Help, against good advice offered here, I married my long term GF in Isaan. Coming apart, advice please.

[JayClay]

Do you have income? Pension, investments etc?

 

If you do, the choice is simple; stay where you are fighting for your house and potentially putting your life in danger, or move far far away, forget this "dream house" and live the best life you can on the budget you have.

 

At 75 you don't have a whole lot of time remaining, do you want to spend the rest of it fighting a fight that you probably won't win?

[soi3eddie]

Op @notrub

Sorry to hear your situation at your respectable age of 75. Happy Birthday! 

 

You know it's over and time to move out, and move on. Despite the usufruct, being in a village with potentially hostile family and neighbours is not a good idea.

Take what you can, and all documentrary evidence, lawyer up (or at least take good legal advice). There is no knowing what might happen to you if you stay in that house - will you sleep again or sleep forever? 

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you happiness. I had a toxic Thai ex-wife. Took ages to get through it but happy now. Chok dee!

 

[scubascuba3]

6 hours ago, JackGats said:

For a moment I thought you were advocating suicide.

Only if very elderly with an awful health condition and don't want to have a miserable last few years, up to you

[driver52]

11 hours ago, notrub said:

i think she has my credit card wallet

hmmmm I'd be really worried about this one, do you understand the internet and stuff like 2 factor authentication?

ie I'm a Brit for my sins lol, I still have a UK bank account and I can log into it using a computer or a mobile but then I need an authentication code sent to a mobile...my point is I can still easily monitor the spending and stop the card if needed, the last thing you want on top of everything else is a massive credit card bill turning up.......good luck

[2009]

9 hours ago, Hummin said:

Cheap rent if you manage more than 5 years, included chef, cleaner ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

You haven't married an Isaan woman and lived in her village before have you?

 

You are likely to live in a cluttered, dusty, dirty, disorganized pig sty eating nothing but sweet, spicy, stinky, rotting, fermented papaya salad, white sticky rice, and foul, partially off meat deep fried in black, rancid, over-used cooking oil.

 

That's the life.

 

 

 

 

[2009]

4 hours ago, driver52 said:

the last thing you want on top of everything else is a massive credit card bill turning up.......good luck

Yeah, and just wait till she starts online gambling and visiting the loans sharks.

 

Any possessions you put in her name are gone in an instant.

[Pink Mist]

A troll post in bad taste has been removed. 

 

9. You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages. You will respect other members and post in a civil manner. Personal attacks, insults or hate speech posted on the forum or sent by private message are not allowed.

 

10. You will not post troll messages. Trolling is the act of purposefully antagonizing forum members by posting controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages with the primary intent of provoking other members into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.

 

[2009]

It's amazing how building your own slice of paradise can so quickly become a personal hell, and how fast that happens out in a small Thai village.

 

It happens to the best of us who try that life. I don't mind admitting, it happened to me.

 

It may seem hard, especially at the OPs age, but the best thing to do is cut your losses and move on.

 

Surely, you have a pension? And some cash in the bank? And surely it goes further with just one of you spending it!

 

Get back to civilization. Even Pattaya would be better than a village like that.

 

Be single. Enjoy Thailand.

 

File for divorce at a later date, although at your age I dunno what the benefit would be.

 

Obviously, change your will and tell her afterwards (and when you are not in her village).

 

I'd probably leave without saying a word. She deserves nothing after the way she has treated you.

[ThailandRyan]

6 minutes ago, 2009 said:

It's amazing how building your own slice of paradise can so quickly become a personal hell, and how fast that happens out in a small Thai village.

 

It happens to the best of us who try that life. I don't mind admitting, it happened to me.

 

It may seem hard, especially at the OPs age, but the best thing to do is cut your losses and move on.

 

Surely, you have a pension? And some cash in the bank? And surely it goes further with just one of you spending it!

 

Get back to civilization. Even Pattaya would be better than a village like that.

 

Be single. Enjoy Thailand.

 

File for divorce at a later date, although at your age I dunno what the benefit would be.

 

Obviously, change your will and tell her afterwards (and when you are not in her village).

 

I'd probably leave without saying a word. She deserves nothing after the way she has treated you.

+1 on your post. I lived through the same situation, but luckily I was young enough to start again and had a Plan C. My half Thai/American daughter lives with her mother in the US with the man my now ex cheated on me with.  He has now also built a McMansion next to the house I had built in Issan, and the ex's parents are now living in our old house which has been put in the daughters name.  Luckily, the ex only obtained the minor assets here in Thailand and not in the US.  Does not sound like the OP has indicated if he has anything to fall back on, and I feel bad for him because starting over at his age after you thought you had it figured out is tough.

 

[BritManToo]

40 minutes ago, 2009 said:

It's amazing how building your own slice of paradise can so quickly become a personal hell, and how fast that happens out in a small Thai village.

Betting everything on a woman (who has already cheated on you once), and moving to her village ........

What could possibly go wrong?

 

We keep posting DO NOT LIVE IN HER VILLAGE, but nobody ever listens.

[riclag]

So sorry about your relationship!

Run to a lawyer without  haste ! Discuss your legal options! 
Avoid any kind of argumentative confrontation with your wife.

75 , just when you think you have all your ducks in a row!

 

 

[Liverpool Lou]

18 hours ago, Lacessit said:

You may have to buy her out of her half.

Her half of what?  She obviously owns the house/land 100%.

[Liverpool Lou]

18 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Let her find a new lover, hopefully a rich one. And then sell him that land and the house

He does not have a house or land to sell...it's hers.

[Liverpool Lou]

18 hours ago, 2009 said:

Have you consider kicking her out?

How does he kick her out of her house on her land?

[NextG]

14 hours ago, steven100 said:

The reality is you are correct,  I would be concerned about my own well being in that house if she wants him out, especially if he has nobody to watch him. 

Which is exactly why I suggested moving a new woman in; whether it be a new prospect or a carer. 

[Henryford]

You should never put yourself in a position where, if things get too bad, you just can't walk away. At your age the last thing you need is rows and nagging until you die. Can you afford to rent somewhere. Just walk out and start a new life.

[VocalNeal]

Not sure exactly how usufruct works and what is considered the house???? 

Change your will.

Brick in the carport and live there, then suggest to her that you will stop supporting her. 

Your wife is bored . Take her for a two week holiday to the beach.

[Hummin]

2 hours ago, 2009 said:

You haven't married an Isaan woman and lived in her village before have you?

 

You are likely to live in a cluttered, dusty, dirty, disorganized pig sty eating nothing but sweet, spicy, stinky, rotting, fermented papaya salad, white sticky rice, and foul, partially off meat deep fried in black, rancid, over-used cooking oil.

 

That's the life.

 

 

 

 

I feel sorry for your and everyone else's experience, I can feel the bitterness in your posts

[thailandsgreat]

Thanks for sharing. I had no idea this could happen with a 58 y.o. women, your gf since 7-8 yrs. You have an open attitude to it and will find a reasonable solution.

[OneMoreFarang]

Just now, thailandsgreat said:

Thanks for sharing. I had no idea this could happen with a 58 y.o. women, your gf since 7-8 yrs. You have an open attitude to it and will find a reasonable solution.

What would be such a "reasonable solution"?

She let her new lover move in with her and he can live in the chicken shed?

 

[steven100]

This is just another wake up call that reminds us all of how nasty, cunning and conniving they can be.

They have zero conscience about their actions and underhandedness.  They don't give a rats about taking farang for a ride. 

The part that I would be angry about and I would suspect others feel the same is that you provide a roof over their head, food, car and whatever .... and after giving them all this and supporting them they soon decide it was all a game and it's time for the farang to get out of their lives. 

It's one country I'll never ever forget,   and it won't be for it's honesty that's for damn sure.   

 

 

 

[2009]

56 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

How does he kick her out of her house on her land?

Doesn't he have a usufruct on it til the day he dies?

[2009]

6 minutes ago, steven100 said:

This is just another wake up call that reminds us all of how nasty, cunning and conniving they can be.

They have zero conscience about their actions and underhandedness.  They don't give a rats about taking farang for a ride. 

The part that I would be angry about and I would suspect others feel the same is that you provide a roof over their head, food, car and whatever .... and after giving them all this and supporting them they soon decide it was all a game and it's time for the farang to get out of their lives. 

It's one country I'll never ever forget,   and it won't be for it's honesty that's for damn sure,   more for their inbreed thievery.

 

I think he should walk. Let her pay her own bills and expenses for the rest her life or rely on someone else

 

If the vehicles are his , take them with him. She can take the bus.

 

He'll enjoy his pension more if it's just for him.

[Liverpool Lou]

2 minutes ago, 2009 said:

58 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

How does he kick her out of her house on her land?

Doesn't he have a usufruct on it til the day he dies?

You think that enables him to kick out the woman who owns the property and the land that it is built on?

[2009]

30 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I feel sorry for your and everyone else's experience, I can feel the bitterness in your posts

Some call it 'culture', man.

[thailandsgreat]

This I copied from a legal page. So there comes no obligations with cohabitation? As long as you don't marry you will be fine.

 

 First, there is more freedom in a cohabitation relationship. As a cohabiting partner you are free to leave virtually whenever you want; there are no formal legal relationships to dissolve, just pack your suitcases and leave. Second, as a party to a cohabitation relationship you have the freedom to explore romantic relationships with others without causing the legal headaches involved with committing adultery. Third, you can create a cohabitation agreement with a same—sex partner. Finally, unless you specifically choose to do so, you do not become legally liable for the debts of your partner simply by virtue of the fact of living together.

 

[steven100]

4 minutes ago, 2009 said:

Doesn't he have a usufruct on it til the day he dies?

A usufruct is useless imo ....   who would want to stay in a house if your not welcome and they want you gone? ...  it could be a big risk and mistake staying there.

[2009]

3 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

You think that enables him to kick out the woman who owns the property and the land that it is built on?

I don't think she has the right to use that property with the usufruct in his name.

[gearbox]

3 minutes ago, steven100 said:

This is just another wake up call that reminds us all of how nasty, cunning and conniving they can be.

They have zero conscience about their actions and underhandedness.  They don't give a rats about taking farang for a ride. 

The part that I would be angry about and I would suspect others feel the same is that you provide a roof over their head, food, car and whatever .... and after giving them all this and supporting them they soon decide it was all a game and it's time for the farang to get out of their lives. 

It's one country I'll never ever forget,   and it won't be for it's honesty that's for damn sure,   more for their inbreed thievery.

 

Meh, Thailand is much better than most countries in the west in regards to own wealth preservation when in a relationship. If your small head doesn't prevail, your partner is entitled to nothing of your past accumulated assets, unless you decide as the OP to transfer that wealth to their title.

 

In Oz if you have a gf, have 10 times more assets than her, and live together long enough to be considered de facto partners...then the partner can claim half of your assets, including your super. Don't need to be married, it is enough to be living together long enough, AFAIK 6 months or an year.

 

A married friend of mine with his own (before marriage) apartment in Sydney had to take a new mortgage on his own paid off apartment when they divorced. Back to ground zero and she walked off with hundreds of thousands easy money.

 

[Hummin]

28 minutes ago, 2009 said:

Some call it 'culture', man.

your description of how your life, was is your experience, and it is time for some to own up to be a man, and take responsibillity for their own actions and what happens to them. 

 

We all know what it means to involve with a woman,, especially poor women, and still some just walk in to it with open eyes, and when it goes wrong, they blaim the women like Steven do above. Man up and take responsibility for your mistakes, it doesnt help to wine about it rest of your life. Walk away, forget it,