Have you tried the, “It’s not you it’s me routine”?

 

Soup Nazi ... ALways loved Seinfeld

Maybe she could save face if you tell her you’re gay. 
She can go back to the village and the family can have a big laugh. 

The level on entitledness here from women never ceases to amaze me, and I have lived with all classes here from Doctors, professionals to poor single girls and there is always some monetary expectation when they live with foreigners, over and above what we would consider normal. Like a wealth transfer....yours to her, until its all gone. Many bring nothing to the table whatsoever, are lazy....can't drive or cook. You need to take care of all their needs like a child and in some cases the extended family. After trying to make a relationship work for a long time with one particular girl I asked her what she brought to the relationship...She answered "you get my body". I explained to her for a foreigner, sex here is very easy to find in Thailand, and in fact I could probably find more of it without her. I had a lengthy discussion on the matter with a Thai guy I know. Most of the Thai men I know (middle income / educated) seem to have sweet, loving normal type of wives. They also contribute to the family money pot and work together towards their future as we would in a relationship in the west. He said no......Thai guys know this sort of woman well and steer clear of them. He also told me these sort of women target foreigners. Basically the lazy, easy money types. 

 

I have lived with educated professionals, normal village girls and a couple of ex "entertainment" workers. Monetary expectations weren't really a lot different. Sex a whole lot better with an ex worker, although their mind always seems to be on the bar, and weighing up if they are better off with you or back in the "glamorous" life of the bar. Heaps of trust issues also. Some imagined some real.

 

You do have your work cut out for you as far as moving her on. Most of those types I know there is always the veiled threat of them putting on a huge violent drama show should you shunt them. In fact many seem while living with you to try and collect a catalogue of perceived slights you have made against them to be used later. Veiled threats. Most of the time its bluff, but sometimes they are psychotic. In a Condo at least you should be able to have her stopped at the front security gate rather than in a home with her screaming at your back gate all hours of the day and night.  I told one once it would be a lot easier for you and me if you just tried to be a nicer person rather than play all these stupid games. Its just like a constant game of brinksmanship....in this imagined competition to "win". Most blokes I think are happy with a woman if she is happy and easy to get along with, and contributes in some way. We're too lazy to go look elsewhere if there is no reason. In my view a relationship needs to be a two way street where both parties are benefitting and contributing. It is the only way for a couple to succeed and move up. It is a very rare thing to find in Thailand in my experience. Usually one side wants to completely demoralize the other and winner take all.

 

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

The level on entitledness here from women never ceases to amaze me, and I have lived with all classes here from Doctors, professionals to poor single girls and there is always some monetary expectation when they live with foreigners, over and above what we would consider normal. Like a wealth transfer....yours to her, until its all gone. Many bring nothing to the table whatsoever, are lazy....can't drive or cook. You need to take care of all their needs like a child and in some cases the extended family. After trying to make a relationship work for a long time with one particular girl I asked her what she brought to the relationship...She answered "you get my body". I explained to her for a foreigner, sex here is very easy to find in Thailand, and in fact I could probably find more of it without her. I had a lengthy discussion on the matter with a Thai guy I know. Most of the Thai men I know (middle income / educated) seem to have sweet, loving normal type of wives. They also contribute to the family money pot and work together towards their future as we would in a relationship in the west. He said no......Thai guys know this sort of woman well and steer clear of them. He also told me these sort of women target foreigners. Basically the lazy, easy money types. 

 

I have lived with educated professionals, normal village girls and a couple of ex "entertainment" workers. Monetary expectations weren't really a lot different. Sex a whole lot better with an ex worker, although their mind always seems to be on the bar, and weighing up if they are better off with you or back in the "glamorous" life of the bar. Heaps of trust issues also. Some imagined some real.

 

You do have your work cut out for you as far as moving her on. Most of those types I know there is always the veiled threat of them putting on a huge violent drama show should you shunt them. In fact many seem while living with you to try and collect a catalogue of perceived slights you have made against them to be used later. Veiled threats. Most of the time its bluff, but sometimes they are psychotic. In a Condo at least you should be able to have her stopped at the front security gate rather than in a home with her screaming at your back gate all hours of the day and night.  I told one once it would be a lot easier for you and me if you just tried to be a nicer person rather than play all these stupid games. Its just like a constant game of brinksmanship....in this imagined competition to "win". Most blokes I think are happy with a woman if she is happy and easy to get along with, and contributes in some way. We're too lazy to go look elsewhere if there is no reason. In my view a relationship needs to be a two way street where both parties are benefitting and contributing. It is the only way for a couple to succeed and move up. It is a very rare thing to find in Thailand in my experience. Usually one side wants to completely demoralize the other and winner take all.

 

Thats probably the biggest and quickest punch line, regardless of foreigner or not

Add to that eventually their going to lose their youth and looks, so based on their reasoning, you are allowed to ditch her for a better younger model.

Which then leads to, they're no different to a bar girl but they get paid not per hour

 

That being said men need to take responsibility for enabling this behaviour and choosing to get invovled with these type of girls.  But most men in these situations are too stupid, naive or deluded to even realise

 

23 minutes ago, hellohello123 said:

Thats probably the biggest and quickest punch line, regardless of foreigner or not

Add to that eventually their going to lose their youth and looks, so based on their reasoning, you are allowed to ditch her for a better younger model.

Which then leads to, they're no different to a bar girl but they get paid not per hour

 

That being said men need to take responsibility for enabling this behaviour and choosing to get invovled with these type of girls.  But most men in these situations are too stupid, naive or deluded to even realise

 

I understand them wanting security etc but often they want to push you to the point where they have everything and you have nothing, and usually when they have everything they decide there is no need for you anymore. Seen it time and time again here. I just wont put myself in that position where I am living in a space where I have no control and where all of my possessions are in someone else's house (even if I paid for it and built it). I wont even rent in someone elses name anymore. It just doesn't make sense. Come here with everything and end up with nothing to appease someone else's insecurities or pass it off as the culture here. I have heard the stories ad nauseum from women here about their past relationships..... man before playboy, man boxing, man drunk etc which may or may not be true but in most cases after a few weeks it was very clear why any man living with a particular women wanted to leave her and it had nothing to do with being a playboy and everything to do with her attitude ie it's all about her. As I said before I think if most guys find a pleasant woman who is easy to live with they will be content. Most of us a re too old to be bothered playing the field if we are happy at home, and lets face it it doesn't take much for the average bloke to be happy. of course if you are full of grog most of the time or going out on your own drinking in bars most nights she has a good argument. In my experience the nicer sort of guys are the ones who seem to get taken advantage of here. And yes we do probably make poor choices, I know I have. It has more probably to do with the type of girls that are readily available here to foreigners. And they are such good actresses it is easy to get sucked in. With a bit of experience living here normally they show their true colors within a couple of weeks to a month and that honeymoon period is often amazing and I can see how rookies here can get taken in so easily. It's the girls who know hot to play the long game that are the most dangerous.  

 

And back to the OP, as someone here told me once, it is very easy to find women here, not so easy to get away from them

6 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

I understand them wanting security etc but often they want to push you to the point where they have everything and you have nothing, and usually when they have everything they decide there is no need for you anymore. Seen it time and time again here. I just wont put myself in that position where I am living in a space where I have no control and where all of my possessions are in someone else's house (even if I paid for it and built it). I wont even rent in someone elses name anymore. It just doesn't make sense. Come here with everything and end up with nothing to appease someone else's insecurities or pass it off as the culture here. I have heard the stories ad nauseum from women here about their past relationships..... man before playboy, man boxing, man drunk etc which may or may not be true but in most cases after a few weeks it was very clear why any man living with a particular women wanted to leave her and it had nothing to do with being a playboy and everything to do with her attitude ie it's all about her. As I said before I think if most guys find a pleasant woman who is easy to live with they will be content. Most of us a re too old to be bothered playing the field if we are happy at home, and lets face it it doesn't take much for the average bloke to be happy. of course if you are full of grog most of the time or going out on your own drinking in bars most nights she has a good argument. In my experience the nicer sort of guys are the ones who seem to get taken advantage of here. And yes we do probably make poor choices, I know I have. It has more probably to do with the type of girls that are readily available here to foreigners. And they are such good actresses it is easy to get sucked in. With a bit of experience living here normally they show their true colors within a couple of weeks to a month and that honeymoon period is often amazing and I can see how rookies here can get taken in so easily. It's the girls who know hot to play the long game that are the most dangerous.  

 

And back to the OP, as someone here told me once, it is very easy to find women here, not so easy to get away from them

Totally agree.

I had one. I gave her a healthy pocket money but each time she went to visit a friend, she asked for bts or bus money, money for this and that. Initially I gave it but later decided to stop and told her, that she uses her generous pocket money. Nooo, this, she wanted to save or use on her family. Never she bought a single item for our household. I had enough of it.

Also, just eating, sitting on bed all day, watching her phone.

I told her that the least she could do, is to keep the apartment tidy.

But.... my ex, an old german bloke, he cleaned and did everything.

Baby, listen, I bring the money home and you keep the property tidy and cook, please.

Always trying to see, when I was doing online banking.

Why are you paying money for your daughter?

Why do you talk to the mother of your daughter?

Why you don't send your pension to my account... in case something happens, I have nothing.

She was well trained and talked too much to her friends.

 

Once I was starting to talk to a girl. First thing she asked: Are you American?

No, I am not.

Ok, I am not interested.

Why is that? Because I want to find an american, go there, make him happy and when I am long enough there to be entitled to as much as possible, I move on to the next "rich" one.

They know what they want.

 

She: but if give my body.

Me: for what i sponsor you, I can have a lot of bodies.

 

Than the ususally story: I am different.

I lost x months because of you, bla bla bla

 

On your bike and find a rookie who will fall for it.

51 minutes ago, hellohello123 said:

That being said men need to take responsibility for enabling this behaviour and choosing to get invovled with these type of girls.  But most men in these situations are too stupid, naive or deluded to even realise

 

There is no other type of woman (apart from in your imagination).

 

2 hours ago, RafPinto said:

Totally agree.

I had one. I gave her a healthy pocket money but each time she went to visit a friend, she asked for bts or bus money, money for this and that. Initially I gave it but later decided to stop and told her, that she uses her generous pocket money. Nooo, this, she wanted to save or use on her family. Never she bought a single item for our household. I had enough of it.

Also, just eating, sitting on bed all day, watching her phone.

I told her that the least she could do, is to keep the apartment tidy.

But.... my ex, an old german bloke, he cleaned and did everything.

Baby, listen, I bring the money home and you keep the property tidy and cook, please.

Always trying to see, when I was doing online banking.

Why are you paying money for your daughter?

Why do you talk to the mother of your daughter?

Why you don't send your pension to my account... in case something happens, I have nothing.

She was well trained and talked too much to her friends.

 

Once I was starting to talk to a girl. First thing she asked: Are you American?

No, I am not.

Ok, I am not interested.

Why is that? Because I want to find an american, go there, make him happy and when I am long enough there to be entitled to as much as possible, I move on to the next "rich" one.

They know what they want.

 

She: but if give my body.

Me: for what i sponsor you, I can have a lot of bodies.

 

Than the ususally story: I am different.

I lost x months because of you, bla bla bla

 

On your bike and find a rookie who will fall for it.

You could also make just as good argument by flipping it around and saying " I've invested all this money and time on you that I will never get back"

 

But using this level of common sense on a woman of any nationality is like fighting a bushfire with a garden hose

 

Plus if you're having this type of  conversation, your  relationship is beyond repair

2 hours ago, RafPinto said:

I gave her a healthy pocket money but each time she went to visit a friend,

It's not pocket money, it's a wage you pay for her to have sex with you.

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

It's not pocket money, it's a wage you pay for her to have sex with you.

True.

She called it "her salary".

2 hours ago, RafPinto said:

Totally agree.

I had one. I gave her a healthy pocket money but each time she went to visit a friend, she asked for bts or bus money, money for this and that. Initially I gave it but later decided to stop and told her, that she uses her generous pocket money. Nooo, this, she wanted to save or use on her family. Never she bought a single item for our household. I had enough of it.

Also, just eating, sitting on bed all day, watching her phone.

I told her that the least she could do, is to keep the apartment tidy.

But.... my ex, an old german bloke, he cleaned and did everything.

Baby, listen, I bring the money home and you keep the property tidy and cook, please.

Always trying to see, when I was doing online banking.

Why are you paying money for your daughter?

Why do you talk to the mother of your daughter?

Why you don't send your pension to my account... in case something happens, I have nothing.

She was well trained and talked too much to her friends.

 

Once I was starting to talk to a girl. First thing she asked: Are you American?

No, I am not.

Ok, I am not interested.

Why is that? Because I want to find an american, go there, make him happy and when I am long enough there to be entitled to as much as possible, I move on to the next "rich" one.

They know what they want.

 

She: but if give my body.

Me: for what i sponsor you, I can have a lot of bodies.

 

Than the ususally story: I am different.

I lost x months because of you, bla bla bla

 

On your bike and find a rookie who will fall for it.

Presumably she was a lot younger than you in which case you also need to acknowledge why they are with you, which is to make money, get possessions- essentially you as a pensioner she is not with you for love, your looks or having family and future. The relationship is essentially you get to ride a bird you would never have a chance with in your own country, and for her displeasure of this she gets money, assets and whatever she can get for her future. I am not surprised some of these birds getting a bit of pocket money each month are not happy and want more- they are getting nothing from the relationship for their future which is the whole reason they are in the relationship.

1 hour ago, RafPinto said:

True.

She called it "her salary".

Most of the girls I know here, if I had a mate come around with his wife or GF the first thing they ask is how much do you get per month. I had a mate here giving his GF 20k a month, and taking care of all her other living expenses of course. Sending money to her family for every little thing and treated her well. She was nothing spesh either by the way. Super good hearted guy. He was around at my place one night and he called her asked her to call a taxi to pick him up. She refused unless he transferred money to her immediately to buy phone credit. He knew she had at least 200k in her account he had given her. he never complained just sent her 1000 baht. She was truly despicable

1 hour ago, smutcakes said:

Presumably she was a lot younger than you in which case you also need to acknowledge why they are with you, which is to make money, get possessions- essentially you as a pensioner she is not with you for love, your looks or having family and future. The relationship is essentially you get to ride a bird you would never have a chance with in your own country, and for her displeasure of this she gets money, assets and whatever she can get for her future. I am not surprised some of these birds getting a bit of pocket money each month are not happy and want more- they are getting nothing from the relationship for their future which is the whole reason they are in the relationship.

What you are saying is true. I have a couple of mates target young girls and always seem surprised when it becomes apparent they want to get something out of the relationship monetarily....and fair enough too if you are an older guy with plenty of cash. In this regard we are lucky with the amount of easily available beautiful women here, at a cost of course. What I will say though is having an older woman is by no means a guarantee of a happy mutually rewarding relationship in Thailand. In fact most of the worst dramas here I have seen are guys with older women. Not ex sex workers either. Just older village women not even attractive. They seem to know the game better than the younger ones and have worse gambling issues and bigger debts. Build the house, buy the cars and all the house trimmings....in the wife's name. Next minute the guy is being told if he doesn't cough up 500k or a million baht the house will be repossessed.  

34 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

What you are saying is true. I have a couple of mates target young girls and always seem surprised when it becomes apparent they want to get something out of the relationship monetarily....and fair enough too if you are an older guy with plenty of cash. In this regard we are lucky with the amount of easily available beautiful women here, at a cost of course. What I will say though is having an older woman is by no means a guarantee of a happy mutually rewarding relationship in Thailand. In fact most of the worst dramas here I have seen are guys with older women. Not ex sex workers either. Just older village women not even attractive. They seem to know the game better than the younger ones and have worse gambling issues and bigger debts. Build the house, buy the cars and all the house trimmings....in the wife's name. Next minute the guy is being told if he doesn't cough up 500k or a million baht the house will be repossessed.  

How does one of sound mine go about meeting and then getting it on with an old village bird? Got to be a pretty niche market haunting around villages in nakon nowhere looking to pick up an old boiler- takes all sorts here.

19 hours ago, smutcakes said:

Presumably she was a lot younger than you in which case you also need to acknowledge why they are with you, which is to make money, get possessions- essentially you as a pensioner she is not with you for love, your looks or having family and future. The relationship is essentially you get to ride a bird you would never have a chance with in your own country, and for her displeasure of this she gets money, assets and whatever she can get for her future. I am not surprised some of these birds getting a bit of pocket money each month are not happy and want more- they are getting nothing from the relationship for their future which is the whole reason they are in the relationship.

Not so much difference.

I'm 56, she was 39 

I'm on retirement visa but not retirement age.

Before, she was living in a "room",  no aircon, no hot water, working 6 days a week, small salary...

Now, she was living in a nice condo, pool, sauna, shuttle bus, good food everyday, car, holidays, good pocket money or salary as they call it, not working.

I think that was a nice step up and what most would dream about.

And, I am not fat, bad looking, poor etc.  

Now, she is probably again living in a small room somewhere or found her millionaire.

 

Enjoy the ride.

The problem is, they talk too much with other women and believe all their stories.

 

If one tells them that she gets 50k a month, they just believe it.

If you tell them, the thousands of women get zero, they just ignore.

They put in their head that they have to shoot as well a big prize and want to show the trophy around.

 

Not with me.

There will not be any house or car for the family or whatsoever.

I can offer a life they never had before but my money stays invested abroad and gives me a return with what I finance my "good" life here.

On 10/23/2021 at 8:54 AM, BritManToo said:

It's not pocket money, it's a wage you pay for her to have sex with you.

In fact, that is now the clear implication. In fact it's stated, though in different terms. 

So it's no sex for me anymore, and despite her excellent skills in the kitchen, living with someone I WANT to have sex with, and sleeping alone is not going to last long.

Woman who use sex as a weapon, don't keep their men very long, and mine is on a countdown without an abort button.

On 10/24/2021 at 5:06 AM, RafPinto said:

...

Not with me.

There will not be any house or car for the family or whatsoever.

I can offer a life they never had before but my money stays invested abroad and gives me a return with what I finance my "good" life here.

Such has it been for 10+ (closer to 15 actually) years for me. 

It all ends soon.

You guys don't know how to look.

 

There is absolutely no need to give  woman a salary in Thailand unless you are looking for a trophy. I know britman is going to say otherwise and he's wrong, imo. 

 

I'm in bed right now typing this and literally waiting for wifey to finish the shower and give me a massage. Never paid a baht for anything. She works tomorrow and since covid has been helping me non stop....even with money. The fruit juice incident already forgotten.

 

I don't find sex exciting after 2 months with the same woman. That's just me. I could go back on tinder, but I don't find sex with condoms exciting either. There is no perfect thing in life. I know my relationship isn't causing anyone to be very jealous of me, but it works really well for me at this moment in time. We talk a lot, laugh, play stupid games like we are friends. It's ok. 

1 hour ago, Pravda said:

I could go back on tinder, but I don't find sex with condoms exciting either.

No need to use condoms, I never have.

Most of the ladies are totally cool with no condoms.

Only two girls in the past 12 years insisted on condoms.

I just tell them I'm a Catholic and I'd prefer not to have sex than risk my immortal soul.

 

As for salary,

I'm totally OK paying a salary, it means 

1. I never risk suffering from the delusion she's different.

2. I have no responsibility towards a woman I'm paying for sex.

3. No need for me to be faithful, she's just hired help. 

4. I can bang anyone I like without any guilt.

 

No. 2 particularly (and 4) relates to the OP as there are a number of guys posting here about how the LT gf should be paid off for giving up years of her life. Not me, ZERO responsibility and ZERO guilt when I move on.

You know some foreigner guys here in Thailand have a good amount of money. I understand we don't want to feel we we're being taken advantage of but as many of us are on the downhill slope why not be generous with the dosh. We can't take it with us. So if you have the money to spread around, especially if you have kids together why not spend. 

 

Now some will call giving the little lady money every month a salary. I think those guys are the ones who don't have much or are just tight fisted. I give her divorced parents 5K each monthly with instruction that I never want to hear about their money woes. My little girl loves her grandparents and I give partly due to that. My old lady gets a stipend even though she works. Up to her how it's spent, Why? Because I can. Hopefully she's saving for the future without my money, but that's on her.