1 hour ago, roo860 said:

Well, Americans did get the Ford cliTaurus. But very few male buyers could remember where it was, and those who did couldn't start it.

17 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Well, Americans did get the Ford cliTaurus. But very few male buyers could remember where it was, and those who did couldn't start it.

It was also laid up in the garage for a few days every month until it got too old to be worth driving anyway!

7 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Quite! It's the answer to HALF of all problems.

Duct tape is for when stuff moves, that shouldn't.

Now, when stuff doesn't move that should, you have WD40, being the other half.

We professional engineers know these things 🙄

Off topic trolling posts removed.

@Yellowtail @jvs take this as a final warning, the topic is “Worst Joke Ever 2026” and not for your bickering.

Posts bringing politics into this topic have been removed as this is the Worst Joke Ever 2026 topic. If you would like to post political related content, you can do it here:

Politics, PC, un-PC, any subject, Satire via MEME or Vid (shorts)

Enjoy the Fun & the Pun.

Q: Can February March?

A: No. But April May!

Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!

Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better not tell you, it might spread!

Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?

A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

Q: Music Teacher: What's your favourite musical instrument?

A: Kid: The lunch bell!

Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?

A: You’re pointless!

Q: What do you call a ghosts mom and dad?

A: Transparents!

Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?

A: A Barbercue!

Q: What do you call a person that chops up cereal

A: A cereal killer!

Q: What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry?

A: Urgent Tina!

Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?

A: A heavy discussion!

Q: What kind of emotions do noses feel?

A: Nostalgia!

Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

A: Thunderwear!

Q: What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?

A: Trouble!

Q: Where do boats go to when they get sick?

A: The dock!

Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?

A: A Mer-Maid!

Q: Why can't a leopard hide?

A: Because he's always spotted!

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: Why did the barber win the race?

A: Because he took a short cut!

Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: It saw the salad dressing!

Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?

A: To get a root canal!

Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?

A: Because they're all in High School!

Q: Why was the maths book sad?

A: Because it had too many problems!

Two hippies were riding the bus when a nun got on with her leg in a cast.

The bus driver asked "What happened sister?"

The nun answered "I fell and broke my leg getting out of the bathtub".

1st hippies asks his pal "What's a bathtub?".

2nd hippie says "How should I know? I'm not Catholic."

53 minutes ago, ravip said:

rEnjoy the Fun & the Pun.

Q: Can February March?

A: No. But April May!

Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!

Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better not tell you, it might spread!

Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?

A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

Q: Music Teacher: What's your favourite musical instrument?

A: Kid: The lunch bell!

Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?

A: You’re pointless!

Q: What do you call a ghosts mom and dad?

A: Transparents!

Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?

A: A Barbercue!

Q: What do you call a person that chops up cereal

A: A cereal killer!

Q: What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry?

A: Urgent Tina!

Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?

A: A heavy discussion!

Q: What kind of emotions do noses feel?

A: Nostalgia!

Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

A: Thunderwear!

Q: What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?

A: Trouble!

Q: Where do boats go to when they get sick?

A: The dock!

Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?

A: A Mer-Maid!

Q: Why can't a leopard hide?

A: Because he's always spotted!

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: Why did the barber win the race?

A: Because he took a short cut!

Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: It saw the salad dressing!

Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?

A: To get a root canal!

Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?

A: Because they're all in High School!

Q: Why was the maths book sad?

A: Because it had too many problems!

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7:

A: Because 7 8 9!

Q: What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

A: Close the door, I'm dressing.