Stupid me! I lent a lot of money to a Thai woman.

[4MyEgo]

3 minutes ago, novacova said:

What inspires one to such malice. 
Forget about it, stop thinking about it and move on. You’ll be much happier.

Can you not read, revenge is bitter sweet.

[findlay13]

1 hour ago, worgeordie said:

You must be stupid, posting the fact you lent/gave a Thai woman a lot of money,

opening yourself up to ridicule ,best to suck it up and put it down to an expensive

experience ,and hopefully learn from it. take solace your not the first and won't be

the last.

 

regards Worgeordie

 

I wonder how real some of these posts are and how many are wind ups Geordie?I'm not sure, but this seems to fall into the category of "What is the bum gun in the toilet for ?" posts, Which I have seen asked on T.V.????

Edited December 30, 2022 by findlay13

[findlay13]

58 minutes ago, aldriglikvid said:

her friends and family would most certainly only high-five her for her success. 

????

[chuang]

How much money involved...if it is penny just write it off...

[billd766]

1 hour ago, worgeordie said:

You must be stupid, posting the fact you lent/gave a Thai woman a lot of money,

opening yourself up to ridicule ,best to suck it up and put it down to an expensive

experience ,and hopefully learn from it. take solace your not the first and won't be

the last.

 

regards Worgeordie

 

That is probably the best and most sensible advice you will get from this forum.

 

Many of us have been down that path and have learned a good, painful financial lesson.

[ThailandRyan]

3 minutes ago, billd766 said:

That is probably the best and most sensible advice you will get from this forum.

 

Many of us have been down that path and have learned a good, painful financial lesson.

It isn't so far off from getting married to a Thai lady and then building them a house, buying them a car and then them deciding they do not want you and divorce you.  For the OP he got off a hell of a lot cheaper than some......many of those accounts have been posted herein these pages and as I posted earlier get the same response as I posted......

 

But she's different Batman.  Few and far between are actually stellar individuals and even those have friends and family that will try and bleed you dry.  Unless your a glutton for punishment you never loan (give) money to a friend no matter who they are......lesson learned and time to move on and forget about it.

[bkk6060]

I have lent several Thais money one 300,000 b and fortunately, I got all of it back.  None were in the entertainment industry.

[Adumbration]

1 hour ago, aldriglikvid said:

 it's not that the entire country is lawless. 
 

Yes.  Thailand has lots and lots of laws.  There is just no way to enforce them. Judiciary is hoplessly corrupt and inept.  Lawyers are hoplessly corrupt and inept.  And the RTP....sigh....

[Cricky]

2 hours ago, gingerandtabby said:

not "friends" anymore

Aaaah, yes, it doesn't take long for them to unfriend you. ????

[bendejo]

Terms of loan  repayment can get pretty creative in a culture that believes in reincarnation.

 

 

[DrJack54]

Judge Judy 

[gingerandtabby]

It's all in writing, I DO have many legs to stand in and, as 4MyEgo, I will pull the <deleted> bitch down.  I wanted to help, not destroy.

[billd766]

47 minutes ago, ThailandRyan said:

It isn't so far off from getting married to a Thai lady and then building them a house, buying them a car and then them deciding they do not want you and divorce you.  For the OP he got off a hell of a lot cheaper than some......many of those accounts have been posted herein these pages and as I posted earlier get the same response as I posted......

 

But she's different Batman.  Few and far between are actually stellar individuals and even those have friends and family that will try and bleed you dry.  Unless your a glutton for punishment you never loan (give) money to a friend no matter who they are......lesson learned and time to move on and forget about it.

Well I have been married to the same Thai woman since 2000 and I knew her for 7 years prior to that. I am 78 and she is 57.

 

Yes I bought the land and paid for the house, the pick up is a grey area without looking it up.

 

I have supported her through 3 businesses through 2 of mine, and she has supported me even to the extent of selling her gold when I got scammed.

 

I guess that I must be one of the lucky ones and there are quite a few of us about and more than you would think through reading some of the horror stories on TVF and ANN over the years.

 

Most of us lucky ones don't normally post about the good times, because good news doesn't sell or get as many responses. as the bad news do.

[Don Chance]

Beware of fake friends!

 

[worldexpress]

2 hours ago, Celsius said:

Write the business expense off your income tax

He probably has a better shot of passing the IRS muster writing it off as a gambling loss.

[1FinickyOne]

22 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Well I have been married to the same Thai woman since 2000

me too... and for me, everything is a gift... and the family members have come to me asking for a loan or a gift - the loans are paid back and with a surprising urgency... 

 

Yes, there are decent families and decent family members.. 

Edited December 30, 2022 by 1FinickyOne

[Artisi]

20 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Well I have been married to the same Thai woman since 2000 and I knew her for 7 years prior to that. I am 78 and she is 57.

 

Yes I bought the land and paid for the house, the pick up is a grey area without looking it up.

 

I have supported her through 3 businesses through 2 of mine, and she has supported me even to the extent of selling her gold when I got scammed.

 

I guess that I must be one of the lucky ones and there are quite a few of us about and more than you would think through reading some of the horror stories on TVF and ANN over the years.

 

Most of us lucky ones don't normally post about the good times, because good news doesn't sell or get as many responses. as the bad news do.

I'm a little older and she is a little younger married since 2001, bought the land, built the house etc, also no complaints from another lucky guy.

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, Adumbration said:

Yes.  Thailand has lots and lots of laws.  There is just no way to enforce them. Judiciary is hoplessly corrupt and inept.  Lawyers are hoplessly corrupt and inept.  And the RTP....sigh....

and you can't get blood out of a stone... 

[Denim]

24 minutes ago, Don Chance said:

Beware of fake friends!

 

Beware of human beings !! ( oh and grizzly bears )

[Salerno]

28 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Well I have been married to the same Thai woman since 2000

 

6 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

me too

???? Is that legal and are you two good friends? ????

[1FinickyOne]

Just now, Salerno said:

 

???? Is that legal and are you two good friends? ????

Is what legal and yes, my wife is a good friend... 

[cdemundo]

2 hours ago, gingerandtabby said:

Thanks for all this "good" advice. In full Agreement seems to be the best one 555

I expect that all the non-helpful posts must be frustrating.

I'm gonna and another for the future, ask for advice before you make a loan.

 

At this point i'd say you need to follow the advice "When you lose don't lose the lesson."

 

This is the one point that I think might be helpful:

Forget: " justice, fairness, betrayal, legality, redress of grievances, the principle of the thing" and anything else but "is this gonna cause me to send good money after bad?"

 

A lot of things you  might want to do need to be examined from every angle and maybe after your (justified) anger has cooled, don't lose money, time, effort in a lost cause.

[worldexpress]

23 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Well I have been married to the same Thai woman since 2000 and I knew her for 7 years prior to that. I am 78 and she is 57.

 

Yes I bought the land and paid for the house, the pick up is a grey area without looking it up.

 

I have supported her through 3 businesses through 2 of mine, and she has supported me even to the extent of selling her gold when I got scammed.

 

I guess that I must be one of the lucky ones and there are quite a few of us about and more than you would think through reading some of the horror stories on TVF and ANN over the years.

 

Most of us lucky ones don't normally post about the good times, because good news doesn't sell or get as many responses. as the bad news do.

I have a gal I've been with for a few years. We've had a couple of big arguments over money. She doesn't want any of it, believe it or not! Yes, she lets me pay most restaurant bills and other date expenses. But she shrieks uncomfortably if I take her to 5 star resorts or buy something expensive. I really want to chip in to help with some of the living expenses but she won't even discuss it. There were two attemps over the 4 years where I tried to give her 50,000 baht and they led to big arguments. She cried and told me she does not want to be made to feel like "Pattaya ladies." She's a mid-level manager at the HQ of a major bank and not well-off by any means. I feel just as bad that I'm the one mooching off her. So yes, there are a few of us that have been blessed with angels.

[Social Media]

Not Chiang Mai specific, so lets move this into the Pub where I am certain many more will be happy to contribute to this ????

[sqwakvfr]

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

Can you not read, revenge is bitter sweet.

“Revenge is a dish best served cold”.  Khan Noonien Singh, as portrayed by Ricardo Montalban, in Star Trek II.  

[Mang Gon]

3 hours ago, gingerandtabby said:

Looked up Tilleke and Gibbons. They would probably fall down laughing at my measly (not to me) amount of a few hundred thousand B.

Sorry to hear this. I fell in to the same trap a while back. I eventually wrote it off to life experience Thailand version.

Thai people do A LOT of borrowing. From what I understand there are locals who give rates on loans. Needless to say this can provide quite a bit of bitterness and resentment on the part of both parties involved. Gold also acts as a buy_borrow_sell method of getting quick cash.

Houses mortgaged up to the hilt. "Oh Mister can you give me 350,000 THB to pay the bank back?" They will take my house soon! Grandma will have no home to live in. In their defence COVID hit a lot of people very hard.

 

What is the old saying?

"No good deed goes unpunished."

Also

"In for a penny, in for a pound."

 

If you are going to sponsor a "ahem" young lady, please take the time to understand who she is. Honesty. integrity. Work ethic.

Thai culture is very different than Western culture, Mister...

Good luck Mister

 

 

[BananaStrong]

2022 for me.    Don't worry BRO, we are in the SAME boat!!!   I got scammed as well......

 

Met three college girls (separate occasions) and we chatted, exchanged pictures......one was way out of my league.  sure.  she said she got COVID.   needed to buy medicine.  I sent her 200 baht, she said she would pay me back.  I said, "nah."
 

The next one actually met me.  Then later wanted 200 baht for ..... ah....   let's say me buying lunch.    I sent it to her.

 

Then there was one who was my masseuse and wanted to meet but wanted 200 for something and I sent it.  

 

600 baht.........yea, that's 10 months of noodle soup for me!!!!   

 

OK, maybe we aren't in the same boat.

 

Anyhow, I did buy something for 4000 baht that broke.  how's that?  

I probably spent 10,000 on other stuff I later gave away over the years........same boat?

 

I'm not commenting again until I found how how much money???????    " a lot" of money should be at a very, very minimum of 300,000 and it is almost 2023 so I'll bump it up to 500,000.   

[Mang Gon]

12 minutes ago, worldexpress said:

I have a gal I've been with for a few years. We've had a couple of big arguments over money. She doesn't want any of it, believe it or not! Yes, she lets me pay most restaurant bills and other date expenses. But she shrieks uncomfortably if I take her to 5 star resorts or buy something expensive. I really want to chip in to help with some of the living expenses but she won't even discuss it. There were two attemps over the 4 years where I tried to give her 50,000 baht and they led to big arguments. She cried and told me she does not want to be made to feel like "Pattaya ladies." She's a mid-level manager at the HQ of a major bank and not well-off by any means. I feel just as bad that I'm the one mooching off her. So yes, there are a few of us that have been blessed with angels.

Blessed indeed. Hold on to that one Mister

[Bangel72]

I've said to myself before, this one is different but of course I was wrong and I often repeat mistakes and laugh about it later when I'm calm and free of those that will steal.

 

Was it an interest free loan or did you charge interest?  Thai's normally charge interest and its a fairly horrific downward spiral to lose friends and destroy lives. Did you have an agreement, is it legal? Even mentioning to her family that she owes you money could be breaking the law, the lending laws and associated debt collection rules are quite strong even if they are never enforced.

 

What is her financial situation currently?  What I've witnessed a few times is the borrowing gets them in debt so they borrow more to pay the debt, there is no out and then people become threatening just like potentially you are becoming here and that makes their situation worse, do you want her to steal from someone else to give back something to you because that's what often happens. A court may agree she repay you but it would likely be on a means basis so they will look at her official earnings.

 

Your sense of right and wrong will often not match a solid proportion of the thinking here, lying and stealing are often seen as small things and not the total break down of trust that it is for some people.

 

If its purely a con and they are in a good financial position having a jolly with what they have stolen from you then that's different but legally you will need agreements.

 

I will not lend any more, I'll give now and again but lending is just not worth the risk.

 

Consider walking away, by sharing here you may perhaps just prevent others from going down this same well trodden path of destruction.

[4MyEgo]

2 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

It isn't so far off from getting married to a Thai lady and then building them a house, buying them a car and then them deciding they do not want you and divorce you. 

Well I suppose it all boils down to individual needs and what kind of support you wish to provide to your wife, i.e. if she is not working and looks after your children.

 

Building a house in Thailand is cheap, especially for one's retirement vs trying to retire in the old country, not to mention the tax breaks here as a non-resident.

 

I see nothing wrong with building one's wife a house and buying her a car after they have been together for at least a few years and that the outlay to build the house and buy the car is no more than 10% of one's worth.

 

Personally, I was with my wife for 8 years before the house build started, and it took 18 months to build, 2 man crew, others when required, e.g. renderers.

 

Now after 15 years of a very happy marriage to a woman who is rare to find, but others have and kudos to them, if the marriage went pare shape tomorrow, the house, all of the contents and the car are hers, why, because she earned them looking after me and the children, that said, I would walk away with 90% of my worth still in tact, while she has 10% of my worth to do and chose as she pleases.

 

The above said, if one looks at the house at cost and the car being half it's value today, plus all the contents of the house, over the 15 years, I would say my investment of 550 baht per day was an excellent investment, because in those 15 years of marriage, she cooked, cleaned, ironed, did the shopping, picked up and dropped off the kids from school and of course slept with her husband.

 

Sounds like money well spent to me over my long term investment, albeit it might sound as if I don't love the girl and that she is my slave, but it's up to you how you perceive things, you see, to me, it's all about having the financial edge as opposed to going all in, and of course the laws of the land where you keep your assets, as we know in Thailand, you can't own land, and if push comes to shove, you can force the sale of the house providing you can prove that you built it ect, but why bother for chumps change, she's got to have a roof over her and kids heads, and a car to drive them to and from school.

 

 

 

Edited December 30, 2022 by 4MyEgo