OPINION | by Rooster

 

This weekend will see the resumption of the largest Bun Bang Fai or Rocket Festival in Thailand after a two year pandemic hiatus. It’s an incredible event that provides a window into some of the crazier aspects of Thai culture. One that this columnist will say “if you haven’t been to, you haven’t been to Thailand”.

 

Head to Phayathaen Park in Yasothon, NE Thailand, to see what I mean this weekend. Today, Saturday, there will be a huge parade of dances, cultural themes and floats with music volume cranked up to the max! Free booze is available (if not required) to tourists who smile....

 

But the real action will be on Sunday when the locals - in a spirit of friendly competition - ignite rockets on huge stands sending them high into the sky to remind the rain god - Phayathaen - to send precipitation for the planting season. 

 

The rockets vary in size from small ones to “Bang Fai Meun” the 10,000 rocket to “Bang Fai Saen” the 100,000 rocket - the latter being a PVC pipe with a long bamboo tail that takes up to 15 men to carry it. These literally shake the ground before rising majestically into the hot Isaan sky - or explode unceremoniously on the launchpad.

 

Hopefully the police will be successful in getting people to stand back and the event will proceed without casualties. Over the years there have been many.

 

If you miss this week’s frivolity, never mind. Next week one will be held in Kutwa Withaya school in Kalasin on the weekend of May 21st/22nd. Here circular rockets that spiral into the sky are the stars of the show.

 

Rooster has been going to Yasothon since the 1990s. 

 

In 1998 I took a vanload of Thai and expatriate children (older ones I might add) from Harrow International. The kids - now 30 somethings - talk about it to this day. In order to get back to Bangkok on time we left a bit early - just before 4 people were killed in the crowd where we’d been standing.

 

An errant rocket headed back into the vast throng rather than harmlessly up in the air to descend on deserted rice fields. Hundreds of pairs of shoes were abandoned in the panic.

 

Driving back to Bangkok, we were blissfully unaware of what had happened back in Yasothon but the parents were frantic with worry after hearing the news first. The van broke down near Korat requiring an overnight stay there and then the 'khee' hit the 'phatlom' due to the fact that before I got to a phone nobody knew our whereabouts.

 

I vowed to my headmaster to never take children again - only teachers! A granddaughter of Rama IV who was instrumental in getting Harrow off the ground called for Rooster to be sacked. My plummy but loyal head refused.

 

In 2006 I took three dozen expatriate and Thai school teachers; they're more expendable than children. We were drunk before we got out of the soi in Don Muang. Fine upstanding “khru” that we were.

 

This was the time of Thaksin and the excesses of the era. Shortly before the September coup that ousted him. 

 

 The local district chief had decided to grovel to the PM by allowing a huge “Bung Fai Laan” - a million rocket - to be set off as a blockbuster showpiece.

 

We waited on tenterhooks at a distance we deemed safe while the massive rocket packed with homemade gunpowder was tethered to the launch pad and then ignited electronically.

 

It stalled on the pad before deciding to head over the crowd at a height of little more than a three story building. 

 

Out of sight of the shocked crowd it then went downtown and slammed into a “pa yang” or puncture repair hut at a gas station.

 

The owner was fortunately in the loo at the time so no one was killed that year.

 

Villagers compete in teams to make the best rockets. But if you fail then you are destined to be thrown in the mud.

 

One of the funniest and craziest things I have ever seen in Thailand, where the elderly are still given great respect, was seeing an old grannie on a losing team being hurled into the mud amid much laughter (and drunkenness). An image in my mind that still reminds me how much I love my adopted homeland.

 

Other smaller festivals go on in the amphers of Isaan if you are unable to make it to Yasothon or Kalasin - you’ll be glad you did!

 

Cultural affairs in a busy week of news on ASEAN NOW were tame by comparison, but no less revealing in a country where the “Amazing Thailand” moniker is richly deserved.

 

Top of the list was the continuing furor surrounding “Phra Bida” who Rooster got to call the “Holy Father” - anything to annoy religious zealots.

 

This cult leader was advising that his disciples consume his pus, phlegm, urine, feces and skin scrapings. Mmm…yummy! A bit like Catholics and their blood and wafers. 

 

The reason? Good health rather than spiritual enlightenment. And a tidy profit on packaged products for the faithful.

 

Vast vats of fermenting fish were found covered in maggots. What my dear departed mother-in-law would have called “saep iilee” (delicious).

 

The Holy Father was arrested for encroachment then after being bailed he turned up in Phu Kradung, Loei. The district chief was determined that the “filthy faithful” leave his mountains. 

 

White bearded Phra Bida (real name Thawee Nanra, 74) is only the latest cultist loony. Years ago the sheeple stretched back for miles as they visited a boy they thought was holy. That went on for months as people continued to search for a lottery win….

 

Funny how it all boils down to money in the end. 

 

Anyway it made a change from the antics of “monks behaving badly”. One “camp” phra was filmed having sex in the toilets though it wasn’t in the temple. Thank goodness for that.

 

Keep up to date with all things Thailand - Join our daily ASEAN NOW Thailand Newsletter - Click to subscribe

 

Others got busted for Yaba or died at the wheel of their pick-ups, seemingly not protected by their beliefs. 

 

The Thai media is obsessed with this nonsense. ASEAN NOW follows suit; we thank you for your clicks…..

 

Ladyboys were in the news everywhere; post-pandemic it seemed almost comforting that they were robbing so many Indians in Pattaya (at least to the forum faithful who lap up such stories that admirably suit their Asian bashing agenda). 

 

Though I will concede that insurance scams might be more likely than the loss of their necklaces. Who could forget years ago when travellers’ check scams in India provided many westerners with funds to travel ever longer.

 

Arrested in Bangkok were two ladyboys who had been drugging and robbing tourists in their hotel rooms after going back for a little “how’s yer father” (rather appropriate in their case). 

 

Back in March a Kuwaiti fireman who was with his ailing mother on medical tourism, had invited the pair back to his hotel before waking up minus 200,000 baht. 

 

One of the miscreants admitted to a string of other thefts including those of two Brits and a Chinese man. 

 

A thread on the forum entitled “Why do men like ladyboys?” quickly amassed hundreds of comments. 

 

I’d advise giving them a wide berth on the streets of tourist areas - there is a plague of dodgy ones on upper Sukhumvit. But be fair. They are not all thieves and there are some wonderful transgenders in all levels of Thai society.

 

My local McDonald’s has a lovely one as manager. Efficient and caring - and drop dead gorgeous - though I think I’ll eschew rather than chew on a “Happy Meal”.

 

One story suggested that foreigners who want to improve their golf should date a caddy. I’m still looking for a Scrabble groupie who’ll help me with my anagrams.

 

in international news the jailbreak by US prison guard Vicky White - on her final day in the job - and murderer Casey White reached its denouement with the guard killing herself. She had sold all her things and told staff she was heading to the beach in retirement. Her lover faces execution.

 

North Korea admitted their first Covid death and Bongbong Marcos won the presidential election in the Philippines calling for “unity” rather than more shoes for his mum. 

 

I wonder when a Shinawatra will be in charge in Thailand again?

 

In sports news Australian golfing great Greg Norman tried to defend Saudi Arabia over the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi in Turkey. He said that “everyone makes mistakes”. Disgraceful.

 

Meanwhile, yet another brave and influential journo was shot - allegedly by Israeli security forces - in Gaza. Al Jazeeera’s Shireen Abu Akleh was a household name in the region. 

 

Hearing the name Gaza always takes Rooster back to the UK's Spitting Image. In a great spoof the Israeli leader at the time appeared on Mastermind and responded to his name.

 

Then Magnus asked: Occupation?

 

"West Bank and Gaza".

 

Back in Thailand the press was full of stories as PM Prayuth and ASEAN leaders met Uncle Joe in the White House. 

 

Earlier Uncle Too had called his people gullible over the Holy Father affair. While that may be true of some, they are more clued into his 8 year antics than he thinks in his ivory tower.

 

Health minister Anutin chimed in with crass jokes about mental health. Rooster used to crack one liners about “visiting Sri Thanya” as a means of distracting roadside cops from fining me for not having a licence. 

 

Years later I went to the famous mental hospital with my son; great, caring staff who helped me understand mental health issues better and stopped me talking about "loony bins".

 

Maybe Anutin should pay a visit - they may be able to point him in the right direction. 

 

Anutin continued to bang on about the need to wear masks, slyly mentioning foreigners again and doing nothing, as is his wont.

 

Please end the mask mandates now, get the bars and clubs fully reopened and prepare for the next high season. Enough is enough. 

 

I’m thinking of burning my mask, just like feminists used to burn their bras. The kids said they’d put me on TikTok making that personal statement.

 

I declined. Another TikTok post - that should not be commented upon here - saw the armed forces tell soldiers not to have anything to do with Lazada after an alleged slight to handicapped people and a certain institution. 

 

Car seats for children under 6 will be mandatory in September. Funny but last week I had just taken mine out of the back of the Civic - my daughter can use a regular seatbelt and is 6 tomorrow. 

 

All children - and adults - should be properly secured in cars. If you can’t afford a car seat then you shouldn’t have children in a car. Period. I have always been strict about this. 

 

Whether the RTP enforces this remains to be seen. Sadly, I expect a watered down version if there is any enforcement at all.

 

Now obsessed by car seats (Thais use those words from English) the Thai media jumped on the first "miracle" survival by a 5 year old who was not secured in one in a deadly smash that killed his father. 

 

It won’t be long before the first child in a car seat has a miracle escape - with the serial number of the seat used to win the lottery, of course. 

 

New car seats can be bought for as little as 2,000 baht (less second hand) but it is high time that foreign manufacturers are given tax relief on imports; expecting Thais to pay 20K up for the better ones that are a fraction of that cost in the west is nothing short of criminal. 

 

Or are the people just too gullible to care, Uncle?

 

Methinks not.

 

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright  ASEAN NOW 2022-05-14

 

- Cigna offers a range of visa-compliant plans that meet the minimum requirement of medical treatment, including COVID-19, up to THB 3m. For more information on all expat health insurance plans click here.

 

Get your business in front of millions of customers who read ASEAN NOW with an interest in Thailand every month - email [email protected] for more information

How many folks will be killed by the exploding rockets or ones that go awry and crash into the crowds....

53 minutes ago, webfact said:

One that this columnist will say “if you haven’t been to, you haven’t been to Thailand”.

I've been living here for 16 years, and I haven't been here yet...

7 minutes ago, khunPer said:

I've been living here for 16 years, and I haven't been here yet...

I went to one in Chiang Mai last year.

Fairly impressive (Wat Doi Tairn end of every February).

 

Watched one from the house I shared in Nong Saeng, Udon Province, They launched over the top of a Klong, and many never went to far up before splashing down, but to the crowd it was spectacular, and of course many were very intoxicated.

1 minute ago, ThailandRyan said:

Watched one from the house I shared in Nong Saeng, Udon Province, They launched over the top of a Klong, and many never went to far up before splashing down, but to the crowd it was spectacular, and of course many were very intoxicated.

Well as I am sure you are aware that the spectacle is not so much the rocket displays but the significant gambling that goes on as to whose rocket will achieve the greatest altitude. Significant money changes hands.

 

Been living here almost 40 years and it has never changed, nor I doubt it ever will.

I have not and will not go to one as the events appear to me to be unsafe.

 

Saying that an old neighbour of mine, now deceased, tapped me up for some money so he could buy materials to build his rockets. Being kind but knowing it was really the wrong thing to do I gave him a small amount.  He came back later in the day with 4 fingers missing of one hand.  The next year the same thing, he came to me again because I was a soft touch. He came back in the afternoon with his left hand missing this time.  So despite his disabilities he came again the next year and guess what ? he came back in an ambulance as his friends rocket had exploded and blown his leg off.   The next year was simply a repeat by which time enough was enough so I told him to hop it ????

Great news about fantastic festivals - this weekend its at Kutwa in Kalasin. Next week, the biggest is at Phanom  Phrai in Roi  et..Amazing Thailand!

Yes the Yasothon Festival is exiting indeed.

However, it's extremely dangerous and only a few cops around busy in chatting with the locals.

You should be aware that people stuff and fill the rockets with gun powder - mixed by themselves - in front of you.

So watch it from a kind of distance If you love yourself.????

 

The Balloon festival at Singha Park in Chiang Rai is a more decorous affair.

Can't find the video of a Thai catherine wheel /helicopter firework the size of a house, dammit.

this one? 

 

Thanks for giving the name of the poster this time.

It gave those with discerning taste a chance to save 10 minutes of our lives by swerving this drivel.

13 hours ago, Bday Prang said:

this one? 

 

Yes, that one, thanks. Really spectacular.

23 hours ago, webfact said:

Head to Phayathaen Park in Yasothon, NE Thailand, to see what I mean this weekend. Today, Saturday, there will be a huge parade of dances, cultural themes and floats with music volume cranked up to the max! Free booze is available (if not required) to tourists who smile....

I couldn't think of anything worse, deafening music surrounded by pished up people for  whole weekend. And risking death buy badly home made and aimed rockets. I certainty would not put my kids in danger of ruining their hearing or worse.   

4 hours ago, Red Forever said:

Thanks for giving the name of the poster this time.

It gave those with discerning taste a chance to save 10 minutes of our lives by swerving this drivel.

As I told you last week, the name of the poster was right there at the top of the article, just as it is this week. Seems you have a bad memory to go with your cynicism.

A few years back there was a vid of a flying saucer at one of these festivals that actually flew, not all that high or far, but fly it did.  It made me consider going to one but never got around to it. 

It's the odd things like this that betray an underlying madness in the culture, everywhere.  Like the guy somewhere in the back of beyond in Malaysia who started a religion that worships a giant teapot (I think it's sectarian sarcasm) or the Thai guy who uses a solar dish to roast chickens. 

 

 

I always tell people who are visiting Thailand for the 1st time, to keep in mind one very valuable concept. This place is NOT a foreign country. It is a distant planet! As long as you realize that, the zaniness of it all can be alot of fun. 

 

And for me one of my favorite parts is the NPF. The non predictability factor. Life in the US was rather boring. Very predictable. That can be stifling for some of us. Not here! I love that. 

7 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

And for me one of my favorite parts is the NPF. The non predictability factor. Life in the US was rather boring. Very predictable. That can be stifling for some of us. Not here! I love that. 

I own a home in the US and am very comfortable. The most boring place on gods green earth. I'll never sell because it is pretty nice to have a place if thing go bonkers. But, it is the most boring, and worst place I have ever lived since I have been traveling the world.

14 hours ago, garyk said:

I own a home in the US and am very comfortable. The most boring place on gods green earth. I'll never sell because it is pretty nice to have a place if thing go bonkers. But, it is the most boring, and worst place I have ever lived since I have been traveling the world.

Totally agree. The US has some things going for it, but life there can be stiflingly boring and predictable. And the locals are just not as much fun these days. But, you should feel fortunate you had the vision to buy something at some point. Nice to have the flexibility, for sure. For those of us who do not own, and are not quite wealthy, it would never be an option to move back there. Not that I want to. Just about options and choices. 

A Bit late here Rooster !!! ? But well I was Busy with the Great Stock Market ???? “Educational Moments” last week !!!) … Amongst other things of course !!! @#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@ …

 

…Yes, I have been Banging on to my Family, and being seriously Po Pooed, and side Lined !!! for Years trying to get them to use Car seats for Children in our Car !!! ... to the point, where I just gave up, So well JAH ? ... Just Another Hassle ... TITW This is the world !!! …. NOT just Thailand. ... 

 

… But Well, back in 2019 and Pree when I was doing this, the wife used to have the babies, riding on her Laps in the front Seat !!! Like F' (That word !!! ???) .... I explained about them going through the wind screen, and landing on the road to be killed by other Vehicles if I had an accident, and they had made it out there alive in the first Place !!! …. But WAS severely chastised for "Foreigner Speaking Bad" ... Like never see the Tiger in the Jungle ? Right ??? …. or these days the child killed sitting in the front seat without any restraint at all !!!

 

…. But well I persevered, and I got the Wife to wear a seat belt, sighting that to kill the child by crushing him against the Dash Board would not look good for her !!! ... ….. (Apart from the 500B was it back then Fine for not wearing one !!! and they DID enforce that … Even though she blamed me for talking to the Cops when they pulled us over any way !!!  ….. But the Children STILL refused to wear seat belts, even only back in 2019 !!! ... But ...

 

BUT !!! When I got back here in January this Year !!! I found that I just had to say "Seat Belt" and the one in the front Put it ON … or he would even tell me !!! … and by Rule of Rod for sure I suspect !!! … So some time in the last 2 Years I think that the Thai school system, or the Government TV stations HAVE got through to them, about Seat Belts and Road Safety !!! …. As well their attitudes seem to have just Totally Changed !!! 

 

… Though well the child in the front seat only can have the lap sash on, as they are sooo short for the shoulder straps, (It would probably take their heads off !!!) …. but well at least it is a GOOD start (Though I am not so sure that just the Lap Strap would keep them in for too long, in a serious head on collision ??? … Though well it WOULD probably slow things down, and stop them getting thrown out, and on to the road. ??? I am hoping.

 

And well I have got them to use them in the back seat a bit to also and at least have them out now, from under the seat, and operational !!! … So well, Great Advancement !!! I do think. ... and the Thai's CAN do things, …. and do them well !!! … When they want to !!!

 

So a child almost 5 ??? and a recalcitrant Wife ?????? I will consider looking at Car Seats !!! When / If I can. !!! ... Exceptionally Good Things for Children !!!

 

(Putting, Stronger Steel mesh on our Doors !!! … To stop the Grand Daughters Bloody Cats getting in a Night !!! … sometimes with very smelly consequences … Like contemplating Cats in Outer Space ??? … a “Boot Launch” of course, you could say !!! …. Without a space suits of course, ….. now being my current Problem !!! Yes !!! … This Is Thailand !!! )