What is Thai dating culture like?

[SiSePuede419]

  On 5/24/2024 at 8:59 PM, save the frogs said:

An engineer earning 150K USD per annum will be a lot more attractive to ladies than an English teaching sweating it out for 35,000 baht per month.

Expand  

Not in America.

Especially if the woman's father is an Engineer.

Then they're looking for a English major to get drunk with so they can pretend they don't have a drinking problem.

That got pretty specific quickly. 😆

[save the frogs]

  On 1/14/2025 at 6:19 PM, JensenZ said:

Sex work changes girls in irreversible ways. I

Expand  

A failed marriage and a couple of unrequited love stories changes men in irreversible ways. 

 

Everything is reversible, man. In time. 

[JensenZ]

  On 1/15/2025 at 12:26 AM, save the frogs said:

A failed marriage and a couple of unrequited love stories changes men in irreversible ways. 

 

Everything is reversible, man. In time. 

Expand  

Yes, a failed marriage and unsuccessful love stories are probably why many men take bar girls for girlfriends or marry them. Loneliness and heartbreak are powerful motivators.

 

Good luck in repurposing a bargirl into a life partner. Maybe there's some hope that "everything is reversible". It's usually newbies who try that. 

[chilli42]

  On 5/25/2024 at 11:42 AM, OneMoreFarang said:

 

I agree with the complicated mess.

I think that is one of those situations where you should switch off your brain and listen to your heart. 

By intuition we know lots of things which we wouldn't be able to describe with words.

Expand  

What brain might that be? The problem starts when men shut off the brain in their head and let the pocket brain do the thinking for them. 

[OneMoreFarang]

  On 1/15/2025 at 5:36 AM, chilli42 said:

What brain might that be? The problem starts when men shut off the brain in their head and let the pocket brain do the thinking for them. 

Expand  

And if the "pocket brain" is not compatible with whatever you call the other side then a relationship will likely fail.

 

If we look at relationships from people around us, how many of them match in age, job, culture, and whatever some people think is important?

I am sure matchmakers or matchmaker algorisms would never match me with my gf. But we are together since many years and happy. And I know other couples with very different background which are happy together. 

And then there are others who should be a good match, but they are not.

 

 

[happydreamer]

  On 5/24/2024 at 7:49 PM, mstevens said:

Your question is simple but the answer is complex. What exactly are you looking for? Many foreigners "dating" in Thailand are simply looking for a smorgasbord of bed partners. Others are looking for a life partner. Some are looking for a lady much younger, others are looking for someone of similar age.

 

If I was going to give advice about dating in Thailand, and I am assuming you're looking for a long-term relationship possibly leading to marriage, then I'd say to choose someone with a similar education to yourself. Try and find a lady who is not too much younger although this all depends on your age. If you're 60 and she's 40, fine. If you're 40 and she's 20, forget it.

 

Put your best foot forward. Get a decent haircut, wear some nice clothes, be unfailingly polite, treat her well, go slow and if you've been a bar hound in the past, give that lifestyle up. Be decent to her and a good lady will be very decent in return.

 

It helps if you have money. You needn't be rich but in Thailand the man is expected to be able to take care of a lady. Plenty of ladies these days pay their way, but you should not expect that. You should expect that she will look after you in other "non-monetary" ways.

 

Don't hunt online. There are some gems out there but there are lots of vultures too. Introductions through colleagues, friends, acquaintances etc are a better way to go.

 

If you want some more fine-tuned thoughts, maybe provide a little background on yourself such as age, job etc. These things do make a difference. An engineer earning 150K USD per annum will be a lot more attractive to ladies than an English teaching sweating it out for 35,000 baht per month.

 

That's a few ideas to start with.

Expand  

Excellent advice man.  

[happydreamer]

Look cool and be charming.  Smile a lot at strangers.  Go to a lounge with a bud, raise your glass to a table of ladies that glance your way.  They're looking for you to notice them.  If they raise their glass back to you order a round to their table.  Smile at them when it arrives.  Then go over there and talk to them.  This works best if you're only with one friend.  Don't bring a pack of hungry dogs with you.  

When I lived in Chiang Mai I literally met a girl without even speaking to her until she walked past my table to leave.  We had "air communications " all night raising glasses, smiling, pretending to text each other, tossing air messages to each other.  Make a game of it.  These girls like the cutesy <deleted>.

 

That was 7 years ago, had a fling with her, wasn't gonna work out as she was extremely jealous but we're still friends to this day.

 

Remember that in a room full of Thai people, if you're the handsome charming foreigner, you're somewhat of a token.  People will notice you , you'll stand out so use it to your advantage. 

[Airalee]

  On 1/13/2025 at 11:58 PM, thesetat said:

I find that women in medical or government or education and even in 7/11 are usually seeking a man who will make a good future hence they do not want you for the money but more for the security.

Expand  

Two of the biggest gold diggers I met were nurses.  One even had a friend warn me of said nurses intentions and informed me that she was just looking for a Farang because she had 2 million baht in debt from a failed business venture.

 

My experience has been that the women with the government, nursing and teaching jobs have easier access to loans and therefore are carrying the highest debt loads.

[Airalee]

  On 1/14/2025 at 1:57 AM, spidermike007 said:

Also, I have friends who use Tinder, and in Bangkok 98% of the gals on Tinder are civilians, who are looking for a friend, a date or some romance. Many of them are highly successful, open to a foreigner, and do not have time for a relationship, from what I am told by a few difference guys. 

Expand  

I found the opposite on Tinder.  Most were on the game.   Next worse was Thaifriendly and the one with the most civilians (as you call them) was Thaicupid.

[MeHere]

I met a lovely girl on a dating site Thai Cupid back around 2008, where I had narrowed down several great girls (from several different countries), eventually falling for this one Thai girl... After four or five trips, I decided she was the one, as we got along great. She found a house (in Bang Bon), purchased a pickup for me, I packed everything and moved to BKK back in 2009 to start our lives together. This lasted only about a year and a bit, but in the end, we weren't right for each other. We've remained friends to this day.

 

Living in BKK as a single guy with a good gig for a western company, the town is your oyster... but it can take its toll if you can't throttle yourself.

After we decided to call it quits, I went on a dating rampage (a bit like before we met)... and what a rampage it was; mostly with girls I met on Thai Friendly (when it was still somewhat new and not overrun by working girls)... Met a bunch of really great (and not so great but fun) girls on there too... There was a loose but full schedule.

 

I've always found dating sites to be the very best way to meet girls... With the ability to filter down what you want (and filter out what you don't want), the choices become much better aligned with what you're looking for, and eventually becomes like the proverbial fish in a bucket, or in my case, ducks in a row. The hardest part at this point is narrowing them back down to 'the one' :-S

 

The best way in my experience, is to try to not use the dating sites' algorithms, and to refine your own search criteria, as nefariously or wholesomely as you require!

 

Finally ended up with a lovely lady from Surin that grew up on the family farm, but moved to BKK to work as an accountant to take care of the family. We've been together for just about 14 years now, and it just keeps getting better. We've lived in Australia since 2016, and purchased a plot in Hua Hin and we'll move back in 5 years or so to wind down and enjoy retirement.

[thesetat]

  On 1/15/2025 at 12:23 PM, Airalee said:

Two of the biggest gold diggers I met were nurses.  One even had a friend warn me of said nurses intentions and informed me that she was just looking for a Farang because she had 2 million baht in debt from a failed business venture.

 

My experience has been that the women with the government, nursing and teaching jobs have easier access to loans and therefore are carrying the highest debt loads.

Expand  

Well... there is bad and good in everything... For the most part though, i found my wife this way. She will making more than me monthly in her government position. 

Online is not exactly the best way to meet the type of girl you seek. But it does give you the advantage of being able to talk and meet many girls which gives the opportunity that one of them may be the woman you are seeking for relationship. 

No matter what, it is a numbers game. Learn to play it. haha

[Airalee]

  On 1/15/2025 at 2:05 PM, thesetat said:

Well... there is bad and good in everything... For the most part though, i found my wife this way. She will making more than me monthly in her government position. 

Online is not exactly the best way to meet the type of girl you seek. But it does give you the advantage of being able to talk and meet many girls which gives the opportunity that one of them may be the woman you are seeking for relationship. 

No matter what, it is a numbers game. Learn to play it. haha

Expand  

Most of the women I have met have been IRL.  Some good….some heinous.  Likewise with those I have met online with the exception of tinder where they were all nixed quite expeditiously.

 

Like you say….it’s a number game.  To me, it makes sense to bark up all trees be they in real life and online.

 

Regardless, I’m pretty happy with the woman I have in my life now.

[Suitcase]

  On 1/13/2025 at 11:58 PM, thesetat said:

i read a lot of replies telling you about the different types of Thai woman. What i do not see are replies to how you can find a good woman to date. 

I would suggest first. You do not be shy to approach any woman you seem to think looked at you with a smile or that you think is in your standard. Don't be shy to ask them "me fan my " ( do you have a boyfriend ) If they reply no, ask them to dinner or some other social outing. Do not be surprised if they want family or friends with you the first time as well. A good lady may feel shy to date you alone the first time. 

Dating apps will work but, it takes time. You joined this group in May 2024. Have you been here a short time? To find a good woman can take years to find and there will be many failures due to what you seek in a woman. 

I find that women in medical or government or education and even in 7/11 are usually seeking a man who will make a good future hence they do not want you for the money but more for the security.

Most good women do not go out to drink at bars. They know the type of men who go there as well. 

I assume you are in Bangkok as per some of your OPs. Lots of available single women there willing to date a foreigner. but they are cautious and want to see what type of person you are as well. They want a good future with stability. They do not care if you are rich but all will know you have enough money to live here which is a lot more than they have. 

I even met some girls by asking them if they have a BF while travelling on the subway. Get their line and make sure you chat them daily to show interest. 

I want to say avoid bar girls and massage girls but that is simply my preference. There are too many that are not good women for a relationship. 

The online apps can work for you and you will find some good women on them. But it seems lately there are more (for hire) girls there only interested in your for an hour or so. 

Whatever route you take. You must not be shy to say what you seek and what you expect if you meet. 

Expand  

I quit asking girls if they have a boyfriend because Thai girls will only tell you what they want you to know

Most Thai girls have a boyfriend in the background somewhere or even a husband

I even heard of one girl who got married left the country and was sending money back to her boyfriend or husband here in Thailand

So you will never know everything about the lady

[rimmae2]

  On 1/14/2025 at 2:39 AM, MalcolmB said:

Agree 100%.

The ones that speak English well have likely been already soiled by a foreigner or ten.

if you want fresh you need to learn Thai.

Thai women love sex, don’t have the feminist hang ups of the western women.

 

Expand  

You clearly know little about females in Bangkok/Thailand. In professional positions such as accounting, legal, donors, banks, airlines, etc.....etc, as well as entrepeneurs there are thousands and thousands and more females who are fluent or almost in English. These women are attractive, smart, well travelled internationally, etc and a high % are unmarried and never have been. I know because since the mid 1990s until I retired from working in Thailand I employed many females, as well as working with females in sub-contrac tors, lawyers, etc. 

 

Go to eat in any office building at lunchtime in Bangkok and females outnumber males. Genuine and many attractive females and I guess a high % are unmarried, don't have a partner, maybe never have.

[GypsyT]

  On 1/18/2025 at 6:20 AM, rimmae2 said:

Go to eat in any office building at lunchtime in Bangkok and females outnumber males. Genuine and many attractive females and I guess a high % are unmarried, don't have a partner, maybe never have.

Expand  

My observation is they all are fat....

Fat for me is anyone over 45kg.

 

[rimmae2]

  On 1/18/2025 at 6:48 AM, GypsyT said:

My observation is they all are fat....

Fat for me is anyone over 45kg.

 

Expand  

You are frequenting the wrong places. Visit PARQ, Park Silom, Lake Ratchada and many more.

[GypsyT]

I went outside banks. Many were hitting me but as I said, no thin ones...

I was going to swap body fluids to get Thai account. No luck.

 

[edwardflory]

  On 1/18/2025 at 6:20 AM, rimmae2 said:

 thousands and more females who are fluent or almost in English.

Expand  

 

Many businesses, especially international ones,  give monthly BONUS pay based on their degree of English language skill.

Many females go to school so they get the monthly bonus

[Kevin_Beethoven]

This thread is thoroughly interesting!

 

With my trip to Thailand and surrounding coming up, I can't help but think of my old friends experience in Thailand:

Educated guy working for a major software company (where we met). Talented investor, and shrewd businessman. I always admired him.

 

I hadn't heard from him in several years until a late-night phone call. He was almost crying. Apparently he was making trips out to Thailand for "recreational purposes" to alleviate the stress of his work. Within a few months he had married a Thai lady, brought her back to the US and then found out she was shagging a guy at the local college she started attending. She later asked for a divorce.

 

Of course, you guys have probably heard this story over and over again. But it really shocked me at how it happened to someone I thought was so smart!
 

[GypsyT]

I've spent about a mil THB during last 6 years.

Best bang-for-buck ever!

Sure, being a sucker hurts a little but I get over it fast and ask for more...

Now I'm expanding to Phils and soon Hong Kong too. Vietnam already is receiving my dough.