How to make friends and meet a Thai lady for sincere relationship and marriage

[transam]

May I ask why you didn't look for a woman in your own country?

Because he would only find someone of a similar age, meaning the OP does not want to play Bingo twice a week or go on monthly coach outings with the Darby & Joan club.............

[uptheos]

May I ask why you didn't look for a woman in your own country?

Because he would only find someone of a similar age, meaning the OP does not want to play Bingo twice a week or go on monthly coach outings with the Darby & Joan club.............

Could always introduce the ladies to connect 4.

[BritManToo]

Hi all,

Have also just moved to CM, just in time for the smog, nice!

I've been reading this thread as I would also like to meet some people to hang out and do stuff with.

Trouble is, very few helpful answers so far.

FiftyTwo did mention a hiking group which appeals to me, so I'll go along with that one Sunday.

But CM has a nice river, does anyone go Kayaking, rowing or any other water sports on the river?

What about a coffee shop where new foreign residents can meet to chat?

I'm also a guy in my mid 50s, fairly fit, rowing, sailing, hiking, cycling.

No interest in sex or drinking, please don't suggest bars and the like.

Went to the expats club meeting at the weekend, forget it, I'm not yet ready to die, nothing there for me, my idea of hell (sorry).

[bobmac10]

1. you know a girl 30 years younger might, just might, want money for her and her family

2. if you don't speak thai, or she doesn't speak english very well, deep conversations are hard

3. stay away from ones with kids (more pressure for money) and who likes to drink

anyhow, it might be hard for an older lady to trust you. why is she single? she must learned some lessons. but i'm sure they are out there. You want a lady not near tourists, but then maybe her english isn't the best. i also wouldn't do the internet.

so, hmmmmmm...i would maybe take some local trips to the zoo, wat(s), chiang dao, etc....and take some local buses. find some local women, and just start by saying "hi." then walk around sunday market and see how it works (not ideal, but try it).

and, lastly, don't talk much about money at first. don't impress too much. they are not dumb women, they just think in a different language about the same things.

i agree,

check out if they like to drink, could be a problem in future.

also, beware of card players, it's addictive and they get in over their heads very quickly with a farang husband to bail them out.

make sure they are actually single, I know of women with a Thai boyfriend/husband and keeping a farang on the hook to keep them in money.

Meet the family as soon as possible and check out if they are decent hard working people or a bunch of lazy bludgers looking for the next handout.

[Evolare]

Well it depends on what your preferences are if ypu lookng fpr a younger girl she will be after your money if its an older lady that can still be the case unless she is already well of. But from my experience havong spent almost 2years in CM in total is that Chiang Mai ladies might be sweet talking but not honest.

all in all best advice is if you get to know some locals Thai people and then happend to meet someone throught them will give you a better chance at meeting someone good. But that will probably take more time than a quick fix if thats what your after. Also stay away from barladies and and heavy drinkers as many chiang mai women are.

[onthedarkside]

2 unhelpful posts removed.

[Dante99]

May I ask why you didn't look for a woman in your own country?

Because he would only find someone of a similar age, meaning the OP does not want to play Bingo twice a week or go on monthly coach outings with the Darby & Joan club.............

Could always introduce the ladies to connect 4.

Have you ever beaten a bar lady at connect 4/four in a row? They are not as dumb as many think. A lot of them have been married to farangs for 20+ years and performing very well as wives, business ladies and mothers. The problem today is that so many males do not recognize a good woman when they encounter one and are preoccupied with categorization, putting them in labeled boxes with mostly unimportant labels or misevaluation.

These threads are always more about the males than about the ladies.

[wombat]

pretty easy really....if you see a lady that stirs the loin...walk over and say..excuse me may i introduce myself....if she says yes,

then ..using a tried and true Australian method you ask

http://youtu.be/V9G_FWjbKsQ

Edited March 24, 2014 by wombat

[transam]

pretty easy really....if you see a lady that stirs the loin...walk over and say..excuse me may i introduce myself.

Or............. may l introduce my uncontrollable thing.................

[dotpoom]

Just be yourself, go with the flow and let it happen, not forcing it. I have always believed the person I am looking for is also looking for me. Don't accept for one minute that all Thai ladies are "stereo types"...."Why"....... you might ask, Because they are not......that's why. I have a friend that likes to meet the new ladies in his life in the shopping malls, either the ladies working there or shopping. If you believe there are really good ladies here ...you will attract them to you.....if you believe they are all no good...then that's exactly the type of person that you will attract.

[moto77]

Hello,

I would like to thank all the contributors who have replied so far. It is really nice that people are willing to take the time to give advice.

With regard to contributor Dante99, considering what I am seeking, Dante99 should consider how silly their question is in asking if I may be racist; yet maybe their question to me was not meant seriously.

I would also add that although I am not sure what the affect of marrying a Thai citizen is, I am given to understand that you are not then subject to the visa and also that you can then apply for a work permit.

Regards,

Robert333

Edit: OK, so I see you have an OA visa.

Which is not eligible for a work permit, just to clarify.

I've had good luck online. You might give that a try.

Edited March 24, 2014 by moto77

[ghworker2010]

There are some really nice, quality, conservative thai ladies out there and my gf is an example of this. It does involve a bit of luck but not impossible to find a good one. In normal daily life you should be able to meet one. Im in a relationship and thus not looking around but 1 month ago, I had a procedure done by an ENT dr. There were a few nurses there smiling at me asking the dr to ask me if I had a gf. A while ago I was at the pool doing laps and then had a rest and a thai girl was nearby and started talking. Turns out she is a radiologist. Once again, I was not interested but Im simply giving you examples of how a single bloke might meet girls in normal daily life. Learn some thai, keep smiling and look for the positive signs from the ladies. Choke dee

[kkchamling]

you can join chnlove.com which allow you to become member for south east asia site so you can choose good thai girls. those girls go there they are serious only. i was member for that site so i find the best so far.

[ggt]

If you ever did anything in the UK that worked, try it here. Meet and talk is bull shit, action man, it is about action. Why does it have to be a Thai lady, are you a racist?

Just because someone prefers Thai women...does not make them racist...comment speaks more to where your mind is...than his...

[Tony125]

May I ask why you didn't look for a woman in your own country?

Or the Philippines where the ladies are far more sincere, faithful, honest and trustworthy. Plus most educated Filipinas speak and write fluent English so you can have conversations.

Being a Catholic country there isn't as much superstitious nonsense to put up from them also

Why does,t he find a woman in his own country? Maybe because he's been burned by western type women and feels like a Thai girl might be different. And as far as going to Phillippines, PLEASE! I have a cousin who married a Pinay after WW2 and worked out fine but also know 2 friends who met online Pinays . 1 after marrying filed for divorice 2 weeks after landing in USA the other waited a few years till older guy found his wife had been running around with a young Phillippine guy in USA.for 2 years . 1st marriage was annuled by court second going for divorice. Doesn't mean can't happen with Thai but there is NO guarantee because they are catholic or speak (some) better english that it will work.

[ggt]

Robert,

Read at least 5 full length books on Thai culture including 2 or 3 by serious knowledgeable academics. Then ask yourself if this is what you want and can do. If you answer yes and do not have a lot of good ideas how to proceed, go someplace else.

Don't waste your time reading the books...take a holiday to a beach-side resort...visit Vietnam...If you have ANY breathing problems...Chiang Mai...may be the death of you...

[metisdead]

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[jsflynn603]

May I ask why you didn't look for a woman in your own country?

ROTFL---Circsman, you are such a funny guy.

[Tony125]

Robert333 I hope you saw Mesquite's post #18 that there is not much difference between a retirement (long term visa) and a marriage visa. Getting married you still would have to be under a visa but don't have to leave country every 90 days just report where you are living to immigration every 90 days. He also shows you what you can do on your own long term visa , don't need to marry to do it.

[Razer64]

Just live in Thailand, They will find you and then it's your decision as to who is right lady.

Same same as life anywhere.

john

Bingo.

My wife is '"Thai/Chinese", born and raised here in Thailand, went to America on her own dime twelve years ago, met me--here we are.

I find you can't shop for women the way you shop for cars. I've tried it and it never worked. Meeting women you might end up in a relationship with is more like being in a car accident. It happens when you aren't prepared for it and least expect it.

Furthermore, I think that many men, for the most part are pretty much deluded when it comes to women... I mean, think about it... Why are there NEVER any foreign European and/or American women coming to Asia, or anywhere else for that matter, to seek foreign men? Hmmmmmmm...

Live your life, my friend. The rest will fall into place behind you. Go out with bar girls, two and three at a time of course, wear a condom, and have yourself a good time.

[BritManToo]

I've been reading this thread to try and find places that would be helpful for finding foreign friends.

Every post seems to be about women,

does no poster care about making friends?

are all the posters obsessed with women?

I'm assuming most people posting are males 50+ in age.

Have you ever thought that looking for women and obsessing about women would be a pastime suitable for much younger men.

Friends, hobbies, retirement activities and our grandchildren are suitable subjects for men our ages.

Not chasing floozies,

Please, gentlemen, act your ages.

Enough with the obsessing about women.

Edited March 24, 2014 by BritManToo

[ota101]

Met my Udon Thani wife and after a year got married 15 years ago. This is after two disastrous marriages to American women that included 5 children and all the child support. I am 61 and she is now 40. I think her household ID was lost when Redshirts burned down government building a couple of years ago. Her American ID says age 42. Parents put her in school at age 3 and told school she was 5 for free babysitting.

We have two boys 9 and 12. She is a devoted mother and wife and a great cook. She was a librarian in Bangkok when I first saw her picture on the cover of a Christian singles magazine. (I'm Jewish) Now I know there are all kinds of Thai women. I got lucky and finally know who I will be married to until I die. Maybe it's because she is a devout Buddhist.

I knew financial security for her was a big factor but I didn't mind that. All women think of that. My two previous wives eventually found me boring and wanted to upgrade themselves.

My Thai wife likes that I am dependable and boring as she doesn't want surprises and likes to know I only have eyes for her. In my previous marriages they started out very hot and just went downhill from there. My Thai marriage started out wobbly but only went uphill as time went on. I find her more attractive now then when we first met. Although she has a Chinese temper it blows over in a predictable manner and time. She often can't keep her hands off me which I find puzzling still as my previous wives grew tired of me.

I used to pay her family $200 a month as a promise I made her father. He passed on and I can't send her mother money as it would be like blood in the water to a shark. That's unfortunate as I would like to help her out but it would never be enough and the bad luck stories would become unbearable.

All in all while I was still in my mid 40's, it was the best break in life I have had. My son's are the most precious thing in the world for me. They are respectful, loving and lovely to look at. My experience is that I will tell my boys in the strongest possible way to marry Thai wives when they get older.

[Ulysses G.]

Enough with the obsessing about women.

Obsessing about women is natural for heterosexual men of any age. It is the instinct that keeps the human race going.

[jsflynn603]

Let's see Robert, you have friendship to give, and don't have leprosy, elephantiasis, or are not in the third stage of syphilis (Note: I know this because A-O visa's require proof of freedom from those diseases under the Ministerial Regulation No. 14 B.E. 2535.

You could post a photo for us, after all you could weigh 400lbs and be missing all your front teeth... or tell us about your education and values.

Might you be interested in this one? She is a quite wonderful woman, speaks English at an Intermediate level, also speaks beginning German. She's a boatload of fun, very intelligent and makes the best Pad Thai that I've ever had. Only high school education but had she come to America several years ago she'd be an almost college grad now. She has one child which could be a negative for you. Doesn't fool around, does not "put out" for a foreigner, enough so that I can guarantee that she has no STI/STD's and requires intelligent and sincere wooing. She will not wai unless you happened to have just bought her something very special but is not very materialistic for a Thai woman. I think she's excellent wife material and in fact was her fiancee several years back. But we ran into a snag, in Thailand the US embassy will NOT let a child leave without explicit permission of birth parent and the father of her daughter, who she has not had a relationship since the birth of the child refused because Grandparents loves the child. Thus it turned into a no-go, dead in the water because I cannot live in Thailand and must work in the US for another 7 years. She's not thirty but, I think, often looks it. She lives in CM and works full time. She's never been a bar girl and her sexual background is about close to being saintly. (Contrary to popular belief, though ~12% of Thai woman work in the sex trade, 88% never do, and many of them are very sexually conservative and often quite prudish). She could give a hoot about how much money you have as long as you are respectful, respectable, decent looking, are in good shape, and can make her laugh. (She's not your typical Thai). She deserves a good, stable, loving husband and has quite a lot to give.

If you are interested send me a note and I'll give you my email address, then send some photos and a blurb about yourself as to why you are worthy. If I deem you worthy (if you are interested) I'll forward it to her and if she is interested she'll let me give you her email. I make no guarantees.

See attachment. I put a tiny photo because I don't want it spread around and scammers frequently grab photos to create false identities.

If not interested in this one here's a few pointers.

Read all you can on Thai culture, it's imperative to understand how Thais work, it is a unique and complex society.

As previously pointed out, flip flops, T-shirts, shorts and such belong on the beach, wear them in CM and you are instantly kee nok foreigner (bird poo covered foreigner). Everything, like it or not is about status and place in society. Every Thai, in a fraction of a second, be it a police officer, a maid, everyone sizes you up and places you in the continuum of social strata in about 1/10th of one second. In CM always wear long pants, a nice shirt and good shoes. Learn about wai and how to respond to one. Learn about the concept of wealth and learn that when, at a family gathering of 12 the cheque comes to you--that is quite the sign of honor and respect and Thailand is ALL about respect.

Don't underestimate thaifriendly.com, (free) thailovelinks and others. Search specifically for CM. The woman must have at least a beginner's grasp of English. Keep away from those under age 30, age 35+ preferable. Keep far, far away from any bar/massage parlor girls. You don't need economic parity, but you do need intellectual parity but that is a bit strange as so many never had opportunity, try to consider where a woman would be with her personality had she opportunity to better herself at college. You do need values parity. The best ones will not be looking, or will not be looking very hard. Of course all this is just my opinion.

Let me know by IM and if not, good luck.

[transam]

Met my Udon Thani wife and after a year got married 15 years ago. This is after two disastrous marriages to American women that included 5 children and all the child support. I am 61 and she is now 40. I think her household ID was lost when Redshirts burned down government building a couple of years ago. Her American ID says age 42. Parents put her in school at age 3 and told school she was 5 for free babysitting.

We have two boys 9 and 12. She is a devoted mother and wife and a great cook. She was a librarian in Bangkok when I first saw her picture on the cover of a Christian singles magazine. (I'm Jewish) Now I know there are all kinds of Thai women. I got lucky and finally know who I will be married to until I die. Maybe it's because she is a devout Buddhist.

I knew financial security for her was a big factor but I didn't mind that. All women think of that. My two previous wives eventually found me boring and wanted to upgrade themselves.

My Thai wife likes that I am dependable and boring as she doesn't want surprises and likes to know I only have eyes for her. In my previous marriages they started out very hot and just went downhill from there. My Thai marriage started out wobbly but only went uphill as time went on. I find her more attractive now then when we first met. Although she has a Chinese temper it blows over in a predictable manner and time. She often can't keep her hands off me which I find puzzling still as my previous wives grew tired of me.

I used to pay her family $200 a month as a promise I made her father. He passed on and I can't send her mother money as it would be like blood in the water to a shark. That's unfortunate as I would like to help her out but it would never be enough and the bad luck stories would become unbearable.

All in all while I was still in my mid 40's, it was the best break in life I have had. My son's are the most precious thing in the world for me. They are respectful, loving and lovely to look at. My experience is that I will tell my boys in the strongest possible way to marry Thai wives when they get older.

Nice story but your last sentence is wrong advice..

[JDGRUEN]

Just live in Thailand, They will find you and then it's your decision as to who is right lady.

Same same as life anywhere.

john

Bingo.

My wife is '"Thai/Chinese", born and raised here in Thailand, went to America on her own dime twelve years ago, met me--here we are.

I find you can't shop for women the way you shop for cars. I've tried it and it never worked. Meeting women you might end up in a relationship with is more like being in a car accident. It happens when you aren't prepared for it and least expect it.

Furthermore, I think that many men, for the most part are pretty much deluded when it comes to women... I mean, think about it... Why are there NEVER any foreign European and/or American women coming to Asia, or anywhere else for that matter, to seek foreign men? Hmmmmmmm...

Live your life, my friend. The rest will fall into place behind you. Go out with bar girls, two and three at a time of course, wear a condom, and have yourself a good time.

You are certainly naive ... Western women -- especially American women just simply do not like Asian men... that is why they don't come to places like Thailand looking for men... there are exceptions -- but few. And you are naive in another way because you have no idea that you are just lucky -- you found by accident a good woman... Reality -- it just does not happen that way in general .... get a grip - not everyone is like you... not everyone is a babe magnet like you...

[Pinot]

Loads of guys your age in the CM Hiking Club

http://chiangmaihiking.wordpress.com/

Join them any Sunday. There are usually two Sunday groups, 'really slow', and 'almost dead'.

Also hiking throughout the week for fitter people (cos we are a bit extreme).

I don't know if the Hash House Harriers are up there, but it's a good way of meeting many local expats.

Women...there are so many beautiful caring women around, dying to meet a farang. It's not that hard. Walk up and say hello and hand her a business card, "I like to meet you some time, give me a call."

Edited March 24, 2014 by Pinot

[mercman24]

Join "THAI FRIENDLY" lots of nice ladies on there, from all over Thailand, some genuine, others not, but ,hey ho, i have 3 coming round to use my pool and do unspeakable things to me, i must add, not all at the same time though, (message to brain,i must get more organised) ha ha

[transam]

Join "THAI FRIENDLY" lots of nice ladies on there, from all over Thailand, some genuine, others not, but ,hey ho, i have 3 coming round to use my pool and do unspeakable things to me, i must add, not all at the same time though, (message to brain,i must get more organised) ha ha

Yes, clean the pool.............

[Sheryl]

Learn Thai if you don't already speak it, and force yourself to make small talk with every Thai you have contact with ..in shops, the neighbors, etc. Doesn't matter that they may not be gf material, they'll have friends who may be.

If you do this and if you are open to a woman close to your own age, or at least over 40, and if you apply good sense in the process, there is an excellent chance of success with time.

Another thing that will help break the ice with strangers and get them talking to you is to get a dog, if you like them. Walking a dog -- especially a cute one -- breaks down barriers like magic, people come right up to you and start chatting about their own pet, asking about yours, etc. Thai women in particular will stop and ooh and ah over a dog they find cute or unusual. If you have by that point mastered enough Thai to chit chat, you're half way there already in terms of making a lot of Thai friends and sooner or later through them (or among one of them) you'll find the right lady.

The advice to make some Thai male friends is also spot on. Join a local gym or the like. As you acquire Thai male pals you can confide your interest in meeting a nice woman to them. And even prior to meeting the right lady, you'll already be less isolated in terms of friends.