Could and would you live where you live without your wife?

[Tarteso]

31 minutes ago, Skeptic7 said:

Wow, your hypothetical scenerio is my actual awful, <deleted> reality. My much younger GF of 10 years (whom everyone considered my wife & I her husband) suddenly and unexpectedly died early last year. I was shattered and worthless for months and still suffer almost daily. Still shattered but doing my best to accept it and carry on. Will never get over her death...the loss, the sorrow. It still disables and breaks me down at times and suppose always will.

 

The answer to the OP query is...No. Not at our house. I just couldn't handle it emotionally. We had a house custom built, which she designed, in a beautiful, secluded setting in her home province Kanchanaburi, surrounded by mountains and across from a large lake. I fell in love with it. We had 6 dogs and 4 cats. A Honda motorbike and a Toyota Fortuner. 

 

After her death, I never returned. Never saw my house or pets or car or motorbike again. Too many memories and It would just have been too painful as everything was done with her...and for her/us...and without her all that was lost to me. I gave everything to her mom and stepdad. We also had an apartment in BKK. I ended that too. Moved to Jomtien.

 

 

Normally, I should have predeceased her by a couple decades easily. Life doesn't always play out as planned or by the statistics. I miss her every single day. ????

 

Staying in Thailand...yes...been here a LONG time. Just can't handle it in Kanchanaburi without her. Been making the best I can of it by living in Jomtien the past year. Also traveling often and spending time in Bangkok (where I lived for many years), Udon Thani and especially Chiang Mai. Back up to CM Monday for the third time this year. 

I feel your loss. Now serious;  My first wife died very young. It took me a long time to be able to rebuild my life with another second chance.  I currently live in CM, I built my new home, take care of a farm…I would not want to think for a moment of going through the same experience again.  But if that happened, I think I would leave this place and travel again, get to know more countries, other cultures or come back to my Country…and perhaps in that way fill the emptiness and sadness. 

[Sparktrader]

1 hour ago, Kwasaki said:

If you think 74 is old then that's sad. 

How many 200yos do you know?

[Kwasaki]

6 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

How many 200yos do you know?

Well you won't be around for me to be able to tell you when I exit my Cryosleep chamber. ????

[Stevemercer]

I sometimes wonder why there are so many farangs living in the middle of nowhere. The answer, of course, is that their wives come from that area and have family (and perhaps land).

 

I live in a town and can access most mod cons. If my wife passed on, orleft me, I doubt I would stay here or even in Thailand for that matter. It would be easy enough to find another Thai grlfriend or wife, but I've been there and done that. I don't think think I would want to go through ll that again.

[SAFETY FIRST]

11 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Could and would you live where you live without your wife?

I love where I live, been here for a long time. 

I bought the house of the plan from the developer as I knew the location was where I wanted to be forever. 

 

If the Mrs left I'd find a new one, plenty of fish in the sea. 

 

Edited May 7, 2022 by SAFETY FIRST

[Hummin]

51 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Is moving away and trying to not be reminded in any way a better choice?

 

I know it's different but I remember when I split up with my first Thai girlfriend. Many places reminded me of her. At the beginning more and later not so much anymore. And after a while it didn't hurt anymore.

 

I'm not that emotional either, but for many reasons, I could not continue living there, and I hardly see me living in Thailand if that happens. I would continue my search for a happy life other places in the world. 

 

After living in Thailand straight for 30 months, ride my motorbikes on and off road for another 100 000 kilometer or so in the same period, I do not find Thailand so exotic anymore, but I believe I love my gf, and I hope she do the same, so that's what keeps me here for the moment. If she would not be there for me anymore, I would pack up, and leave. 

 

She is the reason Thailand is exotic for me.

[Sparktrader]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I'm not that emotional either, but for many reasons, I could not continue living there, and I hardly see me living in Thailand if that happens. I would continue my search for a happy life other places in the world. 

 

After living in Thailand straight for 30 months, ride my motorbikes on and off road for another 100 000 kilometer or so in the same period, I do not find Thailand so exotic anymore, but I believe I love my gf, and I hope she do the same, so that's what keeps me here for the moment. If she would not be there for me anymore, I would pack up, and leave. 

 

She is the reason Thailand is exotic for me.

Go where?

[Sparktrader]

6 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I love where I live, been here for a long time. 

I bought the house of the plan from the developer as I knew it's where I wanted to be forever. 

 

If the Mrs left I'd find a new one, plenty of fish in the sea. 

 

Lots of bream and catfish though

[SAFETY FIRST]

4 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

Lots of bream and catfish though

Yes, I've had a few of those over the years. 

 

[Isaan sailor]

23 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

I sometimes wonder why there are so many farangs living in the middle of nowhere. The answer, of course, is that their wives come from that area and have family (and perhaps land).

 

I live in a town and can access most mod cons. If my wife passed on, orleft me, I doubt I would stay here or even in Thailand for that matter. It would be easy enough to find another Thai grlfriend or wife, but I've been there and done that. I don't think think I would want to go through ll that again.

The allure of the Thai woman would make me want to stay.  Traditional values and small hips.

[Hummin]

30 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

Go where?

Brazil, Phillippines, Mexico, Costa Rica? 

 

I know people there I could hook up with, and no need to make any plans, just let the wind lead me

[Sparktrader]

Just now, Hummin said:

Brazil, Phillippines, Mexico, Costa Rica? 

 

I know people there I could hook up with, and no need to make any plans, just let the wind lead me

Where in Phils would u go?

[Thingamabob]

We have homes in Bangkok and Rayong. I would continue to retain both in the very sad event of my wife's death.

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, Sparktrader said:

Where in Phils would u go?

I would buy an adventure motorbike and travel the country, and try to leave before I fell in love, but I'm sure I would sooner or later. 

 

Dumaguete is my next target there, and a good base for travelling around.

[Hummin]

43 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I love where I live, been here for a long time. 

I bought the house of the plan from the developer as I knew the location was where I wanted to be forever. 

 

If the Mrs left I'd find a new one, plenty of fish in the sea. 

 

I know one where the younger sister moved in not long after the funeral. 

 

I guess the family was happy with him, and did not want to loose him.

[Sparktrader]

3 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I know one where the younger sister moved in not long after the funeral. 

 

I guess the family was happy with him, and did not want to loose him.

New car replacement

[KhaoYai]

Rural village life in Thailand is not for me. Although I live in a rural area when I'm there, I don't live on a farm or in a village. I bought my house when I was single - it was where I wanted to be.  I've had a taste of living with a wife's family all around me, walking in and out of the house as if its their own, treating personal property as common etc. etc. - its not for me and I made that quite clear to my wife.  I quite like the fact that family is so important in Thailand but it goes too far for me.

 

I have a Thai friend who moved to Bangkok from Burriram many years ago, although she goes home regularly she says the same, she likes the privacy she has in Bangkok.  She built a house in Burriram and is always upset when she goes home and sees how her family have treated (wrecked) the place.

 

Some seem to be able fit into that lifestyle but they don't often seem to stay if stay if their wife dies.  I know of two guys who suffered that misfortune over the last few years - one went back to his home country, the other had kept his condo in Pattaya and the last I heard of him, that's where he was.

 

 

[Hummin]

8 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

New car replacement

Family business everyone have to help

Edited May 7, 2022 by Hummin

[Sparktrader]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Family business everyone have to help

What if she had a brother instead? 555

[Gecko123]

Very rare, if not unheard of, for guys to stick around after divorce or death of spouse in rural areas. But watching the turmoil in global financial and housing markets, can't help wondering if in the future more guys will cling to their homesteads out of necessity, even if the spouse is no longer in the picture. I love the rural lifestyle here, and if you speak the language, it's as good, if not better, than rural life anywhere, so my answer is yes.

Edited May 7, 2022 by Gecko123

[Sparktrader]

3 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Very rare, if not unheard of, for guys to stick around after divorce or death of spouse in rural areas. But watching the turmoil in global financial and housing markets, can't help wonder if in the future more guys will cling to their homesteads out of necessity even if the spouse is no longer in the picture. I love the rural lifestyle here, and if you speak the language, it's as good, if not better, than rural life anywhere, so my answer is yes.

Inflation crisis now in west. Homeless up. Mess starting.

 

 

[sungod]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Longest gap I had between one leaving, and a new one moving in was a week.

 

Serial offender

[Lacessit]

I divide my time between my GF's house in the village, and a condo. She's a good woman who looks after me very well, but 2-3 days in the village is enough for me.

 

If she were to die before me, I'd be sad. We have done a lot together. Whether I continued in the village would depend on the attitude of the rest of the family. I would be quite comfortable with walking away if that was what they wanted.

 

I don't think I'd have to worry about finding a replacement, I can think of two women right now who would be lining up to take care of me if she died. Provided I took care of them, of course.

[Tony125]

If my much younger wife passed away I would not move. Unlike I guess  a lot of you who only came over for the girl , I also enjoy Thailand for various reasons one of which is the warm weather. I would never go to live permanately on the freezing East coast of the US ever again.  Her family and I get along well (I am with her,her dad, sister,brothers,nephews/nieces right now) We get together  couple times a year (sometime with the aunts, uncles, cousins as well) and spend 3---4 days at a resort.  Photos below.

Edited May 7, 2022 by Tony125

[kingstonkid]

I live in Rangsit which is perfect close enough to Bangkok to go into the city but quieter, cheaper and friendlier.

[Tropposurfer]

Absofriginlutely ! ????????????????????

[rickudon]

Before i came to Thailand, i researched places i might like. Then i talked to a girl from Udon Thani, so researched that (Udonmap was a brilliant resource for that 14 years ago). It seemed promising, so that was my first ever visit in Thailand (I do not consider Bangkok, i do not like big cities).

It exceeded my expectations (maybe, with some experience of wilderness areas and Africa, i was prepared for the worst), and have spent 99% of my time in Udon. Didn't take long for the girls to find me, i soon had a couple of friends, and soon after, a wife and daughter. If my wife died, i would still stay in the area. It has 95% of what i want.

[OneMoreFarang]

8 hours ago, Tony125 said:

Unlike I guess  a lot of you who only came over for the girl , I also enjoy Thailand for various reasons one of which is the warm weather.

I am sure many of us also like a lot about Thailand and not just one specific girl/woman.

My question was not about moving away from Thailand but moving away from the wife's village somewhere up country.

It seems lots of guys built a house, officially owned by the wife, in a place which the wife decided. With the wife's family around. It seems few people would have moved to such a place without their wife. So it is not too difficult to understand if they don't want to live in that place anymore without their wife.

I am sure some will move on to another Thai village - with another wife.

[mrwebb8825]

Thought provoking topic and several great replies - Thanks OMF 

[grain]

22 hours ago, JayClay said:

You let it happen!

 

If you don't want to be there; move.

It's not quite that black & white. Pre-covid I wasn't spending that much time here, I was living 50-50 Australia/Thailand, then when the pandemic hit I was here and it seemed like a safe tucked away place to be, so 2+ years later I'm still here. But as the pandemic seems to be coming to an end I'm making plans to move, just have to tie up a few loose ends.