A nightmare is unfolding.....

[The Hammer2021]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Condo in Pattaya?

That's where I would be living if my woman built a house in the boonies.

My current place in Pattaya, in Pratumnak is the most quiet place I've lived in for 20 years. It's inexpensive and near the beach.

[MJCM]

  

12 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I lived in wife's village. NO AC. No walls either. Fan was more than sufficient.

Oke NO AC.

 

Then how many Batteries would it need to run a Fridge 24/7 (especially with like the last couple of weeks which did not have a lot of Sunshine)

 

(We have a 22Q fridge but that is a bit overkill )

 

But oke, this is not really helping the OP and it may help "Safety First" wish to get this Topic closed

[Rampant Rabbit]

2 hours ago, Will B Good said:

Now you've have got me into trouble.

 

Asked the wife what Ham Yai means and she wants to check all my messages.

Suggest name change to "Ham Sandwich"

[Will B Good]

1 minute ago, The Hammer2021 said:

My current place in Pattaya, in Pratumnak is the most quiet place I've lived in for 20 years. It's inexpensive and near the beach.

YES!!!......We have left behind a staggeringly quiet, extremely well managed condo 300m from the Nana BTS!!

 

All to live in the "idyllic" rice fields of Isan

[MJCM]

5 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

YES!!!......We have left behind a staggeringly quiet, extremely well managed condo 300m from the Nana BTS!!

 

All to live in the "idyllic" rice fields of Isan

SPOT ON!!

 

I wish I could give you 2 likes for that post.

 

<Flame self removed ???? >

[Rampant Rabbit]

On 10/20/2021 at 4:37 PM, Kwasaki said:

I could donate some shotgun cartridges.????

Ill throw  in a  club and one 6  inch nail

[Will B Good]

17 minutes ago, Rampant Rabbit said:

Ill throw  in a  club and one 6  inch nail

Oooo....Club biscuits?

 

Can you still get them? Used to love the orange ones.

[Beeonlotus]

I'll just echo what others have said: play the long game.  Problems are a part of life, and often times if you are willing to make some investment, those problem people can become good friends - and allies for any other problems that might crop up in the future.  True, sometimes you're stuck with a psychotic <deleted> that's not going to budge, but I think that's the rare exception.  99.9% of people are reasonable and want to do what's right - even in Thailand.

If you're willing to stick it out for the long haul after you've had your time off, I'd suggest being the nice guy.  I know it's a bit of a bad word these days, but it works for me.  Go to his store and ask him how he's doing, where he's from, etc.  Bring the wife along if you need a translator.   Invite him and his family and friends for a few drinks on the weekend.  Cook him some desserts.  Don't overdo it, however, and make no further mention of the issue.  After a few weeks, bring it up, don't blame him, and talk about it in a matter-of-fact, no-drama way.  In my experience, the problem will lessen, if not be resolved, after this.  If you stop all of the favors after he improves, though, he'll probably feel betrayed and get back at you with a vengeance.  Thus, you'll be stuck having to care about the person who lives next door to you for the long-term.  I know, it's terrible, caring about your neighbors, but the alternative is paying a much heavier price.

However, if someone's been a grumpster for most of his life or doesn't have good social skills and tries this, I doubt they'll be able to forge the kind of connection that'll make this work.  The interest will be interpreted as manipulation and viewed with suspicion, if not outright scorn.  In such cases, perhaps a mixture of diplomacy and war might be necessary.  Which, brings me to the next point, if being nice doesn't work, then follows diplomacy/administrative action and, failing that, outright war.

I liked the suggestions of playing scary ghost music at night.  I was also briefly living at an illegal hotel and the neighbors were not happy about this.  Each time guests were noisy, they'd blast nasaly Chinese Buddhist chanting for hours on end in retribution.  After about a year, the neighbors won.  I had moved on, but the guests kept complaining, their ratings tanked, and they eventually relocated.

 

As a side note, it's good policy to make friends with your neighbors.  Bake them cookies.  Buy them a new plant.  Bring some food back from your latest trip.  Ask them about their family.  There's a risk of being involved in their drama, but also it'll be a huge buffer against these kind of problems in the future, they'll be more likely to join you when there is another issue in the community, and they also can help out with informal security - ie, "Hey, I'm gonna be away for the weekend, can you help look after my property and make sure my dogs are fed."  I see a lot of these dramas coming up and I think most of them could've been avoided if people had been more pro-active in the first place.  They are your neighbors and you should see them as an investment in your community and your property, not as someone you can casually ignore until they annoy you.

 

I do hope that you can get this resolved.  Quite frustrating situation to have to deal with, especially with all the time and money involved. 

[Cake Monster]

One solution may be to buy this fella out.

Buy out his Business, and make it a legal condition of sale that he cannot start any similar business or any other kind of Business on the land , that may cause any offence to you within 100 years .

[NorthernRyland]

I've been in similar situations myself and in retrospect I wish I would have just left after I decided it was intolerable. Since it's your wives project let her decide what to do with it and find another place to live until a solution presents itself. If your marriage is sound maybe you can move back to BKK and live alone while visiting the wife once every few months (many Thais do this).

 

It's not a good long term solution but it's possible this resolves itself after a few years (business fails, guy gets bored and moves on etc...). Like you said life is too short for this <deleted>.

[NorthernRyland]

It may be too late but don't reveal your feelings or confront this guy in anyway until you have a viable plan for reprisal. In the worst case scenario that try to do something crazy like sabotaging his business you'll be in a much better bargaining situation if doesn't know your intentions.

 

Take for example the guy who loses his temper with his neighbors dog and decides to poison it when the neighbor is not home. If there was ever any altercation or merely knowledge of discontent the owner of the dog would become suspicious and possibly cause the entire thing to blow up in his face.

 

Silence is a bargaining chip that you don't want to give away unless you absolutely must, like if you officially get the police involved etc...

[Chad3000]

See the building supplies are a mess in front of yours and his entrance.

 

Dry some fish by the wall dividing

 

Smoky fire - burn your rubbish

 

Buy a loud system. Blast music you know he will hate or white noise.

 

Get a barking dog. Build his house by the wall

 

Pay off the provincial police to enforce ordinances especially during this time of covid.

 

If his power is not connected properly see it's cut off.

 

Have surveyor come and check property line.

 

None of this should be done aggressively.

[Will B Good]

4 hours ago, Beeonlotus said:

I'll just echo what others have said: play the long game.  Problems are a part of life, and often times if you are willing to make some investment, those problem people can become good friends - and allies for any other problems that might crop up in the future.  True, sometimes you're stuck with a psychotic <deleted> that's not going to budge, but I think that's the rare exception.  99.9% of people are reasonable and want to do what's right - even in Thailand.

If you're willing to stick it out for the long haul after you've had your time off, I'd suggest being the nice guy.  I know it's a bit of a bad word these days, but it works for me.  Go to his store and ask him how he's doing, where he's from, etc.  Bring the wife along if you need a translator.   Invite him and his family and friends for a few drinks on the weekend.  Cook him some desserts.  Don't overdo it, however, and make no further mention of the issue.  After a few weeks, bring it up, don't blame him, and talk about it in a matter-of-fact, no-drama way.  In my experience, the problem will lessen, if not be resolved, after this.  If you stop all of the favors after he improves, though, he'll probably feel betrayed and get back at you with a vengeance.  Thus, you'll be stuck having to care about the person who lives next door to you for the long-term.  I know, it's terrible, caring about your neighbors, but the alternative is paying a much heavier price.

However, if someone's been a grumpster for most of his life or doesn't have good social skills and tries this, I doubt they'll be able to forge the kind of connection that'll make this work.  The interest will be interpreted as manipulation and viewed with suspicion, if not outright scorn.  In such cases, perhaps a mixture of diplomacy and war might be necessary.  Which, brings me to the next point, if being nice doesn't work, then follows diplomacy/administrative action and, failing that, outright war.

I liked the suggestions of playing scary ghost music at night.  I was also briefly living at an illegal hotel and the neighbors were not happy about this.  Each time guests were noisy, they'd blast nasaly Chinese Buddhist chanting for hours on end in retribution.  After about a year, the neighbors won.  I had moved on, but the guests kept complaining, their ratings tanked, and they eventually relocated.

 

As a side note, it's good policy to make friends with your neighbors.  Bake them cookies.  Buy them a new plant.  Bring some food back from your latest trip.  Ask them about their family.  There's a risk of being involved in their drama, but also it'll be a huge buffer against these kind of problems in the future, they'll be more likely to join you when there is another issue in the community, and they also can help out with informal security - ie, "Hey, I'm gonna be away for the weekend, can you help look after my property and make sure my dogs are fed."  I see a lot of these dramas coming up and I think most of them could've been avoided if people had been more pro-active in the first place.  They are your neighbors and you should see them as an investment in your community and your property, not as someone you can casually ignore until they annoy you.

 

I do hope that you can get this resolved.  Quite frustrating situation to have to deal with, especially with all the time and money involved. 

Thanks for that, certainly food for thought.......I will certainly bear it in mind, although I will find that approach a real uphill struggle because of my nature!!. However, you are probably correct in the softly, softly catchy monkey approach. Cheers. Thanks for your time and effort.

[Will B Good]

4 hours ago, Cake Monster said:

One solution may be to buy this fella out.

Buy out his Business, and make it a legal condition of sale that he cannot start any similar business or any other kind of Business on the land , that may cause any offence to you within 100 years .

Yes a few comments along these lines, but he starts up under a friend's name or moves 100m away or.........just fraught with loopholes at the end of the day. Cheers.

[Will B Good]

1 hour ago, NorthernRyland said:

I've been in similar situations myself and in retrospect I wish I would have just left after I decided it was intolerable. Since it's your wives project let her decide what to do with it and find another place to live until a solution presents itself. If your marriage is sound maybe you can move back to BKK and live alone while visiting the wife once every few months (many Thais do this).

 

It's not a good long term solution but it's possible this resolves itself after a few years (business fails, guy gets bored and moves on etc...). Like you said life is too short for this <deleted>.

Oh boy......I love this bit......"maybe you can move back to BKK and live alone".....what would I give??? 

 

If I thought for one moment she would allow that I would be in 7th heaven.....555

 

I have, however, told her I will not live there if the situation remains unresolved......I genuinely could not cope mentally .

[Will B Good]

18 minutes ago, NorthernRyland said:

It may be too late but don't reveal your feelings or confront this guy in anyway until you have a viable plan for reprisal. In the worst case scenario that try to do something crazy like sabotaging his business you'll be in a much better bargaining situation if doesn't know your intentions.

 

Take for example the guy who loses his temper with his neighbors dog and decides to poison it when the neighbor is not home. If there was ever any altercation or merely knowledge of discontent the owner of the dog would become suspicious and possibly cause the entire thing to blow up in his face.

 

Silence is a bargaining chip that you don't want to give away unless you absolutely must, like if you officially get the police involved etc...

100% and similar advice given...keep out of it....play it cool/unconcerned......definitely the way to play it for now.

[NorthernRyland]

1 minute ago, Will B Good said:

Oh boy......I love this bit......"maybe you can move back to BKK and live alone".....what would I give??? 

 

If the wife insists you must live in the house or face divorce then this another nightmare unto itself. I thought you haven't moved in yet though so hopefully you can just refuse until the problem is resolved.

[Will B Good]

21 minutes ago, Chad3000 said:

See the building supplies are a mess in front of yours and his entrance.

 

Dry some fish by the wall dividing

 

Smoky fire - burn your rubbish

 

Buy a loud system. Blast music you know he will hate or white noise.

 

Get a barking dog. Build his house by the wall

 

Pay off the provincial police to enforce ordinances especially during this time of covid.

 

If his power is not connected properly see it's cut off.

 

Have surveyor come and check property line.

 

None of this should be done aggressively.

As we eliminate the more diplomatic steps this list distills many of the suggestions/options made.

 

Hate it to come to this, but I can see it happening when all else fails.

[NorthernRyland]

1 minute ago, Will B Good said:

As we eliminate the more diplomatic steps this list just about distill many of the suggestions/options made.

 

Also worth mentioning if you go the route of sabotage:

 

Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich Nietzsche.

[Will B Good]

Just now, NorthernRyland said:

If the wife insists you must live in the house or face divorce then this another nightmare unto itself. I thought you haven't moved in yet though so hopefully you can just refuse until the problem is resolved.

She knows in her heart that I will not/cannot live there under these circumstances.......to be honest I would defy anyone to live there for more than a few days. 

 

She said the other day her main desire in building this place was for me to have somewhere to relax!!!.

 

Another thought I had was to vacate (or not move in in the first place) and invite her immediate family to live there (dangerous I know) so people see it is a 'Thai' house.....her father is an ex-Head of Village and he must be able to bring some pressure to bear.

[Will B Good]

8 minutes ago, NorthernRyland said:

Also worth mentioning if you go the route of sabotage:

 

Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich Nietzsche.

Never take a knife to a gun fight!

[NorthernRyland]

1 minute ago, Will B Good said:

Another thought I had was to vacate (or not move in in the first place) and invite her immediate family to live there (dangerous I know) so people see it is a 'Thai' house.....her father is an ex-Head of Village and he must be able to bring some pressure to bear.

Just don't do like I did a live simmering in anger and resentment about your predicament. My bad living situations weren't as dire as yours but I literally caused years of stress and frustration by putting up with it and refusing to move. 

[NorthernRyland]

4 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

Never take a knife to a gun fight!

well the risk here is that you turn against Thailand (and Thais in general) and become bitter and twisted. Happened to me and I'd hate to see others go through that.

[Will B Good]

2 minutes ago, NorthernRyland said:

Just don't do like I did a live simmering in anger and resentment about your predicament. My bad living situations weren't as dire as yours but I literally caused years of stress and frustration by putting up with it and refusing to move. 

OMG....you are so right......it would fester inside like a cancer......I am determined not to end up in a situation that eats away at me.

[farmerjo]

What's the ratio of land purchase price and house build or was land for free.

[Will B Good]

2 minutes ago, NorthernRyland said:

well the risk here is that you turn against Thailand (and Thais in general) and become bitter and twisted. Happened to me and I'd hate to see others go through that.

Sadly, there are elements of that already.......I can see it/feel it in myself and I am desperately trying to stop that train of thought.

 

It is crying shame because all my interactions with the "Thai family" and locals generally, have been amazingly positive..........aarrrgghhh.

[Will B Good]

3 minutes ago, farmerjo said:

What's the ratio of land purchase price and house build or was land for free.

The boss bought the land some 10 years ago and allowed her family to farm it until she decided to build, no idea of the cost.

 

The house is just the start of her plans to develop the plot, few 'resort' rooms, coffee shop, food, bar etc. All at risk now from this **** and his sound system. .

[Chad3000]

I think this is a good idea  totally passive aggressive. Clear out a large area for 'a garden'

 

Bring in manure, mix it with cheap catfish.

 

Organic lol

[NorthernRyland]

1 minute ago, Will B Good said:

Sadly, there are elements of that already.......I can see it/feel it in myself and I am desperately trying to stop that train of thought.

 

it's corrosive a process. First you hate just that one guy, then you see the patrons to his restaurant partaking also so you begin to hate them, finally you see the general population and even your family as being complicit by refusing to help or side 100% with you so you begin to hate them as well. 

 

In my experience it doesn't matter if it's irrational or not because most Thais are good people etc..., it will eventually break you down and turn you against everyone.

[farmerjo]

2 minutes ago, Will B Good said:

The boss bought the land some 10 years ago and allowed her family to farm it until she decided to build, no idea of the cost.

 

The house is just the start of her plans to develop the plot, few 'resort' rooms, coffee shop, food, bar etc. All at risk now from this **** and his sound system. .

Well as a positive you may get some respite from the music when the the monks are doing there chanting at the house opening.????