I am white/caucasian/european. So far so good.

But in an internationally mixed environement (a restaurant), I prefer to sit at a table where fellow caucasians sit. Does that make me a racist?

Having the choice, I prefer to strike up a conversation with a female that appears "feminin", the more "feminin" the better. Instead if of a women that tries to explain to me the new "world order" with regard of the way males and females shold interact in todays world. Does that make me a hopeless "sexist"?

It get's worse: I smoke and drink liberal amounts of alcohol on occasion. This alone qualifies me as a modern day "leperd". Ashes on my head.

Please give advice how I should "re-calibrate" myself, to cope with a world that I understand less and less. OR: Set me straight!

if you cant speak thai, then its rational to sit with someone you expect to speak english

i take it to another level, in supermarket i stand in the line with a cute girl, cause why not ?

at your age, you should drink milk with cocoa and be in your slippers by 7pm

You are not racist simply for feeling more comfortable around people who look like you. Comfort and familiarity are normal human instincts. It becomes a problem only if you believe others are inferior or you treat them poorly because of how they look.

You are also not automatically sexist for being attracted to a certain kind of femininity. Attraction is personal. Many of the women I often find attractive might not appeal to someone else, and that is fine. It becomes an issue only if you believe women should behave a certain way or deserve less respect if they do not fit your preference.

Smoking and drinking do not make someone a social outcast. They are health related choices. What matters most is whether your use of substances harms yourself or the people around you.

If you feel out of sync with the world, focus on treating people as individuals. Stay curious and open. That alone can help you feel more grounded and at ease in the world.

1 hour ago, swissie said:

I prefer to sit at a table where fellow caucasians sit

I'm the opposite.

I prefer to keep away from fellow Caucasians.

Much prefer to be with Thai's only.

45 minutes ago, mordothailand said:

if you cant speak thai, then its rational to sit with someone you expect to speak english

i take it to another level, in supermarket i stand in the line with a cute girl, cause why not ?

at your age, you should drink milk with cocoa and be in your slippers by 7pm

Not restriced to Thai linguistinctly, Since Elisabeth1st, English has become "the global language". It's not about language. It's about "cultural belonging", separating countries, tribes, religious believes.

But still most of us prefer to stay with "our own kind", regardless of where we are on the globe. "Racism" a natural instinct possibly?

1 hour ago, swissie said:

I am white/caucasian/european. So far so good.

But in an internationally mixed environement (a restaurant), I prefer to sit at a table where fellow caucasians sit. Does that make me a racist?

Having the choice, I prefer to strike up a conversation with a female that appears "feminin", the more "feminin" the better. Instead if of a women that tries to explain to me the new "world order" with regard of the way males and females shold interact in todays world. Does that make me a hopeless "sexist"?

It get's worse: I smoke and drink liberal amounts of alcohol on occasion. This alone qualifies me as a modern day "leperd". Ashes on my head.

Please give advice how I should "re-calibrate" myself, to cope with a world that I understand less and less. OR: Set me straight!

try some anti-semitism maybe

5 minutes ago, papa al said:

try some anti-semitism maybe

I was afraid that such comments would become part of this disussion.

26 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I'm the opposite.

I prefer to keep away from fellow Caucasians.

Much prefer to be with Thai's only.

Me too. Between 2011 to 2016. In the sticks. No Farangs in sight. Some linguistic problems at first. After 5 years I realised that I will not ever be part of the linguisting/cultural surroundings.

What surprised me most, how certain tribes in Thailand despised neighboring tribes with a vengeance. Asking why? = They are not "one of us".

Sounds familiar? Around the globe?

The root of unfounded "racism"? Or is it a natural instinct to want to stay within "natural racial boundaries". Negating the fact that "homo sapiens" is to 99% genetically comperable.

My New Year’s resolution for 2026 was to aim for less overthinking. So when I find myself in situations where I am overthinking, I remind myself of that resolution. It helps get me back on track.

Worrying too much about whether you are too much this way or too much that way, or stressing about possible repercussions for how you live your life, can really start to do your head in. The less you analyze yourself in certain situations, the better it can be. And if someone truly has a problem with the way you are, they will most likely let you know. So do not sweat the small stuff. Keep it simple. Do not overthink.

Kinda natural thing to gravitate to similar people

15 minutes ago, Alpha84 said:

My New Year’s resolution for 2026 was to aim for less overthinking. So when I find myself in situations where I am overthinking, I remind myself of that resolution. It helps get me back on track.

Worrying too much about whether you are too much this way or too much that way, or stressing about possible repercussions for how you live your life, can really start to do your head in. The less you analyze yourself in certain situations, the better it can be. And if someone truly has a problem with the way you are, they will most likely let you know. So do not sweat the small stuff. Keep it simple. Do not overthink.

No doubt, you have been living in Thailand for some time. As well as I did. During this time, you must have noticed that Thai females usually consider Farang as "too serious".

The remedy by Thai Ladies is usually: "You think too much".

Farangs engaging in the culture of "you think too much". Realising that the culture of "you think too much" increases their monthly expenses quite a bit. But thats ok, we dont want to drift away from the original thread too far.

The Thai women you are describing are usually the ones who dislike being questioned. When they say you are thinking too much, what they often mean is stop asking questions. It is a way to control the narrative and avoid accountability.

In my own experience, the more educated Thai women have never said anything like that to me. They are usually more accountable. When someone tells you not to think too much, it is often because they do not want you examining something that does not add up, or because they do not have a solid answer to give you. Calling it overthinking for them is easier than addressing the point or taking responsibility.

When I talk about overthinking, I'm referring to introspection and serious reflection within myself and more about life in general.

8 hours ago, swissie said:

But in an internationally mixed environement (a restaurant), I prefer to sit at a table where fellow caucasians sit. Does that make me a racist?

Yes it does,

I prefer to sit at a table with other male British Christians, which makes me a bigot!

7 hours ago, Kyoto Kyle said:

You are not racist simply for feeling more comfortable around people who look like you.

That's the exact definition of a racist.

7 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I'm the opposite.

I prefer to keep away from fellow Caucasians.

Much prefer to be with Thai's only.

It's probably the other way around. The Caucasians are keeping away from you. Only the Thai's will put up with you,, likely because they expect money at some point.

13 minutes ago, gargamon said:

It's probably the other way around. The Caucasians are keeping away from you. Only the Thai's will put up with you,, likely because they expect money at some point.

What a bloody stupid, nasty thing to say.

I don't know you from a bar of soap but you can make judgement from a comment I wrote.

Have you grown up you miserable, old man.

Get off your warrior keyboard and get a life

8 hours ago, swissie said:

I am white/caucasian/european. So far so good.

But in an internationally mixed environement (a restaurant), I prefer to sit at a table where fellow caucasians sit. Does that make me a racist?

Having the choice, I prefer to strike up a conversation with a female that appears "feminin", the more "feminin" the better. Instead if of a women that tries to explain to me the new "world order" with regard of the way males and females shold interact in todays world. Does that make me a hopeless "sexist"?

It get's worse: I smoke and drink liberal amounts of alcohol on occasion. This alone qualifies me as a modern day "leperd". Ashes on my head.

Please give advice how I should "re-calibrate" myself, to cope with a world that I understand less and less. OR: Set me straight!

Nicely said. The line gets drawn with the reasons behind the choices, not the visible result of them.

If you are choosing to sit with people with whom you can converse rather than those you can't, doesn't make you a racist.
There are those folks who intentionally put themselves in situations, such as forcing themselves into various social settings where they really don't fit, which just makes everyone else uncomfortable. They think they are demonstrating how worldly they are when, in fact, it's quite the opposite.

It's not the words or the actions so much as the motivations behind them.

I would definitely prefer to sit with a bunch of women who would describe the New World order of sexless matriarchy to me.

But it never came up, not even a single time. I’m thinking about a vacation to Switzerland is in order. This sounds great.

Otherwise, I tend to sit alone. If people come over to talk to me, they usually English.

I'm less discriminating. I prefer to stay away from drunks, smokers and MAGA.

Otherwise, I couldn't care less if people are white, black, brown, red or yellow, gay or straight, male or female (admittedly I do prefer the sight of females), Christian, Moslem, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, Parsi, Buddhist, Shinto, Daoist, atheist or agnostic. (Just don't try to proselytize.) I do prefer they speak in a measured voice, and it's nice when they are fresh smelling.

I suggest sobering up and staying away from the keyboard when you are drunk.

8 hours ago, swissie said:

Me too. Between 2011 to 2016. In the sticks. No Farangs in sight. Some linguistic problems at first. After 5 years I realised that I will not ever be part of the linguisting/cultural surroundings.

What surprised me most, how certain tribes in Thailand despised neighboring tribes with a vengeance. Asking why? = They are not "one of us".

Sounds familiar? Around the globe?

The root of unfounded "racism"? Or is it a natural instinct to want to stay within "natural racial boundaries". Negating the fact that "homo sapiens" is to 99% genetically comperable.

The boundaries in Thailand are more often than not social and "status" defines the strata. Upper class don't mix with lower class.

I remember teaching an English class for Thai English teachers at a Thai public school. At lunch we had pizza. Everyone grabbed some pizza and sat at one of the communal tables. As it was my class, I happily intermingled. The head of the school comes in, grabs some pizza, and goes and sits at a "special table" all by herself well away from the rest of us. "Hi-So" don't intermingle with the Hoi-polloi. And I'm sure everyone there wanted to be that head administrator and sit in their special seat basking in the glory of their status.

Personally - I viewed it as absurd.

Nothing to be worried about you are just a warm blooded male who prefers to be around beauty there's nothing wrong with that. It might make us a little shallow but I'm okay being called shallow. The fact that you gravitate toward similar people is to be expected that's how most of us behave. Masculinity is a quality, not a liability so just don't give into the nonsense. The toxic male BS is just a silly feminist and SIMP trope.

Stay away from western women, they all have mind rot and have forgotten what being a woman means. Talk to a few expat dudes/friends you know, but also hang out as much as possible with slim hot Thai women and drink beer etc... much more fun and will straighten you out fine.

Don't beat yourself up about nonsense like "Am I rascist or "sexist" etc. (that's just the modern western social conditioning group think trying to catch you), as that sort of line of thinking is for the brainwashed... get on, be yourself, and enjoy yourself without analyzing everything on a minute scale... to hell with what some judgemental and self-righteous cretins think.

Can't get along with everyone and many you meet are complete morons anyhow, so what would they know about anything better than you. Be stoic and concentrate on yourself, recognise toxic people and situations and be able to just walk away... have presence, cultivate self-mastery and calmness. Don't engage with morons as they will just bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. Free your mind and your ass will follow. Walk the path of Stoicism.

I guess step one is to accept the fact that your are an alcoholic, misogynistic, racist.....but you seem to have spotted those traits already.

I've never visited the Caucasus (tho I have been to Stalingrad) so I'm not sure I would know a Caucasian if I sat next to him or her.

8 minutes ago, mfd101 said:

I've never visited the Caucasus (tho I have been to Stalingrad) so I'm not sure I would know a Caucasian if I sat next to him or her.

I was wondering about that as you posted.

A1 tells me you have to deal with ethnicity and ancestral heritage as opposed to 'race'.

Make it easy on everyone, sit by yourself and away from others.

No need to moan about this person or that group, spare us your misery.

1 hour ago, MIke B Bad said:

I guess step one is to accept the fact that your are an alcoholic, misogynistic, racist.....but you seem to have spotted those traits already.

...and an Western Expatriate living in Thailand.

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Yes it does,

I prefer to sit at a table with other male British Christians, which makes me a bigot!

how strangely dissimilar we are, i gravitate towards sitting with females

14 hours ago, swissie said:

I am white/caucasian/european. So far so good.

But in an internationally mixed environement (a restaurant), I prefer to sit at a table where fellow caucasians sit. Does that make me a racist?

Having the choice, I prefer to strike up a conversation with a female that appears "feminin", the more "feminin" the better. Instead if of a women that tries to explain to me the new "world order" with regard of the way males and females shold interact in todays world. Does that make me a hopeless "sexist"?

It get's worse: I smoke and drink liberal amounts of alcohol on occasion. This alone qualifies me as a modern day "leperd". Ashes on my head.

Please give advice how I should "re-calibrate" myself, to cope with a world that I understand less and less. OR: Set me straight!

Why bother what others think of you? They will do nothing for you. You do what you feel is appropriate but dont do anything to break the law.