How important is it to  learn Thai to build trust and and deeper connections with a Thai lady?

Learning Thai for me seems to be at a standstill mostly because we always ( and I mean always ) speak English. 

Also, is it really necessary to attend a Thai language school, and have you had any negative thoughts about joining one.

If you intend to make Thailand you're home, it's impolite and inexcusable not to learn the language.

I say it's impolite and inexcusable not to learn Thai if you intend to make Thailand your home.

 

Not simply to make deeper connections with a Thai lady, it's important for all sections of Thai society.

 

Once a Thai person ascertains you don't speak Thai, most likely the next question they will ask you is how long you have lived here.  If you haven't just arrived, you should feel deeply ashamed when you answer that with anything over a year here.

 

Look at it this way, assuming you live in an English-speaking country, how do you feel about Mexicans who don't bother learning English or Indian's/Pakistani's who don't learn English?  Enclaves in your country where they all stay together, speak their languages and don't integrate with local society? Frankly, it's appalling. and incredibly rude & selfish.

 

In my first 3 months here, I went to AUA language school and enrolled in Thai language courses, and you should do something similar if you don't speak Thai and want to make this your home and don't want to be considered Kee Nok.

4 hours ago, camper star said:

How important is it to  learn Thai to build trust and and deeper connections with a Thai lady?

Learning Thai for me seems to be at a standstill mostly because we always ( and I mean always ) speak English. 

Also, is it really necessary to attend a Thai language school, and have you had any negative thoughts about joining one.

 

Personally, I never had a motivation to study Thai except as a practical matter because I always intended to make my home here.  If it takes relationship building to motivate you, that's fine.  There are plenty of other benefits that being able to speak and function without a wife/gf/partner along provide, gives you independence.

If you feel like you're stuck and not progressing, then some amount of proper instruction is probably the only way forward.  There are plenty of schools around.  Consider it a long term project.  Learning to read and write is a giant leap forward as the system is mostly phonetic, allows you to get correct tones etc.

When I did my studies long ago they still had the government P6 exam, a 6th grade primary education exam.  It was discontinued many years ago though and not sure it has any official replacement.  Passing that exam was my personal goal.

 

Assuming you have the time, language study is well worth the effort. 
 

2 hours ago, JBChiangRai said:

If you intend to make Thailand you're home, it's impolite and inexcusable not to learn the language.

 

I disagree. 

 

I am a non immigrant farang. That's it and that's all most of us will ever be.

 

And, let's be honest, even if you are one of the few who get citizenship, you are still a farang.

 

Even mixed race kids here are treated a little differently in most parts of Thailand and by most Thai people (with a few exceptions). They will always be "luek krung" 

 

I don't think manners should come into it. Maybe the locals can mind their manners.

As an alien (with absolutely no rights in Thailand)  my wallet does the communicating.

On 11/5/2025 at 8:56 AM, JBChiangRai said:

I say it's impolite and inexcusable not to learn Thai if you intend to make Thailand your home.

Politeness aside, it just makes life easier if you can speak at least some Thai. You don't need to spend hours  studying.  You can learn a  lot just by studying 20 minutes a day. If you do it consistently.

On 11/5/2025 at 8:00 AM, JBChiangRai said:

If you intend to make Thailand you're home, it's impolite and inexcusable not to learn the language.

 

I've learnt it.. rarely speak it.

 

99% of locals I interact with speak english.

 

Is amusing they forget I understand what they are saying  when talking amongst themselves.

99% of the locals I encounter daily speak Isaan!  Luckily they also speak central Thai.

On 11/5/2025 at 5:39 AM, camper star said:

How important is it to  learn Thai to build trust and and deeper connections with a Thai lady?

Learning Thai for me seems to be at a standstill mostly because we always ( and I mean always ) speak English. 

Also, is it really necessary to attend a Thai language school, and have you had any negative thoughts about joining one.

Communication is essential no matter what language you use

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Communication is essential no matter what language you use

Many get by on the universal language of love.

 

And google translate!

19 minutes ago, udontomi said:

99% of the locals I encounter daily speak Isaan!  Luckily they also speak central Thai.

Isaan is a region. Within that region there are more than five dialects spoke. Which one(s) yo you encounter?

15 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

Many get by on the universal language of love.

 

And google translate!

That comes with some challenges after awhile. 

Good to learn and know but not a big deal if you don't. I pick up some along the way and sometime casual encounter remark that my thai is "khaeng" but I know they are being polite. Most time I can only understand 10% of what they said.  Why everything has to be either good or bad? If you can speak well good for you, no need to call other people impolite for not speaking. Why everything topic here has to be " I am superior because I do this and know this etc"  whether its language, vaccine, mask, prices etc. 

Not sure about trust. My girlfriend speaks very little English, we speak Thai 75% of the time, the other 25% with the help of Mr. Google. Funny thing happened yesterday with me not realising, a foreigner asked me if the songthaew was going to the beach and I replied in thai 😂😂

I let the hands do the talking.

1 minute ago, Cameroni said:

I let the hands do the talking.

 

 

That must be very rewarding...

Just now, hotandsticky said:

 

 

That must be very rewarding...

 

When she says "My hands cold" and puts her hand in mine, there's no need for words.

Obviously it is an advantage to speak Thai, but it is not essential if you are retired, just want to live here as a non-citizen, and your occupation/interests do not require sophisticated interactions with the Thai buearacracy/society.

 

I think your attitude is probably more important: smiling, friendly, polite and respectful. 

 

I don't speak much Thai, but can navigate day to day life easy enough with a smile.

Not much - but it pays off a little to learn some basic phrases.

If she is keen, she will learn English, or she already knows English. 

On 11/5/2025 at 8:56 AM, JBChiangRai said:

I say it's impolite and inexcusable not to learn Thai if you intend to make Thailand your home.

Not simply to make deeper connections with a Thai lady, it's important for all sections of Thai society.

Once a Thai person ascertains you don't speak Thai, most likely the next question they will ask you is how long you have lived here.  If you haven't just arrived, you should feel deeply ashamed when you answer that with anything over a year here.

Look at it this way, assuming you live in an English-speaking country, how do you feel about Mexicans who don't bother learning English or Indian's/Pakistani's who don't learn English?  Enclaves in your country where they all stay together, speak their languages and don't integrate with local society? Frankly, it's appalling. and incredibly rude & selfish.

In my first 3 months here, I went to AUA language school and enrolled in Thai language courses, and you should do something similar if you don't speak Thai and want to make this your home and don't want to be considered Kee Nok.

What a load of khrapp - totally bad advice and best not to listen @camper star

 

Firstly JB, do you realise that the Mexican/Pakistani you mentioned has moved legally to live and work in that country permanently?  You cannot move to Thailand permanently - you can only arrive on a temp Visa.  You can only become a Thai Citizen/Resident which they make extremely hard, very long, and very expensive.  For 99% of Expats living in Thailand, we have no legal rights of abode, and the first unlucky/bad interaction with the Law could mean instant deportation - we are long term Tourists - nothing more.  We have to report to Police every 90 days FGS. 

 

If you are living in a Thai Village, or if you are working full-time in Thailand, then it is a good idea to learn some Thai for obvious reasons.  But it is not necessary to speak Thai to interact with many Thais in most parts of Thailand - remote Thai villages and rural Provinces aside - but even then having a Thai GF/Wife is all you need. English is the official second language of Thailand - check out their IDs and Licences and Passports - they are in Thai and English. 

6 minutes ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

What a load of khrapp - totally bad advice and best not to listen @camper star

 

Firstly JB, do you realise that the Mexican/Pakistani you mentioned has moved legally to live and work in that country permanently?  You cannot move to Thailand permanently - you can only arrive on a temp Visa.  You can only become a Thai Citizen/Resident which they make extremely hard, very long, and very expensive.  For 99% of Expats living in Thailand, we have no legal rights of abode, and the first unlucky/bad interaction with the Law could mean instant deportation - we are long term Tourists - nothing more.  We have to report to Police every 90 days FGS. 

 

If you are living in a Thai Village, or if you are working full-time in Thailand, then it is a good idea to learn some Thai for obvious reasons.  But it is not necessary to speak Thai to interact with many Thais in most parts of Thailand - remote Thai villages and rural Provinces aside - but even then having a Thai GF/Wife is all you need. English is the official second language of Thailand - check out their IDs and Licences and Passports - they are in Thai and English. 

 

What I said stands for anyone who intends to make Thailand their home.

 

Visa status is irrelevant.

I don't speak Thai but probably should. However there are advantages to not being able to speak or understand.

Number 1 is that you do not have to listen to all of the family and village gossip.

Number 2 is when you have three or four drunk Thais that you have just met at a part trying to talk to you at the same time.

All i know is,, khwarm rak gin mai dai...🍤💔

On 11/5/2025 at 8:00 AM, JBChiangRai said:

If you intend to make Thailand you're home, it's impolite and inexcusable not to learn the language.

I am an alien in LOS, can be thrown out at any time, which I find impolite and inexcusable..🤔

 

I just did a visa extension, I was sent away because they didn't like my application photo, they said I must wear a shirt and tie, of course I had to obey.

Was sent across the road to a Kodak shop, told them shirt and tie, was told to sit down, I had no tie, he took the photo, when I got them, in the photos I had a jacket, shirt and tie on, all done via an app, now I thought that was funny..........🤭

On 11/4/2025 at 11:39 PM, camper star said:

How important is it to  learn Thai to build trust and and deeper connections with a Thai lady?

Learning Thai for me seems to be at a standstill mostly because we always ( and I mean always ) speak English. 

Also, is it really necessary to attend a Thai language school, and have you had any negative thoughts about joining one.

In my experience it is not essential to learn to speak Thai if your partner speaks good English. However, just understanding and speaking some – or little – Thai helps. It also depends of where you settle. In a major tourist area you can get around well with not much else but English language; while in a rural village, nobody else but your spouse might speak English.

35 minutes ago, transam said:

I am an alien in LOS, can be thrown out at any time, which I find impolite and inexcusable..🤔

I wondered if you were an alien.

You can always attend the online AN @Harrisfan language course. He often blesses us with his extensive knowledge of Thai. He even knows how to say hello and thank you. His expertise knows no bounds. I suggest you enroll. 

On 11/5/2025 at 11:00 AM, JBChiangRai said:

If you intend to make Thailand you're home, it's impolite and inexcusable not to learn the language.

90% of farangs barely speak it.

On 11/5/2025 at 8:39 AM, camper star said:

learn Thai to build trust and and deeper connections with a Thai lady?

Women are nitwits. Even if you spoke perfect Thai there is no deep connection. Just root them and enjoy your dinner.