thailand? Bit outside their jurisdiction IMO.

Country of residence has jurisdiction.

UK divorce court has jurisdiction over worldwide assets.

My Brit pal was divorced in the Uk and she got his Brit house and his French house.

Seemed a bit unfair to me, but that's the way it is in the UK.

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8 hours ago, reddo1973 said:

By leasing the house back to me, I feel I have some control over the asset in her name.

I know I'm stupid but how can YOU lease a property back to YOU that's in HER name and land owned by HER.

 

Seems your best bet is a polite conversation involving buttering her up and lots of pretty pleases 

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Seems u are after some security so u shouldn’t have bought the house in her name anyway how about estimate the value of your house.

lets say 4,000,000 Bht then list a mortgage on the house in ur name of 2,000,000 at the title-deed. So in case of a sale u will receive that 2M Bht before her getting the remaining.

Btw what’s ur age gap?

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Thanks all for your comments - it's appreciated. This wasn't a click bait, or trolling going on so I am surpised at some peoples words suggesting it may have been.

 

With clear communication and doing the right thing for everyone and I am sure we it'll be fine.

 

Good luck everyone and thanks.

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Unless she agrees in writing to split on a 50%/50% basis on everything including the house, then: 
1) listen and note in writing, what she expects IF there is an amicable way out of it
2) stay married and both carry on with their separate lives 
3) transfer the property into the names of the three children
4) just forget about everything and start anew at square 1

Good luck! 

 

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9 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

What do you envisage a lease will achieve ? A lease wont make any difference to you getting 50% of the house. A lease would insure you have ongoing right to live in the house until its sold etc but if your wife is happy to sign a lease (she is the landlord), she is agreeing to you living in the house anyway, making a lease unnecessary.

If your wife agrees that you get 50% of the house sale then a lease or even divorce doesn't make any difference, if she doesn't agree then a lease wont change that.

A long term, registered on the title deeds, lease will make the property harder to sell.

 

I think we don't have enough info to answer... Married where??? When was the house purchased??? ( before or after marriage), etc. 

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6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

As I see it, from the limited information given the Op has two choices-

1/ stay married but live seperate lives.

2/ get divorced and take whatever deal the wife is willing to agree to. I don't see that the OP has any hope of getting what he wants.

In worse case, an accident can happen very quickly. 5555555

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1 hour ago, jomtienisgood said:

I think we don't have enough info to answer... Married where??? When was the house purchased??? ( before or after marriage), etc. 

Yup if bought after Thai marriage its 50/50 anyhow

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11 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

A lease would insure you have ongoing right to live in the house until its sold etc

 

Not until it is sold. A properly registerd lease stays until it expires or both parties agree to remove it. The property will be worth much less with a long lease on, that's all 

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1 hour ago, 3NUMBAS said:

you just write it off like everyone else did

 

Thai family courts are actually good at ensuring that assets bought after marriage are shared 50/50, regardless of if one is a foreigner or not. If marriage is registered of course 

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Marrying a Thai woman rule number 1:
Never invest any more money in Thailand than you are willing to walk away from.

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1 hour ago, FalangJaiDee said:

I’m glad I have a treasure trove of anecdotes from boomers who married Thai women on this website. I’m renting women for the rest of my life (I’m 30). Cheers 🍻 

Good lad.  You've learned from the pros! 

Thumbs-up.jpg.f38f14cbef3e13b66e76aff71e961de5.jpg

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Contrary to what’s been posted and to what most people I knew told me to forget about it and write it off, I chose to ignore what people were saying and decided to fight with a Court Case.

Now my House was in her name yet I kicked her out,due to her gambling whilst I was out of the Country working.

 I found a Solicitor,well the Thai Manager of our Village did, I spoke to him via the Manager a number of times and attended Court also 3 / 4 times and barely uttered a word,it took just under a Year to resolve I got the House and all the contents and she never got 1 baht,so you see you don’t have to write it off or give in, give it a try,consult a Solicitor and take his advice,I did and I received over 4 million baht when I Sold it.

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"When was the house purchased??? ( before or after marriage), "


The house is in her name. she won't agree with divorce. They will go to court, she will win the house. And definitely she will win "alimony" for the 12 years old and perhaps some for herself. 

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