Why Do Some Thais Walk 20-30 Paces Behind Their Farang Partner?

[amykat]

I have always wondered why certain Thais, (and it can be women or men) insist on walking several yards behind the farang person they are with? I have seen this and experienced it myself. The other day, I was at a shopping center, and was walking behind a very nice looking, well dressed farang man. I would say he was nice looking, about 55, probably French, wearing wonderful suede shoes, a nice sports jacket, and overall, a nice looking and well dressed man. The woman with him, BEHIND him, was just average looking at best, not dressed like a hooker, rather conservative looking, but not stylish, and very average looking maybe 35-40 year old. I might be being generous to describe her has I have.

I could easily notice, the man, stopping, slowing, turning towards her, as if he was urging her to keep up with him, and as I said, I have expericened this myself, the Thai person will continue to slow down and keep their distance as it is. I felt very bad for this guy. I could feel the same frustation I have felt, WHY won't they WALK next to you, as a normal person would??? This was not a crowded sidewalk, there was plenty of room to walk, side by side.

WHen he would stop totally, she would catch up and talk with him, but as they walked on, the same crap would continue, with her many paces behind, enough, obviously, that she did not look like she was with him at all.

So, what is the deal with this? Are Thais showing they are not with that person? Do they think this is proper to show your man is the boss?

Are they, what I think, showing "I am not really with this guy, and if I am with this guy, it is only for money?" As far as I can tell, Thai ladies, like to show how they are screwing over their farang guy, getting usually (lies) of this XX$ every month, etc. They like to brag about how they are scamming him ...so, if that is the case, why would they like to show they won't walk next to him. This man, obviously wanted her to walk next to him.

I tried to look it up on Google, and found many "newbies" or people who have never lived in Thailand, but have Thai ladies, express their opinion, that this is an old "Chinese" cultural thing, and just shows how subservient Thai ladies can be. I think that is total BS, and they are out of touch with reality, as none of those people lived in Thailand, and were totally wrapped up in their totally false ideas about what Thai ladies are all about.

But I would still like to hear an explanation about this, since I have lived her for a pretty long time, and still have no answer ...or well the anwser I have, is very cynical and most people might not like it.

Well I have a few ideas about this situation, but it makes me feel so sad when I see this. Just wondering what other people think and experience.

[whiteman]

Because the partner farts to much

[lomatopo]

20 to 30 paces behind. How could you even determine they were together?

Is this the only instance you've observed?

Could you simply ask the person why they're walking so far behind?

I can't recall ever noticing this but then maybe I'm not as observant as you?

[joeaverage]

because they are shopping, she was pissing about looking at stuff, and he was on a mission to get whatever it was they had actually set out to get.

[theblether]

Did you see the excellent video that katana posted today?

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/643840-thailand-siamese-high-society-in-1919/

What was that you were saying about subservience again?

[muythai2013]

Not really sure but my wife does not do it.

I would guess they are embarrassed by the man for whatever reason.

[smokie36]

I want to ask my gf why she doesn't do this but I am afraid of receiving a fat lip.

[SeaVisionBurma]

Moving to Pub.

[amykat]

20 to 30 paces behind. How could you even determine they were together?

Is this the only instance you've observed?

Could you simply ask the person why they're walking so far behind?

I can't recall ever noticing this but then maybe I'm not as observant as you?

Well, I was wating for my massage person to show up, so I was basically wasting time, walking around. NO THIS IS NOT THE ONLY INSTANCE I HAVE OBSERVED. I have lived here nearly 10 years, and have ALWAYS wondered why this happens. I saw they were clearly together, because I saw, when the man totally stopped walking, the woman would catch up and talk with him about whatever, and then they would gradually fall back into the situation I described. I could clearly also see him slowing down, half turning towards her, as if expecting her to catch up, and she would just slow down.

She wasn't shopping, it seemed to me she was just keeping her distance purposely. I know not all Thai ladies do this. I have had this happen to me, with various people, including men. No matter how many times I expressed that walking behind me, was not okay with me, as in, I might want to actually TALK to them....like I am PAYING them to work for me, and would like to be able to TALK, and being near by me, might be an advantage in that case, they still continue to walk so far behind. Is this a sign they are pissed off? I think it is. Personally, I think it is a sign to other Thais, that "I am just working for this fool" but maybe I am wrong??

[MRTELLYOUSTRAIGHT]

Lazy ass, bored, not interested where he's going to, missing the latest Lakorn, can't walk and Facebook the same time...many reasons.

[ThaidDown]

When she's 20 - 30 paces behind it makes it easier for her to send and answer tweets from her other boyfriends.

[MRTELLYOUSTRAIGHT]

More than likely sulking.

[amykat]

Hey, Seavisionburma, I hope I dont' get in trouble asking you this, but WHY isn't this general forum thing? I have never actually posted a "topic" in my life here on TV, and now I get moved to the place where nobody ever visits, more or less? I think this is a pretty "general" thing, as I have lived here a long time, and have always wondered about this, but never had the courage to ask about it.

Just asking??

[jeanpierre]

muslims do the same for sure turqs

[SeaVisionBurma]

Hey, Seavisionburma, I hope I dont' get in trouble asking you this, but WHY isn't this general forum thing? I have never actually posted a "topic" in my life here on TV, and now I get moved to the place where nobody ever visits, more or less? I think this is a pretty "general" thing, as I have lived here a long time, and have always wondered about this, but never had the courage to ask about it.

Just asking??

Plenty of people visit Farang Pub, believe me.

Topics regarding expat banter are better suited to the Pub.

From the forum description:

Discuss Night Life, restaurants, bars, music, movies, concerts, expat life, fun, or just a chat about everything Thailand.

Your topic is an observation regarding to life in Thailand. If you had asked where to find a certain product or a more general request for information about Thailand it would have been better suited to General Topics.

I trust this gives you a good explanation..

(incidentally, the very first reply to your OP, and various others following - assisted me in determining that it would be better moved to the Pub.)

You will also note a link to your topic is still in the General Section

[muythai2013]

well i'm screwed, I'm not an expat although My wifes thai and I spend more then half my time there.

I cannot partake in expat banter.

[hotandhumid]

You googed it? Oh dear, oh dear. This place gets sadder by the day.

Fwiw, I sometimes walk infront of my missus for no reason other than I walk faster than here and I don't want to be walking along at a snails pace all the time.

[amykat]

Well Hot and Humid, maybe your wife isn't accidentally just walking slower than you ...this is my point. Maybe some expats don't quite notice, they think like you do, wife just walks slower. Test it, walk slower, and slower, and you might see that she is always the exact same distance behind you. Come to a complete stop, oh, she suddenly catches up, but then start walking again, and lo and behold, she is not next to you, AGAIN, god dammit. She is behind, then stop, she catches up, then walk, she lags behind, etc, etc, etc. I am sure I cannot be the only here who notices this!!!

Edited June 6, 2013 by SeaVisionBurma

[OldChinaHam]

"Plenty of people visit Farang Pub, believe me.

Topics regarding expat banter are better suited to the Pub."

Correct, and I actually prefer the Farang Pub.

I am full of banter sometimes.

But back to the question at hand posed by the OP:

My considered reply, and honest too, is that this is not a Thai thing, walking behind, but more Asian culture. I have had many girls walk behind me and, like you, I often wish they would walk beside me. To accomplish this, I have often resorted to holding their hand as we walked, something that is always out of place where I come from.

One other reasonable explanation is that you are just plain walking too fast.

If you want to walk together, then you should probably just slow down and show you care about the woman who you are with.

It is that simple.

Edited June 6, 2013 by OldChinaHam

[taninthai]

lol you havent been following me around have you my misses does this all the time a farang girl i had used to do it to ,it drives me up the wall yes i slow down and she slow downs to i put it down to i just walk fast ...

[MAJIC]

I have seen this many times,and what is: IMO worse, is when they walk a long way in front,I can't help but feel, it denotes lack of respect,broadcasting to the world I am not really with this person,only on sufference! Body language is Univeral!

[OldChinaHam]

Yes

lol you havent been following me around have you my misses does this all the time a farang girl i had used to do it to ,it drives me up the wall yes i slow down and she slow downs to i put it down to i just walk fast ...

Yes, I know. This almost always happens.

I used to think about just getting her a skateboard and then sort of pulling her along by the hand.

Anyway, this is definitely not exclusively a Thai thing.

Another point is that when the streets are very crowded with people, than it is useful to have the big Farang barge ahead with his slimmer half following in his wake.

[smokie36]

Well Hot and Humid, maybe your wife isn't accidentally just walking slower than you ...this is my point. Maybe some expats don't quite notice, they think like you do, wife just walks slower. Test it, walk slower, and slower, and you might see that she is always the exact same distance behind you. Come to a complete stop, oh, she suddenly catches up, but then start walking again, and lo and behold, she is not next to you, AGAIN, god dammit. She is behind, then stop, she catches up, then walk, she lags behind, etc, etc, etc. I am sure I cannot be the only here who notices this!!!

Never noticed this....not ever. I will keep my eyes peeled though!

[MAJIC]

Well Hot and Humid, maybe your wife isn't accidentally just walking slower than you ...this is my point. Maybe some expats don't quite notice, they think like you do, wife just walks slower. Test it, walk slower, and slower, and you might see that she is always the exact same distance behind you. Come to a complete stop, oh, she suddenly catches up, but then start walking again, and lo and behold, she is not next to you, AGAIN, god dammit. She is behind, then stop, she catches up, then walk, she lags behind, etc, etc, etc. I am sure I cannot be the only here who notices this!!!

If? "she is always the exact same distance behind you" ,it would be no different to keep up with the OP in the first place,would it not? and when she caught up with you,why does another gap open up?

[bellboy]

If you don't like your girl. Walking slow behind you.

While your girl is dilling and dallying.

Speed up your walking pace..

When a fair distance away stop at a bar, have a beer while waiting for her. To

catch up.

[Chittychangchang]

Thais an not walk as fast as farangs especially with those flip flops on.

[PoodMaiDai]

They walk 2 paces for every year they are younger than the male.

[Songhua]

Shorts and a wifebeater make the farang more aerodynamic.

Edit to add: I see the guy (assumed to be French) mentioned in the OP was well dressed. Maybe he's cumbersome but just naturally faster. I mean, after all, they did build the Citroën.

Edited June 6, 2013 by Songhua

[David48]

I want to ask my gf why she doesn't do this but I am afraid of receiving a fat lip.

Moving to Pub.

See smokie36 what you did ...

Yes SVB ... I did see your comment ... ... just couldn't resist the shot at smokes ...

.

[David48]

Well Hot and Humid, maybe your wife isn't accidentally just walking slower than you ...this is my point. Maybe some expats don't quite notice, they think like you do, wife just walks slower. Test it, walk slower, and slower, and you might see that she is always the exact same distance behind you. Come to a complete stop, oh, she suddenly catches up, but then start walking again, and lo and behold, she is not next to you, AGAIN, god dammit. She is behind, then stop, she catches up, then walk, she lags behind, etc, etc, etc. I am sure I cannot be the only here who notices this!!!

Never noticed this....not ever. I will keep my eyes peeled though!

Yep, when I first came here, I climbed the stairs two at a time and got frustrated when the Thais dawdled in front of me.

But when I stopped my momement I was all sweaty like and the cool Thai just swanned past.

Now I 'when in Rome' etc etc.

.