Why did you marry? And maybe why did you do it again?

[1FinickyOne]

21 minutes ago, sawadee1947 said:

Yeah, in later or actually the very last years it's true companionship and a free nurse at home who will burn you some happy day☺️????

Future is always an unknown... I would not have been able to imagine mine. 

[richard_smith237]

Ultimately, to allow the convenience of being permitted to live together.

 

For both of us...  It was obvious we were going to get married at some point, we married after 2 years just to make life easier for us. 

 

My Wife is from Bangkok and lived at home with her parents (Wife was 31 when we met - 3 yrs age gap). In a traditional culture there is no way my Wife was ever going to be permitted to live with me or travel together unless we were married. 

Before marriage, whenever we went out she had to be home by midnight.

We did holiday together etc and sometimes she stayed over, this involved the ‘white lie’ to her parents that she was staying at one of her females friends places.

I’m sure her parents knew was was going on, so prolonging this sort of lie was becoming disrespectful. 

 

We got married so we could live together and spend more time with each other, we’ve been married 12 years. My In-laws are proud grandparents and visit weekly and often stay over.

 

 

Would I get married again ? - thats obviously something I can’t imagine. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

2 minutes ago, jerrymahoney said:

I was just the opposite: I said that I will go through all the legalities up to the meeting and papers  at the amphur office but I am not going through one of those village-type marriage ceremonies.

And how is that working out for you? Well, I hope. 

[jerrymahoney]

11 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

And how is that working out for you? Well, I hope. 

So far. Still less than a year. Moved into the new house in June. But she is away a few days a week with her job so I have some quiet time.

[1FinickyOne]

5 minutes ago, jerrymahoney said:

So far. Still less than a year. Moved into the new house in June. But she is away a few days a week with her job so I have some quiet time.

I am 20 plus years... and we have a pretty fair amount of away time... surely not traditional, but works for us... 

[Kwasaki]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Why did you do it? And would you do it again?

That is the question ???? to cut a lifetime events short. 

My take is marriage it's a generation thing as I see it and something people do. 

 

All around me was people getting married and it was something that you did and I  would do. 

 

My parents told me not to marry at the time they were right. 

I don't regret the time having the 2 children though I enjoy being a father but sadly ended up being a part time father which made a unhappy situation for me. 

 

Another short relationship good at first ended in divorce again and never got to see my son. 

 

What seemed a long time and a long time being together turned out good and marriage lasted 18 years, left with 2 kids to look after for 8 years I didn't mind her leaving wanting to do her own thing. 

 

Met my Thai wife who eventually came back to England and what a great help that was with taking care of house and kids. 

 

3 years later retired early to Thailand and we have been married for 19 years, took care of my step son and adopted a daughter and my only Mia noy is my Blade motorbike. ????

 

[KhunLA]

Here, TH, I really don't see a reason for or against marriage, since we can't really acquire assets worth much in our name, except condos.

 

The village thing & sin sot, no thanks, I don't buy people, and would simply rent, probably cheaper anyway.  If married before or have kids already, you're simply getting scammed.  No Thai pays new price for used goods.

 

Unless a bit skint, and all you can rustle is 40k a month/400k a year, in which case, should you really be living in a foreign country without the safety net of your country's social programs.

 

Most after 50 yrs of working should have attained enough asset, equity, even if losing 50% to a divorce before coming here to live comfortably.

 

Choose the right area, and you don't even need transport, as one of the most expensive drains on monthly finances, aside from rent.  

 

Marriage to make things easier or cheaper, isn't a good reason.  Add cheating on your spouse, and do you really have to wonder why you are in the miserable state that some are.  Some would simply consider that being an a-whole in a different location.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, CANSIAM said:

Lol its not true love, its about a 400k saving or at least access to it to do as you wish...........

What is true love? Far as I'm concerned it's a fairy tale promoted by Mills and Boon books and sellers of diamond rings.

IMO there is lust, and there is friendship, and many get married while in lust, but were never friends and that's why the relationship doesn't last, IMO.

 

Prince Charles had it nailed when he said "what is love anyway?"

[thaibeachlovers]

6 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Lots of people get married, and lots of people get divorced.

And many do it again, and maybe again. Why?

 

Personally I never married.

Oh goody, A thread I can jump into ( seem to be few and far between these days ).

 

You wuz lucky to never get married.

 

I had 2 serious relationships and both ended badly for me and financially well for them. Would I try again? Not even if the future of the world depended on it.

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, KIngsofisaan said:

Some men will do the right thing for their families, some men will think they are doing the right thing for themselves.

 

Either avenue will elicit negative responses from the other side.

 

Those that always do the right thing for themselves, will never understand those that do the right thing for their families.

 

 

 

 

Don't assume that every man wants children. Never did, and don't see the point now that kids don't have to look after parents any more.

[bolt]

I got married when i was 39, I had no children previously

getting married gave me stability and REAL responsibility, we've been married for 13 years now she is my best friend and I couldn't dream of losing her.

She's a great cook incredibly clean, and is an amazing handyman around the house.

 

my advice to ANYONE is to get married( but make sure they're the right person 1st)

[JayClay]

4 hours ago, Jerno said:

 

Duplicate post ..

[xylophone]

6 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Lots of people get married, and lots of people get divorced.

And many do it again, and maybe again. Why?

I do believe that in many cases the guy does not like being alone or is totally incapable of looking after himself.

 

I had a friend like that in England and he was so useless after his divorce that he couldn't even open a can, so you can imagine what his meals looked like. of course he had to get married again, and he did.

 

Worse than that, a guy I know here has been married six times, five in the UK and once here, and he's now living with another Thai woman whom he wants to marry, but she is still married to a guy living in Italy and he can't be traced, and she doesn't seem that keen to follow-up on it anyway.

 

So if he had his way, he would be married seven times – – totally unbelievable IMO, and although he is relatively well off, he would be difficult to live with because he has a snappy temper and is tight as the proverbial ducks ar- -, so perhaps the girl is wise not to.

 

I was married once the UK and it was the biggest mistake of my life, so I would never do it again.

[JayClay]

3 hours ago, userabcd said:

Got married because it was the right thing to do and not take advantage of being in a one sided relationship with another human being.

You haven't actually made a single argument. Why is it "the right thing to do", and how does not marrying constitute "taking advantage of being in a one sided relationship"?

 

 

3 hours ago, Jerno said:

Keep saying no to your gf about marriage and eventually she will leave you or regularly bang your neighbor behind your back

That's not been my experience.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, jerrymahoney said:

I was just the opposite: I said that I will go through all the legalities up to the meeting and papers  at the amphur office but I am not going through one of those village-type marriage ceremonies.

I got married to a Thai and lost a lot of my pension despite her not living with me in my country and not contributing financially to the marriage.

If I could go back and do it all again I'd have village wedding and never tell social services back home I was in a relationship. Would also have made it more likely she'd have been a good wife if she knew I could just walk away and she'd get nothing.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 minutes ago, xylophone said:

I do believe that in many cases the guy does not like being alone or is totally incapable of looking after himself.

 

I had a friend like that in England and he was so useless after his divorce that he couldn't even open a can, so you can imagine what his meals looked like. of course he had to get married again, and he did.

 

Worse than that, a guy I know here has been married six times, five in the UK and once here, and he's now living with another Thai woman whom he wants to marry, but she is still married to a guy living in Italy and he can't be traced, and she doesn't seem that keen to follow-up on it anyway.

 

So if he had his way, he would be married seven times – – totally unbelievable IMO, and although he is relatively well off, he would be difficult to live with because he has a snappy temper and is tight as the proverbial ducks ar- -, so perhaps the girl is wise not to.

 

I was married once the UK and it was the biggest mistake of my life, so I would never do it again.

What I don't get is why any woman would marry a man been divorced 5 times, unless she was planning to get rich off him.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 minutes ago, bolt said:

I got married when i was 39, I had no children previously

getting married gave me stability and REAL responsibility, we've been married for 13 years now she is my best friend and I couldn't dream of losing her.

She's a great cook incredibly clean, and is an amazing handyman around the house.

 

my advice to ANYONE is to get married( but make sure they're the right person 1st)

LOL. Both my long term partners were "the right one" till they weren't.

I can cook and clean, and don't need anyone to do that for me. I'm also a great handyman.

I only got married to have sex without having to go look for it every night. I happened to love her till she changed into a horrible person, so love ain't worth a <deleted> when it comes prolonging marriage, IMO.

The first year of marriage was great, but then it wasn't anymore.

[bolt]

14 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL. Both my long term partners were "the right one" till they weren't.

I can cook and clean, and don't need anyone to do that for me. I'm also a great handyman.

I only got married to have sex without having to go look for it every night. I happened to love her till she changed into a horrible person, so love ain't worth a <deleted> when it comes prolonging marriage, IMO.

The first year of marriage was great, but then it wasn't anymore.

I can respect your opinion, but I will still tell anyone to get married

 

i HATE it when someone tries to justify being in a long term relationship and NOT getting married, to me its a cop out, they're weak. 

[KhunLA]

19 minutes ago, bolt said:

I got married when i was 39, I had no children ...

Got married at 25, 30? USA & 45 & 59/TH, so not young & dumb.  No birth/blood children.  Raised 2 kids in USA for a few year (5?), w/ live in GF.  

 

Daughter here, TH, 21 ish yrs & ongoing, village orphan, parents MIA, grandparents (unsupportive/cash poor).  She's self sufficient now.

 

No major negatives of first 3 marriages/divorces, mentally or any financial loss or even sharing of assets.  No regrets or complaints.

[KhunLA]

3 minutes ago, bolt said:

I can respect your opinion, but I will still tell anyone to get married

 

i HATE it when someone tries to justify being in a long term relationship and NOT getting married, to me its a cop out, they're weak. 

What is 1 good, real reason to get married ? ... as I can't think of one.  I can think of reason not to get married, especially in the west, USA, but not to get married.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, bolt said:

I can respect your opinion, but I will still tell anyone to get married

 

i HATE it when someone tries to justify being in a long term relationship and NOT getting married, to me its a cop out, they're weak. 

Marriage IMO is so 18th century.

It's become something that benefits western women over men now.

 

I never said why I got married after a disastrous first relationship with a western women- I was stupid and thought a Thai would be different.

 

I have no problem with being weak. If I'd been strong I'd never have become a nurse.

Had I been strong I'd have gone to work in the Australian mines and minted it large. Unfortunately I was weak and thought I should do something for society. My mistake.

[Boomer6969]

1st marriage

 

Back in 1980 I had applied, with my [Pink] Girl friend, for immigrant visas to Australia. At the embassy they were satisfied that my skills were in high demand, but definitely not those of my PGF. So, marriage became the easiest solution to make the trip together. 

 

2nd marriage

 

Some 30 years later my Thai girl friend got pregnant...

[thaibeachlovers]

3 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

What is 1 good, real reason to get married ? ... as I can't think of one.  I can think of reason not to get married, especially in the west, USA, but not to get married.

100%.

Unless one wants to have kids. IMO no reason to get married.

[hotandsticky]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

100%.

Unless one wants to have kids. IMO no reason to get married.

 

 

+1

[KhunLA]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

100%.

Unless one wants to have kids. IMO no reason to get married.

That's not even a good, necessary reason today.   Simply being on the birth certificate is more than enough.

[sanuk711]

6 hours ago, jerrymahoney said:

One reason I decided, or was willing, to get married for the first time anywhere in Thailand is because there is 'sin tua' being that property acquired before marriage is not common marital property, and for me that is everything.

All, Fruits of Sin Suan Tua, are usually classed as Sin Somros---remember that before you sell your condo which may have doubled in price while you have been married, or clap you hands at the great return you have had from the your shares over the years..

[jerrymahoney]

18 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

All, Fruits of Sin Suan Tua, are usually classed as Sin Somros---remember that before you sell your condo which may have doubled in price while you have been married, or clap you hands at the great return you have had from the your shares over the years..

I have limited personal assets.

[jerrymahoney]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I got married to a Thai and lost a lot of my pension despite her not living with me in my country and not contributing financially to the marriage.

If I could go back and do it all again I'd have village wedding and never tell social services back home I was in a relationship. Would also have made it more likely she'd have been a good wife if she knew I could just walk away and she'd get nothing.

I guess not an American.

[bolt]

50 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

100%.

Unless one wants to have kids. IMO no reason to get married.

For me and i mean this is for me, when i got married it showed to the general public that i was settling down, making a commitment. 

its as simple as that, if you're suspicious about infidelity or you want to sleep around go for it.

 

To me being married reinforces your commitment to NOT walk away when something goes wrong.

 

running way doesn't help

[Hummin]

7 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Why not, there's no downside to marriage in Thailand.

You can still bang other women, and you get a VISA extension with 400k in the bank.

Because in Thailand you are responsible for your better half. Look it up, and see how much trouble that can give you, if you believe that is an easy solution. It can make you bankrupt in Thailand. 
 

I marry because of visa for my gf so we can live in Norway, and also secure her if something happens to me. 
 

I do not believe in marriage as an institution, but thats what legalises a partner ship, so be it. If you have no trust in life or in your partner do not marry. Simple as that. 
 

45 - 50% of marriages world wide ends in divorce, to rest ends because of death ???? Something to think about.