With all the crapola going on in the world I thought I'd start something a little more lighthearted. This isn't about slagging off on Thailand but more of observed cultural differences that you may not have adapted to your own way of life yet. ????

 

You haven't lived in Thailand long enough if.....

you still think a roll of tissue is for wiping your behind and not your fingers at the table

you still walk down the street to visit your neighbor instead of riding your motorcycle

you haven't had friends and/or relatives over to cook and eat on the floor

you can't manage your wife, 3 kids, a friend and the dog on your Honda Wave

You've never worn a garbage bag to ride you bike to the market in the rain

 

just a few to get things started. Enjoy ????

You haven't had to visit the chemist for an anti-biotic !

You haven't visited a 7/11 with a dog sat cold section.

You haven't met a man that says 'She loves me'.

You haven't woken up with something that looks right out of a disney movie.

You haven't been terrified on a motorbike taxi crossing the railway lines.

You haven't wondered why you get the grumpy old woman and not the hottie in immigration.

 

Have you ever seen a middle aged farang male trying to dance Thai style? I don't think there's anything in this life more ridiculous than that.

If you don't experience grief, whilst longing for the "old days", when you walk down Soi Honey.

... you still ask "why?" and look for logic in Thailand.

Don't ask "why?". There is no logic. Accept it and life is so much easier.

 

5 hours ago, mrwebb8825 said:

You haven't lived in Thailand long enough if.....

You think your woman is different.

5 hours ago, mrwebb8825 said:

You haven't lived in Thailand long enough if.....

 

...... you think it's better than you thought it was prior to you coming here.

Yeah, the author of this article is spewing trashy sarcasm....  the ways if the world are many, but the authors vision is narrow!

This place is ok, just need to get rid of Elvis and his true blue stooges. Hey and being an old farang, I like to dance like an old Thai at times. The wife hates it but the old girls think its cool.

If you still use a knife for anything other than buttering bread.

Or if you dig the ground without being aware that there may be a blue water pipe just below the surface.

(which I did this morning) ????

If you're surprised when you see Thai people putting ketchup on pizza.

7 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

You haven't had to visit the chemist for an anti-biotic !

You haven't visited a 7/11 with a dog sat cold section.

You haven't met a man that says 'She loves me'.

You haven't woken up with something that looks right out of a disney movie.

You haven't been terrified on a motorbike taxi crossing the railway lines.

You haven't wondered why you get the grumpy old woman and not the hottie in immigration.

 

You haven't wondered why you get the grumpy old woman and not the hottie in immigration.

 

I think she is always on duty when I go in. Imagine you marry something like that. 

2 minutes ago, BenDeCosta said:

If you're surprised when you see Thai people putting ketchup on pizza.

Or pineapple jam on her fried eggs.

 

If you still find the odor of durian offensive

you have not been robbed by ladyboys,

been robbed by the police,

been robbed while you are helpless in your hospital bed,

been robbed by your maid,

been robbed by your best booty call you have known for years,

been robbed by your cat. 

 

 

 

 

You've never seen a ghost.

you expect your wife to apologize

You haven't been called darkling and thought what a funny accent...

you think that the thai smile is genuine

You think that enforcement of traffic laws and helmet laws will decrease road carnage.

 

You think that enforcing burning laws will clear the air.

 

You still think that supervising the workers will result in higher quality work at your house.

 

You think you understand what a Thai is feeling/thinking when they smile. 

 

You think that brake failureis an actual cause of accidents.

 

You think that motorcycle drivers would fix the lights on their bikes if they had the money.

 

You think that  Thai people wearing cannabis leaf shirts know what the pattern is.

 

You think that Thai people understand and abide by the precepts of Buddhism.

 

You think that it's possible to convince a Thai person that they have made a mistake or misunderstood something.

 

You think that saying 'Mai pet' when ordering food will decrease the peppers in it.

 

You think it's true when told that you are a handsum man.

 

You think that 'buy one get one free' is a bargain.

 

You think that a stainless steel product won't show rust inside a week after buying it.

 

You think that the word 'loan' can be properly translated into Thai.

 

You think a vehicle driving the wrong way down the shoulder of the road has taken a wrong turn.

 

You think that the driver of the truck that just cut you off in traffic didn't see you behind them.

 

You think that using your car horn is a useful way to alert other drivers.

 

You think that the hours posted in front of any establishment indicate the time they will open or close.

 

You think that the price posted next to an item in a store is the price you will pay when you check out.

 

You think that price is an indicator of the quality of an item you buy.

 

 You think there is no way to make velcro, pencils , erasers, paper clips, staplers, pens, and even paper that doesn't actually work.

 

You think that flushing toilet paper just once won't clog the sewer.

 

You think it's safe to drive at night because you aren't going very far.

 

You think it's safe to use a crosswalk because it's marked and the light is red.

 

You think that having insurance means you are insured.

 

Yeah I have done most of those things too.  I lived and worked in many countries, kept a log of good and bad and finally ended up deciding on Thailand when I retired 16 years ago and haven't regretted it at all.  I don't like "burning season" nor the 90-day report but other than that I have no real complaints.  I love it here and think that I always will.  I have been through many of the changes of govt during my working days as well as now in retirement and even with the changes, most things just stay the same.  As I see, around the world not that many people seem happy with their govt either so I don't complain about the govt here at all.

4 hours ago, BenDeCosta said:

If you're surprised when you see Thai people putting ketchup on pizza.

Or mayonnaise...

Yawn.....

You still think that taking your dog for a nice stroll around at midday, like you did at home, is a great idea for you both.  If your dog is Thai, it will hide until you leave, as it knows what midday heat feels like, If it is a farang dog that you brought will you it will be as clueless as you, until it goes out the once, then you will never it again until 6pm in the evening. 'mad dogs and Englishmen' has never been a truer saying than here, just check out the sea fronts and pool areas. The only place for sensible men at midday is in bed, in an airconned room, with a young beauty, failing that, with your wife. 

You believe Thailand is a Modern, forward looking Nation.

If it BOTHERS you that......

 

1.   a kid is going to the bathroom on the sidewalk

2.  water buffaloes are crossing the street

3.  ladyboys touch you in public

4.  the price changes because you are the falang

5.  traffic laws are always against you

6.  people say Falang all-day

7.  nobody speaks English, and your English is getting worse

8.  noise can happen anytime, from anywhere

9.  you got scammed for 100 baht

10.  her picture on Tinder is absolutely not what she really looks like

11.  someone shows up 19 hours late and says, "Thai time."
12.  You went to Immigration 1000 times and you still have to go back

If you're surprised that many hotels have a discount rate for a stay of only 3 hours.

You think she’s saying semen truck instead of cement truck. 

You honestly believe your Thai wife will follow your 'sensible' advice when a Thai friend suggests she do it some other 'ridiculous' way.

You haven’t lived in Thailand  long enough if you can’t figure out how to open the plastic bags filled with food held closed by a rubber band….without spilling the hot contents all over yourself.