Who you really are as a person

[susanlea]

Nice summary

 

 

[save the frogs]

how sane are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

people get their cholesterol levels checked, but there's no way to check how sane you are. 

 

 

[stoner]

spent most of my life trying to make others happy over myself. 

[hotandsticky]

3 minutes ago, stoner said:

spent most of my life trying to make others happy over myself. 

 

 

Like the safety announcement from flight attendants............put your own life jacket on before attending to others.

[stoner]

20 minutes ago, hotandsticky said:

 

 

Like the safety announcement from flight attendants............put your own life jacket on before attending to others.

 

i'm not that bright. 

[bob smith]

where's gg?

 

bob.

[Prubangboy]

41 minutes ago, stoner said:

spent most of my life trying to make others happy over myself. 

Not a diss, but that sounds like co-dependency. 

 

It wrecked my life, so have a Goggle.

[stoner]

8 minutes ago, Prubangboy said:

Not a diss, but that sounds like co-dependency. 

 

It wrecked my life, so have a Goggle.

 

you're right. but i still very much enjoy being with my wife. so that part helps. 

[Prubangboy]

Be for yourself at least a little bit.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, stoner said:

spent most of my life trying to make others happy over myself. 

This was a mistake I also made. But luckily my Brit wife taught me (during divorce) only to care about me ...... me me me me me.

 

Nobody else matters!

 

A few years back someone told me 'you're not a good person', my reply was I never claimed to be anything but bad.

[Hummin]

4 hours ago, stoner said:

spent most of my life trying to make others happy over myself. 

Here you are your true self?

[roo860]

3 hours ago, bob smith said:

where's gg?

 

bob.

There's 2 🛎 ends with those initials mate!

[Hummin]

Im still learning and evolving, thats me

[fredwiggy]

The only reason I'm living in Thailand is because I have to get re-established back in the states with my daughter and that takes time. My wife always came first until she proved unworthy,and my kids always came first when I was alone until they can take care of themselves. I still take care of myself well, because it's the only way you can take care of others.

[KannikaP]

4 hours ago, susanlea said:

Nice summary

 

 

Stick to 8 out of 10, or Literally Just told you Jimmy.

[scubascuba3]

Sounds like many guys on this thread need counselling 

[OneMoreFarang]

I am who I am. I don't try to play a role or be someone else.

Some people like me, others not. Fine.

Being the same all the time and not trying to play a role makes life so much easier. 

[soalbundy]

4 hours ago, save the frogs said:

how sane are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

people get their cholesterol levels checked, but there's no way to check how sane you are. 

 

 

Of all the gifts god did na gie us

to see ourselves as others see us.

[OneMoreFarang]

13 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Sounds like many guys on this thread need counselling 

Most people who need counseling don't realize that they could benefit from counseling.

 

I attended psychological group therapy for a couple of years in my 20th. Did I really need it? I don't know, probably not. Did I learn from it? Yes, a lot. 

[bradiston]

5 hours ago, bob smith said:

where's gg?

 

bob.

Which one? There's 2, right? Gamma and the other one whose name escapes me.

[susanlea]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Most people who need counseling don't realize that they could benefit from counseling.

 

I attended psychological group therapy for a couple of years in my 20th. Did I really need it? I don't know, probably not. Did I learn from it? Yes, a lot. 

What did you learn?

[Ralf001]

5 hours ago, save the frogs said:

how sane are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

people get their cholesterol levels checked, but there's no way to check how sane you are. 

 

 

MMPI-2

[OneMoreFarang]

10 minutes ago, susanlea said:

What did you learn?

I learned how my childhood influenced my actions long after I was a child. And in many ways that wasn't obvious.

And I learned that our childhood influences what we do (a lot) and it's up to us if we just see this as a reason that we are how we are. Or we decide to change our life and don't use our childhood as an excuse for how we are. We can change - if we want to do that.

 

Another important lesson I learned was about other people. In group therapy there are maybe 5 to 10 people together for maybe 2 hours, once a week. And everybody hears the stories of other people, and the questions from the psychotherapist. So, after a while, we understand the people around us much better.

It's long ago and I don't remember many details. But I remember that when I started, I thought about some of the others in a way like: I don't like this person, or that person in strange, etc.

After hearing their stories for many months, I understood more where they come from and why they are the way they are. And that helped me to be careful with judging other people (now). For most of us there are good reasons why we are how we are. That doesn't mean I like everybody who is different or strange. But maybe I accept that he is the way he is for good reason.

 

Another question I remember that "patients" often ask: Is that normal behavior. Like, do I behave like a normal person?

And the answer from the psychotherapist was normally something like: It's normal for YOU. Like, with your past and your life until now, your reaction is normal. For someone who lived another live, it might not be normal. But don't try to be normal only because other people have different expectations. 

[cowellandrew]

5 hours ago, stoner said:

 

i'm not that bright. 

I thought it was put on your oxygen mask before helping others

As you could be flying over land and the life jacket wont be of much use!

😂😁🤔🐘

[Hummin]

I have learned by thinking positive, the world gets easier to overcome, and goals easier to reach. What I want to happen happens if I want it to happen.

 

Being realistic and push your push your limits, but most importantly, know your limits. 

 

Be patient

[susanlea]

6 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I learned how my childhood influenced my actions long after I was a child. And in many ways that wasn't obvious.

And I learned that our childhood influences what we do (a lot) and it's up to us if we just see this as a reason that we are how we are. Or we decide to change our life and don't use our childhood as an excuse for how we are. We can change - if we want to do that.

 

Another important lesson I learned was about other people. In group therapy there are maybe 5 to 10 people together for maybe 2 hours, once a week. And everybody hears the stories of other people, and the questions from the psychotherapist. So, after a while, we understand the people around us much better.

It's long ago and I don't remember many details. But I remember that when I started, I thought about some of the others in a way like: I don't like this person, or that person in strange, etc.

After hearing their stories for many months, I understood more where they come from and why they are the way they are. And that helped me to be careful with judging other people (now). For most of us there are good reasons why we are how we are. That doesn't mean I like everybody who is different or strange. But maybe I accept that he is the way he is for good reason.

 

Another question I remember that "patients" often ask: Is that normal behavior. Like, do I behave like a normal person?

And the answer from the psychotherapist was normally something like: It's normal for YOU. Like, with your past and your life until now, your reaction is normal. For someone who lived another live, it might not be normal. But don't try to be normal only because other people have different expectations. 

Good points. We are shaped by childhood. Others may seem horrible on surface but underneath are ok. 

[Presnock]

After 77 years I know myself quite well.  I am an honest person - sometimes to a fault in that if I see someone dishonest then I dislike them.  Most people I take for granted are basicially honest and I was fortunate in my career to work with people that HAD to be honest or they were weeded out early on.  That made my management job that much easier and I could be honest with folks and 95% of the time they accepted what I said and tried to improve on any shortcomings.  I seldom ever gave up on anyone because like I said basically people are honest and accept comments about themselves and while not always happy, eventually they agree.  I found this also kept people much happier as I also praised folks easily for minor successes and made sure great successes were rewarded greatly.  My career successes tell me that this system worked for me and I have changed some thoughts of myself over the years but not a whole lot.  I truly wish all the expats here happiness and good health even with all the TIT stuff.

[xylophone]

9 minutes ago, Presnock said:

After 77 years I know myself quite well.  I am an honest person - sometimes to a fault in that if I see someone dishonest then I dislike them.  Most people I take for granted are basicially honest and I was fortunate in my career to work with people that HAD to be honest or they were weeded out early on.  That made my management job that much easier and I could be honest with folks and 95% of the time they accepted what I said and tried to improve on any shortcomings.  I seldom ever gave up on anyone because like I said basically people are honest and accept comments about themselves and while not always happy, eventually they agree.  I found this also kept people much happier as I also praised folks easily for minor successes and made sure great successes were rewarded greatly.  My career successes tell me that this system worked for me and I have changed some thoughts of myself over the years but not a whole lot.  I truly wish all the expats here happiness and good health even with all the TIT stuff.

You make some good points on your post Presnock, and much of my life mirrors what you have posted and I also dislike dishonest people, which explains some of my posts on AN.

 

In my earlier years I completed an electrical engineering apprenticeship and worked under a fantastic foreman/boss, whom I still keep in touch with to this day, and even though he is 90 years old, we can still have a laugh about the old times and I still consider him to be a major influence in my life, a mentor if you wish.

 

As a person I haven't really changed much over the years as I was always independent and wanted to seek out adventure, which is why I spent time in Libya just after the revolution, then spent time in Nigeria at the end of the Biafran war, which was not a good place to be at the time and I escaped death after having a loaded gun pressed against my temple!

 

I settled down a bit for a while although I did spend time working in the North Sea and on an oil platform off the coast of Norway, which was horrendously dangerous, despite all of the supposed safety requirements.

 

After a near miss on that platform it was then that I realised I needed to do something else in my life so I took to honing my skills, taking sales, management, marketing and financial planning and investment advisory courses and gaining membership of those associations.

 

I initiated and built a $2 billion investment fund whilst working for a major New Zealand bank as a Chief Manager Investments and prior to that successfully managed several teams of people, and that gave me great satisfaction, seeing them grow and achieve their goals.

 

I couldn't have asked for a better life, although I have settled down somewhat at the age of 76 years of age and although I think I've grown as a person in some respects like interpersonal skills and team leadership, I am still a pretty driven person.

 

Luckily enough I've been able to help my unofficially adopted Thai daughter to achieve great successes at university here by paying her way over the past 10 years, and I've also helped her mother (although we are not together and haven't been for years) with her financial situation, so I am generous, sometimes far too much so, but then again, "why not" because I am doing some good in these respects and when I depart this mortal coil I will have left them in a strong financial position.

 

To sum up, I am a driven person, I value true friendship and hate dishonest and untrustworthy people, and have made it my goal to look after my two Thai folk now, and when I depart this mortal coil.

[BobBKK]

From getting older, I learned that I'm more compassionate now and reflect on how I could have been kinder earlier in my life. 

[stoner]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

This was a mistake I also made. But luckily my Brit wife taught me (during divorce) only to care about me ...... me me me me me.

 

Nobody else matters!

 

A few years back someone told me 'you're not a good person', my reply was I never claimed to be anything but bad.

 

im just 47 now. 2nd half of life i should just f everybody.