GF or Wife

[OneMoreFarang]

39 minutes ago, Maha Sarakham said:

I'm of the opinion that if you don't think you can trust a woman in a relationship, you shouldn't be considering marriage in the first place.

I agree. But even if you trust her now ask yourself if you can be sure that you will be able to trust her in 10 or 20 or xx years. If you marry her then you better trust her forever.

[BritManToo]

18 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I agree. But even if you trust her now ask yourself if you can be sure that you will be able to trust her in 10 or 20 or xx years. If you marry her then you better trust her forever.

If you're 80 years old you probably won't need to worry all that long.

 

Gotta laugh at the optimism of guys looking for one that's different.

Gotta laugh even harder at the guys that imagine their one IS different.

All women lie, cheat and steal ....... it's just a matter of time.

Edited January 23, 2022 by BritManToo

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

If you're 80 years old you probably won't need to worry all that long.

All women lie, cheat and steal ....... it's just a matter of time.

It must be tiring to live with so much mistrust so long? As said before, I like to give trust, and if fail, well move on and do not look back. 

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

It must be tiring to live with so much mistrust so long? As said before, I like to give trust, and if fail, well move on and do not look back. 

It's only a problem if you have false expectations.

[Skallywag]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Marriage is a legal contract, not more and not less. If I sign any legal contract I think if it makes sense or if there is a huge risk/downside compared to a small upside.

Very true.  

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

I see marriage for practical reasons as well honor your love of your life. 

Cannot see this ever happeneing to me, "love of your life" scenario.  Kudos to those who feel this way.

I like variety and am too old to settle down or seek "the one".  Was married and have had gf's but was never as happy as being single.  Seems to be in our DNA, some guys only seek long time gf's or marriage/love to them, some guys just do not IMO

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

It's only a problem if you have false expectations.

Haha, that can be, cant help it, but at least you made me laugh out loud LOL. 

 

I prefer pink glasses as long it last, and then if so, move on, and thats maybe why Im still happy about my past. Even the struggles I had, seems so far away now, and a very good teaching and lesson in life. I would do the same again, and again, 

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

Very true.  

Cannot see this ever happeneing to me, "love of your life" scenario.  Kudos to those who feel this way.

I like variety and am too old to settle down or seek "the one".  Was married and have had gf's but was never as happy as being single.  Seems to be in our DNA, some guys only seek long time gf's or marriage/love to them, some guys just do not IMO

I like a regular menu and a selection of side dishes.

In Asia you can have both, and nobody seems that bothered.

Edited January 23, 2022 by BritManToo

[lopburi3]

16 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

If you're 80 years old you probably won't need to worry all that long.

 

Gotta laugh at the optimism of guys looking for one that's different.

Gotta laugh even harder at the guys that imagine their one IS different.

All women lie, cheat and steal ....... it's just a matter of time.

 

[Lacessit]

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I like a regular menu and a selection of side dishes.

In Asia you can have both, and nobody seems that bothered.

Until someone decides to feed the ducks. Is that why you keep rabbits?

[sirineou]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

My gf can dance - no question about that. About the singing: I prefer if she does that with her friends in a karaoke place far away from me. ????

 

I understand what you write about happiness, but I don't agree. Many people think they would be happy if only they were married, have a big house and a big car and this and that. And yes, if they just marry or just get a new car then they are a little happier than previously. And then, soon after that event, the situation goes back to: I would be happier if only ...

 

I think that is the big issue which we have to understand for ourselves. We are not long time happier with a big car or house or being married, etc. Most of that becomes normal after a short while. IMHO marriage does not make us long term happier. 

Dude do i have to tell you everything? 

Love and marriage go together  like a horse and carriage 

this I tell you brother, you cant have one without the other. .

Ask the local gentry and they will say it's elementary.

 

[Hummin]

19 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

Very true.  

Cannot see this ever happeneing to me, "love of your life" scenario.  Kudos to those who feel this way.

I like variety and am too old to settle down or seek "the one".  Was married and have had gf's but was never as happy as being single.  Seems to be in our DNA, some guys only seek long time gf's or marriage/love to them, some guys just do not IMO

I'm still in my low 50'ies and still want 4-5 times a week, it will be a lot of work making that happens as a single guy. As said having a long term gf out of practical reasons as well. Alot of work to make it happen, but still enjoy it  ????

 

not to forget, I like to eat home, as long the food is good, and sometimes better than the top notch restaurants. Made just how I like it

Edited January 23, 2022 by Hummin

[Lacessit]

I am not married to my GF. She proposed to me quite some years ago.

Under Australian Centrelink's cockeyed rules, if we got married, I would lose about 10,000 baht per month in pension income. If I did not report the marriage, and they found out, they would be able to give me a world of pain.

I explained this to her at the time, and she is on board with it. She will be well taken care of when I die, that's enough.

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I'm still in my low 50'ies and still want 4-5 times a week, it will be a lot of work making that happens as a single guy. As said having a long term gf out of practical reasons as well. Alot of work to make it happen, but still enjoy it  ????

Getting married because you like sex is like buying a Jumbo jet because you like eating peanuts.

Usually getting married reduces your sex life (with your wife) to once a month.

Here, the only limit on the sex you can have is the number of 1,500bhts you have.

Edited January 23, 2022 by BritManToo

[Pravda]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Getting married because you like sex is like buying a Jumbo jet because you like eating peanuts.

Usually getting married reduces your sex life (with your wife) to once a month.

I agree. A friend once told me when you get married the woman becomes a family. Did you ever want to s$$ew family? Exactly.

 

I'm on my 3rd marriage and can safely say... at least in my opinion that sex with the same person gets booooring 

 

And this is completely my issue too

 

 

[Banana7]

10 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I am not married to my GF. She proposed to me quite some years ago.

Under Australian Centrelink's cockeyed rules, if we got married, I would lose about 10,000 baht per month in pension income. If I did not report the marriage, and they found out, they would be able to give me a world of pain.

I explained this to her at the time, and she is on board with it. She will be well taken care of when I die, that's enough.

Be careful. Many Thai women are looking forward to the BIG payday, as soon as possible. Some say, Thai ladies can hasten the payday and made it happen before your natural death. Many stories on the internet about how the wife or girlfriend or their family have wanted the BIG payday now, not many years later.

[Lacessit]

12 minutes ago, Banana7 said:

Be careful. Many Thai women are looking forward to the BIG payday, as soon as possible. Some say, Thai ladies can hasten the payday and made it happen before your natural death. Many stories on the internet about how the wife or girlfriend or their family have wanted the BIG payday now, not many years later.

Noted. As my GF prays to Buddha for a long life for me, I'm not concerned.

The other factor is her steady monthly allowance, and I pay regular bills such as power and internet. She would be living off the capital I leave her when I die, so it is in her interest to keep me alive for as long as possible.

 

"The punters know that the horse named Morality rarely gets past the post, whereas the nag named Self-interest always runs a good race" ( Gough Whitlam )

[ivor bigun]

been married to my Thai wife 26 yrs ,some of the happiest years of my life .

[Klonko]

I married my Thai sweetheart because

• I love her, and so does presumably she
• Evidence money is not her main driver
• She will be entitled to my pension
• Schengen visa a formality
• Main domicile in Thailand
• Divorce would not be costly
• I had  a good marriage with my late wife

I was lucky to meet my wife. I rather live alone than compromiseing.

[RJRS1301]

45 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I am not married to my GF. She proposed to me quite some years ago.

Under Australian Centrelink's cockeyed rules, if we got married, I would lose about 10,000 baht per month in pension income. If I did not report the marriage, and they found out, they would be able to give me a world of pain.

I explained this to her at the time, and she is on board with it. She will be well taken care of when I die, that's enough.

Centrelink can make life hard, if they find out you are in "a marriage like relationship", however  less likely to found out in Thailand

[Hummin]

50 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Getting married because you like sex is like buying a Jumbo jet because you like eating peanuts.

Usually getting married reduces your sex life (with your wife) to once a month.

Here, the only limit on the sex you can have is the number of 1,500bhts you have.

It might be so, so first Budda wedding, and I'm really do not need to marry to get family reunion, it can be done as living at same adress 3 years to, so as fast the  Covid situation is normalized, we can apply.

[stigar]

I been married a thailady 11 years..2 kids together.We divorced 6 year ago in my country.Easy to divorce here.We use the goverment website and both signed didital.After 1 year legally divorced.She brough the divorcepapers to thailand and get our thai wedding anulled there too.

My new lady and i talk sometimes about getting married but we dont know yet.The benefits she will get is that if our marrige is registrated in 5 years in my country she will get my pension the rest of her life if i die.We will see later this year what we decide to do.

[Lacessit]

56 minutes ago, RJRS1301 said:

Centrelink can make life hard, if they find out you are in "a marriage like relationship", however  less likely to found out in Thailand

It's a grey area. Defacto relationships are registered by Centrelink in Australia. They are not recognised under Thai law.

It's an anomaly, because if I was married to an Australian citizen and we lived in Thailand, we would both get the couples' pension or part pension, depending on asset level. A foreigner gets nothing, but Centrelink still cuts the single pension because they can.

I've never asked about the defacto situation, and I don't intend to.

[Adumbration]

Don't marry her.  Just buy her a cheap house.

[Golden Triangle]

Me and the mrs are NOT married, never will be, we've been together for over 10 years, no kids, neither of us want them, she is the only name in my will and will get everything when I pop my clogs, we are as happy together today as we were when we first met more than 10 years back.

 

Marriage is not required as far as we are concerned.

[Skallywag]

4 hours ago, Hummin said:

I'm still in my low 50'ies and still want 4-5 times a week, it will be a lot of work making that happens as a single guy. As said having a long term gf out of practical reasons as well. Alot of work to make it happen, but still enjoy it  ????

 

not to forget, I like to eat home, as long the food is good, and sometimes better than the top notch restaurants. Made just how I like it

Practicle for me is not eating at home, did that for 45 years or so and enjoy going out as I need to walk every day and get excercise.  I do get prepared food to take home many times.  Am totally against food delivery by motorcycle, their racing through traffic and noisy air polluting bikes are just a stain on urban living IMO.  Has been good for many businesses during the shut-downs here, but all open restaurants will also give you your food to take home from their shop.   Live in Pattaya so easy to get songthaew and walk almost anywhere, otherwise bolt taxi.

So dont need a cook, or a maid, or a designated driver, or someone to clip my nails either.  

Does your girlfriend shower with you and help clean you and you her?  That is one of my favorite things that Thai ladies do for their men. 

 

Good point on the 4-5 times a week, am over 60 and happy usually with 2-3 times a week.  Still get a massage with BJ once a week or so as well.  Guess I am pretty jaded or picky  After 2 + years of mongering full time, have only met 1-2 ladies I could ever imagine having sex with day after day week after week, etc...  They both have kids under 12 though and there is just no way I am going to spend time raising someone elses kids at this point in my life. 

It is all good, different people have different needs and lifestyles as we all know

Peace

[jerrymahoney]

On a strictly technical issue, depending upon what assets, family etc. you still have in the US -- getting married provides you with a next-of-kin here in Thailand for estate issues.

 

As a US citizen, If you die in Thailand without an obvious next-of-kin, it can be a real mess.

 

The OP posing the query is 80 years old. Obviously the answers are different if you are 20 or 30 years younger as it seems are most of the comments on here.

 

https://th.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/death-of-a-u-s-citizen/

Edited January 23, 2022 by jerrymahoney

[Hummin]

13 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

Practicle for me is not eating at home, did that for 45 years or so and enjoy going out as I need to walk every day and get excercise.  I do get prepared food to take home many times.  Am totally against food delivery by motorcycle, their racing through traffic and noisy air polluting bikes are just a stain on urban living IMO.  Has been good for many businesses during the shut-downs here, but all open restaurants will also give you your food to take home from their shop.   Live in Pattaya so easy to get songthaew and walk almost anywhere, otherwise bolt taxi.

So dont need a cook, or a maid, or a designated driver, or someone to clip my nails either.  

Does your girlfriend shower with you and help clean you and you her?  That is one of my favorite things that Thai ladies do for their men. 

 

Good point on the 4-5 times a week, am over 60 and happy usually with 2-3 times a week.  Still get a massage with BJ once a week or so as well.  Guess I am pretty jaded or picky  After 2 + years of mongering full time, have only met 1-2 ladies I could ever imagine having sex with day after day week after week, etc...  They both have kids under 12 though and there is just no way I am going to spend time raising someone elses kids at this point in my life. 

It is all good, different people have different needs and lifestyles as we all know

Peace

Been Travelling for sport and work all my life, so I enjoy home now actually, even I do get restless once and awhile, I just jump on my motorbike either alone, or with my gf or friends and go. Always nice to come back home. 

 

I have found my brain as my tool when it comes to the duty, and also enjoy that my lady did not just <deleted> someone, BJ or slept in another bed lately, and we do not need to use any protection. 

 

Trust comes with a relationship, even my experiences say something different. Innocent to guilt proven and make sure my pink glasses is clean and clear.

 

I still believe if I get single again, I will find a new one for long-term, since I finely enjoy the company, and have grown up. I think, and another important I never enjoyed to bar scene or the p4p scene. I really do not enjoy bar life either as many do enjoy, and have their favourite bar they attend almost every day. 

 

 

Edited January 23, 2022 by Hummin

[cobra]

IMHO, it's actually in one's interest to not be legally bound to another in any way.

 

Not because of draconian and unequitable support and property law, but when two are free to separate for any reason or whim without consequence, this may actually help the relationship by keeping everyone on their best behavior.

 

[habuspasha]

38 minutes ago, cobra said:

IMHO, it's actually in one's interest to not be legally bound to another in any way.

 

Not because of draconian and unequitable support and property law, but when two are free to separate for any reason or whim without consequence, this may actually help the relationship by keeping everyone on their best behavior.

 

 I completely agree if by "best behavior" you mean most free and unforced.  Love or friendship can not be directed.

[habuspasha]

4 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

the OP posing the query is 80 years old. Obviously the answers are different if you are 20 or 30 years younger as it seems are most of the comments on here.

I have never been made to feel as old as I have reading how many of you latched on to my age as the critical issue here--a fact I mentioned only to explain we weren't interested in starting a family (actually she's less interested than I am).  Have none of you heard "80 is the new 40?"  I almost believe it, and the believing helps make it so.  My questions would not have been very different 40 years ago.  Less mature, confident, and optimistic: that's all.