My Fellow Sufferers,

 

What’s your wife’s MAIN Strategy when you CONSTRUCTIVELY criticize any minor thing about either HER, or Her Performance?

 

For example:

 

If you make a minor constructive suggestion in order to help her…

Does she immediately divert the topic away from the subject you had just broached?

 

Does she almost totally disregard what you were trying to help her with, and instead begin talking about some completely unrelated fault of yours? A pet fault of yours she has already covered countless times? (Any fault, the first fault that pops into her head? Anything to divert the subject of discussion?)

 

Or, if she does not use this diversion strategy, then what DOES she do when you try to help her improve herself, to teach her something important?

 

Does your wife or GF take criticism well?

Does she thank you for your help?

 

Or, if not, then what does she do, most times?

 

Thank you for your help in my recent quest to better understand this kind of dynamic.

 

Regards,

Gamma

 

 

What's your reaction when she constructively criticizes you?

4 minutes ago, scorecard said:

What's your reaction when she constructively criticizes you?

I respond in a constructive manor.

I accept her criticism.

I thank her for her constructive remarks.

And then, I always try to improve myself based on her suggestions.

After several weeks have passed, then I ask her to rate me on my improvement.

if I still have not met her expectations,

Then I always try harder.

 

 

1 hour ago, GammaGlobulin said:

I respond in a constructive manor.

I accept her criticism.

I thank her for her constructive remarks.

And then, I always try to improve myself based on her suggestions.

After several weeks have passed, then I ask her to rate me on my improvement.

if I still have not met her expectations,

Then I always try harder.

 

 

You are married? I wouldn't have thought so from your past posts.

 

Re the OP, I'd never have been stupid enough to do so.

Here's some constructive criticism... find a different hobby than posting "crap"

She's perfect already.

What sort of "constructive criticism" do you expect from a plastic doll?

52 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You are married? I wouldn't have thought so from your past posts.

Twice...

But not counting.

 

9 minutes ago, nglodnig said:

What sort of "constructive criticism" do you expect from a plastic doll?

Have you seen the film Baby Doll?

Your answer is there:

 

 

 

I don't want to hurt my GF's feelings with criticism.

1 minute ago, Lacessit said:

I don't want to hurt my GF's feelings with criticism.

Sometimes, you gotta be cruel to be kind, though...

 

 

2 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Sometimes, you gotta be cruel to be kind, though...

 

 

I don't.

No criticism allowed otherwise I'm making my own tea/coffee and food and that is never going to happen again ????

2 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Does your wife or GF take criticism well?

Does she thank you for your help?

ha ha... I don't criticize her, but she would not take it kindly... 

 

As my Hawaiian Shaman teacher taught - 'Criticism kills love' 

15 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

As my Hawaiian Shaman teacher taught - 'Criticism kills love' 

Maybe the Hawaiian Shaman had never seen Virginia Woolf.

Certainly, no constructive criticism here...

 

 

 

 

Absolute fury for 'attacking' her followed by a 20 minute rant then a day of silence

2 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Sometimes, you gotta be cruel to be kind, though...

 

 

Ever heard of compromise?

 

21 minutes ago, scorecard said:

Ever heard of compromise?

 

That's for pussies, It's my way or the motorway.

What I notice in a status/face-obsessed culture is the sheer speed with which a problem caused by the other party is turned - in 1 second - in to a problem caused by you. Swivelling on the head of a pin.

 

I think they are trained in this valuable skill from the earliest age. Perhaps too there are classes for learning this skill in early schooling?

Most I have know one of two reactions. Full blown scorched earth psycho.episode or rolled eyes with that all knowing..."you are not Thai you not know anything" look

We're more in the ask the other person not to do X-zone. And then we grade on curve.

 

If X-annoying thing decreases by 60% or better, that minor problem is declared SOLVED.

 

And never, ever would we criticize each other in front of a third party.

Lemme get some inter-cultural advice from experts here:

 

A western guy was talking to his (30 years younger) Thai wife on speaker phone. She knew we could hear her.

 

She called him "foolish" for getting the wrong take away food order. And then reminded him of his error 3 more times.

 

How doomed is that guy?

I like a peaceful life and a steady supply of good meals etc. so I don't criticize Mm. Moon, ever. Even though I freely acknowledge that she's not perfect. Afterall who is?

You know the saying of going into one ear and out the other ? ????

9 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

Lemme get some inter-cultural advice from experts here:

 

A western guy was talking to his (30 years younger) Thai wife on speaker phone. She knew we could hear her.

 

She called him "foolish" for getting the wrong take away food order. And then reminded him of his error 3 more times.

 

How doomed is that guy?

Not at all.  Later that night he got her out of her kit.

6 hours ago, scorecard said:

What's your reaction when she constructively criticizes you?

I say" Well, you could be married to Gamma Globulin, he does'nt know how to shut up"! ????

4 hours ago, nglodnig said:

What sort of "constructive criticism" do you expect from a plastic doll?

The pull string on the back, just repeats "Get it right, get it right!'' 

6 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

What’s your wife’s MAIN Strategy when you CONSTRUCTIVELY criticize any minor thing about either HER, or Her Performance?

I don't, why start on minor things, what's the point? 

She accepts it, thanks me, and then changes her behaviour. No silly, she accepts it, thanks me, and then totally ignores what I have said.

6 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

I respond in a constructive manor.

I accept her criticism.

I thank her for her constructive remarks.

And then, I always try to improve myself based on her suggestions.

After several weeks have passed, then I ask her to rate me on my improvement.

if I still have not met her expectations,

Then I always try harder.

 

 

Wow, a perfect person.