Are you "all in" in your relationship?

[sidjameson]

Years ago, neighbour in England was a guy in his 50's and married. Own house, business and savings. Wife got sick, he gave up work, employed carers and ended up selling business and house. When she died he was penniless, in rented and living just off the state pension.

 

He really was "till death do us part '

 

How much of your wealth would you spend on your wife?

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, sidjameson said:

How much of your wealth would you spend on your wife?

10,000bht a month!

[worgeordie]

how much would you ? .... not a lot I  expect if you even have to ask , then what about

your children ,would you go all in for them if they needed long term care

 

regards worgeordie

[1FinickyOne]

Wealth is only part of the deal... how about time and effort? If you are willing to stop everything and be there for her every minute - that is more important than the cost.. right - 

[OneMoreFarang]

There is no easy answer to this.

Another situation would be that I get sick, and my gf takes care of me. How much of my own money would I spent to live a little longer, and how much money would I leave her?

I.e. would I spend 10,000 USD to live a month longer? And another 10k for another month?

I think it all depends on the circumstances. Is there still fun in my life? Is there hope of recovery?

 

I guess at some stage I wound think there is no point for living a little longer with lots of pain.

But then, I never was in that situation, so I don't know.

 

[beautifulthailand99]

I'm all in 21 years married no children and I've never loved my wife more. Sickening isn't it. It's the biggest choice of your life if you seek happiness - my first one was my worst choice and I've airbrushed her out of my past.

[KhunLA]

If you're not all in, then you really aren't in a loving relationship. 

 

Not sure what you would call it, or how people label their 'relationship' ...

... partners till needed

... business relationship / employment

 

They're the only 2 non offensive ways I can express my thoughts.  No need to wonder what is wrong in this world.   Why I enjoy being anti social.

 

Hope there's a few parents out there (if alive) that would disown their children if hearing or reading some of the things I read.   Or not, and that could be the problem also.

[bkk6060]

Too many guys let their wife handle the finances.  Very weak, lazy, and stupid approach a man in my opinion should know what is going on.

I would always keep a stash of money out of site and knowledge of a wife. An emergency fund so to speak just incase. Never ever touch it until "you need it for you".

[The Fugitive]

Thai Mrs keeps reminding me that my house in UK is her inheritance. She knows if I don't make a will it will go to HM Government. Ideally, she wants me to sell it now. However, I view it as somewhere I can return to if we split up. Also, it would provide me with free accommodation if I ever needed to return to the UK for treatment under the NHS.

[BangkokReady]

1 hour ago, KhunLA said:

If you're not all in, then you really aren't in a loving relationship.

 

I don't believe that people who hold back or who plan their life in a "they'll probably leave me so I need to be prepared for that" way end up in happy relationships.

[Doctor Tom]

My view: you arrive to 'life' alone and you leave it alone, plan accordingly. 

I met and married the love of my life and my best friend  at age 21 and lost her to life and cancer some years later.  I will never be as emotionally vulnerable to another person, ever again.  

[Hummin]

3 hours ago, sidjameson said:

Years ago, neighbour in England was a guy in his 50's and married. Own house, business and savings. Wife got sick, he gave up work, employed carers and ended up selling business and house. When she died he was penniless, in rented and living just off the state pension.

 

He really was "till death do us part '

 

How much of your wealth would you spend on your wife?

God sake we are married, it i me and her, just as it should be. Not about how much I would spend on my wife.

 

If you asking if I buy the newest phone model, high cost brand, new car and jewelry, no, I do not spend anything fancy, just normal gifts for special occasions 

[BangkokReady]

3 hours ago, sidjameson said:

Years ago, neighbour in England was a guy in his 50's and married. Own house, business and savings. Wife got sick, he gave up work, employed carers and ended up selling business and house. When she died he was penniless, in rented and living just off the state pension.

 

Why did he have to sell everything?  You don't pay for medical care in England.  You have to pay for carers, but he gave up work?  How did he end up spending the value of a house, a business, and life savings?  And what was he doing while the carers he paid for were caring for his wife?

 

Was his wife sick for many years and he just sat around watching the carers look after her?

 

A lot of holes in this story...

 

[Kinnock]

We're both 'all-in' .... she is totally focussed on looking after me, and has been for over 10 years, I reciprocate and look after her.

 

I also have family responsibilities in my home country, and she accepts that too.  But we also have health insurance to try and avoid financial issues.

[billd766]

For me, I would spend everything I have on my Thai wife. She is worth far more than I could ever give her.

 

She knows to the nearest 100 baht how much money we have simply because I tell her, and she adjusts her spending to fit what we have.

 

Where I come from it is called trust.

 

I have known her since 1993, we have been married since 2000, and we have a 20 year old Thai son going to University in Chiang Rai.

[still kicking]

7 minutes ago, billd766 said:

For me, I would spend everything I have on my Thai wife. She is worth far more than I could ever give her.

 

She knows to the nearest 100 baht how much money we have simply because I tell her, and she adjusts her spending to fit what we have.

 

Where I come from it is called trust.

 

I have known her since 1993, we have been married since 2000, and we have a 20 year old Thai son going to University in Chiang Rai.

Same here Have been married since 2002 don't have any kids but supported my Thai nephew who became a surgeon (keyhole surgeon) working in BKK after 8 years in Australia.  

[still kicking]

What is so funny someone posts a laugh emoji is it illegal to post the truth now? Try the jokes section.

[rattlesnake]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

 

Why did he have to sell everything?  You don't pay for medical care in England.  You have to pay for carers, but he gave up work?  How did he end up spending the value of a house, a business, and life savings?  And what was he doing while the carers he paid for were caring for his wife?

 

Was his wife sick for many years and he just sat around watching the carers look after her?

 

A lot of holes in this story...

 

You certainly pay for it in France, the national security system will pay 70% and the remaining 30% is for you to pay if you don't have additional insurance. And spend a year out of the country without paying tax and you are not covered anymore. I'm no expert regarding the UK, but I know it is less generous than France.

Lots of people misunderstand the way "nanny States" work, yes they will treat you first and not let you die like in Thailand, but ultimately you are footing the bill.

[Kinnock]

6 minutes ago, still kicking said:

What is so funny someone posts a laugh emoji is it illegal to post the truth now? Try the jokes section.

There's a few total losers on this forum who can't comprehend successful relationships or real achievements.

[proton]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

10,000bht a month!

 

Thats about all any of them are worth, why spoil them, they only waste it. Love and romance? give me a break. After 20 years I don't want to be alone when old and she does want to be penniless. 

[proton]

15 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

There's a few total losers on this forum who can't comprehend successful relationships or real achievements.

 

some will believe anything of course 

[Hummin]

Just now, proton said:

 

some will believe anything of course 

the loosers you mean? 😄

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, proton said:

 

Thats about all any of them are worth, why spoil them, they only waste it. Love and romance? give me a break. After 20 years I don't want to be alone when old and she does want to be penniless. 

Thats great attitude, Im sure you are happy with your 10k bride

[Tropicalevo]

3 hours ago, The Fugitive said:

Also, it would provide me with free accommodation if I ever needed to return to the UK for treatment under the NHS.

Depending on how long you have lived overseas, you may no longer receive free NHS treatment.

I was refused the last time that I was back in the UK.

[Tropicalevo]

2 hours ago, Doctor Tom said:

My view: you arrive to 'life' alone and you leave it alone, plan accordingly. 

I met and married the love of my life and my best friend  at age 21 and lost her to life and cancer some years later.  I will never be as emotionally vulnerable to another person, ever again.  

I pray that you will get over the loss.

There is always hope.

Mind you, I lost the love of my life and best friend for 35 years 8 years ago.

I am just not interested in finding someone that good again.

[chickenslegs]

5 hours ago, sidjameson said:

Years ago, neighbour in England was a guy in his 50's and married. Own house, business and savings. Wife got sick, he gave up work, employed carers and ended up selling business and house. When she died he was penniless, in rented and living just off the state pension.

 

He really was "till death do us part '

 

How much of your wealth would you spend on your wife?

It's really hard to believe that someone in England could end up (literally) penniless due to their partner's ill health. The NHS is free, and there are numerous state benefits available to help with palliative/hospice care.

 

Of course, some of those benefits are means tested.

Quote

How much of your wealth would you spend on your wife?

All of it.

[beautifulthailand99]

4 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

 

I don't believe that people who hold back or who plan their life in a "they'll probably leave me so I need to be prepared for that" way end up in happy relationships.

The most memorable thing my wife said to me early on in our relationship when it was more transactional on my part  than emotional - was "open your heart". At the time I didn't know what that meant. I was a lost soul way back when thank god she found me and didn't let go. She literally saved my life. My biggest legacy that I hope to leave is her to be looked after and cared for when I'm gone and selfishly I hope I go first, I couldn't stand the pain of losing her - she is my best friend bar none. Still doesn't mean I have

[GinBoy2]

Hmmm interesting question to ask.

 

Unless you are in a 'transactional' relationship I think most couples would say, whatever it takes.

 

Me and MrsG are similar ages, 50/60's so who knows what happens in the future, health risks increase exponentially as we get into middle and old age, unfortunately to say

 

So in our blended family, Thai son, American daughters would sure as sh**t hold both our feet to the fire to take care of each other if, and we wouldn't, step up to care for one another.

 

The kids are all in their 20/30's brother and sisters, aunts and uncle to the grandkids, so we're a pretty tight family. So the idea of any of us abandoning anyone is unthinkable, so I guess we are 'all in'

 

Now if you're shacked up with a bar girl, she'll probably dump you after a bad cold, or an ATM 'insufficient funds'

[BangkokReady]

8 hours ago, Kinnock said:

We're both 'all-in' .... she is totally focussed on looking after me, and has been for over 10 years, I reciprocate and look after her.

 

That's nice to hear.  So many relationships back home seem to be the man is focussed on looking after the woman, while the woman is focussed on looking after herself (or even making the man miserable).

[save the frogs]

13 hours ago, sidjameson said:

Years ago, neighbour in England was a guy in his 50's and married. Own house, business and savings. Wife got sick, he gave up work, employed carers and ended up selling business and house. When she died he was penniless, in rented and living just off the state pension.

 

He really was "till death do us part '

 

How much of your wealth would you spend on your wife?

 

No health insurance?

Lots of people stick with their partner until their dying breath, but most people don't bankrupt themselves in the process.