Why did god kill all the herbivore dinosaurs?

He liked his salads a little meteor.

 

What is a herbivore’s favourite sandwich?

A trees-burger!

Apropos nothing;

•    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
   
•    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo. 
   
•    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now. 
   
•    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
   
•    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. 
   
•    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.  
   
•    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.   I just can't put it down.
   
•    I did a theatrical performance about puns.   It was a play on words. 
   
•    Why were the Indians here first ?   They had reservations. 
   
•    I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me. 
   
•    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils ? 
 
•    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?   A thesaurus. 
   
•    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

 

No offence meant to anyone but I cannot resist posting this;

 

Two pilots are on a routine flight.

One is a an English man with over 22 years of experience as a pilot. His co-pilot is a Iranian-American man who started the job just 2 months ago. This was the first time the two have flown together, so small talk is very little.

The Brit guy decides to break the ice. "So, you know anything about nuclear physics?" 

"I'm not really sure," replied the other guy. "But what I don't understand is how in my village the  goat's droppings is in pebbles while a horse's droppings are just giant rocks. These animals are herbivores yet an eagle's droppings are liquid despite being a bird of prey."

The older Brit man was amazed and thanked the rookie for teaching something he did not know, only for the Iranian-American man ask,

 

"Then how the f99k can we talk about nuclear physics if you don't know sh&t?"

????

22 minutes ago, overherebc said:

????

I assume you must drink coffee now,  I mean after you got out of hospital that is?

I put a world map up on the kitchen wall this morning then gave the wife a dart.
I said "Here you are love. Throw this dart at the map and wherever it lands I'll take you there for a holiday when this virus thing is all over".
We're spending two weeks behind the fridge!!!

The Chinese government are celebrating an achievement that even the great empires of history never managed.

They’ve coronised the whole world.

demos get blinded by the talented one...

 

biden will be singing into his bidet after this one ???? 

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour?”
But, April didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time April jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that bloody thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your <deleted>!"
The teacher fainted

For sale. One DeLorean. Limited miles, very good condition. 

Only driven from time to time!

On 9/7/2020 at 8:29 PM, chickenslegs said:

Reminds me. When they built the new  Manchester City  football stadium ,they were going to name one of the stands after Colin Bell the1970's player .

Until someone said it will get known as the Bell End.