How Do You Deal with your Feelings of Jealousy?

[Adumbration]

No good apply western thinking to Thai problems.

 

Last time this happened to me was more than a decade ago.

 

I am in a good long term relationship now.

 

But when (note that I did not use if) it happens again I will deal with it in the same manner as I did back then.

 

1. Throw all of her possessions out in the street.

2. Change locks and alarms codes on house.

3. Go for 2 month surf trip to Indonesia

[rumak]

4 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

I find they don't seem to consider their future. Usually just a gormless open mouthed stare when you discuss future or plans...usually a future for her well being and in her interest. My one now has a son as well who is a great little kid. Whole different life to what he had before stuck and unwanted in a village. Well fed and educated. Super appreciative and helpful little guy too. he knows and appreciates what he has and that's enough for me...unlike his mother who seems to feel like she should be getting much more and is doing me a favor living with me making my life a misery. Seems to be engaged in a never ending mindless battle / competition with me to what end I have no idea. I keep telling her their is no "win" or prize at the end of this for you. You are just going to end up homeless and scratching around for 10 baht to buy mama noodles, wondering why you threw away a chance at a decent life and a secure future.  Massive chip on her shoulder impossible to discuss anything without a screaming match. Must be a self defense mechanism they learn.

and......... you are still with her ??     OK   ????

[Lacessit]

12 minutes ago, jerrymahoney said:

You have practice at tossing girls out?

 

No, have not needed to. I'm actually very easy to get along with, provided certain lines are not crossed. Perhaps some posters on ASEAN would disagree.

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, jerrymahoney said:

Yes every farang who moves to Thailand is a Prince Charming.

Your desire to be argumentative, sarcastic, and combative, seems to compel you to refuse and reject any point of view, which is contrary from your own. I love debating, as long it is based on a foundation of truth and reality. I have noticed this with many other replies you have made, not just mine. Have you ever noticed or acknowledged that?

A fascinating psychological persona, you have! 

Edited May 22, 2022 by spidermike007

[spidermike007]

25 minutes ago, rumak said:

i did have a few , or maybe more than a few,  relationships that gave me the initial high and then the eventual letdown.    Like drugs.    Finally I have someone that is.... as you say.... emotionally consistent.

 

I hate to say it ,  but not many guys seem to figure it out .  Or,  present to the ladies a person who is desirable for something other than monetary value.    If that is the case...... no problem.  But I do often cringe when i see so often guys who are definitely not getting their money's worth

Valid points. I see it often here. And back in the US, for that matter. I think there are self esteem issues at play here. I do believe that some guys seem to believe they are not worthy of an outstanding or excellent woman. Back there, it is hard to find a great woman, unless you are content with one who is our age, which I am definitely not. I tried that, and it did not work for a dozen valid reasons. Here? There are alot of options. Alot of good women. There is no reason to be with a subpar woman here, unless that is what you think you deserve. 

[spidermike007]

31 minutes ago, rumak said:

i did have a few , or maybe more than a few,  relationships that gave me the initial high and then the eventual letdown.    Like drugs.    Finally I have someone that is.... as you say.... emotionally consistent.

 

I hate to say it ,  but not many guys seem to figure it out .  Or,  present to the ladies a person who is desirable for something other than monetary value.    If that is the case...... no problem.  But I do often cringe when i see so often guys who are definitely not getting their money's worth

Valid points. I see it often here. And back in the US, for that matter. I think there are self esteem issues at play. I do believe that some guys seem to believe they are not worthy of an outstanding or excellent woman. Back there, it is hard to find a great woman, unless you are content with one who is our age, which I am definitely not. I tried that, and it did not work for a dozen valid reasons.

 

Here? There are alot of options. Alot of good women. There is no reason to be with a subpar woman here, unless that is what you think you deserve. I know I deserve a good woman, and fortunately I found a wonderful gal, who has my back, wakes up with a smile on her face, and is delightful all day long. She has a big heart, is very smart, pretty, healthy, and her family are good and honorable people. What more can you ask for in life?

Edited May 22, 2022 by spidermike007

[Hummin]

14 minutes ago, Adumbration said:

No good apply western thinking to Thai problems.

 

Last time this happened to me was more than a decade ago.

 

I am in a good long term relationship now.

 

But when (note that I did not use if) it happens again I will deal with it in the same manner as I did back then.

 

1. Throw all of her possessions out in the street.

2. Change locks and alarms codes on house.

3. Go for 2 month surf trip to Indonesia

This is your solution to every problem in life.
 

As long you can pack up all necessary belongings on a motorbike and leave everything behind, you are truly a free human being. I guess surfing will do the same job, except sit and wait for the perfect wave, I do not have patience for that. 

 

. 

[clokwise]

12 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Mark my words:  You cannot escape it.  Even if you try, the woman you are with will always pique your feelings of jealousy, just when you least expect it.

My Thai wife and I have been married over 20 years. We sorted out all the jealousy stuff pretty easily. After 15 happy years together we both decided together to have an open marriage. Her idea, BTW. It works great. We're not swingers, or wife-swappers, or really not even into anything kinky, we each just find a new partner now and then. No jealousy at all, in fact we are genuinely happy for each other when they get laid. We first set down some rules, and we talk about our experiences all the time and always check in to make sure there's no ill feelings or questions. We kiss each other before going on a date, and again when we return. As we're in Thailand, it's not super easy to find dates. ENM is not well known in mainstream Thai society, because people usually just cheat on their spouse, and it's hard for people to wrap their heads around this concept.

[Kenny202]

37 minutes ago, rumak said:

i did have a few , or maybe more than a few,  relationships that gave me the initial high and then the eventual letdown.    Like drugs.    Finally I have someone that is.... as you say.... emotionally consistent.

 

I hate to say it ,  but not many guys seem to figure it out .  Or,  present to the ladies a person who is desirable for something other than monetary value.    If that is the case...... no problem.  But I do often cringe when i see so often guys who are definitely not getting their money's worth

I think what most of these women fail to realize is most blokes are simple creatures. Full belly and empty balls and most are happy and wont stray. Peaceful uncomplicated life without stress. They further don't seem to realize it's the games and drama they put on...born out of fear / jealousy that actually drives the bloke away, often into the arms of another. "He get udder lady". "He boxing me" How many times have you heard that? lol. After a month or two of her BS you are not surprised her last bloke was on the hunt for another woman. When they tell me their last bloke got another woman. I always ask them why hahaha. What was wrong with you? Usually open mouth stare, like they hadn't actually thought of "the why". I mean of you went to a job interview and told them your last employer gave you the flick...what are they gonna be thinking?

Edited May 22, 2022 by Kenny202

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, clokwise said:

My Thai wife and I have been married over 20 years. We sorted out all the jealousy stuff pretty easily. After 15 happy years together we both decided together to have an open marriage. Her idea, BTW. It works great. We're not swingers, or wife-swappers, or really not even into anything kinky, we each just find a new partner now and then. No jealousy at all, in fact we are genuinely happy for each other when they get laid. We first set down some rules, and we talk about our experiences all the time and always check in to make sure there's no ill feelings or questions. We kiss each other before going on a date, and again when we return. As we're in Thailand, it's not super easy to find dates. ENM is not well known in mainstream Thai society, because people usually just cheat on their spouse, and it's hard for people to wrap their heads around this concept.

And also a good solution when time comes when one do not need or can perform as much as wanted anymore. No need to brake up a good relationship and friendship that can last a lifetime. 

[clokwise]

Just now, Hummin said:

And also a good solution when time comes when one do not need or can perform as much as wanted anymore. No need to brake up a good relationship and friendship that can last a lifetime. 

Exactly. I'm in my late 50s starting to 'decline', she's in her mid 40s and probably at her sexual peak. Plus, she is smoking hot and she knows it. I love my wife, she is my best friend, how could I deny her happiness? If she wants to enjoy sex with other people, I want her to go for it while she is still desirable. Enjoy her life. And I also get something fun out of our agreement, so it's all good.

 

[Hummin]

13 minutes ago, clokwise said:

Exactly. I'm in my late 50s starting to 'decline', she's in her mid 40s and probably at her sexual peak. Plus, she is smoking hot and she knows it. I love my wife, she is my best friend, how could I deny her happiness? If she wants to enjoy sex with other people, I want her to go for it while she is still desirable. Enjoy her life. And I also get something fun out of our agreement, so it's all good.

 

I had to google ENM, but yes, mutual respect and understanding is the key for a long healthy relationship. Anyway not for everybody, but maybe someone should think about it before they go in to a relationship with to big age gap and be fair about it. 
 

I might fancy swinging in my fantasy, but in real life, not so sure, but again, Icwould let my gf have a side kick if I could not deliver anymore, as I hope she  would grant me the same. 

Edited May 22, 2022 by Hummin

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, clokwise said:

she's in her mid 40s and probably at her sexual peak. Plus, she is smoking hot and she knows it.

Sounds unlikely.

[mikebike]

"How Do You Deal with your Feelings of Jealousy?" Easy. I have never felt jealous. Jealous of what? Why? 

[Grecian]

8 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Me too......

He just robbed a gold shop and is in jail. 

What seems, and what is, may not be the same. 

Link to media coverage pls.

[jerrymahoney]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Your desire to be argumentative, sarcastic, and combative, seems to compel you to refuse and reject any point of view, which is contrary from your own. I love debating, as long it is based on a foundation of truth and reality. I have noticed this with many other replies you have made, not just mine. Have you ever noticed or acknowledged that?

A fascinating psychological persona, you have! 

Well part of that is because my comments are short and I do not bloviate.

 

From the movie The Sting ( Best Picture Oscar 1973)

 

Johnny Hooker: I gave him the breakout just like you said.

Henry Gondorff: And?

Johnny Hooker: 'S good. He threatened to kill me.

Henry Gondorff: Hell, kid, they don't do that, you know you're not getting to 'em.

Edited May 22, 2022 by jerrymahoney

[Kenny202]

21 minutes ago, jerrymahoney said:

Well part of that is because my comments are short and I do not bloviate.

 

From the movie The Sting ( Best Picture Oscar 1973)

 

Johnny Hooker: I gave him the breakout just like you said.

Henry Gondorff: And?

Johnny Hooker: 'S good. He threatened to kill me.

Henry Gondorff: Hell, kid, they don't do that, you know you're not getting to 'em.

Looks like that's all cleared up ????????????

 

[Adumbration]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I know I deserve a good woman, and fortunately I found a wonderful gal, who has my back, wakes up with a smile on her face, and is delightful all day long. She has a big heart, is very smart, pretty, healthy, and her family are good and honorable people. What more can you ask for in life?

Sex that stops you in your tracks.

[Kenny202]

Just now, Adumbration said:

Sex that stops you in your tracks.

Oh yeah. Went to the mountain with my first one here. Very sad to me that I could search the ends of the earth and never find someone half as good. Unfortunately she was a psychopath and one of the cruel ironies of life seems to be the better the sex the more mentally unhinged they are.

[Adumbration]

2 hours ago, clokwise said:

Exactly. I'm in my late 50s starting to 'decline', she's in her mid 40s and probably at her sexual peak. Plus, she is smoking hot and she knows it. I love my wife, she is my best friend, how could I deny her happiness? If she wants to enjoy sex with other people, I want her to go for it while she is still desirable. Enjoy her life. And I also get something fun out of our agreement, so it's all good.

 

Hmmm mid forties.  Fortunately smoking hot is a relative term.

[Adumbration]

2 hours ago, clokwise said:

Exactly. I'm in my late 50s starting to 'decline', she's in her mid 40s and probably at her sexual peak. Plus, she is smoking hot and she knows it. I love my wife, she is my best friend, how could I deny her happiness? If she wants to enjoy sex with other people, I want her to go for it while she is still desirable. Enjoy her life. And I also get something fun out of our agreement, so it's all good.

 

Hmmm mid forties.  Fortunately smoking hot is a relative term.

 

And what exactly to you get out of this agreement....Herpes?

[Kenny202]

Just now, Adumbration said:

Hmmm mid forties.  Fortunately smoking hot is a relative term.

Plenty of smoking hot 40 and 50 yo here. Man had a little thing in Bangkok once, turned out she was 53 yo. Tiny, incredible body and went off like a firecracker. Put a bit of lippy and some lingerie and they come up a million bucks 

[1FinickyOne]

11 hours ago, bert bloggs said:

You should have been with me in the 60s in London,was friends with a very well known pop singer ,went to more partys than i can remember same as the sex ,so much so young, wow i was so lucky,right place right time.

the 60s weren't just in London

[1FinickyOne]

 

Globs, it's like a timeline... you might have been jealous during your long relation with C - - but when you are involved w/F - you have already long forgotten the jealous part of the relationship w/C.... 

 

A[----]B -- C [---------------] D---- E-F[---------] G

 

_______________________________________________

[bert bloggs]

1 hour ago, 1FinickyOne said:

the 60s weren't just in London

Oh i know,but i was so lucky coming from a small town to London where i had been offered a job and by pure chance fell in with the " in" crowd and mixed with people who were famous and would become famous , at the time it was a dream come true.

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, bert bloggs said:

Oh i know,but i was so lucky coming from a small town to London where i had been offered a job and by pure chance fell in with the " in" crowd and mixed with people who were famous and would become famous , at the time it was a dream come true.

most of the famous people I knew were kind of self-important jerks...

[bert bloggs]

7 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

most of the famous people I knew were kind of self-important jerks...

In those days it was not like now,where they have bodyguards ,and an enterage of staff,for the most part they were pretty much normal, one pop star i was friendly with ,lived in the house next to the place i lived,cant imagine what they are like these days.

[Kenny202]

7 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

most of the famous people I knew were kind of self-important jerks...

I had a job in Australia doing home service work in one of the expensive areas of Sydney. met dozens of personalities and it was always amazing how different they were to their on screen persona. Most of the ones who came across as down to earth characters were stuck up and rude, and the ones who seemed like that on TV were actually really nice natural people. 

[spidermike007]

19 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

Except that doesn't work when it's her house.

And that is precisely why you never move into her house. Strategy prevents such a mindless move. 

[simon43]

On 5/22/2022 at 8:27 AM, BritManToo said:

I don't care what they do when out of my sight, but all/any babies will be DNA tested.

I had a vasectomy years ago, and made sure everyone knew about it.  Nowadays, it's a 'bonus' point >> no condom required and no chance of a pregnancy ????