Thai wife problems

[Superme]

Hello everyone. I thought that I will share my own experience with a Thai lady. Sorry in advance if I this post is in the wrong section. Also I believe that someone on this forum will read this and will not make the same mistake as I did. I met my wife a year ago. She was beautiful and lovely person. We are both a middle age but I felt that we had such a special connection between us. We called and FaceTime every single day. As soon as I finished work I runned home and start conversation. Sometimes 3-4 hours, sometimes more. Guys I'm 35 but I never felt like this. We were just the best mates. We had the same interest, like the music, traveling and even sex preferences. We had the same plans for a future. And the plan was very simple. We will get married and get a visa to join me and then live beautiful life, have kids and be happy. But there was only one requirement from my side. No lies. Whatever you did, good or not good tell me. Don't care about past but tell me. Be clear. She said she would never lie to me. So I was her 2nd farang. There was only one farang before me and I couldn't believe it but I agreed. It was hard for me to believe because I saw the other pics with her and other farang. After a couple months I discovered that this guy was her boyfriend too. I faced her with this fact and I broke with her because she lied to me. But she convinced me to come back. I started build slowly my trust again. Then we had a couple little fights and of course always was my fault. Let's get to the point. About 4 months ago I went to Thailand because I wanted to get married. Guys, everything has been changed since then. She was not much interested in me anymore, when I came back home she was always busy with friends, cleaning house etc. We have applied for a visa and everything was on the way to bring her into my country. Until last week. She went to meet friends. She said they will stay at the condo and cook together. She went to meet them quite early. After couple hours she switched phone off. I sent her millions messages on the messenger and there was only white circle which means messages was sent but not delivered. After 5 hours I saw that all my messages was delivered, so immediately I started text her to contact me but then again I only saw white circles. I knew something is going on. I went mad. She finally came back home at 1.30 am and she text me that her battery finished. If battery finished then how come she received all messages from messenger. There is only one answer. She went to meet someone and turned phone off, after she switched phone on and all messages poped on her screen, that's why I saw them delivered. And then she turned phone off again. The funniest thing about it is that she is angry on me and deleted me from Facebook and now we going to take divorce. It's all my fault because I caught her on lying, cheating on me. I spend last year chatting and visiting her. I took a good care of her. Pay her bills, buy presents etc, instead she removed me from her life so easy. There is much more aspects but I tried to keep this post short. Thanks for reading. 

[Sheryl]

Moved to Marriage and Divorce forum.

[steven100]

now where have I heard this story before ......

[Briggsy]

The key question :

 

What is/was her job?

[cornishcarlos]

1 hour ago, Briggsy said:

The key question :

 

What is/was her job?

 

Why ?

[sanemax]

So, You met a girl online, became infatuated with her 

Came to meet her and She didnt like you as much as you liked her

[Briggsy]

1 hour ago, cornishcarlos said:

 

Why ?

Because it is the key question (within the Thai context).

[Been there done that]

4 hours ago, Briggsy said:

Because it is the key question (within the Thai context).

Nonsense.  It only shows in what circles you hang out. Within the Thai context ofcourse.

[sanemax]

Just now, Been there done that said:

Nonsense.  It only shows in what circles you hang out. Within the Thai context ofcourse.

I do think that the question was whether she was a bargirl or not

It is quite important .

[uptheos]

Maybe she's relieved to be getting a divorce, remember we don't know you either.

 

[Been there done that]

13 minutes ago, sanemax said:

I do think that the question was whether she was a bargirl or not

It is quite important .

As if the morals of non bar girls are much different. In relation to us ofcourse.

[sanemax]

7 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

As if the morals of non bar girls are much different. In relation to us ofcourse.

If she was a professional felang player , where her whole life revolves around relieving felangs of as much money as they can , it would change the situation . 

    If she was gainfully employed in a office or something , it would make a difference as to whether she genuinely liked him, or whether she was just playing him along

[Been there done that]

48 minutes ago, sanemax said:

If she was a professional felang player , where her whole life revolves around relieving felangs of as much money as they can , it would change the situation . 

    If she was gainfully employed in a office or something , it would make a difference as to whether she genuinely liked him, or whether she was just playing him along

As if a woman, born, bred and indoctrinated in/by thai society suddenly wakes up and thinks, yes I want an emotional relationship with a foreigner. Get real mate.

[CharlieH]

Without wishing to sound cruel, she went fishing, got a bite, reeled it in, you were amusing and helped her polish her English and her act. It was then catch n release, and on to a bigger fish !! (IMHO).

[colinneil]

She said she would never lie to me.

Are you for real??

Every woman lies, i have one of the best wives a man could wish for, but sometimes even she lies.

Put it down to experience and move on.

[Rc2702]

It's the awareness of the message indicators which is worrying. It's kind of stalkerish and you seem more concerned you never got answers when you wanted them and jumped to conclusions which by the sounds of your post you likely verbalised. At this point she possibly thinks your a bunny boiler. Long distance relationships are never easy.

[Superme]

Not a bar girl. Worked for short period and then didn't work for a couple months. Started work 3 weeks ago again. 

[geriatrickid]

It isn't normal to bombard a woman with multiple messages in a period of a few hours demanding she contact you.  You sound like a very needy  and insecure individual. If a  Thai woman did this to me, I would bounce. Normal women have the same reaction to guys like that. 

 

Why is this the woman's fault? I believe you scared her and she did the right thing in avoiding you. Thais avoid confrontation and do not wish to hurt people's feeling so they do not come right out and say, who, ese you are creepy, go away. they just ignore and move on.

 

I suggest you seek out a life skills coach or therapist and discuss your needs and emotions. This expert will walk you through how to establish healthy stable relationships.

[petermik]

On 7/29/2017 at 6:21 PM, Superme said:

Not a bar girl. Worked for short period and then didn't work for a couple months. Started work 3 weeks ago again. 

There are thousands of available women here,move on,and next time just rent one

one day.hopefully you will come across a good one

[petermik]

On 7/29/2017 at 9:50 AM, colinneil said:

 

Every woman lies, i have one of the best wives a man could wish for, but sometimes even she lies.

 

Cannot agree Colin,in the four years I,ve been with my GF I,m not aware of any lies........if she ever did I would seriously consider my relationship with her,I know your situation is far more different to mine and some leeway in your case is understandable....good luck and keep smiling

[inThailand]

Lying is part of their culture. I bet she doesn't pick her nose either?

[colinneil]

30 minutes ago, petermik said:

There are thousands of available women here,move on,and next time just rent one

one day.hopefully you will come across a good one

Well mate i hope your right about your GF, but it is not considered to be serious here like it is in the west.

My wife does not lie about serious matters, just stupid little things.

Example, on saturday wife said today i go to funeral my friend,  she have accident with motorbike, ok stay safe.

I was told by another person the friend topped herself because husband had got a mia noi.

Silly things like that, but a lie none the less.

[Briggsy]

On 30/07/2017 at 1:21 AM, Superme said:

Not a bar girl. Worked for short period and then didn't work for a couple months. Started work 3 weeks ago again. 

Thank you for your reply.

 

Could you be more specific? My original question was " What is/was her job? "

 

I would also like to add a couple of questions.

 

" What would you estimate her net income (salary less tax, social welfare and other deductions) to be when in employment? "

" What would you estimate her total monthly expenditure including remittances to family and any finance payments or loan repayments to be ? "

 

Thanks again.

[Baerboxer]

I'm sorry to tell you that telling lies isn't regarded the same here as in the West. There is an expectation you will believe whatever is said and that lying for convenience is acceptable. The fact, once caught out, their credibility is blown, and you wonder how many past lies you missed, totally escapes them.

 

They are also not averse to changing things if they feel they can get better elsewhere. Don't expect loyalty. Whilst they can get their own way, be pampered, spoiled and not have to bother doing things - all is fine. As their ambitions grow then they simply outgrow the current farang and want to move upwards. 

 

Put it down to experience, and learning. Don't want what's already lost. It won't come back.

 

 

 

 

[Emster23]

I would count myself very very lucky that you got out of this before the big bills and disappointments set in. Really. Your task now is to review your own motivations. Consider this experience "tuition" paid to learn some important life lessons. Don't blow this chance. "Wanting to get married" has red flags all over it. Just anyone? Thai women are very skilled at reading our mental state and vulnerabilities. Part of their culture. If you don't spend the time and get your act together, you will be like a lamb to slaughter. There are good women here for sure, but plenty not so good.

[Straight8]

Nevermind OP, you are just another statistic, in the majority if it makes you feel better. Move on and put it down to a learning experience.

 

Thailand is not all smiles!!

 

 

 

[klauskunkel]

On 7/28/2017 at 8:21 PM, Superme said:

deleted me from Facebook and now we going to take divorce

deleted you from Facebook..., ouch! Can't repair that one.

[scorecard]

On 7/29/2017 at 3:38 PM, sanemax said:

If she was a professional felang player , where her whole life revolves around relieving felangs of as much money as they can , it would change the situation . 

    If she was gainfully employed in a office or something , it would make a difference as to whether she genuinely liked him, or whether she was just playing him along

 

Yes they do exist well outside the bar area.

 

Thai lady (previously owned her own law company) now mid 60s lives in my fairly new higher price range moo bahn has survived 3 farang official husbands in the last 20 years, all now deceased, all died suddenly and within 3 or 4 years of marriage, all were within same age to 5 years older than the lady when they met.

 

Her house is quite large, always spending money for further additions / beatification etc, has a full time gardener and 2 live-in maids. She has a BM and an expensive Honda in her garage.

 

She married number 4 about 1 year ago, he's about 80 and rather fraile.

 

She spends much time trying to convince other Thai ladies to get into various pyramid and other get rich quick schemes.

 

On the other hand female and male gold diggers exist in all countries. 

[transam]

 

On 7/29/2017 at 4:40 PM, CharlieH said:

Without wishing to sound cruel, she went fishing, got a bite, reeled it in, you were amusing and helped her polish her English and her act. It was then catch n release, and on to a bigger fish !! (IMHO).

Like.....

[transam]

10 minutes ago, klauskunkel said:

deleted you from Facebook..., ouch! Can't repair that one.

Plus it is unheard of....