Better not to be helpful or caring

[seedy]

7 minutes ago, Bruno123 said:

Sad. Don't you realise that behaviour propagates itself? If the foreigners here don't support each other, then they might lose the belief that anyone cares. If they believe no one cares, then they may stop caring themselves. You see the bitter, angry and hateful posts on this forum every day.

Which is what I was replying to in my post.

People who care nothing for others should not expect others to care for them.

Their own behavior places them squarely in the position they champion.

Now THAT is well deserved.

[Bruno123]

I didn't really want to publish this story, but here goes:

 

Recently, I was riding down the Sukhumvit Road with a friend riding pillion, at around 60 km/hr.

 

In passing, I saw an older westerner on a motorbike stopped near the kerb. In the split second that I saw him, I sensed that something was not quite right; so I stopped my bike perhaps 100 metres on and walked back to check on him.

I thought he might just ride off and I would feel a bit silly. But I kept going anyway.

I reached him. He was sitting on his motorbike, I thought at first perhaps drunk, looking like he wanted to ride on, but somehow couldn't do it.

I did not want him to ride on in his condition, so try to convince him to turn off the engine and to gather his senses. He gently tried to push my hand away, not quite speaking. He was also leaning at a strange angle. I used my body to prop the bike upright whilst he was sitting on it, but he tried to return it to the strange angle.

I could not smell any alcohol on his breath. Keep in mind all this happened at the height of the COVID scare.

This went on for a while. A musician from the Philippines approached and told me that he just saw the man have an accident further up the road. One of his shoes was in the motorcycle basket and the other on his foot. He had some bruising.

There were some large Thais sitting on the back of a pickup coming out of a nearby HomePro; I stopped them and asked for their help to hold the bike and help me to lower the man to the pavement in so he could rest and gather his senses.

The did, even though reluctant at first. 

I decided to stay with him until official help arrived.

Motorbike Taxi stopped and started shaking the man. I moved the motorcycle taxi along swiftly and stopped him from touching the man.

We placed a jacket under his head and monitored his breathing.

Others arrived. One called an ambulance; but they could not take him anywhere without his permission. I noted an iPhone in his shirt pocket, but I did not want to touch it until there were others on the scene. Now there were others there, I removed it from his shirt pocket. There were just two foreign numbers stored on it; but no mobile package. So I could not call. Happily my friend had a phone and created a HotSpot so I could make the call. The first number was no longer available. The second number there was no reply! I tried again. This time the second number picked up. It was his son; at work in his native country.

The only words the older man would utter were 'motorbike'. He seemed most concerned about that. I also noticed that he was protecting one one his pockets instinctively. Part of the reason that I decided to stay the whole hog. To make sure nothing was taken and that everything was done to the best of my ability.

Thais were insisting that he was drunk, annoying me slightly. There was no evidence that he had even been drinking.

City Police were called and arrived in a pick up. Through his son, I learned where he lived and we decided to take him there. I wheeled his bike into the car park of Home Pro and one of the City Police guys liaised with management there to ensure that his bike was safe and also because you normally cannot park overnight there.

We took him to his accommodation but could not find the friends that his son described. After some investigation, found out that the son had the friends on the wrong floor(one floor out). Friends were contacted and they came down and took over from there. Got him to the hospital where he was diagnosed with having suffered a stroke, diabetes, sepsis and a fractured skull ????

This a man in his late eighties. He survived his operations and his son flew in from abroad to take him home to live with them

He credits me with saving his father's life. I credit everyone. I was just the catalyst.

BTW he had 80k in the pocket that I noticed he was trying to protect. Apparently he was going to pay for something.

So through all that, I could see that his faculties were all there and he just needed a safe space to gather his senses.

 

Some people are already dead inside. Love and care are strangers to them; they care about no one; not even themselves. 

By loving and caring; you ensure that you can feel love and care. If you don't have the capacity and trust in mankind, you will never know the feeling. Be how you want the world to be. I am kind and I see the world as kind to me. I appreciate everything.

 

Edited December 22, 2021 by Bruno123

[Bruno123]

46 minutes ago, seedy said:

Which is what I was replying to in my post.

People who care nothing for others should not expect others to care for them.

Their own behavior places them squarely in the position they champion.

Now THAT is well deserved.

Sad; but often true. One can only lead by example. I just do it; rather than to make excuses as to why not. I will even help a homeless drunk. Do they not deserve happiness? They weren't drinking because they were happy.

Everyone should experience love and happiness.

[poohy]

On 12/16/2021 at 11:54 AM, Mac Mickmanus said:

Thai bashing and close to being racist . 

Change the "Thai" to *Jew * or Black* and re read it and how does it sound ?

A slight aside

Its humour always has been always will be

same as welsh irish  indian Australian any others you can pick  and add yourself

 

Now I'm Welsh descent with a dark skinned mum who i follow

 

shagging sheep

Black shhep of the family 

velcro gloves

long socks

wife called bAAAbara

edge of cliffs

 

does it bother me not a bit

[BritManToo]

On 12/16/2021 at 11:54 AM, Mac Mickmanus said:

Thai bashing and close to being racist . 

Change the "Thai" to *Jew * or Black* and re read it and how does it sound ?

Thais aren't a race.

Did you mean bigoted?

[seedy]

32 minutes ago, Bruno123 said:

Sad; but often true. One can only lead by example. I just do it; rather than to make excuses as to why not. I will even help a homeless drunk. Do they not deserve happiness? They weren't drinking because they were happy.

Everyone should experience love and happiness.

My comments were aimed at posters in this thread - tho' how I could recognize them I have no idea.

Maybe they should wear a badge - "I don't help Anybody" would do it !!! 555

[seedy]

54 minutes ago, Bruno123 said:

I didn't really want to publish this story, but here goes:

 

Recently, I was riding down the Sukhumvit Road with a friend riding pillion, at around 60 km/hr.

 

In passing, I saw an older westerner on a motorbike stopped near the kerb. In the split second that I saw him, I sensed that something was not quite right; so I stopped my bike perhaps 100 metres on and walked back to check on him.

I thought he might just ride off and I would feel a bit silly. But I kept going anyway.

I reached him. He was sitting on his motorbike, I thought at first perhaps drunk, looking like he wanted to ride on, but somehow couldn't do it.

I did not want him to ride on in his condition, so try to convince him to turn off the engine and to gather his senses. He gently tried to push my hand away, not quite speaking. He was also leaning at a strange angle. I used my body to prop the bike upright whilst he was sitting on it, but he tried to return it to the strange angle.

I could not smell any alcohol on his breath. Keep in mind all this happened at the height of the COVID scare.

This went on for a while. A musician from the Philippines approached and told me that he just saw the man have an accident further up the road. One of his shoes was in the motorcycle basket and the other on his foot. He had some bruising.

There were some large Thais sitting on the back of a pickup coming out of a nearby HomePro; I stopped them and asked for their help to hold the bike and help me to lower the man to the pavement in so he could rest and gather his senses.

The did, even though reluctant at first. 

I decided to stay with him until official help arrived.

Motorbike Taxi stopped and started shaking the man. I moved the motorcycle taxi along swiftly and stopped him from touching the man.

We placed a jacket under his head and monitored his breathing.

Others arrived. One called an ambulance; but they could not take him anywhere without his permission. I noted an iPhone in his shirt pocket, but I did not want to touch it until there were others on the scene. Now there were others there, I removed it from his shirt pocket. There were just two foreign numbers stored on it; but no mobile package. So I could not call. Happily my friend had a phone and created a HotSpot so I could make the call. The first number was no longer available. The second number there was no reply! I tried again. This time the second number picked up. It was his son; at work in his native country.

The only words the older man would utter were 'motorbike'. He seemed most concerned about that. I also noticed that he was protecting one one his pockets instinctively. Part of the reason that I decided to stay the whole hog. To make sure nothing was taken and that everything was done to the best of my ability.

Thais were insisting that he was drunk, annoying me slightly. There was no evidence that he had even been drinking.

City Police were called and arrived in a pick up. Through his son, I learned where he lived and we decided to take him there. I wheeled his bike into the car park of Home Pro and one of the City Police guys liaised with management there to ensure that his bike was safe and also because you normally cannot park overnight there.

We took him to his accommodation but could not find the friends that his son described. After some investigation, found out that the son had the friends on the wrong floor(one floor out). Friends were contacted and they came down and took over from there. Got him to the hospital where he was diagnosed with having suffered a stroke, diabetes, sepsis and a fractured skull ????

This a man in his late eighties. He survived his operations and his son flew in from abroad to take him home to live with them

He credits me with saving his father's life. I credit everyone. I was just the catalyst.

BTW he had 80k in the pocket that I noticed he was trying to protect. Apparently he was going to pay for something.

So through all that, I could see that his faculties were all there and he just needed a safe space to gather his senses.

 

Some people are already dead inside. Love and care are strangers to them; they care about no one; not even themselves. 

By loving and caring; you ensure that you can feel love and care. If you don't have the capacity and trust in mankind, you will never know the feeling. Be how you want the world to be. I am kind and I see the world as kind to me. I appreciate everything.

 

Nice one. You should be Proud

[Mac Mickmanus]

56 minutes ago, poohy said:

A slight aside

Its humour always has been always will be

same as welsh irish  indian Australian any others you can pick  and add yourself

 

Now I'm Welsh descent with a dark skinned mum who i follow

 

shagging sheep

Black shhep of the family 

velcro gloves

long socks

wife called bAAAbara

edge of cliffs

 

does it bother me not a bit

Oh it was humour , I missed the joke and thought that he was being serious 

[Mac Mickmanus]

58 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Thais aren't a race.

Did you mean bigoted?

Racisms doesn't have to be directed at a certain race , when you target an ethnic group or peoples , that constitutes racism , so , I didnt mean "bigoted" , I meant racism 

[Bruno123]

14 minutes ago, seedy said:

Nice one. You should be Proud

Proud? Proud for doing what should be normal? For me it is the way. Without the ability to love and care, we are but worthless.

My motto has been to not let the world make me bad. 

If something unpleasant happens, I have to be careful to not pass it on to the next person and to ruin their lives because something bad happened to me. Like a bad virus. It would also make me a less attractive person and hurt my prospects.

So really, my actions are completely selfish. I am trying to be the best person I can be; whilst maintaining good health and stability. Pride doesn't come into it for me. 

I had to ride around the block a few times afterwards just to get my emotions back in check. 

 

So in reply to the OP; do not diminish yourself because of the actions of others. Sometimes I will react mistakenly or rashly. What if such an action caused someone to think they will not ever try to be nice anymore?

Sometimes people are stressed out and momentarily react without thinking of the wider consequence. 

Perhaps that man felt bad for shouting at you for opening the door for his wife afterwards; but of course you were long gone. Maybe she was stressing him out or had recently cheated on him...

All like passing on a bad virus. I refuse to do it. So I make effort to restore myself to my best condition in so that I can most always treat people nicely. That way they have a good vibe to pass on; as opposed to the 'bad virus'. It works as people pass good vibes back to me ????

 

Of course you get people who just take and take and rarely give; but we have to just spend less time with/avoid those and keep to our loving best. 

Don't allow yourself to be diminished by momentary hate/negativity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[seedy]

1 hour ago, Bruno123 said:

Proud? Proud for doing what should be normal? For me it is the way. Without the ability to love and care, we are but worthless.

Normal for most posters in this thread is NOT to help

"the usual, average, or typical state or condition." - as per OED

[daveAustin]

On 12/16/2021 at 5:20 AM, 4MyEgo said:

Remind me not to help you up when your down, what goes around comes around.

 

Helping others is part of being humane, you just keep counting your coins Georgie.

Indeed. The world is messed up nowadays if people are afraid to help, though I do understand if folk have been burned and of course there is a lot of scum around. All I know is over the years I’ve been bowled over by the generosity of spirit by random Thai people when I needed help… and they really didn’t need to do a thing.  

[Bruno123]

17 minutes ago, seedy said:

Normal for most posters in this thread is NOT to help

"the usual, average, or typical state or condition." - as per OED

I am not sure that I read it that way. More that people are cautious. Another fear they have acquired; which in turn limits their life experiences.

Understandable. Gives them the feeling of protection from possible hurt/harm.

Edited December 22, 2021 by Bruno123

[seedy]

2 hours ago, Bruno123 said:

 Gives them the feeling of protection from possible hurt/harm.

If true what utterly boring lives they must have led.

[poohy]

4 hours ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Oh it was humour , I missed the joke and thought that he was being serious 

Well it did not offend me the guy was sayimg what he thought and is entitled to say regardless of what woke people think

  but im not a shrinking  violet You are just humourless actually i bet you are the life an soul of a party what would Dave Allen make of your name

Edited December 22, 2021 by poohy

[Mac Mickmanus]

42 minutes ago, poohy said:

Well it did not offend me the guy was sayimg what he thought and is entitled to say regardless of what woke people think

  but im not a shrinking  violet You are just humourless actually i bet you are the life an soul of a party what would Dave Allen make of your name

Well , I am not a woke person or a shrinking violet and it didnt offend and Dave Allen is dead , so there is no way of finding out what he would think about my name . 

  I'll tell you a joke *All Thais are deceptive cheats *

Ha ha , bet that made you laugh, didn't it

[4MyEgo]

11 hours ago, daveAustin said:

Indeed. The world is messed up nowadays if people are afraid to help, though I do understand if folk have been burned and of course there is a lot of scum around. All I know is over the years I’ve been bowled over by the generosity of spirit by random Thai people when I needed help… and they really didn’t need to do a thing.  

Not helping people when in need would be like turning me into something I am not, that said, before helping I would do my due diligence best I could, then proceed to help, never bitten yet and if it ever did occur, if ever, I would worry about it then, but to live in fear because of the potential of what happened to someone else or what might happen is just inhumane IMO.

 

 

Edited December 22, 2021 by 4MyEgo

[seedy]

2 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

but to live in fear because of the potential of what happened to someone else or what might happen is just inhumane IMO.

An apt description of the Covid mess

[4MyEgo]

31 minutes ago, seedy said:

An apt description of the Covid mess

For some, however those that choose to live in fear will come to realise that death is part of life, sooner or later for it is inevitable, so should chose to not live in fear, but choose to live for the sake of living.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

Not helping people when in need would be like turning me into something I am not, that said, before helping I would do my due diligence best I could, then proceed to help, never bitten yet and if it ever did occur, if ever, I would worry about it then, but to live in fear because of the potential of what happened to someone else or what might happen is just inhumane IMO.

It's not about living in fear, it's about not caring about people I don't know.

Nobody has ever been able to explain to me why I should care about people I don't know.

[robblok]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

It's not about living in fear, it's about not caring about people I don't know.

Nobody has ever been able to explain to me why I should care about people I don't know.

Some people get a good feeling from doing so. Others just like to pat themselves on the back for doing it. The reasons vary but if that is not for you then don't. Ill help people but it totally depends on the situation. If i see someone struggling to get a trolley up a ramp i might help. No skin of my back and it does not really make me feel good.

 

But I have been on the receiving end of others helping me. Once my bike broke down some Thai guys came and brought me home no money exchanged hands. I got introduced to a guy who like me liked fishing he helped me find new lakes to fish. So it really depends on the situation. I never been one to donate money to Africa or stuff like that. But if i got some computer parts left and i see someone i think deserves it (but again those people i know) i just give them away. 

 

I saw a lady collecting bottles in my street from that day onwards i always called her to give her my soda bottles. I did not know her but i saw she collected them and was poor. So why not. Most of the time it does not cost me a thing no effort so then sure.

 

Donating to good causes, not so much as they often have top heavy institutions taking their cut.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 hours ago, billd766 said:

Which means that my opinion must be just as valid as yours.

Isn't that what I said?

[BritManToo]

19 minutes ago, robblok said:

I saw a lady collecting bottles in my street from that day onwards i always called her to give her my soda bottles. I did not know her but i saw she collected them and was poor. So why not. Most of the time it does not cost me a thing no effort so then sure.

Giving stuff you don't need to locals is a bit different though.

I leave stuff I don't want by the rubbish bin, it's usually taken before the bin man comes round.

[thaibeachlovers]

20 minutes ago, robblok said:

Some people get a good feeling from doing so. Others just like to pat themselves on the back for doing it. The reasons vary but if that is not for you then don't. Ill help people but it totally depends on the situation. If i see someone struggling to get a trolley up a ramp i might help. No skin of my back and it does not really make me feel good.

 

But I have been on the receiving end of others helping me. Once my bike broke down some Thai guys came and brought me home no money exchanged hands. I got introduced to a guy who like me liked fishing he helped me find new lakes to fish. So it really depends on the situation. I never been one to donate money to Africa or stuff like that. But if i got some computer parts left and i see someone i think deserves it (but again those people i know) i just give them away. 

 

I saw a lady collecting bottles in my street from that day onwards i always called her to give her my soda bottles. I did not know her but i saw she collected them and was poor. So why not. Most of the time it does not cost me a thing no effort so then sure.

 

Donating to good causes, not so much as they often have top heavy institutions taking their cut.

I like to donate used stuff I don't need to op shops, but sadly the rubbish skip where I live is always full of perfectly good stuff that people can't be bothered taking to the op shop. I'll even rescue stuff and wash it before giving to op shop.

Can't understand why anyone thinks most people care about others when it's apparent to me that they don't.

[robblok]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Giving stuff you don't need to locals is a bit different though.

I leave stuff I don't want by the rubbish bin, it's usually taken before the bin man comes round.

Its not a major good deed, but it makes her life easier to give her those bottles. I separate them and done. Makes her happy and is no effort on my side. I am just talking small things here to help nothing major and not all the time.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, robblok said:

Its not a major good deed, but it makes her life easier to give her those bottles. I separate them and done. Makes her happy and is no effort on my side. I am just talking small things here to help nothing major and not all the time.

I have no problem doing small things for people I know, like offering a ride to someone I know that doesn't have a car, but I'll never give a large loan to anyone again ( lost a year's income by lending money to a long time ( ex ) friend ). Worst transgressions against me were by people I knew and thought were my friends.

[toofarnorth]

On 12/20/2021 at 11:45 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

I did use to help people I didn't know, but get exploited for long enough and even those naive as I will see the light.

 

I've noticed that gratitude from those that I helped has evaporated . I used to pull over on the road so those that wished to drive faster than I could overtake, and most would toot as they passed to say thank you. Never happens now.

Seems to me that gratitude has been replaced by a sense of entitlement

When nurses in an A&E are assaulted by those they are trying to help, it says to me that society is <deleted>.

In such a <deleted> world, why would any want to help another, and when we do it is rare that the helped says as much as "thank you".

 

Now, I'll only help those that I know and deserve my help, but I will help them.

Yes a long way from WW2 when folk would help each other if a relative was killed or house bombed .

' Come in , sit down , I will make you a cuppa '.

[4MyEgo]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

It's not about living in fear, it's about not caring about people I don't know.

Nobody has ever been able to explain to me why I should care about people I don't know.

Reminds me of a time I was at Bondi Beach getting a sun tan after a swim, then all of a sudden I heard people shouting and running near me so I got up and quickly walked down to the water to see what was going on as I moved through the crowd and there was a girl, no more than 12 years old, not too far from the shore clinging to a board screaming hysterically, it was obvious that she went straight into a large nest of blue bottles, with them all over her back and legs as she lay on the board which was going nowhere fast, and couldn't move as she was in agony and no one was game enough to go in to help her to shore.

 

The only option that I saw was to go in and bring her in and I did, it was painful being stung by the blue bottles, very painful, but what was I to do, stand their like others and leave her there in pain, as soon as I brought her to shore she took off, no doubt to find her parents or friends, no thanks, and I didn't expect one as it was my call to go in, no one pressured me, but I would like to think that if one of my kids was in the same or similar situation, some good Samaritan or idiot, depending on how you see things, does the same. 

[billd766]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Giving stuff you don't need to locals is a bit different though.

I leave stuff I don't want by the rubbish bin, it's usually taken before the bin man comes round.

My wife saves all the empty soda and glass bottles, plastic bottles of all types, cardboard and old papers etc, plus our neighbours stuff until there is a pickup load then takes it to the salvage man. We used to have a Thai guy and his wife come and collect them but he hasn't been around for a long time.

[Bruno123]

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

It's not about living in fear, it's about not caring about people I don't know.

Nobody has ever been able to explain to me why I should care about people I don't know.

 

It's not obligatory. Depends on how you want to live. I would not be where I am now were it not for the efforts of other people; directly or indirectly.

I am also enormously privileged compared to many; in that I don't live hand to mouth. I have more time for things, of which many can only dream or cannot even imagine.

I can devote time to lofty ideals; something of which many do not have the luxury.

 

So if I can take the pressure off someone, even if only temporarily, in so they can think of something other than where they can get their next meal or sleep that night, I am happy to do that.

I don't need them to contribute their service in exchange ????

Spreading warmth and love and positivity as opposed to the doom and gloom in which some appear to choose to live.

I am often happy; so naturally I spread happiness. If I were a misery guts...guess what? I would spread misery and negativity.

 

I don't live in isolation. Neither do you. You already wrote that you would pick a local kid up off the ground if they fell and hurt themselves. That's the spirit. You don't get involved in EVERYTHING; but if there is something that you can do without serious detriment to yourself; likely you would do it.

 

I don't know these people; but I can see these people. So I 'know' their situation to a certain extent. 

The reality is that I give only a little of my most precious possession; my time. Just a few minutes daily. 

The food and money help them to create more time for themselves. Giving it to them doesn't impact my day to day life in a negative way.

Seems crazy to have everything and share nothing.

Being hungry and relying on handouts to eat doesn't sound like fun to me. 

Sitting at the top of the tree where all the fruits are and looking down at everyone dying of hunger at the bottom is not my idea of living.

 

During the bleak no tourist times, when I bought a takeaway meal for myself, I might buy four more and give them away on the way home. Many times I did not even get the opportunity to walk away before they began to eat.

 

It helps me to grow as a person. Combatting my natural shyness for example and feeling part of the community in which I live.

 

Another example(the person involved might even remember this) : Expat/tourist stumbled and fell in the street after a good night. I stopped my bike to check on him and waited until he gathered his senses. He took a moment, thanked me for my care and got up to carry on his way. Normal. 

I can recall many times where I either intervened in a mugging, stopped many fights or perhaps even saved a life or two.

 

If you are living just for yourself, then what's the point? It's the interactions with nature that makes life interesting. My fellow humans are part of that nature. 

 

We aren't expected to all be the same. I'm am just trying to be the best example of me ????