Control Freak Farangs

[chiangmaikelly]

Of course not. I don't think you do. I think what you have posted is a subconscious effort to justify your own behavior which is far outside of the norm in Thailand.

Can you explain what 'own behaviour wich is far outside the norm in Thailand' refers to?

What percent of married men in Thailand have non Thai wives?

[GuestHouse]

If they meet a women who is forced by a financial imperative to be subservient to her new found Farang, then maybe they do not believe themselves misinformed.

It is your last sentence that is wrong. No they don't. It does not make any difference how poor. It does not make any difference if the person is poor and handicapped. It just does not happen with Thai women period.

Are you saying no Thai woman ever places herself in a position of subservience to a Farang husband/boyrfriend out of a financial imperative?

That no Thai woman ever has had to tollerate ill treatment because she has a financial imperative compelling her to do so?

What never, ever?.... Like Period! Never?

[GuestHouse]

What percent of married men in Thailand have non Thai wives?

I have absolutely no idea (nor I doubt do you) - but in the context of the thread it is an irrelavance.

[transam]

Hmmmmm, why is it at ANY Thai party l go to the ladies take care of their partner, top up ice, booze etc. Few times Thai blokes have told my mrs to take of my drink , my mrs has explicit instructions from me not to do it cos where l come from l take care of a lady. She has TOLD them that an Englishman is a gentleman that can take care of his own trivialities. They don't understand BUT they learn about me.

[GuestHouse]

Hmmmmm, why is it at ANY Thai party l go to the ladies take care of their partner, top up ice, booze etc. Few times Thai blokes have told my mrs to take of my drink , my mrs has explicit instructions from me not to do it cos where l come from l take care of a lady. She has TOLD them that an Englishman is a gentleman that can take care of his own trivialities. They don't understand BUT they learn about me.

I think this is an important point, Subserviance might not be common in reality, but it is commonly projected.

[chiangmaikelly]

What percent of married men in Thailand have non Thai wives?

I have absolutely no idea (nor I doubt do you) - but in the context of the thread it is an irrelavance.

Guest, you would know that Thai women are never ever subservient if you had a Thai wife.

[chiangmaikelly]

Hmmmmm, why is it at ANY Thai party l go to the ladies take care of their partner, top up ice, booze etc. Few times Thai blokes have told my mrs to take of my drink , my mrs has explicit instructions from me not to do it cos where l come from l take care of a lady. She has TOLD them that an Englishman is a gentleman that can take care of his own trivialities. They don't understand BUT they learn about me.

I think this is an important point, Subserviance might not be common in reality, but it is commonly projected.

Only in people with little (without a Thai wife and family) experience in Thailand.

[TommoPhysicist]

Hmmmmm, why is it at ANY Thai party l go to the ladies take care of their partner, top up ice, booze etc. Few times Thai blokes have told my mrs to take of my drink , my mrs has explicit instructions from me not to do it cos where l come from l take care of a lady. She has TOLD them that an Englishman is a gentleman that can take care of his own trivialities. They don't understand BUT they learn about me.

I was taught to open doors for women, does that make me subservient?

I see Thai female drink pouring as the cultural equivalent to British male door opening.

i.e. not an indication of subservience.

[GuestHouse]

Guest, you would know that Thai women are never ever subservient if you had a Thai wife.

I know nothing of the sort.

I do know however from personal observation that people who are subject to a financial imperative will subjegate themselves to treatment they mighht under any other circumstances not tollerate.

[chiangmaikelly]

Guest, you would know that Thai women are never ever subservient if you had a Thai wife.

I know nothing of the sort.

I do know however from personal observation that people who are subject to a financial imperative will subjegate themselves to treatment they mighht under any other circumstances not tollerate.

Guest, I don't think you have a Thai wife. If you did you would know that Thai women don't do that.

[transam]

Hmmmmm, why is it at ANY Thai party l go to the ladies take care of their partner, top up ice, booze etc. Few times Thai blokes have told my mrs to take of my drink , my mrs has explicit instructions from me not to do it cos where l come from l take care of a lady. She has TOLD them that an Englishman is a gentleman that can take care of his own trivialities. They don't understand BUT they learn about me.

I was taught to open doors for women, does that make me subservient?

I see Thai female drink pouring as the cultural equivalent to British male door opening.

i.e. not an indication of subservience.

Hmmmmmm, not sure l agree, a gentleman opens a door to show he is taking care of the lady so no effort is involved for her. Same as at dinner at a posh place or other, the lady NEVER touches a wine bottle, the waiter OR hubby does. OK, cultures are different but if my mrs has a farang husband THEN SHE is a farang wife and should act so. I do not piss at the garden wall but culturally it's OK, but not for this gent OR his wife, she would die on the spot if l did.

[GuestHouse]

Guest, you would know that Thai women are never ever subservient if you had a Thai wife.

I know nothing of the sort.

I do know however from personal observation that people who are subject to a financial imperative will subjegate themselves to treatment they mighht under any other circumstances not tollerate.

Guest, I don't think you have a Thai wife. If you did you would know that Thai women don't do that.

You should not extrapolate your own experience that your Thai wife would not behave in a certain way into a conviction that no Thai woman wiould behave that way.

[TommoPhysicist]

Hmmmmm, why is it at ANY Thai party l go to the ladies take care of their partner, top up ice, booze etc. Few times Thai blokes have told my mrs to take of my drink , my mrs has explicit instructions from me not to do it cos where l come from l take care of a lady. She has TOLD them that an Englishman is a gentleman that can take care of his own trivialities. They don't understand BUT they learn about me.

I was taught to open doors for women, does that make me subservient?

I see Thai female drink pouring as the cultural equivalent to British male door opening.

i.e. not an indication of subservience.

Hmmmmmm, not sure l agree, a gentleman opens a door to show he is taking care of the lady so no effort is involved for her. Same as at dinner at a posh place or other, the lady NEVER touches a wine bottle, the waiter OR hubby does. OK, cultures are different but if my mrs has a farang husband THEN SHE is a farang wife and should act so. I do not piss at the garden wall but culturally it's OK, but not for this gent OR his wife, she would die on the spot if l did.

Your expecting her (a Thai) to obey your (British) culture seems a bit 'control freakish' to me.

Not that I see anything in British culture to prevent a woman pouring a man's drinks, if she so wishes.

Quite the opposite, in the British tea pouring culture, "shall I be mother" was the norm.

Shall I be mother? meaning 'Shall I pour the tea?' It's used because pouring the tea has traditionally been seen as a mother's role. I suspect it's now heard less than it once was for various social rather than linguistic reasons. It's not slang and it's not facetious, but because of the nature of tea-drinking it's likely to be heard in informal situations.

[transam]

Hmmmmm, why is it at ANY Thai party l go to the ladies take care of their partner, top up ice, booze etc. Few times Thai blokes have told my mrs to take of my drink , my mrs has explicit instructions from me not to do it cos where l come from l take care of a lady. She has TOLD them that an Englishman is a gentleman that can take care of his own trivialities. They don't understand BUT they learn about me.

I was taught to open doors for women, does that make me subservient?

I see Thai female drink pouring as the cultural equivalent to British male door opening.

i.e. not an indication of subservience.

Hmmmmmm, not sure l agree, a gentleman opens a door to show he is taking care of the lady so no effort is involved for her. Same as at dinner at a posh place or other, the lady NEVER touches a wine bottle, the waiter OR hubby does. OK, cultures are different but if my mrs has a farang husband THEN SHE is a farang wife and should act so. I do not piss at the garden wall but culturally it's OK, but not for this gent OR his wife, she would die on the spot if l did.

Your expecting her (a Thai) to obey your (British) culture seems a bit 'control freakish' to me.

Not that I see anything in British culture to prevent a woman pouring a man's drinks, if she so wishes.

Quite the opposite, in the British tea pouring culture, "shall I be mother" was the norm.

Think you are wrong here. My mrs WANTS to learn how the English gentleman or lady (Me ) does stuff. She has the opinion that I/we are the epitome of a perfect culture regarding how stuff should be done. When l took her to UK l could not believe how she behaved at dinner etc. Perfect, she watched and learned with very little help from me. Folk thought she would not have a clue but she showed all she can do anything to adapt. I control know one, she wants to understand how, from her perspective, how to mix with any culture. 10 out of 10.

[chiangmaikelly]

Guest, you would know that Thai women are never ever subservient if you had a Thai wife.

I know nothing of the sort.

I do know however from personal observation that people who are subject to a financial imperative will subjegate themselves to treatment they mighht under any other circumstances not tollerate.

Guest, I don't think you have a Thai wife. If you did you would know that Thai women don't do that.

You should not extrapolate your own experience that your Thai wife would not behave in a certain way into a conviction that no Thai woman wiould behave that way.

I believe I have experienced a statistically valid sample of Thai women. And further I believe the great majority of men who are married to Thai women will agree with me.

[TommoPhysicist]

I believe I have experienced a statistically valid sample of Thai women. And further I believe the great majority of men who are married to Thai women will agree with me.

I have to agree with you (on this one).

[GuestHouse]

I believe I have experienced a statistically valid sample of Thai women. And further I believe the great majority of men who are married to Thai women will agree with me.

There was a time when the great majority of people believed the world to be flat.

The world was never flat, don't rely on the argumentum ad populum, it is a logical falacy.

[GuestHouse]

Adress the following:

Are you saying no Thai woman ever places herself in a position of subservience to a Farang husband/boyrfriend out of a financial imperative?

That no Thai woman ever has had to tollerate ill treatment because she has a financial imperative compelling her to do so?

What never, ever?.... Like Period! Never?

[Gary A]

A woman's duty to their man is their culture. What that means to my wife is that around her parents or other Thai people she fetches my drink or beer and makes sure I have plenty of the best food on my plate. She also wants my friends to think that she takes very good care of me. Another example is that she won't allow me to wear my clothes more than one day. She says she would be embarrassed if people think she isn't taking good care of her husband.

She would NOT react well if I tried to order her around and make demands. You should never think that when a woman serves and waits on her husband that she is subservient.

[chiangmaikelly]

Adress the following:

Are you saying no Thai woman ever places herself in a position of subservience to a Farang husband/boyrfriend out of a financial imperative?

That no Thai woman ever has had to tollerate ill treatment because she has a financial imperative compelling her to do so?

What never, ever?.... Like Period! Never?

If there is no underlying pattern in the whole population (the null hypothesis), what is the chance that we would see the data that we see in a sample of the population? If it less than 5 percent, then we suspect that there is something going on with the whole population. Such results are called statistically significant. If the chance of occurring randomly is not small, the possibility that the events occurred together just by luck is too high to dismiss, and we conclude nothing. Small is relative, but many scientific disciplines use 5 percent (.05) as the border between small and not small. The 5 percent line is arbitrary, but has become standard in the field of biomedical research; statistical significance is the golden measuring stick for evaluating data.

[transam]

A woman's duty to their man is their culture. What that means to my wife is that around her parents or other Thai people she fetches my drink or beer and makes sure I have plenty of the best food on my plate. She also wants my friends to think that she takes very good care of me. Another example is that she won't allow me to wear my clothes more than one day. She says she would be embarrassed if people think she isn't taking good care of her husband.

She would NOT react well if I tried to order her around and make demands. You should never think that when a woman serves and waits on her husband that she is subservient.

Trouble for me is, l don't like my mrs being a waiter, she explains to all that an English gentleman is different, like it or lump it. . I DO NOT want my mrs being a servant in company. Now our circle understands and respects MY culture.

[TommoPhysicist]

Trouble for me is, l don't like my mrs being a waiter, she explains to all that an English gentleman is different, like it or lump it. . I DO NOT want my mrs being a servant in company. Now our circle understands and respects MY culture.

Control freak alert!

[transam]

Trouble for me is, l don't like my mrs being a waiter, she explains to all that an English gentleman is different, like it or lump it. . I DO NOT want my mrs being a servant in company. Now our circle understands and respects MY culture.

Control freak alert!

Don't think you understand. But thats OK.

[GuestHouse]

If there is no underlying pattern in the whole population (the null hypothesis), what is the chance that we would see the data that we see in a sample of the population? If it less than 5 percent, then we suspect that there is something going on with the whole population. Such results are called statistically significant. If the chance of occurring randomly is not small, the possibility that the events occurred together just by luck is too high to dismiss, and we conclude nothing. Small is relative, but many scientific disciplines use 5 percent (.05) as the border between small and not small. The 5 percent line is arbitrary, but has become standard in the field of biomedical research; statistical significance is the golden measuring stick for evaluating data.

Thanks for the lesson in statistical analysis (a subject at the heart of much of the work I do).

You did not asnwer the question.

Nobody is saying that the abuse I and others report is predomenant or the norm. We simply say it does take place.

You do not answer the question I pose. How could you, since it needs only one Thai woman to subjegate herself to an abusive farang partner for your argement of 'Never' to be demonstrated as false.

[chiangmaikelly]

If there is no underlying pattern in the whole population (the null hypothesis), what is the chance that we would see the data that we see in a sample of the population? If it less than 5 percent, then we suspect that there is something going on with the whole population. Such results are called statistically significant. If the chance of occurring randomly is not small, the possibility that the events occurred together just by luck is too high to dismiss, and we conclude nothing. Small is relative, but many scientific disciplines use 5 percent (.05) as the border between small and not small. The 5 percent line is arbitrary, but has become standard in the field of biomedical research; statistical significance is the golden measuring stick for evaluating data.

Thanks for the lesson in statistical analysis (a subject at the heart of much of the work I do).

You did not asnwer the question.

Nobody is saying that the abuse I and others report is predomenant or the norm. We simply say it does take place.

You do not answer the question I pose. How could you, since it needs only one Thai woman to subjegate herself to an abusive farang partner for your argement of 'Never' to be demonstrated as false.

The number of Thai women who subjegate themselves to an abusive Farang partner is not statistically significant.

[GuestHouse]

The number of Thai women who subjegate themselves to an abusive Farang partner is not statistically significant.

But it is significant where abuse occurs.

You make the mistake many statisticians make, the numbers to which they refer are infact people.

[HardenedSoul]

And the consistent theme of many posters who don't have Thai wives, "I am better than you because this will never happen to me. The last sentence is from my reading of Thai Visa and not the above post although I think it applies.

Yeah nice dig but I don't think I suggested I am "better" than someone else because they I have never been abused by a wife or GF. Some men, whether by virtue of low self-esteem or an extremely passive nature, just give the impression that they will let their wives get away with highly-unreasonable or abusive behaviour. A woman who knows her initially minor misdemeanours will be met with little in the way of resistance can become emboldened and start taking a yard when the man's intention was only to give an inch. The longer it goes on, the harder it is to arrest.

I don't have a Thai wife or girlfriend but I do have what men of older generations may have once dubbed a "main squeeze". According to the Urban Dictionary this is: The person who you have your primary romantic/sexual relationship with, although you also see others casually. Although I've only been seeing her for just over two years, I have more than enough experience with women I attract - both here and at home - to be able to say that the nonsense some of TV's deal with or have dealt with will never happen to me.

[chiangmaikelly]

The number of Thai women who subjegate themselves to an abusive Farang partner is not statistically significant.

But it is significant where abuse occurs.

You make the mistake many statisticians make, the numbers to which they refer are infact people.

People worry about statistically significant numbers. The world revolves around statistically significant numbers. If you want me or anyone else to start to worry about possibilities that are not statistically significant I think you are reaching the bottom of the barrel for arguments to point out why smart (or nice or whatever your post of the day is) men don't marry Thai women.

[Scully]

Trouble for me is, l don't like my mrs being a waiter, she explains to all that an English gentleman is different, like it or lump it. . I DO NOT want my mrs being a servant in company. Now our circle understands and respects MY culture.

Control freak alert!

Doesn't sound like a control freak to me, it sounds like he has a clever wife who is using culture to her advantage.

Both happy.

[GuestHouse]

CMK if you wish to ignore an issue because you believe it to be statistically insignificant then up to you but I doibt that the victims of the abuse find any comfort in your assertion that they are suffering a behaviour which you claim is a statistical insignificance.

Meanwhile we should note that while you introduced a tutorial on statistical analysis into the discussion as a call to authority, you did not nor have not substantiated the statistical data you base your argument on.

You state a statisticsl insignificance without providing the data to support the claim.

Your call to statistics must therefore be seen for what it is, an unsubstantiated call to authority - a red herring.