What is the Secret to Happiness?

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, Tanomazu said:

Absolutely. It is the only path to happiness really, to overcome an obstacle or problem.

 

If you think back to the happiest time in your life, it will be connected to you overcoming an obstacle or problem.

 

As someone said above, unfortunately these moments of happiness are fleeting and ephemeral. We all try to avoid problems, rather than seeking them out, which overall is a wise thing to do, but is also the way to minimize happiness.

 

 

I have to disagree. I've never been happy when confronting problems. For me problems are

1/ created by other people and generally unsolvable except by removing myself from anything to do with that person, as in relationships gone bad

2/ caused by my deteriorating body as in cancer, or dental problems. I survived the cancer but only by gaining ongoing and permanent problems, and my teeth are not getting any better.

 

I do have to work out how to do a project ( which some might consider to be a problem, but not I ) and successfully completing one does bring satisfaction, but I'd hesitate to describe it as happiness.

 

Perhaps you can give me an example of the problem that solved can bring happiness.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, Antonymous said:

Contentment comes at a time that you understand what your purpose is and that you are pursuing it. Discontent arrives when you forget or can’t find or are blocked from pursuing your purpose.

Agree. After retiring, my purpose in life was clear- to live in Thailand and to have a good relationship with my wife.

Having lost both wife and Thailand I am unable to find a purpose in my present situation, and I doubt I ever will before I cross the great divide.

I'd be content enough if I had a trouble free life, but there's always some <deleted> that comes along to stuff it up.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, gamini said:

It is not about money. I have had my ups and downs. But the best time in my life was when I had no money at all.

Pattaya 1965. I had lost my job. I stayed with a Thai friend who owned a very popular resort, restaurant  and boathouse , he gave me free food and drink (beer) and accommodation overlooking the beach. We went spearfishing nearly every  day in his boat. The water was crystal clear and teeming with large fish, including sharks .I gave him most of my catch which averaged probably 25 to 50 kg a day. I kept a few fish in his freezer for myself which I gave as tips to accommodating bar girls.  I did this for nearly six months. 

I agree. The nearest I came to pure happiness was in Antarctica. At the base we needed no money as everything we required was provided as part of the job, so how much I earned was irrelevant in the context of daily life, while back in the real world I was always conscious as to how little I earned compared to what I desired to earn.

[VocalNeal]

Happiness is positive cashflow.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

Late last year a group of UK the scientist managed to create what the formula for obtaining happiness is.

And it just comes down to just 3 words---

 

Some of the findings were surprising = most people are unhappiest at midlife. Young people and the very old are our happiest citizens. Satisfaction over life decreases from the early 20s, plateaus for about 40 years and then increases from about 65.  How they measured it was with the question – “Take a moment and imagine a ladder with steps numbered from zero at the bottom to 10 at the top. The top of the ladder represents the best possible life for you, and the bottom of the ladder represents the worst possible life for you. On which step of the ladder would you say you personally feel you stand?

The question that remains is what contributes to one's overall happiness. Hence the Formula by the UK Scientists

 

Happiness equals reality minus expectations.

 

 

 

 

So the three word Formula to help obtain happiness ………….“Lower your Expectations”

 

 

 

 

 

 

IMO those scientists need to get out into the real world.

What they are saying is to settle for less than one wants, but I could never be happy doing that, as I'd always know that I was settling, rather than striving to be the best I could be. My relationships always ended up as disasters, but I didn't go into them not wanting them to be perfect. Sure, I could probably have met some woman that I could live with in a boring, bland life, but I could never respect a woman that would settle for that sort of life. I wanted a woman that would reach for the stars with me.

I may never achieve the heights I aim for, but I could never be happy settling for less without even trying.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, KannikaP said:

Maybe because you clicked on the CONFUSED icon when I asked about muslims, shinto & Rastas..

There was more to your post than that.

[KannikaP]

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

There was more to your post than that.

This is exactly what I first posted, together with the edit when I saw that you and ChrisKC were confused.

 

'So if I am Muslim, Shinto or Rastafarian I cannot be happy, no?

 

To un-confuse Thaibeachlovers and ChrisKC.   Quoting fitobethaied 'When we reject Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, the wrath of God abides on us, and we should never expect that we can live a life that delivers any kind of happiness'

He is saying that unless one embraces Christianity & Jesus Christ, one cannot be happy. Not true, I know many happy Rastas!'

[jak2002003]

Happiness is clearly different for everyone. So, there is not a way to tell someone else how they can find it.

 

For me it is being out in nature, not wanting or having lots of material possessions, not having a lot of money (that would send me mad like some of the superstars). But having security of enough money if I need it for health reasons. 

 

Lack of worries and commitments, lack of debt, lack of clutter in my life.

 

So...I just like a simple honest life where I have freedom to be myself and am not trapped by anyone else or commitments. Also keep healthy and fit! 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, rcuthbert said:

Good health, young women, and cash.

Delete the "young" and I'll agree with you.

 

Better by far a woman that knows something of the world, knows who she is and is happy with herself, but a young woman IMO knows sod all about anything. The problem with youth IMO is that they think they know it all, when they don't.

 

BTW, that is my opinion of young men as well.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

This is exactly what I first posted, together with the edit when I saw that you and ChrisKC were confused.

 

'So if I am Muslim, Shinto or Rastafarian I cannot be happy, no?

 

To un-confuse Thaibeachlovers and ChrisKC.   Quoting fitobethaied 'When we reject Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, the wrath of God abides on us, and we should never expect that we can live a life that delivers any kind of happiness'

He is saying that unless one embraces Christianity & Jesus Christ, one cannot be happy. Not true, I know many happy Rastas!'

I wasn't confused about that part.

I am not going to get into a religious discussion with you, so go in peace.

[ChrisKC]

On 8/27/2021 at 12:00 AM, ChrisP24 said:

People could write (and many have written) a philosophical treatise on this subject.  For me, my simplest take on the subject is that happiness is a mindset, and happy people are those who, through a process of self-discovery and self-awareness, have developed a habit over time of being in that mindset.  Yes there will be ups and downs but happy people don't let the downs rule them.

 

You say that "Many of you have come to Thailand seeking this secret happiness, yet few have ever found it."  To that, I say that the happy expats are those who brought their happiness with them.  Those running from something or running to something are too often deceiving/misdirecting themselves.

 

As for women, my past relationships have been almost all good ones, and although those relationships of course come to an end one way or another, having had them, and having conducted myself in a way where I have few regrets, is a source of comfort and joy for me still.

 

I'll end with a quote from Yul Brynner:   “We are born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Everything in-between is a gift. ”

 

 

“We are born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Everything in-between is a gift. ”

 

Me maybe.  1945 - 2045  But what is important is The Dash (-)  Read the poem by Linda Ellis

[kiteman9]

Happiness is a warm gun.     She's not a girl who misses much
Do do do do do do, oh yeah
She's well-acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane
The man in the crowd with the multicolored mirrors
On his hobnail boots
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy
Working overtime
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the National Trust

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down
Down to the pits that I left uptown
I need a fix 'cause I'm going down

Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun

Happiness is a warm gun (bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun, momma (bang, bang, shoot, shoot)

When I hold you in my arms (ooh, oh, yeah)
And I feel my finger on your trigger (ooh, oh, yeah)
I know nobody can do me no harm (ooh, oh, yeah)
Because

Happiness is a warm gun, yes it is (bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
Happiness is a warm, yes it is, gun (happiness, bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
Well, don't you know that happiness is a warm gun momma?
(Happiness is a warm gun, yeah)

 

Edited August 28, 2021 by kiteman9

[Tanomazu]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I have to disagree. I've never been happy when confronting problems. For me problems are

1/ created by other people and generally unsolvable except by removing myself from anything to do with that person, as in relationships gone bad

2/ caused by my deteriorating body as in cancer, or dental problems. I survived the cancer but only by gaining ongoing and permanent problems, and my teeth are not getting any better.

 

I do have to work out how to do a project ( which some might consider to be a problem, but not I ) and successfully completing one does bring satisfaction, but I'd hesitate to describe it as happiness.

 

Perhaps you can give me an example of the problem that solved can bring happiness.

It looks like you have had to battle with serious relationship and health issues which could not be solved. Obviously that brings unhappiness.

 

Sure, I can give you a very clear example. I had gf I was trying to bring to the UK. She lived in another country I had absolutely no intention of moving to, it was not an option. However, I wanted this girl to move to the UK with me, and so did she. So I took legal advice, assembled a thick folder of papers and flew to another country to persuade the  English embassy official to let her come to the UK. We were not married. To the last minute I had serious doubts if they would grant her the visa she needed to join me. They also made it exciting by saying a document was missing, which we had to retrieve in the hotel, then bring to them. In the end however they granted her the visa. She was able to come to the UK.

 

In the face of very difficult obstacles I was able to overcome them and bring her to the UK. I still remember the overwhelming happiness in the taxi after we got the okay, and it was finally clear that we could start a live together in the UK.

 

That would be an example of a problem, that was created by other people, which got solved that unleashed great happiness.

 

I am not saying that you can solve every problem, that you will not get sick, etc, however, if you solve a problem, that is the path to happiness. I am very sorry to see that in your instance you have suffered through problems that proved unsolvable. That way lies unhappiness obviously.

[Doctor Tom]

OP; good wine, good food, a soft bed,  air conditioning,  a lovely compliant woman. a great F1 race ( not often seen I admit) , Tom Brady coming from behind in the forth quarter to win yet another Super Bowl; these are the ingredients of happiness, at least for me.  Each to his own.  

[rcuthbert]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Delete the "young" and I'll agree with you.

 

Better by far a woman that knows something of the world, knows who she is and is happy with herself, but a young woman IMO knows sod all about anything. The problem with youth IMO is that they think they know it all, when they don't.

 

BTW, that is my opinion of young men as well.

Young women create biological responses. It's fun to get them naked, and they can give me a son. Older Western women's thoughts and feelings have been shaped by the "Feminist Sociological perspective"; consequently, many men have left them for a younger un-indoctrinated girl. Probably, older Thai gals still prioritize  maintaining their mans happiness - which is a good thing; however, they do little to stimulate my physical interest - no matter how hard they try.

 

I love Thailand because it's devoid of Radical Feminists, and other Far Left ideologues - which makes me very happy.

 

[Caldera]

Don't marry, pay as you go.

 

[Tanomazu]

21 minutes ago, rcuthbert said:

Young women create biological responses. It's fun to get them naked, and they can give me a son. Older Western women's thoughts and feelings have been shaped by the "Feminist Sociological perspective"; consequently, many men have left them for a younger un-indoctrinated girl. Probably, older Thai gals still prioritize  maintaining their mans happiness - which is a good thing; however, they do little to stimulate my physical interest - no matter how hard they try.

 

I love Thailand because it's devoid of Radical Feminists, and other Far Left ideologues - which makes me very happy.

 

Feminism indeed appears to be one of the creations of Satan, used to make life miserable and worse for both sexes.

 

I still remember how in my lifetime, only 20 years ago, feminism had not made the break through it has made now, when women were afraid to pronounce they were feminists for fear of the public disapproval. Now things are a bit different, at least among the glitterati.

 

Whilst feminists are rare in Thailand, unfortunately the country is not devoid of them. As we type they are meeting in secret behind closed doors in ostensibly "Buddhist" women-only retreats to debate how to further the feminist cause in Thailand.

 

Meet Ouyporn Khuankaew

 

"Ouyporn is a Buddhist feminist activist and has been a workshop facilitator in Asia since 1995. She facilitates workshops on feminist counseling, sexuality and anti-oppression. Prior to IWP, she ran the gender program of the International Network of Engaged Buddhists."

 

https://womenforpeaceandjustice.org/about-iwp/contact-us/

 

And it's not just in Chiang Mai. These women-only supposedly Buddhist feminist centres exist all over Thailand.

 

Because they use the guise of Buddhism they even pocket the respect of society for their man-hating, feminist agenda, which they keep close to their chest while they sell perverted pseudo-Buddhism, meditation and yoga for women-only.

 

Whilst clearly having feminists confined to obscure retreats is preferable to having them all over your newspaper and tv screen like in the West, we still have to be vigilant in Thailand against the feminist man-haters.

 

If the numbers are so small currently in Thailand, it is only because Thai men have been vigilant and enforced the patriarchy however, it only takes one weak period, like in the west, and this state of affairs in Thailand can be radically changed into the feminist paradise the West has become, and thus a hell for the rest of humanity that does not subscribe to the evil of feminism.

 

 

 

Edited August 28, 2021 by Tanomazu

[thaibeachlovers]

18 minutes ago, rcuthbert said:

Young women create biological responses. It's fun to get them naked, and they can give me a son. Older Western women's thoughts and feelings have been shaped by the "Feminist Sociological perspective"; consequently, many men have left them for a younger un-indoctrinated girl. Probably, older Thai gals still prioritize  maintaining their mans happiness - which is a good thing; however, they do little to stimulate my physical interest - no matter how hard they try.

 

I love Thailand because it's devoid of Radical Feminists, and other Far Left ideologues - which makes me very happy.

 

Given I didn't want a son, or a daughter, I preferred women that actually knew how to do sex, rather than trying to educate a young one about it. The idea of being the "first" never held any appeal for me.

Yes indoctrination of western women is a problem, but I gave up on western women at age 35 and never even considered one again. That's why I, and millions of western men, love Thailand.

Best Thai woman I ever did the biz with was in her late 30s, and still very attractive. Wasn't around the next holiday I had in LOS, so never saw her again. Still think about her sometimes.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

Feminism indeed appears to be one of the creations of Satan, used to make life miserable and worse for both sexes.

 

I still remember how in my lifetime, only 20 years ago, feminism had not made the break through it has made now, when women were afraid to pronounce they were feminists for fear of the public disapproval. Now things are a bit different, at least among the glitterati.

 

Whilst feminists are rare in Thailand, unfortunately the country is not devoid of them. As we type they are meeting in secret behind closed doors in ostensibly "Buddhist" women-only retreats to debate how to further the feminist cause in Thailand.

 

Meet Ouyporn Khuankaew

 

"Ouyporn is a Buddhist feminist activist and has been a workshop facilitator in Asia since 1995. She facilitates workshops on feminist counseling, sexuality and anti-oppression. Prior to IWP, she ran the gender program of the International Network of Engaged Buddhists."

 

https://womenforpeaceandjustice.org/about-iwp/contact-us/

 

And it's not just in Chiang Mai. These women-only supposedly Buddhist feminist centres exist all over Thailand.

 

Because they use the guise of Buddhism they even pocket the respect of society for their man-hating, feminist agenda, which they keep close to their chest while they sell perverted pseudo-Buddhism, meditation and yoga for women-only.

 

Whilst clearly having feminists confined to obscure retreats is preferable to having them all over your newspaper and tv screen like in the West, we still have to be vigilant in Thailand against the feminist man-haters.

 

If the numbers are so small currently in Thailand, it is only because Thai men have been vigilant and enforced the patriarchy however, it only takes one weak period, like in the west, and this state of affairs in Thailand can be radically changed into the feminist paradise the West has become, and thus a hell for the rest of humanity that does not subscribe to the evil of feminism.

 

 

 

Feminism started to gain equality for women in western society. They gained that many years ago. They are now IMO going beyond equality and seeking domination, and IMO so far succeeding beyond their wildest dreams, aided IMO by male politicians that won't stand up against it.

I have no solution, other than to live in LOS.

[thaibeachlovers]

14 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

Feminism indeed appears to be one of the creations of Satan, used to make life miserable and worse for both sexes.

While I can't say if satan is involved I do think that women have tried to have it all, but ended up still being unhappy. Having a career and children results IMO in either career or children suffering, as despite their best efforts to domesticate men, men do not IMO generally make as good a "mother" as a woman does. So women end up trying to keep a career by sending children to the care of strangers during their formative years and then wonder why the kids are not as loving as they want them to be. They neglect their husbands, and stop sex, which makes husband PO. Not a happy household.

 

While I never had children of my own, I did live with a woman that had 2 kids and that had to be the worst 5 years of my life. It was a huge relief when I walked away, even though I lost everything to do so. She was the ultimate career woman, and was always upset when the kids didn't appreciate her the way she thought she deserved.

[Tanomazu]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Feminism started to gain equality for women in western society. They gained that many years ago. They are now IMO going beyond equality and seeking domination, and IMO so far succeeding beyond their wildest dreams, aided IMO by male politicians that won't stand up against it.

I have no solution, other than to live in LOS.

Yes, we men fell for the "equality" lie line hook and sinker. We did not understand then that feminism was not about equality. It was about ego. Pankhurst did not want equality to vote, she was a social psyocopath and narcissist with a pathological ego. Feminism is about ego.

 

If in Asia they spoil the boy, in the West they spoil the daughter. We've created a generation of massively entitled feminist monsters. Their preferred work is to lecture in gender studies, newspapers, tv studios, about the insufferable suffering of the poor feminist.

 

The problem is men still take them seriously. Even after they have the vote, childcare at taxpayer expense, more money spent on medical care than men, the criminal and family justice systems tailored to their advantage to the extent that a woman can kill a man by burning him alive and walk away with 3 years because of battered woman syndrome.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiranjit_Ahluwalia

 

This woman who killed her husband by burning him alive is now a media celebrity in feminist circles in the UK.

 

So it is clear. Feminists want to shape society, all our institutions, the law in particular, viciously in their favour, at the expense of men. It is not about equality. It is about an ego-trip and selfish advantage.

 

Whilst it is indeed a part of happiness to avoid feminists in LOS, they do exist here as well, and whilst we can escape the evil of feminism here by and large, we are already seeing an influx of western feminists into Thailand to educate the "sisters" further on how to help the feminist cause succeed in Thailand. Only Thai men and Thai patriarchy can save us.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

52 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

Yes, we men fell for the "equality" lie line hook and sinker. We did not understand then that feminism was not about equality. It was about ego. Pankhurst did not want equality to vote, she was a social psyocopath and narcissist with a pathological ego. Feminism is about ego.

 

If in Asia they spoil the boy, in the West they spoil the daughter. We've created a generation of massively entitled feminist monsters. Their preferred work is to lecture in gender studies, newspapers, tv studios, about the insufferable suffering of the poor feminist.

 

The problem is men still take them seriously. Even after they have the vote, childcare at taxpayer expense, more money spent on medical care than men, the criminal and family justice systems tailored to their advantage to the extent that a woman can kill a man by burning him alive and walk away with 3 years because of battered woman syndrome.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiranjit_Ahluwalia

 

This woman who killed her husband by burning him alive is now a media celebrity in feminist circles in the UK.

 

So it is clear. Feminists want to shape society, all our institutions, the law in particular, viciously in their favour, at the expense of men. It is not about equality. It is about an ego-trip and selfish advantage.

 

Whilst it is indeed a part of happiness to avoid feminists in LOS, they do exist here as well, and whilst we can escape the evil of feminism here by and large, we are already seeing an influx of western feminists into Thailand to educate the "sisters" further on how to help the feminist cause succeed in Thailand. Only Thai men and Thai patriarchy can save us.

But you no doubt agree that women should have every opportunity that they want to work and live how they wish. You would agree too that in the past women weren't given the opportunities in Western countries that they should have. You would agree too that the way women have to live in islamic and other countries is not fair. So you are a type of feminist. You can argue for women's rights and argue that the type of issues you raise above are not fair. 

[rcuthbert]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Given I didn't want a son, or a daughter, I preferred women that actually knew how to do sex, rather than trying to educate a young one about it. The idea of being the "first" never held any appeal for me.

Yes indoctrination of western women is a problem, but I gave up on western women at age 35 and never even considered one again. That's why I, and millions of western men, love Thailand.

Best Thai woman I ever did the biz with was in her late 30s, and still very attractive. Wasn't around the next holiday I had in LOS, so never saw her again. Still think about her sometimes.

Well stated Bro.

 

Cheers.

[1FinickyOne]

On 8/26/2021 at 11:27 PM, GammaGlobulin said:

Now, here I am in Thailand. I am now here in Thailand, and I am blessed. Yet, I wonder why I am not feeling as happy as I should, just being as lucky as I know that I am.

I think happiness is a plateau... if it is a high enuf plateau, you level off and feel content. Happiness is also a fleeting state of mind, different for each of us... 

 

On 8/26/2021 at 11:27 PM, GammaGlobulin said:

Living with Thai women, as well as other women, just makes me feel…SO happy.

yeah? how many of them do you have there... a wife is nice, and a 2nd wife but then they fight so you need a 3rd wife but then 2 gang up against 1 and then you need a 4th wife to even things out.. maybe just keep the first wife and get a massage.... that can bring an hours worth of happiness maybe... 

[spidermike007]

Perhaps the biggest secret is to stop pursuing happiness. First of all, it is impossible to measure. Sure, you know if you are depressed, or despondent. But happy? I find it easier to measure something like fulfillment. And being fulfilled leads to a state of mind that might be labeled as contentment. For many of us, that is about as close to "happiness" as we will get. And it is enough. 

[Tanomazu]

1 hour ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

But you no doubt agree that women should have every opportunity that they want to work and live how they wish. You would agree too that in the past women weren't given the opportunities in Western countries that they should have. You would agree too that the way women have to live in islamic and other countries is not fair. So you are a type of feminist. You can argue for women's rights and argue that the type of issues you raise above are not fair. 

When women entered the workforce en masse due to the exceptional calamity that was world war two this opened the door to women flooding into the work world. It looked innocent at first, however, this came at a price.

 

Pair bonding was not invented by women. Before the advent of pair bonding both women and men were wildly promiscuous. You can still see this in chimpanzee and Bonobo society today. Promiscuity was the starting point. However, the problem with this was that only a small select group of men, the victors in male on male competition, then had unlimited access to mating with women. Until the less successful males figured something out, that they could trade provisioning for sexual access. After providing provisioning to a female the male could however find that another male swooped in and "stole" a pregnancy. Obviously that was a wasted investment, so the male required the female to be faithful to him. The female agreed in return for provisioning. This trading provisioning for sexual access can also be witnessed in chimpanzee and Bonobo society. Thus was pair bonding born.

 

https://www.pnas.org/content/109/25/9923

 

However, with the advent of women entering the work place and the welfare state it was clear that women no longer needed to provide sexual access in return for provisioning. The work place or the welfare state now did that. Finding a male now was no longer a matter of life or death, but merely of decrease or increase of luxuries, a better wardrobe or tv perhaps.

 

Hence the terminal decline of pair bonding in our current time, with some women, usually feminists, now refusing to pair bond altogether and refusing to have children, whilst others merely use it for material gain and swiftly abandon the male once his economic value has been extracted.

 

If we had never introduced women into the workforce the crisis in pair-bonding may have been averted and possibly would never have happened. Women also would be much happier this way, for even if radical feminists who live alone think it's wonderful, if you ask them a few decades later they're just bitter lonely people. However, above all the unhappiness of many men would have been avoided.

 

Now women have very little reason to stay faithful to a man, unless they have kids and economic necessity, which is very often not the case anymore.

 

 

Edited August 28, 2021 by Tanomazu

[Fat is a type of crazy]

14 minutes ago, Tanomazu said:

When women entered the workforce en masse due to the exceptional calamity that was world war two this opened the door to women flooding into the work world. It looked innocent at first, however, this came at a price.

 

Pair bonding was not invented by women. Before the advent of pair bonding both women and men were wildly promiscuous. You can still see this in chimpanzee and Bonobo society today. Promiscuity was the starting point. However, the problem with this was that only a small select group of men, the victors in male on male competition, then had unlimited access to mating with women. Until the less successful males figured something out, that they could trade provisioning for sexual access. After providing provisioning to a female the male could however find that another male swooped in and "stole" a pregnancy. Obviously that was a wasted investment, so the male required the female to be faithful to him. The female agreed in return for provisioning. This trading provisioning for sexual access can also be witnessed in chimpanzee and Bonobo society. Thus was pair bonding born.

 

https://www.pnas.org/content/109/25/9923

 

However, with the advent of women entering the work place and the welfare state it was clear that women no longer needed to provide sexual access in return for provisioning. The work place or the welfare state now did that. Finding a male now was no longer a matter of life or death, but merely of decrease or increase of luxuries, a better wardrobe or tv perhaps.

 

Hence the terminal decline of pair bonding in our current time, with some women, usually feminists, now refusing to pair bond altogether and refusing to have children, whilst others merely use it for material gain and swiftly abandon the male once his economic value has been extracted.

 

If we had never introduced women into the workforce the crisis in pair-bonding may have been averted and possibly would never have happened. Women also would be much happier this way, for even if radical feminists who live alone think it's wonderful, if you ask them a few decades later they're just bitter lonely people. However, above all the unhappiness of many men would have been avoided.

 

Now women have very little reason to stay faithful to a man, unless they have kids and economic necessity, which is very often not the case anymore.

 

 

Your comments on this and on happiness being based on overcoming something are interesting. I can admit that I am not that attracted to many Western women for a range of reasons. 

Surely though you are not arguing that women's rights and freedoms should be curtailed. That taking away their freedoms and making them dependent on men is a good thing. 

The bottom line for me is that happiness comes down to freedom.  I know it sounds a bit obvious and cliched but I can't see why women can't find happiness through freedom too. 

 

It must have sucked being a full time housewife if you have some smarts , for some but not all, and must suck wearing a burqa etc. If there is some natural balance between men and women it'll probably happen over time.   If they are getting smarter and freer maybe we have to do the same. Give them a reason to want and need us. 

 

[ThailandRyan]

A nice meal, A nice view and my dog at my side as we watch the sunset in the evening and then watching the sun rise while having my coffee and he his kibble.  Life is easy.

[Tanomazu]

48 minutes ago, Fat is a type of crazy said:

Your comments on this and on happiness being based on overcoming something are interesting. I can admit that I am not that attracted to many Western women for a range of reasons. 

Surely though you are not arguing that women's rights and freedoms should be curtailed. That taking away their freedoms and making them dependent on men is a good thing. 

The bottom line for me is that happiness comes down to freedom.  I know it sounds a bit obvious and cliched but I can't see why women can't find happiness through freedom too. 

 

It must have sucked being a full time housewife if you have some smarts , for some but not all, and must suck wearing a burqa etc. If there is some natural balance between men and women it'll probably happen over time.   If they are getting smarter and freer maybe we have to do the same. Give them a reason to want and need us. 

 

Like you I am a radical believer in freedom. That is why I like Thailand and the USA so much. The feeling of freedom is quantitatively greater.

 

However, even in the USA, in Thailand we are not actually free. Yes, we have more freedoms than in say Japan or Denmark, however, even here our freedoms are curtailed on a daily basis. There are limits to freedom even in the USA and in Thailand.

 

I'll give you an example. Free speech. The USA is rightly perceived as one of the freest countries in the world, where you can say a lot of things you can not say elsewhere. However, in the US too there are limits to freedom of speech. If you scream "fire" in a crowded theatre, that is a potential crime in the US, and is not defended by freedom of speech.  For very good reason, to protect society.

 

Now, we have the unfortunate situation that the freedoms of some reduce the freedom of others. So in principle everyone can not be perfectly free. Never. It just is impossible. You have to realise that the freedoms of some are always at the expense of others, in the worst case your own.

 

In law this is acutely recognised, and the principle is generally that freedoms are allowed as long as they are not harmful to others. However, as I have said, the freedoms of some often are at the expense of others' freedom.

 

So it's not a question of should women's freedoms or rights be curtailed. They already are. As are mens' rights and freedoms.

 

Obviously you are very right in that one has to be very careful in curtailing anyone's freedoms.

 

The question is rather, are the rights some feminists claim, to be alone at home and never pair bond, ie not procreate and contribute tax payers to society, is that harmful to men and society at large? Is excessive expenditure on women's health harmful to society at large, male taxpayers for instance? Is a criminal law that allows women who burn their husbands to death and the lets them walk free after 3 years harmful to society, and men?

 

Does a family law, as reshaped by feminist lawyers, which encourages women to extract economic advantage from men and leave them, harm society, harm men?

 

My take on it is this, whilst I am extremely liberal, and in an ideal world would not care what feminists do, when they do something that harms me, and reduces my freedoms I would certainly consider rolling back on some of the excesses they have caused.

 

This is already happening of course, as lawyers in the UK have started to make family law a bit fairer, after feminist excesses made a mockery of family law.

 

The real issue is that pair bonding has created the basis of all civilization, the family unit. And allowing women to work has clearly undermined the family, feminists' decision to live at home alone, and never pair bond, has undermined the principle of family and society. Feminism is a threat to civilization, not just happiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 28, 2021 by Tanomazu

[StreetCowboy]

1 hour ago, Tanomazu said:

Like you I am a radical believer in freedom. That is why I like Thailand and the USA so much. The feeling of freedom is quantitatively greater.

 

However, even in the USA, in Thailand we are not actually free. Yes, we have more freedoms than in say Japan or Denmark, however, even here our freedoms are curtailed on a daily basis. There are limits to freedom even in the USA and in Thailand.

 

I'll give you an example. Free speech. The USA is rightly perceived as one of the freest countries in the world, where you can say a lot of things you can not say elsewhere. However, in the US too there are limits to freedom of speech. If you scream "fire" in a crowded theatre, that is a potential crime in the US, and is not defended by freedom of speech.  For very good reason, to protect society.

 

Now, we have the unfortunate situation that the freedoms of some reduce the freedom of others. So in principle everyone can not be perfectly free. Never. It just is impossible. You have to realise that the freedoms of some are always at the expense of others, in the worst case your own.

 

In law this is acutely recognised, and the principle is generally that freedoms are allowed as long as they are not harmful to others. However, as I have said, the freedoms of some often are at the expense of others' freedom.

 

So it's not a question of should women's freedoms or rights be curtailed. They already are. As are mens' rights and freedoms.

 

Obviously you are very right in that one has to be very careful in curtailing anyone's freedoms.

 

The question is rather, are the rights some feminists claim, to be alone at home and never pair bond, ie not procreate and contribute tax payers to society, is that harmful to men and society at large? Is excessive expenditure on women's health harmful to society at large, male taxpayers for instance? Is a criminal law that allows women who burn their husbands to death and the lets them walk free after 3 years harmful to society, and men?

 

Does a family law, as reshaped by feminist lawyers, which encourages women to extract economic advantage from men and leave them, harm society, harm men?

 

My take on it is this, whilst I am extremely liberal, and in an ideal world would not care what feminists do, when they do something that harms me, and reduces my freedoms I would certainly consider rolling back on some of the excesses they have caused.

 

This is already happening of course, as lawyers in the UK have started to make family law a bit fairer, after feminist excesses made a mockery of family law.

 

The real issue is that pair bonding has created the basis of all civilization, the family unit. And allowing women to work has clearly undermined the family, feminists' decision to live at home alone, and never pair bond, has undermined the principle of family and society. Feminism is a threat to civilization, not just happiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you happy?