My new Thai gf (35/f) invited me (42/m) to visit her family in Isaan after < 1 month of dating? I feel uncomfortable but agreed. What do you think?

[Myran]

2 hours ago, BarraMarra said:

If she is working why is this guy giving her money?

 

No idea. You'll have to ask them.

[Hummin]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Never happened to me. However they did steal everything they could after the divorce.

Well, brake ups is never easy,  if I divorce my wife, whats in Thailand is hers, everywhere else is mine. Rule nr one, do not invest more than you are willing to walk away from! If not bothered to take all necessary legal steps to make sure you have something if so happens. But for me, that means months with an x on my back, if not years. So rather pack up my bags and never look back.

 

Kind of good as well, and healthy, meaning you keep your self in check, and act like you have something to loose, and also easier to leave if not worth it.

 

I do have motorbikes and cars in my name, and thats it. Easy to clear out, and nothing to fight about. 

Edited July 9, 2023 by Hummin

[BarraMarra]

34 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Well, brake ups is never easy,  if I divorce my wife, whats in Thailand is hers, everywhere else is mine. Rule nr one, do not invest more than you are willing to walk away from! If not bothered to take all necessary legal steps to make sure you have something if so happens. But for me, that means months with an x on my back, if not years. So rather pack up my bags and never look back.

 

Kind of good as well, and healthy, meaning you keep your self in check, and act like you have something to loose, and also easier to leave if not worth it.

 

I do have motorbikes and cars in my name, and thats it. Easy to clear out, and nothing to fight about. 

Always have a BUP.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, BarraMarra said:

If she is working why is this guy giving her money?

 

Foreigner entry fee.

[Chelseafan]

On 7/8/2023 at 10:40 AM, at15 said:

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

 

Same as paying for sex, right?????

 

[KhunLA]

1 hour ago, Chelseafan said:

 

Same as paying for sex, right?????

 

For those that prefer to ... ????

[Phulublub]

Just now, KhunLA said:

For those that prefer to ... ????

But only with someone who has never been impregnated by another's sperm....whether there is a condom worn or not would seem to me to be immaterial to the equation.

 

PH

[KhunLA]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:40 PM, at15 said:

imagine dishing out your hard earned money to a woman that has been impregnated by another mans sperm. unbelievable.

You expecting to find a virgin in this day and age, especially if you are older than 15 yrs old, and good luck with.

[riclag]

Time will tell ! Spend as much as you can afford to give up!

Don’t let your smaller head do the thinking for you!

A week in Issan ,with the famIly isn’t enough time to decide your relationship!

You need to spend  6 months of living together with all of ups and downs before making  bigger steps!

imop

 

chok dee

[JimTripper]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:28 PM, mfd101 said:

As for money matters, that goes with the territory. Either get used to it or get out.

It’s possible to date above you, not below you. What that means is your reaching for people to date that are more wealthy then you. It is possible.

 

[OneMoreFarang]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:19 PM, AventurasEnMadrid said:

Feedback welcome.

So where is your feedback, after 5 pages of replies?

[OneMoreFarang]

20 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

It’s possible to date above you, not below you. What that means is your reaching for people to date that are more wealthy then you. It is possible.

But do you want that? Especially in Thailand.

It might be nice to be married to a woman from a rich family. But imagine you have some misunderstanding. And she tells her dad that you are so mean to her. Now what will her rich, and probably influential dad do?

 

[bignok]

5 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Not down a mud road.

Rains every day does it?

[spidermike007]

No. Don't do it. It is a very bad idea for some very good reasons. 

 

Well, we all seem to have a very different definition of what girlfriend is, or is not. I hear some men or women talk about being in love with someone after knowing them for a short time. All that is, is anxiety, impatience, and the intense desire to be in love. Some are more in love with the idea of being in love, than with the person they are with. I think for most of us who are emotionally healthy, the idea of taking one's time to really get to know someone, is alot more informative and desirable, than just losing oneself in the moment. 
 
I have seen countless men lose their fortunes, or at least their financial stability here, by moving too fast, assuming she is someone she definitely is not, and projecting too much onto someone they have not bothered to really get to know, and allowing the woman to push the agenda. Always push back against a timeline. Always. It is far better to lose the woman, than to unnecessarily lose your money and feel like a fool. 
 

I think finding a good woman requires a proper qualification process. Taking a long time to make a determination to see if she is worthy of your time, and devotion, is always a good idea. See what she is made of. See what kind of heart and soul she has. Many women like to push the timetable. It is up to us to push back. There are plenty of very good women here. Take your time finding one, and keep your standards high. You owe that to yourself. If it is good, time will reveal that. If there are issues, they will be revealed over time. Time is your ally. Use it wisely. 

[Hummin]

15 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

But do you want that? Especially in Thailand.

It might be nice to be married to a woman from a rich family. But imagine you have some misunderstanding. And she tells her dad that you are so mean to her. Now what will her rich, and probably influential dad do?

 

I dated a retired polie officers daughter once. She is still unmarried. 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

No. Don't do it. It is a very bad idea for some very good reasons. 

 

Well, we all seem to have a very different definition of what girlfriend is, or is not. I hear some men or women talk about being in love with someone after knowing them for a short time. All that is, is anxiety, impatience, and the intense desire to be in love. Some are more in love with the idea of being in love, than with the person they are with. I think for most of us who are emotionally healthy, the idea of taking one's time to really get to know someone, is alot more informative and desirable, than just losing oneself in the moment. 
 
I have seen countless men lose their fortunes, or at least their financial stability here, by moving too fast, assuming she is someone she definitely is not, and projecting too much onto someone they have not bothered to really get to know, and allowing the woman to push the agenda. Always push back against a timeline. Always. It is far better to lose the woman, than to unnecessarily lose your money and feel like a fool. 
 

I think finding a good woman requires a proper qualification process. Taking a long time to make a determination to see if she is worthy of your time, and devotion, is always a good idea. See what she is made of. See what kind of heart and soul she has. Many women like to push the timetable. It is up to us to push back. There are plenty of very good women here. Take your time finding one, and keep your standards high. You owe that to yourself. If it is good, time will reveal that. If there are issues, they will be revealed over time. Time is your ally. Use it wisely. 

If both love each other they can stay together and enjoy their time together. There is no need to marry and with that important financial decisions.

I don't know if some men think when they marry a woman that that binds the woman to them, like now she is mine. No, that is not the case.

And if she insist that you marry her now then think about why. Why can't she live another year with you without marriage? 

[Chelseafan]

On 7/8/2023 at 11:27 AM, Gecko123 said:

 

Go to Isaan to meet the family if you think it'd be a fun trip, but don't make any rash moves. You need extra time to get to know her when you are crossing cultural and language barriers. Jumping in with all fours usually ends in tears.

 

Good advise and make sure she knows that if the relationship is going to progress you want to get to know her better at a slower pace - Think with the big head not the little one.

If anything, it will be fun but probably boring but also an experience of REAL life in Thailand.

 

 

[Kwasaki]

6 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

If both love each other they can stay together and enjoy their time together. There is no need to marry and with that important financial decisions.

I don't know if some men think when they marry a woman that that binds the woman to them, like now she is mine. No, that is not the case.

And if she insist that you marry her now then think about why. Why can't she live another year with you without marriage? 

Come on now some women like commitment, you look for one's who don't, so ok for you.

[Fat is a type of crazy]

When I first went to my wife to be's home she told me dad would like you to take him a few places. I said no worries. He took me to a few places with rubber tree farms for sale and I said thank you for showing me but I am not interested in buying a farm in her name at this time. 

[mfd101]

1 hour ago, JimTripper said:

It’s possible to date above you, not below you. What that means is your reaching for people to date that are more wealthy then you. It is possible.

 

Characteristically - everywhere in the world - it is women who marry up, not men. Buried deep in our genes I should think, and not surprising.

[oxo1947]

On 7/8/2023 at 4:19 PM, AventurasEnMadrid said:

This time I feel a bit uncomfortable but have agreed.

So after a month of dating, your already doing things your uncomfortable with, or don't want to do...... come & tell us what she has got you doing after 3 months.

[KhunLA]

3 minutes ago, mfd101 said:

Characteristically - everywhere in the world - it is women who marry up, not men. Buried deep in our genes I should think, and not surprising.

Not sure about that, as I've married up 3X, (of 4) though first 2 weren't beneficial at all.  3rd beneficial, only since I can't own land here, and investing with and under her name has meant living here cost/rent free, all 23 yrs, and then some extra in the pocket.

[KhunLA]

3 minutes ago, oxo1947 said:

So after a month of dating, your already doing things your uncomfortable with, or don't want to do...... come & tell us what she has got you doing after 3 months.

@AventurasEnMadrid

can't wait till she brings up the Sin Sot, and no Thai person would pay for someone with kids already.  That should really let you see things clearly.

 

There will be a nice piece of land of hers or family you can build on, or buy something new in 'her' name.

 

RUN

[bignok]

On 7/8/2023 at 8:45 PM, CANSIAM said:

"She asked to meet her family after 1 week of dating"........extremely quick, I'd be done and running...........  

Why? It means she loves you. 

[riclag]

24 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

@AventurasEnMadrid

can't wait till she brings up the Sin Sot, and no Thai person would pay for someone with kids already.  That should really let you see things clearly.

 

There will be a nice piece of land of hers or family you can build on, or buy something new in 'her' name.

 

RUN

True! But too early in the relationship for that !

For the consideration she’s got two kids . This drastically lowers the sinsot contribution !

Its in his favor.

imop

 

Edited July 9, 2023 by riclag

[KhunLA]

7 minutes ago, riclag said:

True! But too early in the relationship for that !

For the consideration she’s got two kids . This drastically lowers the sinsot contribution !

Its in his favor.

imop

 

I doesn't lower it, it illuminated even asking for it.

 

Who pays extra for used, when you can rent or buy new.  Then if she wants to have a kid with him, just became a family of 4, without the hanger ons...

 

... RUN

[Plern]

This is the typical yob insurance

 

I think it's cheeky

 

Go along, pay for everything not out of line

 

Consider it a learning experience on many levels

 

Now you know the score you need not repeat this with another

 

Go find a different and younger woman

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

Come on now some women like commitment, you look for one's who don't, so ok for you.

I am since forever together with my gf. Most of the time we are happy and likely we will stay together until we die. In the time since we are together, I saw lots of couples marry and then divorce. It seems the marriage didn't help. 

[JimTripper]

5 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

But do you want that? Especially in Thailand.

It might be nice to be married to a woman from a rich family. But imagine you have some misunderstanding. And she tells her dad that you are so mean to her. Now what will her rich, and probably influential dad do?

 

If you’re afraid of her father I don’t recommend starting the relationship at all.

Edited July 9, 2023 by JimTripper

[mania]

Has to be a wind up

Six pages of yada yada yada but OP only ever made the original post

 

If not a troll then pretty sad state of affairs when a 42 year old man needs relationship advice

on a public forum & cannot decide on a simple matter of visiting GF's family or not

 

Ok I'll play along.....

My Advice would be for this girl to run from this sorry excuse of a man ????

Edited July 9, 2023 by mania