With the pandemic still being used as an excuse to keep us compliant and crime and road accidents dominating the ASEAN NOW news, Rooster thought it was time for some light hearted relief from the predictable madness. 

 

So here, in no particular order are some of my observations gleaned since I first darkened Thailand’s doors. When Mrs Thatcher was sending a fleet to what Argentinians called “Islas Malvinas”....

 

I’m sure there are people who have been in the kingdom much longer than me who can come up with a much better list so give it a go in the comments. For those who have got their wings - ten years residence in my view - some of these will strike a chord with you, too, as they are not all as old as the Khao Yai hills. 

 

Enjoy! It’s entitled: “I remember Thailand when….

 

...the only ATM was a mother-in-law, and she was just open for deposits; when fixed bank interest rates stood at 15% and sterling was worth 93 baht and rising. 

 

…the taxi driver never turned on the meter because there wasn’t one; taxis were better for free Thai lessons than noisy tuk-tuks even though the latter were more exciting especially when they turned over.

 

...the Bangkok police stood on main roads at the end of the month to relieve motorcyclists of their money but nobody fined you for not wearing a helmet - the law didn’t even exist; green micro-buses belched smoke and a trip on a regular city bus had just been raised to 2 baht from 1.50. Scandalous!

 

...when the conductress shouted “mee dek duay” (kid getting on/off) and I was touched that adults stood for children. Now everyone has their noses in their phones and the outside world is unnoticed.

 

...only one in a thousand wore a mask and you could enjoy a Thai lady smiling coyly after you caught her glancing in your direction.

 

... there was no such thing as the BTS and the streets flooded in Sukhumvit for months on end instead of just a few hours.

 

...motorcycle shops sold choppers  from Japan and it said on the Green Book “brought in in bits”; hardly any cars were even made in Thailand. 

 

...the Bangkok Bank on Silom at 21 storeys was the tallest building in Thailand and my first Japanese student said she’d lived on the fourth floor in Lang Suan and it was the highest property for miles around. 

 

...the Thai government said they’d make sure the visiting Japanese foreign minister would be taken for a soapy massage, PM Chartchai was pictured in the Post on a Honda Rebel and PM Banharn, when asked “Comment allez-vous?” after he said he had a French degree, replied “Arai Wa?”

 

...a bungalow on Chaweng beach was 50 baht a night and similarly priced mushroom omelettes were on the menu under “No Name”; when the owner of Candlelight beach bungalow on Samet was murdered and I thought this exceptional; when a trek through the jungle was necessary to get to White Sands beach from the port on Koh Chang.

 

...Panga Wimoo ran a guest house near Fang and introduced the westerners to a substance he called “fin”.

 

...you could win a pick-up from the top of a Lipovitan-D bottle(I once won 5 baht….).

 

...a happy hour Kloster at Patpong was 25 baht and 40 after 9 pm and the girls all seemed like angels; when “One Night in Bangkok played” and we gyrated after hours to “Rhythm is a Dancer” at the Superstar Disco or at Nasa to Carabao’s “Made in Thailand” or sang the English words of a western song as the mondegreen “ai hia, ai naa, ai sat, son teen” (ask a Thai if you’re unsure of the meanings, but be careful…)

 

...you needed tax clearance in Banglamphu to leave the country, permanent residence cost just 20,000 baht and the British Embassy actually offered a service.

 

….the girls in the Thermae coffee shop greeted you in Thai rather than Japanese; and how the “niterie entertainment scene” was never the same again when a 1,000 baht note was introduced).

 

...the first McDonald’s was opened (c. 1985 at Sogo I think) and you got your fast food fast instead of waiting half an hour for the Grab orders. 

 

...I could look down and see my feet instead of leaning and toppling over. 

 

...the Thai police didn’t take bribes and then I woke up in a fearful sweat realising it had all been a terrible dream.

 

...a Thai woman carrying a little extra weight after a one night stand thanked me with a “wai'' after I gave her one baht for the Thong Lo soi bus.

 

...music was all on pirated  25 baht cassettes next to Lacoste shirts and Rolex made in Thailand and Hong Kong (the better ones…).

 

...kids actually went to school and were taught by teachers in places called classrooms instead of by their parents at home.

 

... the only supermarket in Thailand was Villa’s lone branch on Sukhumvit (though I still can’t afford most of their prices); when a cornetto was 5 baht and the only milk was banana flavored Foremost in Soi Ngam Duplee near the Malaysia Hotel.

 

...an IT teacher introduced me to something called an “icon” on a computer screen, a huge desktop cost me 25,000 baht and CD-Rom and diskettes were all the rage.

 

...my first mobile phone cost 20,000 baht (a Siemens flip thing) and you needed to sign all sorts of documents to show you were not a criminal; when such a phone didn’t have the internet (what??) and cameras were things that had Olympus written on the side and you took Kodak film in to be developed.

 

...my two bedroom flat in Soi 39 cost 5,750 baht yet Japanese residents couldn’t find a place to live for less than 60,000. 

 

...Thais paid 1,000 baht departure tax and foreigners were allowed to come and go for free. 

 

and finally…

 

...watching The Killing Fields in Soi Cowboy in the daytime and walking out into the scorching afternoon sun and realizing we were only a few hundred kilometers from the Cambodian border where the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot still reigned. 

 

Yes, today seems mundane in comparison to the excitement of the 80s and 90s, even the noughties. If only us pensioners could turn back the clock….

 

So herewith some of the noteworthy news of the last seven days.

 

In Rooster’s northern Bangkok bolthole a by-election dealt a shattering defeat to dinosaur Prayut whose party limped in fourth. Not to worry, I’m sure he’ll find a way to make sure Pheu Thai suffer for their temerity in thrashing his khaki clad butt. 

 

In the north-west 28 illegal Myanmar migrants were found stuffed in a Chevy. Someone who broke wind feared they’d be beaten to death. 

 

A Pit Bull - don’t they make lovely cute pets for children eh, dog lovers - mauled a woman waiting for her relative in the garden. Many on the forum decided it was the Thai owners at fault, encore une fois. 

 

Officials in Rayong scurried (the most used word of the week) to contain the oil spill that print media said would wipe 1.5 billion baht off Koh Samet’s tourism coffers in the next few months. Never mind, fish were still declared edible. 

 

Wishing she hadn’t eaten raw prawns was a Phitsanulok woman who loved “Kung Chae Nam Plaa” and got a parasite in her eye blinding her. 

 

Test and Go was resurrected and almost 0.001% of previous tourist numbers were interested. My daughter called her and her brother’s upcoming visit “biting the bullet” rather than coming to see their dear old dad. They must quarantine on Day 1 and 5 but the flights only cost 16,000 baht return to London.

 

Thai media continues to put out the myth that there is no quarantine. 

 

A gun toting loony in Chanthaburi settled four scores on a murder spree. The forum questioned Rooster’s bathetic choice of the word “disgruntled” for Prasit; that made your columnist decidedly gruntled all week. 

 

We were told that Covid-22 was on the way, not to mention Omicron sub-variants. Zzzzzzzzz……

 

In Thong Lo the local constabulary “lined up to get something” outside a business premises. An investigation was promised as the forum went on a click-fest.

 

In Chiang Mai an 88 year old British resident crashed his car into a police box then got out and urinated over it. The car, not the police box - that would have been terrible. Shades of Basil Fawlty beating up his car. Forum posters bickered about which country’s nationals are the worst behaved. 

 

Brits sneaked it by a whisker with Americans having to take second place for once. Australians used the word “pom” with gay abandon even though it’s been deleted from the Scrabble dictionary as a slur in the latest cull.

 

When are the moderators going to get on the politically correct bandwagon!

 

(Some while back, thinking myself helpful to word gaming buddies, I put all 400 deleted slurs on my Facebook page - FB threatened me with a ban if I didn't remove my post).

 

In international news, Facebook announced a first ever quarterly drop in users in their 18 year history. TikTok is on the march; time for Mark Suckerberg to make a trip to Bangkok, where there is the highest per capita FB use in the world. Bankokians demand to be recognized!

 

In sports news Britain's mixed doubles curling team gave Canada a sound beating at the Winter Olympics. This completely overshadowed Rafael Nadal’s heroics in Melbourne.

 

David Goodwillie is considering changing his name to Badwillie after being hired by Raith Rovers then effectively sacked. There was a huge backlash at the Scottish football club (oxymoron alert)  for employing a man named as a rapist in a civil case. 

 

Finally the tourist police in Phuket spent all week scurrying. First they scurried to limit the damage done by the taxi mafia who had a go at a Thai/Indian tourist. A senior cop said ride hailing apps were here to stay, the taxi drivers wai-ed and nodded then went back to sharpening their knives. 

 

Then tourism plod pulled out all the stops to try and get a tourist from Greece reunited with 4,900 Euros he had left overnight in an unlocked car at a condominium. 

 

Mmmm….

 

It all seemed like Greek to me.

 

What a shame it wasn’t a taxi, then he could have been assured of the return of the money.

 

In full. 

 

Rooster

 

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Ah memories.

21 years ago on Samui - go to a local restaurant and order a beer whilst deciding what to eat. The owner would jump on his bike and buy a cold one from the nearest 7/11.

Then when you ordered the food - the owner's wife would go and buy it at the market!

Enjoyed reading this...... Thank you!..I remember the Baht@78!

In the 1980s I got caught on the 90 day exit tax at Dong Muang, near midnight.  After a five hour drive from Sattahip. No motorways then. At immigration I paid my bt500 for overstay and was then told to go to the tax office the next day. Fortunately my wife was still outside departures. She contacted her brother, a local top cop who arrived and persuaded them to fine me and let me go, just as my luggage was about to be off loaded. The officers had  added up my previous visits??? The mysteries and surprises of the Orient.? Those were the days.????

 

Those were the best times in Thailand, when you could park your scooter just outside Superstar bar on Patpong One Rd. and if you were too <deleted> when coming out from the bar a friendly police would help you to get you up on the bike.

"when a trek through the jungle was necessary to get to White Sands beach from the port on Koh Chang"

 

First time I went to koh Chang, possibly in 1992, you took a fishing boat to White Sands beach. People that were staying there, swam out pushing a raft with a rope attached. You climbed off the boat and on to the raft and they pulled you to shore. 

 

2nd time I went, a year or so later, a man that lived in a shack on the right side of the beach when viewed from the sea, came out for you in a long-tail boat.

 

There was no electricity, only diesel generator. Eat what they had. Sleep and rise early when your room fan stopped around 6am.

 

Third time I went the road was built to White Sands, there were small bars cropping up right on the sands and it was a very different place.

 

 

 

"the only supermarket in Thailand was Villa’s lone branch on Sukhumvit". A trip to Washington cinema, then to that Villa opposite and in the soi there was a newspaper distributors shop, so I'd treat myself to a thick UK newspaper and spend days reading every word then pass on to a mate...pre-internet days. Anybody coming from the UK would pass on the newspapers they'd brought over and you'd read everything.

 

 

Yes, Right On !!! and Nice one Roster, and well put .... "The way things were" ??? .... Mostly. ... 

 

... And yes ... P. O. M. .... Prisoner of her Majesty, ... a slight at early Australians Really ??? .... and not originally at the British at all ??? ... I think ??? .... and well, not an Insult Really either .... Like "Aboriginal" ??? ... Just a technicality Really ??? .... Like we ALL know what A Real Insult is !!! ... And well I suspect ... knowing the last two ???/ That ... “ai hia, ai naa, ai sat, son teen” IS !!! ??? ... So thanks Mate, !!!! .... And until next week. ... and well yes Take Car ....

 

 (... Though Ps. .... Benign and boring or not, most versions of CV 19 I think ? .... CAN kill old people ... AND those with Pre existing Weaknesses !!! ... And very fast also I am sure !!! ... Like while they are thinking about calling the ambulance ???? ....  ??? ... )

 

... Though well, being fully vaccinated, WILL probably save them though. ... Why I waited nearly another Full year, to get back here !!! ... apart from other miss planning, changes, and political opportunism, .... locking me in !!!  .... It WAS to get triple jabbed in the end !!! ... .... And now am even more certain that it was 100% the right think to do !!! ...  (And for my 90 Year old mother who I was staying with at the time, while trapped for nearly 2 Years also, like I now have to worry about her Much MUCH less !!! ??? Right ??? ... )

 

... I have Better not go on ... Free Now ... comparatively ... and well, Boordome now is mu only enemy !!! ??? Right ??? .... Not like the good old days, as you say !!! ... Right ???

I remember the sales pitch. Made Hong Kong not Thailand and sitting at a bar on Beach Road Pattaya and seeing another Brit wearing a tee-shirt "The Empire Strikes Back"

Old men are always talking about their past.......and don't realize even.????

2 hours ago, car720 said:

Strange because it is actually spelt "pohm", for Prisoner Of Her Majesty."

 

I have fond memories of a sleazy bunch of bars between soi 20 and 22 with pool tables and cheap booze but that was the early 70's. It was opposite that hotel (was it called the Windsor, I can't remember) where all the septic non-coms etc... were put up.

If it really meant prisoner of her majesty it would have to refer to aussies as non of the brits there are prisoners these days unless they have escaped

Remember Pattaya, the bus station was in soi 2, welcome inn in soi 3 and not much from there until Pattaya Klang. There was Tahitian Queen running, Daves GB bar on the front. Soi 6 not even dreamed of, walking street not thought of. Spinney's supermarket in soi Post Office, Friendship supermarkey between beach road and second road where it turns up before walking street. Tropical storm taking all the tarmac off that road and leaving it on the beach with all the broken boats from the bay and all the fallen trees. 5 tee shirts for 100 baht. Simon bar and Katoey show in south Pattaya and Soi BJ RIP.

No mention of the heady days when a cheerful tuk tuk driver would load up his carriage with 5 or 6 passengers that had tumbled out of the Blue Fox on Soi Ngaam Duplee and for 15 baht take them all the way to Patpong.

When Spinney's supermarket was in Soi post office in Pattaya, but you could not get HP sauce or Heinz beans. So you had to load up when you went on a visa run to Penang.

37 minutes ago, MUSTYJACK said:

No mention of the heady days when a cheerful tuk tuk driver would load up his carriage with 5 or 6 passengers that had tumbled out of the Blue Fox on Soi Ngaam Duplee and for 15 baht take them all the way to Patpong.

Blue Fox was owned by a cop and was together with Thermea open on Buddha days. Nearby Malaysia hotel was also rocking, lots of girls there.

Yes, the first McDonalds was in Amarin Plaza (where it still is), and Thais, anxious to try this exotic new food experience, queued around the block when it first opened, despite the, for then, outrageous prices. It opened a little later than 1986 I think - maybe 1988 or 9? 

15 minutes ago, HiSoLowSoNoSo said:

Blue Fox was owned by a cop and was together with Thermea open on Buddha days. Nearby Malaysia hotel was also rocking, lots of girls there.

It was quite the place to be in those days when Thailand really was an adventure. 

All those little guest houses and the Boston Inn, the Malaysia, the Sri Bumphen apartments the trips to the Charoen Kreung Post Office to pick up mail and make overseas phone calls and the Immigration Department just around the corner.

 

There were often shady Arthur Daly type Thais coming into the Blue Fox searching out farangs down on their luck and offering them lucrative smuggling trips to Bangladesh and India. It was also where the TV and film industry came looking when they wanted some white faced extras for their productions. 

 

Farangs were a privileged minority back in those days.

Excellent Rooster. Happy days, fun times. Back then it really was the Land of Smiles.

I first came to Thailand as a consultant to a manufacturing operation in Map Ta Phut in the late eighties. One night, the company president took 15 staff out to dinner at a live seafood restaurant, with me as the guest of honor. The beer flowed freely, as did the seafood cooked to order after selection from the tanks.

When I expressed some misgivings about the cost of the party, the company president said the total was AUD 75, or $5 per person.

I also was impressed by the beauty and grace of Thai women, and the fact quite a few seemed to be hooked up with Thai and Western men who, to put it politely, were a lot older and ugly as a hatful of bums to boot.

I think those two experiences planted the seeds for my eventual retirement in Thailand.

5 hours ago, car720 said:

Strange because it is actually spelt "pohm", for Prisoner Of Her Majesty."

 

I have fond memories of a sleazy bunch of bars between soi 20 and 22 with pool tables and cheap booze but that was the early 70's. It was opposite that hotel (was it called the Windsor, I can't remember) where all the septic non-coms etc... were put up.

Of course it's not spelt "pohm"! And the word is actually "pommie".

3 hours ago, Mark mark said:

Yes, Right On !!! and Nice one Roster, and well put .... "The way things were" ??? .... Mostly. ... 

 

... And yes ... P. O. M. .... Prisoner of her Majesty, ... a slight at early Australians Really ??? .... and not originally at the British at all ??? ... I think ??? .... and well, not an Insult Really either .... Like "Aboriginal" ??? ... Just a technicality Really ??? .... Like we ALL know what A Real Insult is !!! ... And well I suspect ... knowing the last two ???/ That ... “ai hia, ai naa, ai sat, son teen” IS !!! ??? ... So thanks Mate, !!!! .... And until next week. ... and well yes Take Car ....

 

 (... Though Ps. .... Benign and boring or not, most versions of CV 19 I think ? .... CAN kill old people ... AND those with Pre existing Weaknesses !!! ... And very fast also I am sure !!! ... Like while they are thinking about calling the ambulance ???? ....  ??? ... )

 

... Though well, being fully vaccinated, WILL probably save them though. ... Why I waited nearly another Full year, to get back here !!! ... apart from other miss planning, changes, and political opportunism, .... locking me in !!!  .... It WAS to get triple jabbed in the end !!! ... .... And now am even more certain that it was 100% the right think to do !!! ...  (And for my 90 Year old mother who I was staying with at the time, while trapped for nearly 2 Years also, like I now have to worry about her Much MUCH less !!! ??? Right ??? ... )

 

... I have Better not go on ... Free Now ... comparatively ... and well, Boordome now is mu only enemy !!! ??? Right ??? .... Not like the good old days, as you say !!! ... Right ???

I don't think the synapses are properly connected. A short-circuit somewhere!

6 hours ago, Tropicalevo said:

Ah memories.

21 years ago on Samui - go to a local restaurant and order a beer whilst deciding what to eat. The owner would jump on his bike and buy a cold one from the nearest 7/11.

Then when you ordered the food - the owner's wife would go and buy it at the market!

I believe several of the bars, sorry restaurant bars still order in food!!! of course they are lawful and have a restaurant license, the only thing missing is a kitchen!!!!

8 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I first came to Thailand as a consultant to a manufacturing operation in Map Ta Phut in the late eighties. One night, the company president took 15 staff out to dinner at a live seafood restaurant, with me as the guest of honor. The beer flowed freely, as did the seafood cooked to order after selection from the tanks.

When I expressed some misgivings about the cost of the party, the company president said the total was AUD 75, or $5 per person.

I also was impressed by the beauty and grace of Thai women, and the fact quite a few seemed to be hooked up with Thai and Western men who, to put it politely, were a lot older and ugly as a hatful of bums to boot.

I think those two experiences planted the seeds for my eventual retirement in Thailand.

Well they ate real food then, now its fast food from the mobile kitchens!! still tastes good but thats what MSG is for isn't it, such a shame as the woman are 20kgs heavier from this! In 1988 when I first visited Bangkok you rarely saw a fat lady, the odd slightly plump one but very few fat woman, now they are on every street corner and some!!! Phuket was then paradise, I visited 25 years later and what a transformation!

8 minutes ago, crouchpeter said:

I don't think the synapses are properly connected. A short-circuit somewhere!

POM - "Prisoner of Her Majesty", that is where the Nick Name POM came from ... a straight out fact of History. ...

3 minutes ago, paul1804 said:

Well they ate real food then, now its fast food from the mobile kitchens!! still tastes good but thats what MSG is for isn't it, such a shame as the woman are 20kgs heavier from this! In 1988 when I first visited Bangkok you rarely saw a fat lady, the odd slightly plump one but very few fat woman, now they are on every street corner and some!!! Phuket was then paradise, I visited 25 years later and what a transformation!

Not my GF, she starts freaking out if she hits 43 kg. Although I suppose I do qualify as one of the old and ugly farangs.

4 hours ago, SheikYabodyline said:

Yes, the first McDonalds was in Amarin Plaza (where it still is), and Thais, anxious to try this exotic new food experience, queued around the block when it first opened, despite the, for then, outrageous prices. It opened a little later than 1986 I think - maybe 1988 or 9? 

I remember in 1987 there was a McDonald’s on the ground floor of the Robinsons Department Store on the corner of Silom and Rama 4, across from the Dusit Thani hotel.

A couple other fast food chains I remember- Tom’s Quick and Hoburger.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane.  I remember a couple of trips to Phuket, where I stayed at a small motel

called Friendship Bungalows, which were ran by a couple of cute Thai sisters. I stayed at the Dynasty and Nana Hotels 

near the Nana Plaza. The ride to Don Muang airport was 200 baht from Nana Hotel, and it was fun to walk

the sidewalk markets along Sukhumvit.  There was a row of bars along a railroad track between Sukhumvit and

Ploen Chit roads. People had to wear a tie to be able to enter the Oriental Hotel on the Chao Phraya  river.

  Those were the good old days. Life seemed more exciting and interesting back then, and people were

more friendly and happy to see the tourists. Or maybe I was just green and never seen the true Thailand

back then.

15 hours ago, Dionigi said:

Remember Pattaya, the bus station was in soi 2, welcome inn in soi 3 and not much from there until Pattaya Klang. There was Tahitian Queen running, Daves GB bar on the front. Soi 6 not even dreamed of, walking street not thought of. Spinney's supermarket in soi Post Office, Friendship supermarkey between beach road and second road where it turns up before walking street. Tropical storm taking all the tarmac off that road and leaving it on the beach with all the broken boats from the bay and all the fallen trees. 5 tee shirts for 100 baht. Simon bar and Katoey show in south Pattaya and Soi BJ RIP.

My oh my, so many memories. Dave's GB Bar on the front with the guy in earphones putting up the football scores. 

Well done Rooster!  I remember a number of those bits from the past.

22 hours ago, hashmodha said:

Enjoyed reading this...... Thank you!..I remember the Baht@78!

1999 I remember 35 Baht/A$, now down to 23 Baht

22 hours ago, webfact said:

the only ATM was a mother-in-law, and she was just open for deposits; when fixed bank interest rates stood at 15% and sterling was worth 93 baht and rising. 

The only thing i carried were travellers cheques

22 hours ago, webfact said:

when a trek through the jungle was necessary to get to White Sands beach from the port on Koh Chang.

The bungalows at KC resort 50b a night, shared toilets and showers, the old lady in reception sold  bags of weed, when you checked in along with the key, you were issued an oil lamp, no electric, no lady bars, now KC resort is a huge concrete place. After traveling up and down Thailand all those years ago, and a few times after, I came back about 15 yrs ago and headed straight for KC been here ever since.

Khaosan Rd was the place to head to on arriving, no minibuses picked you up from your hotel, you had to make your own way to a bus station, the Lonely Planet Book was your bible and the free bus maps. bamboo Bungalows at Krabi were directly on the beach with sand as your floor, I used to bury my PP and money in it.