Going Home

[simon43]

You are fooling yourselves if you think that a similar misfortune could never happen to you

Very true words and others should heed them. I was once a $ millionaire, nice $75k Mercedes Benz, couple of houses etc. I thought I had covered my a*se but unforeseen events dictated otherwise. I have been able to learn from my mistakes and now live a far more frugal but happy life, with a successful small business and doing voluntary work to hep the poor (because I now understand that a small amount of money can make a huge difference to a poor person).

Please do not think that because you have a secure job and money in the bank now, you will be immune from the slings and arrows of financial or medical misfortune.

Simon

[Gweiloman]

Are we all done recreating moments from Monty Python yet?

I'm well aware that some people find it easy enough to manage on less than I need to spend to support my family, and I'm also keenly aware that some fortunate people have a great deal more to spend. Bickering over the difference between the two isn't adding much to the thread. Why don't you start a Monty Python sketch thread and go and play there?

Gweiloman, I take your point, but the decision is made, plane tickets booked, and it's a done deal. I can only hope that the parting will only be brief.

SunsetT, You make a good point. I'll talk with my wife and with my bank and explore the possibility of transferring a sum on a monthly basis instead of giving her all the money at once. I too would hate for there to be problem with that money. Most of her family are very reasonable, but I can see her little sisters eyes light up with greed if she only knew that my wife had access to a big chunk of cash.

To all the other posters who have posted advice and/or encouragement I'd like to offer my thanks and appreciation.

All the very best to you. Hope you can return to this lovely LOS (Smiles) very soon and resume normal life.

[mikekim1219]

This post gave me 2nd thought on my moving to Thailand. But I already shipped all my things .

Edited July 2, 2012 by mikekim1219

[moe666]

This post gave me 2nd thought on my moving to Thailand. But I already shipped all my things .

Nothing wrong with living in Thailand, becarefull about the people you hang out with. No better or worse than any other place its all up to you and what you got going in your head.

[brit1984]

This post gave me 2nd thought on my moving to Thailand. But I already shipped all my things .

Doh!

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[brit1984]

This post gave me 2nd thought on my moving to Thailand. But I already shipped all my things .

Nothing wrong with living in Thailand, becarefull about the people you hang out with. No better or worse than any other place its all up to you and what you got going in your head.

A very good point. You can live a good life (or a bad) and be happy (or sad) anywhere.

These days, the similarities between various countries far outnumber the differences.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[TommoPhysicist]

These days, the similarities between various countries far outnumber the differences.

Let me investigate this statement ,,, Thailand Vs UK

TL, can have a young attractive wife/gf at minimal cost, UK, can have an old bag after 2 years she gets my home.

TL, can ride a m/c without license, tax, insurance, drunk and run red lights with no risk of punishment, UK, no way.

TL, no council tax, UK loads of council tax.

TL, can't own land, UK can own land.

TL, no tv license, UK, just you try it.

TL, can buy mobile phone and SIM card and nobody asks who I am, UK, need several forms of ID.

TL, can walk into a bank and pay in a carrier bag full of money and nobody cares, UK you get invited into the office and questioned.

TL, my pension frozen, UK yearly pension increases.

Ah yes, I can see those similarities, what were they again?

Edited July 2, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[brit1984]

These days, the similarities between various countries far outnumber the differences.

Let me investigate this statement ,,, Thailand Vs UK

TL, can have a young attractive wife/gf at minimal cost, UK, can have an old bag after 2 years she gets my home.

TL, can ride a m/c without license, tax, insurance, drunk and run red lights with no risk of punishment, UK, no way.

TL, no council tax, UK loads of council tax.

TL, can't own land, UK can own land.

TL, no tv license, UK, just you try it.

TL, can buy mobile phone and SIM card and nobody asks who I am, UK, need several forms of ID.

TL, can walk into a bank and pay in a carrier bag full of money and nobody cares, UK you get invited into the office and questioned.

TL, my pension frozen, UK yearly pension increases.

Ah yes, I can see those similarities, what were they again?

The similarities are so fundamental and obvious that you probably don't even notice them. As I said in another thread, my day in Bangkok is nearly exactly the same as my day in London.

For me, I am asleep c.40% of the day (same dreams as when I was in London). I spend another c.40% of my time hanging around with my daughter (doing the same things as when I was in London including simultaneously sending emails, browsing the net, etc). I spend c.10% of the day eating (same food as London) and the rest of the time doing random stuff (same as in London).

More generally, Thai people's lives are very similar to the Brits. People sleep, wake up, go about their day (for most people this means working to earn a living), have dinner with family, watch television or chat, then go to bed. This is the same in almost every country.

As Thailand is a fairly open economy, globalisation has meant that even the shops are the same. I very rarely buy anything in Bangkok that I couldn't buy in London, and vice-versa.

Obviously, there are differences but the similarities are huge (although I admit they are so obvious that one can easily not notice them).

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[TommoPhysicist]

The similarities are so fundamental and obvious that you probably don't even notice them. As I said in another thread, my day in Bangkok is nearly exactly the same as my day in London.

For me, I am asleep c.40% of the day (same dreams as when I was in London). I spend another c.40% of my time hanging around with my daughter (doing the same things as when I was in London including simultaneously sending emails, browsing the net, etc). I spend c.10% of the day eating (same food as London) and the rest of the time doing random stuff (same as in London).

40% of the time sleeping has little to do with globalization, that's biology

Your similar lifestyle is more to do with you being dull, than things being similar in both countries IMHO.

You need to get out a bit more and start living your life, rather than just letting it pass you by.

Thai people live a similar life to those in London ..... do you ever meet Thai people.

Ever noticed they live a large part of their life outdoors .......... not stuck inside because of the weather.

Ever noticed they take care of their parents ....... not stick then in an OAP home.

Ever noticed Thai ladies seem to enjoy sex ........ not put up with it once a month to get a nice house.

You eat the same food as you eat in London ........ Unbelievable!

When in London, ever had your wife and FIL trying to convince you it would be really good idea if you would marry her younger sister as well, so you could all live together and have loads of really white skinned kids?

When in the UK, ever had a day out when three attractive younger women proposition you (not for money), and you refuse them all.

Edited July 2, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[brit1984]

The similarities are so fundamental and obvious that you probably don't even notice them. As I said in another thread, my day in Bangkok is nearly exactly the same as my day in London.

For me, I am asleep c.40% of the day (same dreams as when I was in London). I spend another c.40% of my time hanging around with my daughter (doing the same things as when I was in London including simultaneously sending emails, browsing the net, etc). I spend c.10% of the day eating (same food as London) and the rest of the time doing random stuff (same as in London).

40% of the time sleeping has little to do with globalization, that's biology

Your similar lifestyle is more to do with you being dull, than things being similar in both countries IMHO.

You need to get out a bit more and start living your life, rather than just letting it pass you by.

Thai people live a similar life to those in London ..... do you ever meet Thai people.

Ever noticed they live a large part of their life outdoors .......... not stuck inside because of the weather.

Ever noticed they take care of their parents ....... not stick then in an OAP home.

Ever noticed Thai ladies seem to enjoy sex ........ not put up with it once a month to get a nice house.

You eat the same food as you eat in London ........ Unbelievable!

When in London, ever had your wife and FIL trying to convince you it would be really good idea if you would marry her younger sister as well, so you could all live together and have loads of really white skinned kids?

When in the UK, ever had a day out when three attractive younger women proposition you (not for money), and you refuse them all.

One thing is for sure Tommo, you live a very interesting life. I personally prefer my "dull" life.

By the way, I have now started to get used to the heat, so most days I take my daughter to play in the play area in the park (just as we did in London). Just as back home, she likes the slide, the swings and the see-saw.

I could list hundreds more similarities between the UK and Thailand, and I am sure you could list hundreds of differences, so I doubt we will ever reach a conclusion on which one outnumbers the other.

Suffice to say, Thailand is not a different world, although I must admit you seem to be living in a different world.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[transam]

Do you see any gob shits in Thai kiddies play parks in LOS. No

Do you see any gob shits in UK kiddies parks trying to damage anything they can and spray with paint. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in LOS without to much worry. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in UK without to much worry. No

[brit1984]

Do you see any gob shits in Thai kiddies play parks in LOS. No

Do you see any gob shits in UK kiddies parks trying to damage anything they can and spray with paint. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in LOS without to much worry. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in UK without to much worry. No

The parks that I go to in Bangkok and London are similarly family orientated with very few riff-raff.

I don't think playing in the street (assuming you mean a public road) would be advisable in either.

In Thailand, the soi dogs and tendency of motorcyclists to use the pavement as a shortcut makes the streets unsuitable for children to play.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[TommoPhysicist]

In Thailand, the soi dogs and tendency of motorcyclists to use the pavement as a shortcut makes the streets unsuitable for children to play.

Maybe in BK and main city streets ..... but not normally in residential side-streets and moo-baans.

The road outside my place is full of kids riding bicycles and playing badminton.

If a car comes along someone shouts 'rot maa' and everyone stands aside until it goes by.

Edited July 2, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[norrona]

Do you see any gob shits in Thai kiddies play parks in LOS. No

Do you see any gob shits in UK kiddies parks trying to damage anything they can and spray with paint. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in LOS without to much worry. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in UK without to much worry. No

bloody hell where are you from in the U.K???

[transam]

Do you see any gob shits in Thai kiddies play parks in LOS. No

Do you see any gob shits in UK kiddies parks trying to damage anything they can and spray with paint. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in LOS without to much worry. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in UK without to much worry. No

bloody hell where are you from in the U.K???

London.

Can you leave your door open in LOS. Yes

Can you leave your door open in UK. No

[norrona]

Do you see any gob shits in Thai kiddies play parks in LOS. No

Do you see any gob shits in UK kiddies parks trying to damage anything they can and spray with paint. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in LOS without to much worry. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in UK without to much worry. No

bloody hell where are you from in the U.K???

London.

Can you leave your door open in LOS. Yes

Can you leave your door open in UK. No

furry muff chief yes even Charles Bronson would have grief in most of London these days especially the housing estates parts but there are still some nice areas....

as for leaving your door open in LOS well.....that's debatable isn't it!

I live about 40 mins outside of London by train and it is lovely....the missus likes it here as well, apart from the access to smelly food from carts that is

[IsaanUSA]

Can you leave your door open in UK. No

In the whole Kingdom?

[transam]

Can you leave your door open in UK. No

In the whole Kingdom?

You may well be surprised how stuff is NOW in the UK.

[norrona]

Can you leave your door open in UK. No

In the whole Kingdom?

You may well be surprised how stuff is NOW in the UK.

you may well be surprised to find out if you do leave your property unsecured then it will not be covered for theft by your insurance company!

one good reason to not leave your door open I say

[brit1984]

In Thailand, the soi dogs and tendency of motorcyclists to use the pavement as a shortcut makes the streets unsuitable for children to play.

Maybe in BK and main city streets ..... but not normally in residential side-streets and moo-baans.

The road outside my place is full of kids riding bicycles and playing badminton.

If a car comes along someone shouts 'rot maa' and everyone stands aside until it goes by.

... plenty of safe and peaceful streets to play on in British villages

[brit1984]

Do you see any gob shits in Thai kiddies play parks in LOS. No

Do you see any gob shits in UK kiddies parks trying to damage anything they can and spray with paint. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in LOS without to much worry. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in UK without to much worry. No

bloody hell where are you from in the U.K???

London.

Can you leave your door open in LOS. Yes

Can you leave your door open in UK. No

I am new to Thailand but as my Thai landlord installed 10 CCTVs camera, most of which are focused on the front gate and front door, as well as a 2 meter wall spanning the entire perimeter of the property (not to mention that every house or apartment block on my street has security guards) I would imagine leaving your door open is not generally viewed as a good idea...

[TommoPhysicist]

I am new to Thailand but as my Thai landlord installed 10 CCTVs camera, most of which are focused on the front gate and front door, as well as a 2 meter wall spanning the entire perimeter of the property (not to mention that every house or apartment block on my street has security guards) I would imagine leaving your door open is not generally viewed as a good idea...

The big fence with glass on top and guards at the gate does seem a bit of an obsession with part of the Thai community.

My FILs house doesn't even have a door, just a hole in the floor with a ladder up to it.

Most of the village don't have window glass, just openings that anyone could climb into.

I guess the villages are different to the big city.

Edited July 2, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[tombkk]

Do you see any gob shits in Thai kiddies play parks in LOS. No

Do you see any gob shits in UK kiddies parks trying to damage anything they can and spray with paint. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in LOS without to much worry. Yes

Can your kiddie play in the street in UK without to much worry. No

bloody hell where are you from in the U.K???

London.

Can you leave your door open in LOS. Yes

Can you leave your door open in UK. No

Can you leave your door open in Hamburg?

I did twice (by mistake) and nothing happened. That‘s because I lived in St. Pauli. It would have been different in Eppendorf.

I won‘t leave my door open in Bangkok.

Sent from my LG-P698f using Thaivisa Connect App

[tombkk]

I am new to Thailand but as my Thai landlord installed 10 CCTVs camera, most of which are focused on the front gate and front door, as well as a 2 meter wall spanning the entire perimeter of the property (not to mention that every house or apartment block on my street has security guards) I would imagine leaving your door open is not generally viewed as a good idea...

The big fence with glass on top and guards at the gate does seem a bit of an obsession with part of the Thai community.

My FILs house doesn't even have a door, just a hole in the floor with a ladder up to it.

Most of the village don't have window glass, just openings that anyone could climb into.

I guess the villages are different to the big city.

Yes, and it also depends on where the village is.

Sent from my LG-P698f using Thaivisa Connect App

[fletchsmile]

Murgatroyd

Best wishes to you, and I hope things work out in the UK.

Does your wife and step-daughter have any sort of visa that is currently valid for the UK? If not at least look into getting one for them while you are here in Thailand. The logistics of helping her thru the process is easier when you are here.

From what you said it makes sense to go back alone first time. Sort yourself out with a job, and place to live. After that, in your shoes my own priority would be bringing the wife and step-daughter over, even if just for a long holiday at first.

Every situation is different, but in your shoes after settling with a job and place for yourself, I'd be going for a settlement visa for them. It might not be a bed of roses settling your family in the UK (you never know though), but it sounds like you have a nice wife, and these are exactly the times for pulling thru together and each of you doing what you can. You seem to be shouldering the main load. Once you've settled yourself, bring her over ASAP and work thru it together. If she manages a settlement visa, then she could also get a job, even a waitress or supermarket job in the evening where you hand over looking at after the stepdaughter would add significantly to your finances, as well as let you spend more time together, even if only an hour a day, where one of you works days vs another on nights. Also what would happen if you lost your job again in the UK? That could set you back further, so a second wage could help.

These are tough times for you, but tough times are also the times to develop even stronger bonds between you. Your marriage is a partnership. Are you sure when you talk it thru with your wife, she wouldn't really prefer to come with you? I know my Thai wife will often agree with what she thinks I want, even after several years of marriage. We had 18 months living in Indonesia that she didn't like - not speaking the language, no friends, etc but knowing what you'll go thru for each other and being together creates some very strong bonds. We had our first child during that period too, which made life even tougher on her. As I had no job in Thailand to go back to though, we preferred being together where I was working, even tho' very difficult and far from ideal - until we could make our way back to Thailand together again. Anyway just some thoughts...

[hopdafru]

It's also VERY hard to overcome 1st world retirement and money devaluation vs 3rd world inflation and stable currency. Over the last 20 years on a fixed retirement you would have lost 50 percent of your buying power, I see the exact same monetary policys that made it happen for the last 20 years still going on for the next 20.

So scary. It makes it very difficult to plan and budget for the future when one's income comes from one's home country. Like they all say, "I remember 10 years ago when ....." I think we all secretly wish for those days to come back, however a crash in Thailand or ASEAN does not sound fun at all.

So what can we do? Just try to save up a load of money and then some? Spend smarter (a.k.a. be a cheap-o)? Even Murgatroyd had it all planned out, his plan still backfired. So scary.

I think you raise a very good point, that comes up in many threads.

Retired westerners who move to developing countries to live more comfortably than back home (on a limited pension) should be prepared to relocate from time-to-time to less developed countries.

Otherwise, they must accept that the spending power of their money will decline over time.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

Correct, for ex. spending power in Laos has dropped more than 40% since 2008 for a European carrying Euros...big difference unless able to generate local currency!To Murgatroyd,I look forward to reading updates on your situation and changes you eventually make on the way.SokhDee! Edited July 2, 2012 by hopdafru

[poanoi]

If my gf (or myself) get some illness, i won't pay her bangkok pattaya hospital bill,

but i will pay her queen sirikit hospital bill.

the difference in cost is gigantic, so what hospital did you use ?

[tutsiwarrior]

murgatroyd...I hear what yer saying; if I couldn't maintain the money required to keep things goin' in Thailand in terms of the annual immigration extensions then I'd consider other options...but I ain't got none...and I keep my money 'under the mattress' and don't worry about investments as I gotta always have things liquid...

I love my kids and get along well with the family but it's a huge expense to keep the wife happy and now I haveta think about that...times were fat before with lower expectations but now I'm a sick old man and haveta reconsider...currently burning up USD5k per month with no income...

yer wife's family in Thailand will take up the slack when you leave so don't worry too much...I certainly won't be discouraged when it is lonely bedsit time somewhere in SE Asia, just haveta make do with the available resources...

good luck in future endeavors...

Edited July 2, 2012 by tutsiwarrior

[bangkockney]

Good luck OP. Props for making what must have been a difficult decision.

I also feel for you re the advice given to get your family over to the UK to join you: from 9th July you'll need an annual income of £22,400 net to settle your wife and one child in the UK.

[how241]

Sorry to hear about your woes. Come back soon!

I'm sure you have been through every angle, but isn't there a way to cut down on costs here so you don't need to go back to the uk?

There is usually ways to cut down on your monthly costs....Good luck to you.