Farang Married / GF Thai ask where you go?

[LivinLOS]

Obvious troll is obvious.. 

[Acemaker]

9 hours ago, juehoe said:

Thai women have a lot of friends. It is not a general sign to worry. Does your wife use Facebook? Normally they will post a lot of photos of these events. You can also ask to invite these friends at your home?

There is none so Blind as those that cannot see.

[atyclb]

perhaps attending self improvement classes at the Russian sex institute?

[Hannes Hedquist]

Dear OP. Of course it all depends on how other things in your relationship are and wether or not you have any " special agreements".

I, myself, would see it as positive as I like my own freedom. If wife goes out without telling me where, - so can I.

I also wouldn't put stronger bonds on her than I could endure myself. I believe in equity, in relationship and everything else.

Just please don't make the same mistake as I did I'm my marriage to my Thai wife : don't just assume she's with other men, got another husband, bf or so.

I had been so seriously hurt and let down by European women already when I came to Thailand I assumed it was the norm for all women.

My Thai wife is also very outgoing. I just thought - here we go again. What I did about it? Had, like thirty new " second wife's" over the years...

 Only to later find out that my wife had actually never, ever cheated on me.

Okay, i was young, mostly drunk to be honest. But it  (I) did in the end ruin a othervise beautiful marriage.

So please don't repeat my mistake.

Like the other guys said: - just chill and enjoy!

Good luck!

[alwaysrainsinUK]

2 hours ago, Pungdo said:

My wife doesn't even say she is going half the time, just jumps on her bike and leaves, doesn't even bother closing the gate, but then again she was born in a tent and doesn't close anything 555

 

15 yrs married an mines never closes the front door no matter how many times u remind her , <deleted> is wrong with these people lol

         All i see an hear near the 1st an 16th of each mth is a load of numbers being lined up lol. Cant complain cause i go see my friends an she dont even notice im gone but at 4am shes sat there with the garden hose to drown me staggering back in Haha.

 

The OP should just start giving her the same replys and get out there tiger and enjoy thy self.

    

[Bangkok Barry]

The FB thing is a huge red flag. What doesn't she want you to see. Ask to come along to meet her friends. No, tell her you are coming along as you have nothing else on at the moment. I'll bet that she'll suddenly not be able to meet up with them after all. As others have suggested, it might be a gambling thing which is fraught with danger. Or she could be seeing her 'brother'.

[csabo]

10 hours ago, Justfine said:

Sounds highly suss. Which friends? What are there names?

 

 

Dick and Willy

[ThaiFelix]

I wouldnt worry about it.  She is probably just off gambling, visiting her Thai husband or maybe her Thai boyfriend, or possibly going to the ATM to check and see if the money has come through from her various farang boyfriends back in the UK, Australia or Germany.

[csabo]

3 hours ago, yankee99 said:

best thing in the world ...dont ask where shes going and hopefully she wont ask where your going. In the west i hat3d those check phone calls "where are you, who you with and when are you coming home"

I got the best way to avoid those calls. Before I head out the door I leave my phone under her pillow. She can call it all night of she wants. 

[speckio]

 

have you ever met her friends? invite them over... Ask why they never come over and you would like to meet them.

 

If she gets squirrely or defensive about it, then something is probably amiss.  

[catman20]

OP if you had to ask the question you know its not normal.

[catman20]

34 minutes ago, Acemaker said:

There is none so Blind as those that cannot see.

should it not read

 There is none so Blind as the fool that cannot see ?

[catman20]

10 hours ago, colinneil said:

OP take a chill pill, you are overreacting, keep calm or it will become a big issue.

Many Thai ladies have many friends, give your wife a bit of space, please.

If you dont ,it could lead to problems.

im not married but have lived with a couple of ladies over the years and both of them had very few friend as they said if have many friends have many problems. i know your situation is a lot different from most.

[Justfine]

1 minute ago, catman20 said:

im not married but have lived with a couple of ladies over the years and both of them had very few friend as they said if have many friends have many problems. i know your situation is a lot different from most.

Some do

Some dont

 

Same as any country.

 

The lack of info and fb access is a problem. She should say where she is going. Why did she get married? Must be $ if she cant talk.

[jackspade]

If you have to ask, she's cheating on you.

 

This has always been true in my experience.

 

I wouldn't even think of marring a woman who would frequently hold back details where she was going or what she was doing, and I am not a jealous person, just a normal one. The respectable Thai women that I have dated have always been very happy to share details of their outings with friends. i.e., taking selfies of themselves and their friends and sending them to me, coming home and telling me exactly what they all did together, etc.  Often I don't even care about hearing the details but they are just happy to share, because intimacy is sharing.

 

The few times in my life during a serious relationship when information like you describe was held from me raised suspicions which were almost always later confirmed.

 

It is easy to be misled, no matter how smart a man you are, but especially in Thailand, where farang-thai relationships often seem to involve more "drama" than farang-farang relationships back home. I would be highly suspicious.

 

While respecting her personal privacy as much as possible, if I were you I would try to catch her doing something incriminating.  Find out where she is going.

Edited March 8, 2018 by jackspade

[MaeJoMTB]

16 minutes ago, jackspade said:

If you have to ask, she's cheating on you.

Cheat back .... it's fun and a national Thai hobby.

[1FinickyOne]

In the village that would be an impossible question for my wife to answer... she might head to her aunt's house and if she is not there go to a different friend or relative, have soup together for 3 hours, who knows? She sure has no idea, but she has a phone if I want to talk with her...

 

And the same is true for me when I go into town, depending upon my mood I could be any number of places or with anyone I might bump into or call...

 

We are adults. We do things together, we do things apart - 

[Gracas]

1 hour ago, csabo said:

Dick and Willy

Could be, if her name is Kitty.

[snowgard]

8 hours ago, DJ54 said:

Thanks all! She has FB but she won’t “Friend”me. Enjoy the day

Maybe a fake FB account with photos of handsome and rich man would help you!!! ;-)

[Stevemercer]

It is quite normal for a Thai wife not to volunteer where she is going or what she is doing. Normally you have to go through the 20 questions routine if you want to find out. This quickly gets boring for both parties.

 

Having said that, you should on her FaceBook and Line etc. Then you can see her photos, and photos from her friends, showing what they are doing most of the time. If she refuses to have you on FB, then she is hiding something.

 

As others have suggested, if she is being deliberately secretive, it is most likely she is off gambling (playing cards) with friends.

[jackspade]

1 minute ago, Stevemercer said:

As others have suggested, if she is being deliberately secretive, it is most likely she is off gambling (playing cards) with friends.

 

Or it could be an innocent game of UNO.

Edited March 8, 2018 by jackspade

[Justfine]

3 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

It is quite normal for a Thai wife not to volunteer where she is going or what she is doing. Normally you have to go through the 20 questions routine if you want to find out. This quickly gets boring for both parties.

 

Having said that, you should on her FaceBook and Line etc. Then you can see her photos, and photos from her friends, showing what they are doing most of the time. If she refuses to have you on FB, then she is hiding something.

 

As others have suggested, if she is being deliberately secretive, it is most likely she is off gambling (playing cards) with friends.

Not normal at all. If you cannot talk to your wife the marriage isn't much good. More like flatmates.

[SOTIRIOS]

...buddy...

 

...go with your gut...and your gut tells you something is amiss...???

 

...if she won't friend you on Facebook...you don't exist....

 

..where.... when... how and why did you marry in the first place....

 

...does anyone even know you are married.....was is registered.....???

 

...you don't give many details...but there are horrible situations that many hapless foreigners find themselves in....

 

...after the fact....

 

...good luck...hope you have not invested too much in this marriage to date...

 

 

[snowgard]

22 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

It is quite normal for a Thai wife not to volunteer where she is going or what she is doing.

My wife tell me every time where she is going and when she come back. Just if she jump to a neighbour for some minutes.

 

[ThaiFelix]

The OP had an earlier post asking for advice because his wife and her "brother" wanted him to invest in an existing massage parlor in Pattaya.  Maybe she goes out practicing her massages, and maybe with the "brother"?  Maybe he doesnt want to invest in it so she is playing some game to force him to invest just to win her back?

 

Or maybe he is just a troll?

[Justfine]

1 minute ago, ThaiFelix said:

The OP had an earlier post asking for advice because his wife and her "brother" wanted him to invest in an existing massage parlor in Pattaya.  Maybe she goes out practicing her massages, and maybe with the "brother"?  Maybe he doesnt want to invest in it so she is playing some game to force him to invest just to win her back?

 

Or maybe he is just a troll?

Going to fleece him

[MaeJoMTB]

13 minutes ago, snowgard said:

My wife tell me every time where she is going and when she come back. Just if she jump to a neighbour for some minutes.

 

My wife tells me nothing, she doesn't tell our kids either.

Just wanders off.

The rule is back at the house by 9pm or no 'monthly stipend'.

[Justfine]

9 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

My wife tells me nothing, she doesn't tell our kids either.

Just wanders off.

The rule is back at the house by 9pm or no 'monthly stipend'.

You pay her?

[samsensam]

 

the more a partner asks me where i'm going, what i'm doing, etc. the less i'm prepared to co-operate with their paranoia,  and jealousy.

 

if you dont trust her why did you marry her?

[theguyfromanotherforum]

If my wife did this to me I'd kick her out of her own house :)