Dear Friends,

 

Here in Thailand, as far as I know, there seems to be many unmarried women, or married and divorced women, or just single women, who offer accommodations, both big and small, to Farang types. Most are just guesthouses which they provide, and they run the gamut in size, amenities, and comfort.

 

One thing that most seem to have in common, from my experience, when run by a single woman, is that the owner is more likely to get in your business.  She is often more likely to be a hen, and you the henpecked.

 

I do not want to write too much on this topic.

 

Instead to say that I have had landladies of many sorts, both here in Thailand, and also in other countries nearby, even one on an island.

 

Whether you might like your landlady or not, the single landlady, unmarried landlady, is just a very lonely woman, in my opinion.

And, being lonely, and having nothing other than her guesthouse to keep her company, then it has been my experience that this kind of woman might be looking to worm her way into your life, in an uncomfortable way.

 

She might even think of her guests as her "family", for example, and she might eventually become so intrusive that you will need to move out.

 

I could write pages, and pages, and pages about this topic. But, I will not.  And you will be relieved, this time, knowing that I will keep this short.

 

Let me just say that, in one situation, I actually had some landlady bring me flower arrangements, and leave them on my desk, several times each week.

 

She did not send me roses.  Her arrangements were mostly baby's breath, lilies, ferns, and such, as she had been studying Japanese flower arranging.

Sort of something like this image, but not exactly...

So, anyway, one thing led to the next.

Before I knew it, she was in my bed.

Not good for me, for sure.

 

But, I did enjoy her flower, many times, until, after three years, we parted ways.  I was the worse for it.  I had wasted too much time on her flower.

 

On the opposite side of the spectrum, there is the unmarried landlady who engenders in you thoughts that, maybe, only a Raskolnikov might feel.

 

I am not saying that I have ever had the urge to go as far with my landlady as did good old Raskolnikov, of course.

But, sometimes, I really wish I had.

 

 

Still, what I am saying is:  Never live in a building which is run by a landlady who is single, for whatever reason.

 

If she loves you, she will drive you mad.

And, if she is just lonely, she will drive you nuts.

 

Next time, I will deal with a married couple. But, first, I will check to make sure that they are happily married.  Because, otherwise, you are likely to have the wife in your bed, while the husband is below floors, asleep.  This has DEFINITELYL happened to me.  And, it is NOT fun.

 

Anyway, my friends, I think it is better to buy property than to rent, for this reason.

 

And, I am sure that many of you have experienced what I have experienced, just renting rooms, suites, and flats, from lonely landladies.

 

Am I right?

 

Best regards,

Globule

 

 

 

Jesus...

12 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

I do not want to write too much on this topic ...

I will keep this short.

19,000 paragraphs later...

By the way....

 

I do not especially appreciate stories written on the Farang Pub which are not true.

 

Exaggeration and prevarication is just not interesting, not to mention a waste of everyone's time.

 

Most of us wish to know that what we are reading is something which actually happened to one of our members.

 

And so, here is what happened to me:

 

I innocently rented a condo in a building owned by a couple who had a second condo just below me.

There was a passageway which led from the flat below up to my flat, with a steel door locked from the side of the landlady. I had no way of locking this door from my side.

As time progressed, and as this landlady got to know me better, she would sneak up to my condo, and we would read Mark Twain together, and laugh and laugh.

Eventually, after she had groomed me enough, and after much laughter, she got me into a position where she was able to kiss me.

As weeks progressed, we progressed from just kissing to many more intimate acts.

 

And this, my friends, is how I wasted almost FIVE years of my life on this unhappily married landlady.

 

Let this be a warning to you, my friends.

 

I do not wish to go into much detail here, although, I guarantee you my story of woe is rather interesting.

 

====

This is my story of having had my landlady make me her Loverboy.

 

======

 

I also have a story of a landlady, also unmarried, who almost made me a Raskolnikov.

 

=======

 

Please be aware of this dynamic before you get drawn in, too far.

 

And, it is always best to stay at the Marriott, on a long-term contract, for this very reason, if you can afford it.

 

The manager at the Marriott will never mess with you, or, if she does, then she will get fired.

 

 

 

My one is about 70. She doesn't make me feel anything. She just wants her money.

Pass me another tenant, this one's split.......

For several years, I DID have an unmarried and very attractive landlady. Khun Mam even told me once that I was very “handsome” when I smiled. That motivated me to smile more. She’s about 45 and I see her in the building most every day, even though I don’t rent from her. She has a couple of sons and no boyfriend. The rumor is that she’s become kind of a manhater. She had several cheaters in a row, so she gave up the game. I never had the stones to ask her out but the thought was certainly a pleasant one. ????

1 hour ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Am I right?

yes about landladies, no about keeping it short.

Regarding Raskolnikov,

 

Did Raskolnikov actually commit a crime?

 

Or, did he provide a service to all future renters of rooms, such as we?

 

Any time your landlady gives you a hard time....

 

Maybe...

 

Just mention Dostoyevsky's "Crime and Punishment".

 

 

Maybe then, she will be quicker to provide the service which you deserve.

 

You pay your rent.

And, you expect good service, as is due you.

No need to socialize too much.

Keep it impersonal, and demand what you pay for.

 

Just a suggestion.

2 hours ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Jesus...

wept!

20 minutes ago, Regyai said:

wept!

"Jesus wept"

 

Difficult to find a shorter verse than this.

 

 

 

Maybe he is weeping about his housing situation.

Maybe he is weeping because he fell in love with his landlady, and now he has been evicted.

Maybe he is weeping because he was charged too much for a plumbing problem.

 

As Maslow said, housing is key to self-actualization.

 

Poor old Jesus never did find a home.

 

Instead, he travelled from town to town, and lived rent free.

 

In return for a bed, he provided fish, loaves of bread, and plenty of wine.

 

Also, for some landladies, he provided the feeling of eternal life.

Jesus, being the nomad he was, turned out to be a good tenant.

Never paying rent, he cured the infirm, instead.

 

I once lived in Kyoto with a cult.

 

In the evenings, the members would come to my room and lay hands on me.

 

I would pretend to be asleep, and I came to enjoy the ritual.

 

Finally, they kicked me out for being a faker.

Yes, I was a faker, but not a fakir, at the very least.

I did pay rent.

 

11 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

By the way....

 

I do not especially appreciate stories written on the Farang Pub which are not true.

 

Exaggeration and prevarication is just not interesting, not to mention a waste of everyone's time.

 

Most of us wish to know that what we are reading is something which actually happened to one of our members.

 

And so, here is what happened to me:

 

I innocently rented a condo in a building owned by a couple who had a second condo just below me.

There was a passageway which led from the flat below up to my flat, with a steel door locked from the side of the landlady. I had no way of locking this door from my side.

As time progressed, and as this landlady got to know me better, she would sneak up to my condo, and we would read Mark Twain together, and laugh and laugh.

Eventually, after she had groomed me enough, and after much laughter, she got me into a position where she was able to kiss me.

As weeks progressed, we progressed from just kissing to many more intimate acts.

 

And this, my friends, is how I wasted almost FIVE years of my life on this unhappily married landlady.

 

Let this be a warning to you, my friends.

 

I do not wish to go into much detail here, although, I guarantee you my story of woe is rather interesting.

 

====

This is my story of having had my landlady make me her Loverboy.

 

======

 

I also have a story of a landlady, also unmarried, who almost made me a Raskolnikov.

 

=======

 

Please be aware of this dynamic before you get drawn in, too far.

 

And, it is always best to stay at the Marriott, on a long-term contract, for this very reason, if you can afford it.

 

The manager at the Marriott will never mess with you, or, if she does, then she will get fired.

 

 

 

"You do not want to write too much on this topic?"

I'll keep it brief for you, it's a bad idea to do it on your own doorstep.

I remember a hotel receptionist in Myanmar who could have messed with me anytime she wanted, I could not have said no.

12 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

I do not want to write too much on this topic.

 

Yet you wrote paragraphs and paragraphs. Mate you have to get a hobby.

12 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

I do not want to write too much on this topic.

Should have stopped here.

Ummm, maybe just enjoy the flower.  Maybe a few times.  Then, depending on the sweetness of the flower and its pollen, and your individual appetite for both,  either set down roots, or de-root and uproot yourself and move to a different garden.  Botanically speaking of course.   

11 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

By the way....

 

I do not especially appreciate stories written on the Farang Pub which are not true.

 

Exaggeration and prevarication is just not interesting, not to mention a waste of everyone's time.

 

Most of us wish to know that what we are reading is something which actually happened to one of our members.

 

And so, here is what happened to me:

 

I innocently rented a condo in a building owned by a couple who had a second condo just below me.

There was a passageway which led from the flat below up to my ...

 

 

 

You forgot to add to the beginning:

 

Dear Penthouse Forum,

 

I never believed that this would happen to me...

13 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

"You do not want to write too much on this topic?"

I'll keep it brief for you, it's a bad idea to do it on your own doorstep.

I remember a hotel receptionist in Myanmar who could have messed with me anytime she wanted, I could not have said no.

Maybe best to just buy the Sands in Vegas, hole up there, and then grow your nails long as possible, same as Hughs, until you are finally carted off. 

 

Hughs loved guesthouse living so much that it was the death of him. 

 

Let this be a warning to most of us. 

23 minutes ago, marin said:

Yet you wrote paragraphs and paragraphs. Mate you have to get a hobby.

I think writing paragraphs is his hobby.

Gamma, please stop the essay posts.  State your case and cease rambling on and on.  It's annoying.  "Short and sweet, and to the point".  Thank you.

19 minutes ago, Jerno said:

Gamma, please stop the essay posts.  State your case and cease rambling on and on.  It's annoying.  "Short and sweet, and to the point".  Thank you.

Never have I written an essay, here, I fear. 

If I could have, then I would have. 

Twain wrote a few decent essays in his life. 

So, if you want to know what an essay looks like, then download a few of his, for free. 

 

Also, please just ask any woman you might meet... 

 

They will tell you that what is short is not so sweet. 

13 hours ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Jesus...

No, his name was Not Jesus.

And about Jesus Christ we don't know much about his relations to Land Ladies. ????

2 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Maybe best to just buy the Sands in Vegas, hole up there, and then grow your nails long as possible, same as Hughs, until you are finally carted off. 

 

Hughs loved guesthouse living so much that it was the death of him. 

 

Let this be a warning to most of us. 

If I had the money, IMO a Russian billionaire's luxury yacht stocked with nubile lassies could be the answer. Although too many of them falling overboard might raise some eyebrows.

 

Back to my avocado, cheese and macadamia lunch. Have you done a brief discourse on food as yet, GG? After all, it is another pleasure of the flesh.

 

We all know you are celibate, just wondering if you are ascetic as well.

11 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

If I had the money, IMO a Russian billionaire's luxury yacht stocked with nubile lassies could be the answer. Although too many of them falling overboard might raise some eyebrows.

 

Back to my avocado, cheese and macadamia lunch. Have you done a brief discourse on food as yet, GG? After all, it is another pleasure of the flesh.

 

We all know you are celibate, just wondering if you are ascetic as well.

Eat more purple berries. 

6 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Eat more purple berries. 

 

Just like Maximus Decimus Meridius, you always entertain.

 

???? ???? ????

14 minutes ago, HappyExpat57 said:

Just like Maximus Decimus Meridius, you always entertain.

 

???? ???? ????

WE are the barbarians. 

Here in Thailand.????

Indeed. ????

2 minutes ago, zzaa09 said:

Here in Thailand.????

Indeed. ????

NO!... 

All those outside of ancient Rome. 

16 hours ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Jesus...

Yes, I am here my son.......????