good morning. I would like some advice on how to deal with my negative view of thai people.

this is something that has been growing in me for years and has now fully crystalized. 

i dont like this feeling, but i cannot help it.

after negative interaction after negative interaction this is what it has become.

jsut yesterday i was sat at a table having a coffee, i could see the table netx to me had drinks on the table already.

then a thai woman approcached and noticed there was a farang sat on the table next to hers. she immediately picked up her drinks and moved to another table accross the room.

thhen on the bus on thre way home, there was only 1 seat available so i sat down. the man got up from his seat and stood up instead of having to sit next to a farang. 

 

these are just two isolated inceients out of hundreds over the years. what is a foreigner to do when faced with constant incidents such as these? should we remian positive? should we remain respectful at all times? surely there is only so much people can take?

another one that really riles me is when walking down the street and a thai person isnt wearing there mask but when they see a foreinger approaching they quickly put their mask on. then when the foriegner leaves thier vacinity they remove it again. they seem absolutely terrified of us. it really gets me down.

 

this is NOT a thai bashing thread, so please dont treat it as such. I am looking for advice on how to deal with these feelings that have sadly now crsytalized into something far worse than dislike for our 'hosts'.

 

and before anyone says i should just leave. no, that is not an opition. for better or for worse i am stuck here. I just need some advice because i dont like feeling this way about them but all my hundreds of negative interactions with the locals over the years has shaped my outlook of them and it isnt positive. I honestly cant remember the last time i had a positive interaction with a local. probably before covid.

 

do i need therapy or am i justified in my feelings? these events that i see on a daily basis remind me of the way the civil rights movement begun. black people were treated in pretty much the same way as we are. they basically had no rights, has to sit alone at the back of the bus etc, they didnt stay quiet, did they? should we just put up and shut up or should this overtly xenophobic behavior from the locals be challenged? 

 

p.s, i have no idea if this post violates any forum rules. if it does then please feel free to remove it at the earliest convenience. these are just my honest feelings and i am seriously looking for advice/help with how to deal with them as I hate this negative mindset. 

 

thanks. 

Troll post removed 

9 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

do i need therapy

yes

I know people here who are concerned about their perceived negative interactions but I do not know anyone who claims as you do to have no positive interactions in many years.

17 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

should we remian positive? should we remain respectful at all times?

yes and yes.  Smile at everyone that looks at you every time for a start.

This is a subject for a decent Pub chat, no?

17 minutes ago, Pink Mist said:

Troll post removed 

hi pink mist. could you please move this to the pub. thank you.

regarding masking, there is a lot of irrational behavior, fears, conditioning by the media, etc ... 

 

you've never smiled at a local and they smiled back at you? 

or the other way around? they smile at you first? 

and if you think all the smiles are fake, that's overly cynical.

 

I would like to kindly ask that everyone please read my post thoroughly and comphrehend everything that I am saying before making any rash judgements. 

 

thank you all. 

I will be quite honest, and I doubt that you will like it so!

 

However, taking a quick look at your profile and some of your posts, it strikes me that you come across as fairly aggressive in your outlook. Thais generally are not, and do not react well to an aggressive demeanor. That may well be why you find they react in this way?

Frankly I tend  to be  negative about Thailand, but it is more related to the sorry state of the country. I have travelled in  Asia for the past 45 years, and during my early years  economists described Thailand as one of the "Rising Tigers" of  the region. While neighbours made inroads into democracy  and its resulting development this place resisted any change and we can still witness what is happening today.

 

When it come to the people, I have a lot admiration for the women,  while every now and then I come across a nice fellah...

1 minute ago, herfiehandbag said:

I will be quite honest, and I doubt that you will like it so!

 

However, taking a quick look at your profile and some of your posts, it strikes me that you come across as fairly aggressive in your outlook. Thais generally are not, and do not react well to an aggressive demeanor. That may well be why you find they react in this way?

i am not an aggressive person. at least i dont strive to be. not sure what an aggressive demeanor is? and how can we control how others perceive us? 

Sounds to me like you need to take more showers. The examples you state never happen to me. 

41 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

do i need therapy or am i justified in my feelings?

Just ignore the locals, works in any country.

1 minute ago, gargamon said:

Sounds to me like you need to take more showers. The examples you state never happen to me. 

I shower at least twice a day and wear the finest cologne. its not enough??

I tend to agree with the OP,   you can have a bus full of Thais and they will very reluctantly sit in the only vacant seat next to a farang. They are racist.  But OP, you don't need any help to comes to terms with that,  just accept and don't think about it, move on through your day and give them that fake smile back.  I have good Thai friends who I wouldn't consider the same, we go out drink, have food whatever,  but there are all the others. 

Spend a few months in Nepal or India. You will feel a lot better.

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Just ignore the locals, works in any country.

I would like to. but in my current situation its very hard if not impossible to do that. I am however working on a plan to isolate myself even more than I currently do. not sure how that will affect my mentality but it might not be too good? 

1 minute ago, bogs smith said:

I would like to. but in my current situation its very hard if not impossible to do that. I am however working on a plan to isolate myself even more than I currently do. not sure how that will affect my mentality but it might not be too good? 

Ignoring the locals isn't the same as isolating yourself.

I suppose the issue is whether it is a little bit of imagination or exaggeration and, if not, why it would concern you a lot given it appears these are strangers, who pass by, rather than friends or associates. 

If someone acts in a certain way I find it amusing or interesting rather than taking it personally. Comparing it to overt prejudice, such as against black people of the past, makes me question how seriously you are taking this as it is a fairly outrageous comparison i.e. people's minor reactions rather than actions that actually limit your actual life. 

I think if you can make yourself happy - exercise, a happy lady, friends, activities, whatever - this stuff won't be a big deal. But then I am a tourist who doesn't live here long term. 

Just now, bogs smith said:

I shower at least twice a day and wear the finest cologne. its not enough??

Maybe not. It might not be your odor but something else about you that they disdain. As I don't know you, I can't hazard to guess what it is. All I can state is that I don't have the same reaction from the locals as you. 

1 minute ago, gargamon said:

All I can state is that I don't have the same reaction from the locals as you. 

well thats great. good for you.

 

thanks for your input. 

26 minutes ago, gargamon said:

Sounds to me like you need to take more showers. The examples you state never happen to me. 

Had the bus moving seats happen, in fact one guy moved twice after I moved into the seat he vacated as mine was broken, as soon as he realised he moved again. Also in tops food court a woman actually moved the two small adjoining tables apart, when she went to get something I moved them back. . I have had people telling me to go back home and a crazy women in Big C ranting about farangs, never saw her before. All these incidents were years ago, nothing to do with smells so that excuse wont wash.

My most annoying peeve with Thais is their lack of awareness of what goes on around them, like they are in a world of their own, partly the reason for the traffic statistics. People standing in doorways or at the foot of escalators is a classic. Mrs will be walking behind and just nip into a shop forgetting to say anything. Yesterday group of people we were giving a lift to from a concert just wandered off without looking where we were and lost a lift home, dozy buggers, but TIT. !

14 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

I shower at least twice a day and wear the finest cologne. its not enough??

Maybe the 'finest Cologne' is not so fine to the Thai nose!

Shower twice a day and be natural.

 

And maybe a 'check up from the neck up' would not be a bad idea.

9 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

I shower at least twice a day and wear the finest cologne. its not enough??

Maybe it's the cologne?

 

All jokes aside, I have never experienced anything like the OP describes. Quite the opposite, I find Thais very open and welcoming, and always up for a laugh or a joke. Not to say that they drive me mental sometimes.

 

However, on entering bars, restaurants and song-taows, I am often in the position of having to be very selective of where I sit because of the look/dress/demeanour  of some Europeans.  

2 minutes ago, proton said:

Had the bus moving seats happen, in fact one guy moved twice after I moved into the seat he vacated as mine was broken, as soon as he realised he moved again.

i dont know how this kind of thing affects you but it actually hurts me. then the hurt quickly turns to anger and I have a strong urge to reprimand the culprit, but i never do. 

maybe some farangs (not YOU, OP), give themselves too much importance and expect that locals will go out of their way to be respectful, kind, smiling all the time, etc ... 

 

most locals in any country are not necessarily racist. they just are too preoccupied with their own lives to be preoccupied with a farang. 

 

 

42 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

I would like to kindly ask that everyone please read my post thoroughly and comphrehend everything that I am saying before making any rash judgements. 

 

thank you all. 

You don't mention your personal appearance and where you stand on the cleanliness scale - and where you are? 

 

As most others probably, I do not get bad reactions from Thai people. Quite the contrary. 

16 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

well thats great. good for you.

 

thanks for your input. 

I too have never experienced anything like you do or have. Been here 35 years now. It may have to do with your overall attitude. Anybody who responds in a way you dont like you are swift to jump, as this post shows. 

8 minutes ago, bogs smith said:

i dont know how this kind of thing affects you but it actually hurts me. then the hurt quickly turns to anger and I have a strong urge to reprimand the culprit, but i never do. 

I did, or tried to but the guy on the bus was pretending to be asleep, told the tops women when I left her behavior was disgusting.

Just now, marin said:

I too have never experienced anything like you do or have. Been here 35 years now. It may have to do with your overall attitude. Anybody who responds in a way you dont like you are swift to jump, as this post shows. 

Another lottery winner, congrats!