Really Wish I Hadn't Invited My Friend To Visit

[orchis]

"Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days."

[riclag]

Live and learn ! After the first incident you should  of voiced your objections !Which reminds me.

 I had coffee with a fellow countryman at a coffee shop here!

He scolded me about my wandering glances when Thai ladies entered the establishment!
I never had coffee with him again!

[cdemundo]

2 hours ago, Andre0720 said:

Next time be careful with some of these people who do not have a College or University degree.. Unpredictable.. Some, of course, some....

Whaaaat?

" people who do not have a College or University degree"

This is no guarantee of good behavior, I am surprised anyone would think so.

[OneMoreFarang]

10 hours ago, riclag said:

Live and learn ! After the first incident you should  of voiced your objections !Which reminds me.

 I had coffee with a fellow countryman at a coffee shop here!

He scolded me about my wandering glances when Thai ladies entered the establishment!
I never had coffee with him again!

Probably he thought that he is more exiting than those girls. ???? 

[Walker88]

I have noticed that a lot of visitors think Thailand is just a giant carnival ride, and all are free to act however the spirit moves them. Unfortunately it was your friend, but anyone who lives here has seen similar bad behavior in restaurants, shops and clubs.

 

I think we've all seen (at least in Bangkok and Patts) things like drunks walking into a nice restaurant shirtless and not only expecting to be served, but that the service staff understands their accented, stupor-fied English. There is also a tendency to think every Thai woman is, was, or will be in the sex trade, and all the male visitor needs to do is arrange her price. My staff gets that sometimes when shopping at Terminal 21 or Siam Paragon, or even on the BTS.

 

I tend to assume these tourists are on their first overseas trip, so are clueless about things such as cultural sensitivity. Drink is usually, but not always, the cause. There's also a touch of racism involved, as the bad guy feels himself inherently superior because some people in his land----but definitely not him---achieved something of note or import in life, or 100 years ago his country had some sort of "empire", long since forgotten by the rest of humanity.

 

Grabbing the backside of service staff---whether in Hooters or a family restaurant---is truly bad form and deserves a good whomping.

[robblok]

15 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

Sounds to me you didn't really know him that well. 

 

I'm English and thankfully I don't have family or friends that visit me in Thailand like that. 

Some people are just like that. I think its more a certain class of people not a country. We got those idiots too in the Netherlands who think life is drinking and being rude. Usually people working in construction and so on. 

[robblok]

13 hours ago, UWEB said:

 

Yes i read about that the Dutch are fed up with people from the UK in the red light district. Now seems normal to me, people in Spain are fed up with Dutch and English there. I think holliday makers in general are annoying. But on the other hand if you live in a place that thrives on tourism then you should not complain too much.

 

The people from the UK i met were mainly hard drinkers. But then again my friends from when I was young (village ppl) were hard drinkers too and add drugs. So i think its more like a certain kind of people. Plus they like to travel. 

 

Its also easier just single a nationality out instead of accepting that your own are idiots too.

[scubascuba3]

9 minutes ago, robblok said:

Some people are just like that. I think its more a certain class of people not a country. We got those idiots too in the Netherlands who think life is drinking and being rude. Usually people working in construction and so on. 

Yep and they are best avoided, more and more in Pattaya now, they used to holiday in ibiza, Tenerife, magaluf, often a dead giveaway is shirtless and\or tattoos 

[Sandboxer]

Let's be honest, there are a few demographics of certain nationalities that are more prone to acting like morons, often compounded by alcohol ("In Vino Veritas) no matter if they are at home or travelling. 

 

Not necessarily an age thing either. 

 

OP - sorry you had to go through this. People change over the course of their lives. Some (most?) of us become well adjusted/grow up and learn to play with other kids/cultures in the sandbox. The majority of the rest will remain the trailer park trash they were destined to be. I know a little bit about this as I come from a (U.S.) trailer trash family and was never really meant to make it out, but managed to do so with a bit of self determination and, frankly, some luck along the way.

 

I stay as far away as I can from representatives of this segment of Western (or any) society. You may lose a friend over this fiasco, but you'll gain something more valuable - peace of mind. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[phetphet]

Don't breathe the sigh of relief yet. You might get a thank you email saying, "Thanks. Had a great time. Will be back in July for the school summer holidays."

 

As for your friend grabbing the lady's rear. That could have backfired on both of you. Not just him.

 

 

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, Walker88 said:

or 100 years ago his country had some sort of "empire", long since forgotten by the rest of humanity.

Not true in the slightest.  In fact, I wish people would forget it.  The calls of "decolonise this and that" and the attempts at guilting White people over imperialism and colonisation are a near constant thing in certain communities.

Edited April 16, 2023 by BangkokReady

[thaibeachlovers]

16 hours ago, Brewster67 said:

That's the thing, I have known him for 30 years, back in the UK he is never like that, he only went out once or twice a week and would just sit in the bar have a few beers and chat. he has even been here before, he was here 10 years ago for my wedding and he wasn't anything like that but he was with a few others who maybe kept him grounded... He seems to have changed// I won't be inviting him back. That is for sure.

I had a couple of friends for over 25 years each, but they both "changed" and are very much ex friends now.

 

As for the OP, perhaps a trip to an isolated beach somewhere might have been in order for the rest of his trip. He could have got as p*****d as much as he liked and not upset anyone.

Doesn't sound like he was interested in sight seeing anyway.

[BangkokReady]

[Bangkok Barry]

16 hours ago, LaosLover said:

On the flip side, I once took my hillbilly mother in law to a nice hotel.

 

When we got off the elevator, there was a little couch.

 

She thought that it was her room and started to unpack.

Reminds me of the tale of someone who had a Thai girlfriend and they invited her mother to come and stay. The first day, she offered to go out and get in some food, and she was gone so long they started to worry and went in search of her. They didn't have to go far. She was still waiting by the lift, waiting for it to stop at her floor. She had no idea she had to push the button.

[ChipButty]

It can be the opposite, I had a friend stay with me for 2 weeks holiday it didn't cost me a penny he insisted on paying for everything when we went out which was every night, he would even Bar fine a girl for me

[novacova]

17 hours ago, Brewster67 said:

One evening when we were sat in a restaurant and he had a few beers down him, a car pulled up outside pumping loud Thai music from the stereo and the 2 occupants got out to greet a crowd of people they obviously knew. My friend looked in their direction and waved his fist in a faux masterbatory gesture and shouted Wa*k*ers, I was mortified, they definitely knew what he meant... I almost lost my mind, I had to grab his arm and pull it to the table, you just don't do that here, we could have easily ended up in the local emergency room.

 

On another occasion I took him to a regular restaurant that i use a lot, and am rather friendly with the family who run it. The matriach of the family served us and my friend obviously took a liking to her and as she walked away from the table he grabbed her butt right in front of her twenty-something son who was in the army... The look on his face, if they hadn't known me so well I think it would have been all out war.

This is why a lot, most women here, at least here in the north are afraid and scared of most foreign men. Just some of the descriptives some of my friends use are psychopaths, not normal and rude. It’s probably why the creepy creeps end up hanging out boozer bars with prostitutes and some even marring them because decent Decent Thai women won’t get near them and don’t want anything to do with the creep trash that comes here. 

[thaibeachlovers]

Didn't take long for someone to insult bar girls.

[novacova]

1 hour ago, Sandboxer said:

stay as far away as I can from representatives of this segment of Western (or any) society. You may lose a friend over this fiasco, but you'll gain something more valuable - peace of mind

I personally don’t have any western friends here now, most of the westerners I run into here drink too much are loud pretentious and show-offs in a creepy sort of way, Some of ones that live here are very odd, it’s almost like they seem like they think they own the place, mental disorder?. I don’t drink, my wife doesn’t drink neither does her family. Just don’t want to get involved. So, sorry if you see me out and about and I didn’t acknowledge your presence and give you recognition, it’s because I don’t want anything to do with... ????

[couchpotato]

16 minutes ago, novacova said:

This is why a lot, most women here, at least here in the north are afraid and scared of most foreign men. Just some of the descriptives some of my friends use are psychopaths, not normal and rude. It’s probably why the creepy creeps end up hanging out boozer bars with prostitutes and some even marring them because decent Decent Thai women won’t get near them and don’t want anything to do with the creep trash that comes here. 

very biased outlook....

[novacova]

Just now, couchpotato said:

very biased outlook....

Absolutely! Thanks for the affirmation! But it’s true. A lot of guys get shot down by decent women in the north when they come, so they go hit the bars or go back south to where the “action” is. ???? What is so difficult about being a decent respectful human and treating everyone with dignity and respect? 

[chalawaan]

I had friends (freeloaders) wanting to come here and stay in our spare rooms. 

I just tell them the political situation is too dangerous, but they never hear about it because of local censorship.

 

They're too bone idle to do their own research, so it works well!

[jaideedave]

17 hours ago, Brewster67 said:

That's the thing, I have known him for 30 years, back in the UK he is never like that, he only went out once or twice a week and would just sit in the bar have a few beers and chat. he has even been here before, he was here 10 years ago for my wedding and he wasn't anything like that but he was with a few others who maybe kept him grounded... He seems to have changed// I won't be inviting him back. That is for sure.

Back in the mid 90,s after I had made a few trips here from Canada a buddy wanted to come over with me.Okay says me,we stopped for a couple ales near the regional airport we needed to get to Vancouver.As we were going thru security they were looking at our carry on bags and his turn came.He was casually asked ,what do you have in the bag? His reply, "a gun and a knife" he chuckled.I couldn't believe my ears ! .So began his 1st trip to Thailand.  

[khunJam]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

Not true in the slightest.  In fact, I wish people would forget it.  The calls of "decolonise this and that" and the attempts at guilting White people over imperialism and colonisation are a near constant thing in certain communities.

Yes, funny how some want to go back to the stoneage. Even recede to government control dictatorship, though forget history right? Things will be better this time around despite what history dictates.

[OneMoreFarang]

Part of the problem is maybe also what is reported about Thailand around the word.

Even reputable media like the BBC maybe report when another tourist died after a pub brawl in a night life area. Or maybe they report about available drugs.

But I don't remember seeing or reading any article in the international news about modern Thailand. I.e. the banks and online apps are so much better in Thailand then in many other parts of the world. Do people outside of Thailand ever see anything about that? No. They look at the news and think all of Thailand is like Pattaya.

And then when they come here they behave just like that.

Obviously they shouldn't do that. But in a way I understand why some people behave like they do.

[chalawaan]

2 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Yep and they are best avoided, more and more in Pattaya now, they used to holiday in ibiza, Tenerife, magaluf, often a dead giveaway is shirtless and\or tattoos 

If anything, they are less and less, the price of airfares keeps all but the most determined mongers away, and the most determined mongers don't come here to drink all day! 

 

The top three tourist groups are currently:

Russia, India, and Kazakhstan. ????

 

China is down 80% since 2019 and the way their economy is going, don't expect to see them back in numbers at the seafood buffet soon. 

[Dan O]

18 hours ago, Brewster67 said:

That's the thing, I have known him for 30 years, back in the UK he is never like that, he only went out once or twice a week and would just sit in the bar have a few beers and chat. he has even been here before, he was here 10 years ago for my wedding and he wasn't anything like that but he was with a few others who maybe kept him grounded... He seems to have changed// I won't be inviting him back. That is for sure.

Sounds like a nightmare.

 

Not to excuse that behavior but he may be one of so many that go on the internet before coming here and read the overblown stories about how so many thai woman are easy (working girls everywhere) and you can just have your pick no problem because they just love foreigners.  I would hope you at least told him how bad his actions were and the difficulty he caused you and your thai family and friends. 

[Skallywag]

18 hours ago, Brewster67 said:

You just can't do this stuff here, as you know Thai society is very conservative and polite.

You should have taken him to Pattaya.  Do not know Korat, but likely not where he needed to be on holiday

[Stevey]

18 hours ago, nigelforbes said:

What a horror story, my sympathies to the OP, I'm happy for you that your life has returned to normal.

 

Several years ago I offered to host my niece and her boyfriend during the Thailand leg of their gap year, round the world trip. She's an extremely intelligent girl who is now a partner in a law firm and speaks several languages. Despite trying to play the informed tourist guide role, she was convinced that virtually every Thai female she saw was a hooker and that the entire country had been given over to the sex trade, despite the fact we never even went close to any dodgy areas like lower Suckie. I tried to correct her understanding a few times but finally gave up. At the airport when I saw them off, she said she probably wouldn't return to Thailand because you just can't get away from the sex trade.

 

What can be said, people have bias and prejudices, despite apparent intelligence she turned out to be pretty stupid. 

Unfortunately she will more that likely be a lefty too.  Maybe direct her to Andrew Tate for re-education. He should be able to talk some sense into her. 

[Kwasaki]

17 hours ago, nigelforbes said:

Me too, it's probably happy slap time.

 

 

I would like to think a stern talking of what you will do will avoid that. ????

[Stevey]

51 minutes ago, novacova said:

So, sorry if you see me out and about and I didn’t acknowledge your presence and give you recognition, it’s because I don’t want anything to do with... ????

Ahh ! Perfect I can get this off my chest.
 

So you’re one of the ones who won’t make eye contact with other Falangs ? 
 

Yes I’ve been here a few years in Isaan near  NongKhai. 4 years ago was the first time I experienced an old man blank me. I was in a little electrical shop browsing. A sixty up year old man had walked into the shop and as I turned around he was about a foot away from me. We made eye contact and I made some kind of remark such as Hi. He responded with a frowned questioning look and a made a face which is internationally known to mean “ why are you interrupting my life ? I entered this shop with my wife who understands about 25% of Zee Verds I speaken can you please get away from me “ 

 

I gave him a piece of my mind and I’ve been doing it ever since. Never seen so many shy sixty plus year olds. For a while I started to think it maybe them not being very good on the old English. But I let a guy a few months ago know what time it was as he walked right past me wearing a Panama hat on an empty street , I could have touched him he was that close. There is no way in the world I could possibly let someone mug me off like that in public so he got it too. Worked out he was English. Weirdos indeed but they think it’s weird to acknowledge a fellow foreigner that is standing next to you in a remote village corner shop. I’ve had that multiple times.