50,000 baht request from Thai long time friend.

[RSD1]

There is never any guarantee that a life insurance policy will pay up. There is often at least a 50% chance that they will figure out a way to deny the policy claim. Life insurance company didn't get rich on paying out big claims to everyone who suddenly dies unexpectedly. Also, how do you know there really is a valid life insurance policy is even in place. It could all be made up. 

[The Fugitive]

8 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

They don't 'bury' them at sea, they are put it a white cloth that is floated on the water, what are you on about the 'remainder'  the Temple is on a river, but you have to take them out of the estuary, otherwise they will come and go with the tide, my friend was a falang not Thai...............................................................................................

Thank you for explaining location of temple. His fragments were complete because no one else was involved hence cremation urn(s) not required. Cremation and 'burial/scattering/floating' were performed consecutively.

[brianthainess]

25 minutes ago, prakhonchai nick said:

If the "husband" could not be bothered to provide for his "wife", why on earth should she splash out for his funeral?

 

Did the husband perhaps have a proper job back in his home country once upon a time. and up to now pay him a retirement pension? Whilst not legally married, she is a partner, and most employers pay partners similarly to widows.  Worth checking.

I have no idea what he did before or a pension, and I don't really care, what I do know he was working here illegally as a visa agent and paying/bribing a Thai immigration officer he had known for a long time. He should have been arrested for that alone but TIT.

[Lacessit]

a "loan" in Thailand is usually treated as a gift, irrespective of any assurances given about repayment. It depends on whether the friend is prepared to kiss 50,000 baht goodbye.

 

Showy funerals are part of Thai traditions. The Thai wife is obeying custom, whether the husband was good or an a-hole is irrelevant.

 

Up to him.

[brianthainess]

6 minutes ago, The Fugitive said:

Thank you for explaining location of temple. His fragments were complete because no one else was involved hence cremation urn(s) not required. Cremation and 'burial/scattering/floating' were performed consecutively.

My wife organized his ceremony It was a 3 day event as most are, first day coffin arrived from BKK forensics am, everything set up, some chanting, food eaten, next day more chanting and taken to the oven, next day after the ashes had cooled down over night, removed from oven and bones smashed up, and sieved, put in the cloth, with some marigolds similar to this, and taken out to sea with 2 monks on board. (that could cause  problems to boat engines and props.) but afaik they are all taken out like this from 'our' temple.

 

[wwest5829]

6 hours ago, brianthainess said:

A 'friend' of mine has been asked to lend a 50k to a Thai lady who he has known for 18 yrs, Her Falang 'husband' only a temple wedding, has just died, he was no friend of my friend, in fact he disliked the guy for various reasons. She wants the money to pay back the cost of his ceremony, until the insurance pay out, this bloke has not left any money for her, and the icing on top of the cake is that he was a VISA AGENT ! with a contact at an IO that I won't mention, so making a living illegally here, I have told my 'Friend' absolutely no way buddy, friend or not do not lend her any money.

Do you agree with me ? what would you do ?

Have to agree with your advice.

[JBChiangRai]

Somebody I know asked me 2 years to loan them 250,000 baht.  I wouldn't call him a friend.  He said he only needed it till he sold his house then they were moving to Australia.  His wife had been taking his money, emptied his safe and savings and borrowed from loan sharks who were threatening violence. He never left her.

 

I refused.  Firstly, I don't lend money and secondly, as soon as he sold his house he was heading to Australia, undoubtedly with my 250k too if I loaned him it.

 

A year later I got a phone call from him, he called me a b?st?rd for not lending him a measly 250k and he told me he was leaving and to watch my back.

 

I knew immediately what was coming.  He built a small housing development in Rayong and the tax people came along with a demand for all his profit.

 

Sure enough, a few weeks later I got the call from the Revenue Dept in another province asking for my name, passport number etc.  Another week later and I got the call from the local Revenue Dept, I told them who my accountant was (well known to them), he met them and that was the end of the matter.

[Dexxter]

Tell her to start a GoFundMe. That seems to be the trend for raising mony these days.

[bob smith]

I would NEVER in a million years lend a Thai person ANY amount of money, no matter how small.

 

That includes Mrs. Smith.

 

bob.

Edited August 19 by bob smith

[it is what it is]

 

yea, definitely, 100%, lend the money, though you should interpret the word 'lend' as 'give'.

 

sounds like you have a lot to learn about thailand, when you've been here longer you'll be able to answer such basic questions yourself.

[Enoon]

6 hours ago, brianthainess said:

A 'friend' of mine has been asked to lend a 50k to a Thai lady who he has known for 18 yrs, Her Falang 'husband' only a temple wedding, has just died, he was no friend of my friend, in fact he disliked the guy for various reasons. She wants the money to pay back the cost of his ceremony, until the insurance pay out, this bloke has not left any money for her, and the icing on top of the cake is that he was a VISA AGENT ! with a contact at an IO that I won't mention, so making a living illegally here, I have told my 'Friend' absolutely no way buddy, friend or not do not lend her any money.

Do you agree with me ? what would you do ?

 

I would do nothing.

 

 

 

[fittobethaied]

 If she doesn't have Thai family or friends in her inner circle that will loan her 50K, then what does that tell you? They probably know they will never get it back, and she could very well already be in debt up to her neck with them with no way of every paying them back.  Friend or no friend, my default answer is always "I'm sorry, but one of my core life principles is that I never loan money, and besides, all of my money is tied up in Fixed Deposits, and I pray that you will understand. 

[The Fugitive]

Some situations are just too emotional to refuse. Prior to moving to Thailand my then GF asked if I would pay for an operation for her friends mother who had cancer. The government hospital were to operate next day. Unfortunately, the latest test results revealed the operation would be ineffective hence they cancelled. Neither Mum nor daughter were prepared to give up, having believed only 24 hours previously that there was a chance. Having been in exactly that same situation with my own Mum I couldn't and didn't refuse. 

[Furioso]

50,000 for a ceremony for a big jerk?

 

No way would I loan or gift her the money she should have paid way less for the ceremony. 

 

Best way to not lose a friend if they ask for a loan( a reasonable amount that I can afford) I just give them the money and they can do whatever they want with it. I don't ever bring up the loan ever again; just say you're my friend I hope this money helps. 

 

2nd time the friend asks for a loan I just say I don't have the money. Case Closed. 

[Utalk2mutt]

Whilst I hate this subject as most of us have been let down at one time or another as the money rarely gets paid back I would not give out 50000 baht. I wouldn’t care how long I have known her. I would however be prepared to offer a maximum of 5000 as a one off payment with no payback. I am owed money by two Thai women (jeez you would have thought I learned the first time) with zero hope of ever seen a single baht. For me it would be a definite no 50000 baht is taking the P.

[Caldera]

If she was a true friend of mine (not just an acquaintance) and her husband just died, I'd do the kind thing in this time of grief and lend her the money - with no real expectation of getting it back. 

 

What the husband did for a living wouldn't influence my decision, not least because he's no longer among us.

Edited August 19 by Caldera

[Irish star]

7 hours ago, brianthainess said:

A 'friend' of mine has been asked to lend a 50k to a Thai lady who he has known for 18 yrs, Her Falang 'husband' only a temple wedding, has just died, he was no friend of my friend, in fact he disliked the guy for various reasons. She wants the money to pay back the cost of his ceremony, until the insurance pay out, this bloke has not left any money for her, and the icing on top of the cake is that he was a VISA AGENT ! with a contact at an IO that I won't mention, so making a living illegally here, I have told my 'Friend' absolutely no way buddy, friend or not do not lend her any money.

Do you agree with me ? what would you do ?

Never give anything to anyone in Thailand except a tip for a grab 

[ross163103]

7 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

Never loan friends money. 

 

Yes, and family also! In the past I've had Thai friends and family ask for a "loan", very few paid it back and the ones I refused didn't talk to me again--which was fine because they wouldn't ask for more money.

If you "loan" money to an Asian consider it a gift and you'll feel better when they don't pay it back, and it will be a bonus if they do.

This was MANY years ago and I don't loan money to anyone any more, life is a lot easier that way.

[JimTripper]

56 minutes ago, ross163103 said:

Yes, and family also! In the past I've had Thai friends and family ask for a "loan", very few paid it back and the ones I refused didn't talk to me again--which was fine because they wouldn't ask for more money.

If you "loan" money to an Asian consider it a gift and you'll feel better when they don't pay it back, and it will be a bonus if they do.

This was MANY years ago and I don't loan money to anyone any more, life is a lot easier that way.

That works if you never fall on hard times and need a loan yourself. It's a give & take.

Edited August 19 by JimTripper

[Andre0720]

My rule in situation like this is very simple.

Rule number one:

I never loan money to an individual, until a first loan has been reimbursed.

So when someone asks for a loan of 1,000 bahts, makes me happy...

Rule number 2:

Never loan an amount that you are not ready to lose, or give away.

 

Then it is easier to make a decision.

[Skeptic7]

Good move. Here in Thailand 99% of the time, a loan or "lend me" actually means "give me"...because you'll never see that money again. May not ever see him again, but either way that money would be long gone. 

Edited August 19 by Skeptic7

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

A piece of wisdom I learned many years ago (I think from my dad) is:

"Never lend any more than you can afford to lose."

Personally, I would offer her 10K towards the cost and tell her she should raise the rest of money best she can from other friends and family.

Anyway, how much is a Thai funeral these days?

Edited August 19 by George FmplesdaCosteedback

[Luuk Chaai]

18 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

Not sure what your "friend's" financial situation is, but if I had a longtime friend that was left penniless when her a-hole husband died, and she wanted to borrow B50K, I would just gift her the money. 

 

That said, if I were living hand to mouth, I would just give her what I could. 

 

Never loan friends money. 

 

 

 

Never loan friends money...  or for that matter family as well.

and if those little heart strings start to play and you give it up ..  may as well considor it a school payment

 you just learned a valuable lesson on how to deplete your savings with little or no return.   

 

[Spamhead]

19 hours ago, brianthainess said:

A 'friend' of mine has been asked to lend a 50k to a Thai lady who he has known for 18 yrs, Her Falang 'husband' only a temple wedding, has just died, he was no friend of my friend, in fact he disliked the guy for various reasons. She wants the money to pay back the cost of his ceremony, until the insurance pay out, this bloke has not left any money for her, and the icing on top of the cake is that he was a VISA AGENT ! with a contact at an IO that I won't mention, so making a living illegally here, I have told my 'Friend' absolutely no way buddy, friend or not do not lend her any money.

Do you agree with me ? what would you do ?

You say she wants to pay back the cost of the ceremony, not that she wants to pay for the cost of the ceremony. This would imply she has already borrowed money from someone and your friend would simply be loaning her money to pay back a prevoius loan which makes zero sense. 

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, brianthainess said:

A 'friend' of mine has been asked to lend a 50k to a Thai lady who he has known for 18 yrs, Her Falang 'husband' only a temple wedding, has just died, he was no friend of my friend, in fact he disliked the guy for various reasons. She wants the money to pay back the cost of his ceremony, until the insurance pay out, this bloke has not left any money for her, and the icing on top of the cake is that he was a VISA AGENT ! with a contact at an IO that I won't mention, so making a living illegally here, I have told my 'Friend' absolutely no way buddy, friend or not do not lend her any money.

Do you agree with me ? what would you do ?

He should only do it if the insurance ( if it exists ) company pays him directly and not her.

I "loaned" my <deleted> Thai family 60,000 for my wife's mother's funeral and got not one satang back. My fault for being stupid enough to believe my lying wife.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

A piece of wisdom I learned many years ago (I think from my dad) is:

"Never lend any more than you can afford to lose."

Personally, I would offer her 10K towards the cost and tell her she should raise the rest of money best she can from other friends and family.

Anyway, how much is a Thai funeral these days?

Depends on how much they give to the monks and how lavish the food was. The more the cost the more the "respect".

[RJRS1301]

20 hours ago, brianthainess said:

A 'friend' of mine has been asked to lend a 50k to a Thai lady who he has known for 18 yrs, Her Falang 'husband' only a temple wedding, has just died, he was no friend of my friend, in fact he disliked the guy for various reasons. She wants the money to pay back the cost of his ceremony, until the insurance pay out, this bloke has not left any money for her, and the icing on top of the cake is that he was a VISA AGENT ! with a contact at an IO that I won't mention, so making a living illegally here, I have told my 'Friend' absolutely no way buddy, friend or not do not lend her any money.

Do you agree with me ? what would you do ?

There will be no insurance policy, No benefits 

If he left her nothing how will the insurance policy ( non existent), how will that be hers to claim?
This is a scam writ large

 

[JimHuaHin]

Short answer is no way.

 

About 12 years ago I lent Baht 30,000 to a Thai female friend (university educated, former nurse, who at the time was employed as a Municipal health officer).  She said she had an urgent bill to pay, and would pay me back at the end of the month.  At the time she owned (no borrowed money) a new Western-style house with a large swimming pool and a 1-2 year old Honda Civic (money from her parents and her ex-husband).

 

As she had driven me around Prachuap, helped me find a good hotel to stay in for a few weeks in Pran Buri, and provided me a lot of local information about Hua Hin and Pran Buri districts, I thought fair enough.

 

12 years later, not a single Baht has been returned.  During that time she has married and divorced 2 farangs (according to her they initiated the divorces).  I occasionally "bump into" her a local mall.  She tells me she thinks about the debt every day, and will pay me soon.  The last time I saw her (last year, with her then new farang husband (number 3+)). I told her I am waiting for my money plus interest.  She rushed away, dragging her husband behind her.

 

Do not lend money, unless you are willing to count it as a loss.

[sikishrory]

Don't lend money to anyone. In my experience it only creates issues

[NowNow]

1 hour ago, JimHuaHin said:

Short answer is no way.

 

About 12 years ago I lent Baht 30,000 to a Thai female friend (university educated, former nurse, who at the time was employed as a Municipal health officer).  She said she had an urgent bill to pay, and would pay me back at the end of the month.  At the time she owned (no borrowed money) a new Western-style house with a large swimming pool and a 1-2 year old Honda Civic (money from her parents and her ex-husband).

 

As she had driven me around Prachuap, helped me find a good hotel to stay in for a few weeks in Pran Buri, and provided me a lot of local information about Hua Hin and Pran Buri districts, I thought fair enough.

 

12 years later, not a single Baht has been returned.  During that time she has married and divorced 2 farangs (according to her they initiated the divorces).  I occasionally "bump into" her a local mall.  She tells me she thinks about the debt every day, and will pay me soon.  The last time I saw her (last year, with her then new farang husband (number 3+)). I told her I am waiting for my money plus interest.  She rushed away, dragging her husband behind her.

 

Do not lend money, unless you are willing to count it as a loss.

 

She sounds like a lowlife...