3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

h) Who is this Rumak? ???? 

A polish guy? 

43 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

I have always felt my problems are mine to deal with and I have never imposed upon my friends.  I would not like to be a burden to the people I love and care about.  Neither a borrower nor a lender be. 

First sentence accepted, but as in my example true friends insist on being 'imposed upon' on occasion

 

Second sentence agree, but never under estimate the pleasure that helping out a friend in need can provide, don't push the people you love and care about away

 

Third sentence - disagree, regular people can hit a little financial difficulty, to me being a friend would mean if necessary putting my hand in my pocket - whether there would be anything in there to assist however is debatable as my wife is in charge of the money ???? but yes on occasion we have 'been there' for people and so far not lost out

27 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

i have two friends in the USA who would come and get me if I needed help if I asked them to.

 

two American friends in Hua Hin who I can text if I need some minor local assistance. 

hey, you got me too .  MINOR being the operative word   ????

25 minutes ago, 473geo said:

1 hour ago, villagefarang said:

I have always felt my problems are mine to deal with and I have never imposed upon my friends.  I would not like to be a burden to the people I love and care about.  Neither a borrower nor a lender be. 

First sentence accepted, but as in my example true friends insist on being 'imposed upon' on occasion

 

Second sentence agree, but never under estimate the pleasure that helping out a friend in need can provide, don't push the people you love and care about away

 

Third sentence - disagree, regular people can hit a little financial difficulty, to me being a friend would mean if necessary putting my hand in my pocket - whether there would be anything in there to assist however is debatable as my wife is in charge of the money ???? but yes on occasion we have 'been there' for people and so far not lost out

I would never suggest others follow my example.  I am just putting it out there as something which has worked for me as a person who has spent his entire adult life in Thailand, far from family and childhood friends.  Independence and self-reliance is how I have survived.

59 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

i have two friends in the USA who would come and get me if I needed help if I asked them to.

 

two American friends in Hua Hin who I can text if I need some minor local assistance. 

'You' have friends?

any person that would be friends with someone like me is a person I wouldnt want to associate with.

14 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

I would never suggest others follow my example.  I am just putting it out there as something which has worked for me as a person who has spent his entire adult life in Thailand, far from family and childhood friends.  Independence and self-reliance is how I have survived.

Understand - I come from a farming community where even if a person was not popular you would not see them struggle, if you had the means to assist, I guess it kinds stays with you. 

I have on a few occasions helped people out in the village when they appeared to need an extra hand, as we did in the UK, a truck load of straw would attract the local youth to help unload, never did me any harm in the UK or Thailand, and yes often reciprocated.

For sure differing lifestyles require differing approaches

Re: your Australian friend. He was on verge of breakdown, nasty divorce, right? I would guess he might not be the most pleasant outgoing  happy camper mate during that time. He needed someone he trusted so could unload some of that ugliness that was eating him up, and you were that person.

 I think there is probably some sort of limit to how many friendships the average person can keep, and varies from person to person. Less than a 100, maybe more like 10.

 I have friends here and back in the states that i know would come thru for me in a pinch.

 It is sad when those you've done favors for won't do the same for you. I suppose best attitude is to assume you do it because old golden rule bit, knowing others may not hold that view. "Virtue is it's own reward" or curse....?

No real friends in Thailand anymore. 3 have died and the rest have already left Thailand for other retirement destinations.

No human friends .

When I listen ' believe me ' or ' trust me ' , I close the door .

Me and my lovely mia take care for 10 dogs . These are the best friends I could ever have . No lying ...

11 hours ago, villagefarang said:

I have always felt my problems are mine to deal with and I have never imposed upon my friends.  I would not like to be a burden to the people I love and care about.  Neither a borrower nor a lender be. 

 

“Neither a borrower nor a lender be” was a phrase drummed into me often by my mother. I took it to heart but later in life realized that she was quite a mean old bird and that there is a beauty in giving. She was wealthy and sociable and had loads of ‘friends’ yet when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s (and long before she lost it) ALL of those so-called friends abandoned her. It was dreadful to witness.

 

Although I am self-sufficient and independent too, there have been a few occasions through my life when I have really needed assistance. The <deleted> can hit the fan when you are least prepared for it. That’s when you find who your real friends are.

 

Apart from my wife who is No.1, I have five people in Thailand who I’d put into the category of very close friends, two are Thai and the rest foreigners. I care deeply for all of them and would help them out with my time or my money at the first sign of need.

A bit long that post, you got carried away there..

 

One way I think you can judge a 'friend' is if something happened to you outside of immediate family how many would really care?

Upcountry we call that family... my wife has a large family and extended family and they are all great people... there is an unspoken understanding that whatever happens we are there for each other... and after 20 years, the proof has been in the pudding, as we say...

 

And yes, I have other expats who I would consider friends... "needs" are not really factored in as most are pretty independent but within reason, help can be offered on wither part.. but none of us are looking for dependents. I have friends, to talk, to share. Yes, I would drive them someplace in case of emergency and make a hospital visit... but, it has some limitations, as opposed to family... 

 

Though, not sure what you are expecting from Adult Disneyland there... you are living in a fantasy based concept where Minnie Mouse will go home with you for the night and a fee... you would not go to an amusement park looking for lasting friendships, would you? 

 

When you were deciding to live in Pattaya, was that a factor in your decision? 

Never rely on anyone as most of the time they will let you down and as for real friends you should be able to count them on one hand .

My real friends are from back where I come from and the ones I have here are more off acquaintances and the fickle ones vanished when I stopped being their atm and personal bank manager !!

Out of all the people I have met or know here I would class two out of maybe 50 people I know well as friends in the true sense.

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate ????

One real friend in Thailand and one left in home country (they all gradually stopped communicating).

When I first came to Thailand I thought having friends was essential to help adjust in my new life, and I actively tried to foster relationships here. Turned out I was mainly considered new blood (money) by most and was ripped off by several expats. Initially angry, I realized how pathetic they were and just felt sorry for them - from a distance.

When my internet was down for some days, and I needed to do urgent banking (house bound at the time), I asked a neighbor if I could get his Wi-Fi password to use briefly, he refused. A couple of years later the situation was reversed and, when I mentioned his earlier refusal, he claimed no memory of the incident. I still let him use my link, but don't consider him as an actual friend.

When I became very ill, and was considered by some to be on the way out, only one expat visited. Considered a rat bag by many in the community, he would sit at my bedside frequently and bring coffee and doughnuts in case I was able to imbibe. Other so-called friends disappeared completely during this time.

Years later he is still around (as am I) and I regard him as a genuine friend. 

Most of my friends are still the one's I had back in the school days and continued throughout my life. Some have visited us in Thailand. We stay with some when we visit the States.

One flew my wife and me to the States to babysit his dog while he and his wife went on vacation. Another time, he flew us to Shanghai to hangout before he had to buckle down to work. 

When I had to go in for a very costly surgery, here in Thailand, offers to cover the costs came pouring in from Thai friends (they didn't know I had insurance).

I have few friends. But, those I have are true friends.

"Friends" (local Thai or own kind) have different categories. Use time, experience and intuition to put them in. And act accordingly. 

16 hours ago, wgdanson said:

too much to read

 

But not too much bother for you to try and belittle someone else with your stupid comment.

You only need one really good friend in my opinion, and I have that. I also consider my wife to be in that category as well.

2 hours ago, Emdog said:

I think there is probably some sort of limit to how many friendships the average person can keep, and varies from person to person. Less than a 100, maybe more like 10.

In reality 2 or 3, maybe a couple more if you don't have a family.

How much time do you have in a day?

3 minutes ago, fordguy61mi said:

You only need one really good friend in my opinion, and I have that. I also consider my wife to be in that category as well.

Your wife is the single most likely person in the world to deliberately harm or betray you.

And the person she's most likely to do it with is your closest friend.

The divorce rates don't lie.

18 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

If your a older expat living in Thailand, how many real friends can you count ?

 

Mates to have/buy/share a beer with probably 40-50 or more.

 

True mates who would loan me money in a pinch 2 

 

 

14 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

But will he bail you out?

It's a 'she', so no. A couple of weeks ago the slut had sex with the neighbours dog despite all the security arrangements in place when she is on heat. The missus went to the village clinic and came back with 5, for women, anti-baby pills, the dog was to swallow all of them at once, it was a struggle but it worked, afterwards she slept a lot but shows no sign of interest in the male dogs and isn't pregnant according to the vet.

1 hour ago, phantomfiddler said:

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate ????

Nothing better than a warm personal enemy, over the years you become dependant on one another and a sort of grudging respect forms.

I learned early in life that having friends or best friends is just an illusion to fulfill something missing in ones own self. My only real true friends are my first American wife of 36 years that passed away and my current Thai wife.  But I do have many close acquaintances and I have had many coworkers that I have enjoyed life with.  But I have never let anyone get close enough to be called a friend.  I told myself at 19 that I would never again let anyone else have that trust and it has been that way since.  I will never put myself in the path of dyre consequences again because of the illusion that a person is a friend that can be trusted. I've had a way happier life with this attitude.  Good luck to anyone who thinks they really have or needs one.  Many people cannot tell the difference between a friend or an acquaintance and thinks or needs to think that they have many friends.  A friend is only a friend if the trust you give them is resiprocated.

2 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

Nothing better than a warm personal enemy, over the years you become dependant on one another and a sort of grudging respect forms.

I always kill mine within the month.

Sorry stopped reading after 3 paragraphs my eyes started closing Yawn Yawn.

I have family,dont need " friends" for anything

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A friend is someone you can confide in and not have to worry about them betraying your trust.
 
I have learned over time that there is no one that measures up...[emoji37]

My father told me when i was young " trust nobody" best way to look at life,then your never dissapointed [emoji4]

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