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Being scared to talk to other farang


georgegeorgia

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7 hours ago, Will B Good said:

It's a shame to think a 'normal' person might just want to have a chat with a stranger and you are so wary, but I am.

 

Have they been drinking, how are they dressed, how do they approach you, are they with anyone, if they turn nasty can you handle yourself?

 

Sad, in many ways that those things go through my mind.

Normal.

Whatever that is.

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I live in the country. There are about two or three dozen farang living in the locality. About half I have met so I will say hello and talk a bit if I run into them.

 

We don't get many tourists so I'll introduce myself to any new farang I see in case they are a local. Even now, after 5 or 6 years, I'm still surprised to meet farang who live within 5 km of our town and who say they have been living here for 20 years or more. I guess some people don't get out much.

 

My view is that there are not so many of us out here and we should be available to offer support if really needed.

 

Of course, some farang just ignore me. I guess there are one or two who don't like me. Some gentleman are very insecure and jealous and get <deleted> off if I smile at their wives/girlfriends. A few are not confident in English or are just not of a hospitable nature to strangers. For example, people my age from East Germany grew up with Russian as their second language and may get on better with their countrymen.

 

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Cannot stigmatize,  as seedy people are as much amongst thai's as with westerners.

 

Could be men, women or teenagers. Sad, but that's how most societies are all over the world. Nothing very new.

 

With this in consideration, one plainly needs to uses one's own instinct and common sense on the environment, the body language, the general aspect and attitude of the individual.

 

Not nice to judge others by the looks or first approach, but unfortunately it can often have sense.

 

One obviously would not react the same when a half tipsy farang pulls you over in a night club or if it's at the bus stop with a map in hand ? or in a crowded market ?

 

One golden rule however.

 

Always keep a safe distance in such random public interactions. To avoid either a sneaky pickpocket maybe ?  or a sudden dirty punch perhaps to grab one's cash ?  and now,  to obviously avoid any virus transmission !!!

 

One golden rule in Thailand however.

 

Never, never talk politics or criticize the power in public with anybody.

 

Even with an acquaintance or business partner.

 

 

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I had someone give me a sob story in front of the flipper house. Norway guy said his money was stolen and he had to move out of his hotel, he just wanted enough money to get to his embassy in bangkok. Gave him about 300 baht. A year later I saw him acting lost and confused on Pratumnak hill. I mentioned to first encounter but he said I must be mistaken. A few weeks later I saw him behind Big C extra doing the same old thing. I mentioned the previous two encounters. He disappeared. A few weeks later I saw him around the north end of 2nd road with some other foreigners. I didn't say anything I just kept walking. Gave a Russian man money for a joint business. He was supposed to pay the initial money back. The business went bust he disappeared. Found out later he forged a signature. Did a joint bar business with an American. He sold the business and didn't pay me back. Found out later he forged a locals signature. I had him charged and after court he went to jail for a year of what was supposed to be 2.5 years. He got out but may have been put back in over the incident. I invested in a legit investment with a company called emerging trends who guaranteed the investment with some of their real estate. The investment I got involved in went bust. Emerging trends didn't use their real estate holdings to pay their investors. Although they are trying to recover money it's been 2 years since last payment and they don't answer email asking for updates. I won't give anyone money in Thailand again but as for people just asking for money I've found that the Thais are the worst at asking for money. I've given a few money with their stated promise to pay back. They never did, going on 5 years now. Then again I have American friends that don't pay back. I've had to make a personal policy of not loaning anyone money. 

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22 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I always wonder what this fearful myth is of " be careful" acknowledging other farang ...they want something whether to borrow money from you or tell you a sorry story or whatever ...be careful saying don't hello back...they will bite you etc etc ..they re obviously after something 

Personally, I've never heard about this 'fearful myth'

22 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

So I walked back in the toilet and took the wallet 

Moral of the story don't be arrogant 

or could be 'two wrongs don't make a right'

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Always offer a hello to farangs I see about when we go shopping. Living out in the sticks mostly see farungs when we go to Pak Chong for groceries.  Australians I have greeted are some good folks, always quick to say good day and engage in conversation.   Some people I greet just look at me like I have three eyeballs and walk on.  

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13 hours ago, Will B Good said:

I find I am getting too lazy (if that is the correct word) to just chat. I guess it is not so much age itself, but with age you realize there is nothing much new in the world anymore.

I guess I am F'ed up then at age 30, knew that for a few years by now. Certainly nothing new in Thailand anymore.

 

Most times I end up talking to strangers, they can't even let someone finish a sentence or have a proper debate when it comes to anything interesting. Or otherwise it are these weirdo teachers who think they are half gods (i guess the pretty students boost their ego, even they hate em as much) or retirees who have seen it all, but actually do nothing much either.

But never would my reason to not speak to a farang be because he might ask me money or whatever, in those cases you usually even see it upfront, at least I do. And the answer is No too, might toss him/her 100-300 baht just because I don't like money.

Edited by ChaiyaTH
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16 minutes ago, whaleboneman said:

All I know is that everyone of my best friends were strangers before we started chatting.

you know, that is so true.  The man who became my very best friend came down with a buddy of his, who was a friend of my co worker.  I got them a room at Tunica MS casino.  I thought the guy was weird.  But the more we talked I learned about his background, his time i Vietnam, his engineering background similar to mine and we had worked on the same projects with the Air Force.  He was also an MD.  I learned so much about life, finances, responsibility, etc. from him.  OVer our 15 years of contracting I got him probably 6 jobs and he me a few.  We often bunked together to save money, shared a hotel room, shared an apartment, crashed at each other's places between gigs, etc.  he and his wife are now retired and have 22 acres up in Egmont BC.  There is no way I would be as well off as I am today if it had not been for Mr Doug.  

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Something I have been told on several occasions:

people from the same country, once they encounter each other, tend to hang out together when in foreign lands, some nationalities are notorious for it and exclude outsiders.  Americans seem to avoid each other.

 

I've heard this observation more than twice, and each time it was said by a Brit.  I have been asked why this is so, and have no answer.

 

 

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There really is only one foreigner I used to 'lunch' with on occasion when he was in Thailand. A fellow American with mainly shared views on the state of the world. He, on the other hand, had a wide variety of farang characters for friends, one being the alcholic golf pro and another a big lawyer for some foreign firm who lives in some 200K  baht per month condo near the US embassy. Once he convinced me to grab lunch with this crowd and I was never so disgusted in my life. Topic of conversation were "Look at that 'slit' over there, maybe I should go over and 'pork' her for dessert (the  golf pro who was drunk before lunch arrived), "I need to send my GF somewhere for an abortion, maybe Hong Kong, my wife ? ah...she doesn't give a $$$$ as long as her ATM card keeps working" (The rich lawyer guy).

 

This is why I tend to avoid foreigners in Thailand, it seems to attract the bottom of the barrel insofar as ethical behavior, and that just makes me uncomfortable. My friend thinks these guys are hilarious and maybe hangs out with them for their antics I guess.

Edited by tonray
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33 minutes ago, tonray said:

There really is only one foreigner I used to 'lunch' with on occasion when he was in Thailand. A fellow American with mainly shared views on the state of the world. He, on the other hand, had a wide variety of farang characters for friends, one being the alcholic golf pro and another a big lawyer for some foreign firm who lives in some 200K  baht per month condo near the US embassy. Once he convinced me to grab lunch with this crowd and I was never so disgusted in my life. Topic of conversation were "Look at that 'slit' over there, maybe I should go over and 'pork' her for dessert (the  golf pro who was drunk before lunch arrived), "I need to send my GF somewhere for an abortion, maybe Hong Kong, my wife ? ah...she doesn't give a $$$$ as long as her ATM card keeps working" (The rich lawyer guy).

 

This is why I tend to avoid foreigners in Thailand, it seems to attract the bottom of the barrel insofar as ethical behavior, and that just makes me uncomfortable. My friend thinks these guys are hilarious and maybe hangs out with them for their antics I guess.

They sound pretty normal to me. I've heard more graphic.

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4 hours ago, bendejo said:

Something I have been told on several occasions:

people from the same country, once they encounter each other, tend to hang out together when in foreign lands, some nationalities are notorious for it and exclude outsiders.  Americans seem to avoid each other.

 

I've heard this observation more than twice, and each time it was said by a Brit.  I have been asked why this is so, and have no answer.

 

 

I've known more than a few Americans and they never excluded me because I wasn't American.

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11 hours ago, observer90210 said:

or a sudden dirty punch perhaps to grab one's cash ? 

In all my years in Thailand that was the last thing I'd ever worry about. Far as I'm concerned it doesn't happen in LOS to farangs. Pickpocketing does happen though.

 

If a farang is getting hit by Thais, it's usually because they did something bad. I've seen a farang getting beaten in a bar by about 15 Thai guys, but IMO he deserved it because of what he was doing with the girls.

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I had an experience way back around 10yrs  there was a financial crash, i was living here and my money had devalued a lot, sitting out side a store alone, a guy sat down with me, as i lamented on not having much cash, he offered me 500b, i said no i don't want/need your money, but he kept insisting pushing it on me in the end i took it to shut him up, i must have given him my phone num. 6 months later or more he rang me, on Songkran and asked me to pay him back ! 500b ! It incensed me as i had not asked him for a loan or any money, he got told to Fork Off.   I found out later,  He had brought a failed business. :coffee1: next.

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3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

quote

Those girls hate what they do, it disgusts them to the bottom

end quote

:cheesy:

 

Someone has no clue as to reality.

Never met one that appeared to be bothered.

One girl said to me, "I want sex and I need money, if a guy wants to give me money for something I would do anyway, why not?" I lived with her for 9 months, but I was 52 at the time and couldn't manage the 5x a day she wanted to do it.

 

If she hated and was disgusted doing it, why did she do it with me so often? (I would have been happy with once every other day).

Edited by BritManToo
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