Age gap in a relationship, how comfortable are you?

[Cypress Hill]

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OP, you mention in your opening piece that "Thai society has accepted a large age gap in a relationship between younger Thai woman and older foreign man."

 

What exactly do you mean by "accepted?"  Accepted as a normal sort of thing?  I don't think that's true.  I think Thai society--like pretty much most other societies in the world--may "condone" it, but not necessarily accept it as the norm.  I myself prefer to date women typically 20 years younger than myself.  But I can sense that this is not the cultural norm.   

 

Pehaps she should have written, certain segments or certain locations accept it as the norm.

 

From where I live in Bkk, I look at the Thais around me, various age groups, but the average is probably less than 5 years difference.

 

All the Thai/Thai weddings I have attended, the bride is usually about 26-28 and the husband about 28-30 years old.

 

When visiting other parts of Thailand almost the same demographics are experienced.

 

Look at your inlaws and their partners.

 

I know of no Thai women living with guys 25+ years older than them.

When talking to my Thai nieces and their friends the thought of marrying an older man repulses them.

 

If you speak Thai listen to some of the coments normal Thais make.

I was on Suk rd the other week, the comment made was, looking she is taking her father for a walk, or in Thai, pa khun por bai tiaw.

 

 

Thanks for breaking up the creep-fest, mate.

 

 

I don't much care how much these old men want to delude themselves, it is NOT normal for a pensioner to be married to and breeding with a woman 20-40 years his junior.

 

The fact that Asians respect those of advanced age doesn't translate into a blanket endorsement of unions that produce offspring between 60 year-old overweight train wrecks in 50-inch waist khakis and 20-something local girls.

 

Next time you see one such couple - perhaps in your local Big C/Tesco Lotus - it'd be worth looking at how other Thais regard them.

 

In their view, the woman has demeaned and lowered herself for money.

 

 

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The fact that Asians respect those of advanced age doesn't translate into a blanket endorsement of unions that produce offspring between 60 year-old overweight train wrecks in 50-inch waist khakis and 20-something local girls.

My waist is 33", I'm 6' tall nearly 60 and weigh 74Kg.
Can I play with a 20YO?

Demeaning?
Depends on skin color and relative social status, if she was dark and poor, while he was light and rich.
Many would consider him demeaning himself. Edited July 28, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[transam]

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OP, you mention in your opening piece that "Thai society has accepted a large age gap in a relationship between younger Thai woman and older foreign man."

 

What exactly do you mean by "accepted?"  Accepted as a normal sort of thing?  I don't think that's true.  I think Thai society--like pretty much most other societies in the world--may "condone" it, but not necessarily accept it as the norm.  I myself prefer to date women typically 20 years younger than myself.  But I can sense that this is not the cultural norm.   

 

Pehaps she should have written, certain segments or certain locations accept it as the norm.

 

From where I live in Bkk, I look at the Thais around me, various age groups, but the average is probably less than 5 years difference.

 

All the Thai/Thai weddings I have attended, the bride is usually about 26-28 and the husband about 28-30 years old.

 

When visiting other parts of Thailand almost the same demographics are experienced.

 

Look at your inlaws and their partners.

 

I know of no Thai women living with guys 25+ years older than them.

When talking to my Thai nieces and their friends the thought of marrying an older man repulses them.

 

If you speak Thai listen to some of the coments normal Thais make.

I was on Suk rd the other week, the comment made was, looking she is taking her father for a walk, or in Thai, pa khun por bai tiaw.

 

 

Thanks for breaking up the creep-fest, mate.

 

 

I don't much care how much these old men want to delude themselves, it is NOT normal for a pensioner to be married to and breeding with a woman 20-40 years his junior.

 

The fact that Asians respect those of advanced age doesn't translate into a blanket endorsement of unions that produce offspring between 60 year-old overweight train wrecks in 50-inch waist khakis and 20-something local girls.

 

Next time you see one such couple - perhaps in your local Big C/Tesco Lotus - it'd be worth looking at how other Thais regard them.

 

In their view, the woman has demeaned and lowered herself for money.

 

 

 

An ugly 15 year olds view. Come back here when you have seen a bit of your own life....
 

[Rumblecat]

Well, yeah, of course, that's pretty much always the case. Doesn't mean they're not happy- usually the older gentleman has reached a stage where he's happy to fool himself, and the younger girl will have someone of her own age on the side. Or there are exceptions of course. 

 

edit: that was in reply to Cypress Hill. 

 

Edited July 28, 2014 by Rumblecat

[pigeonjake]

 

The fact that Asians respect those of advanced age doesn't translate into a blanket endorsement of unions that produce offspring between 60 year-old overweight train wrecks in 50-inch waist khakis and 20-something local girls.

My waist is 33", I'm 6' tall nearly 60 and weigh 74Kg.
Can I play with a 20YO?

Demeaning?
Depends on skin color and relative social status, if she was dark and poor, while he was light and rich.
Many would consider him demeaning himself.

 

 

AOA looking ike that you can play with what you want,,,i dont have a problem,,lol

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I know of no Thai women living with guys 25+ years older than them.
When talking to my Thai nieces and their friends the thought of marrying an older man repulses them.

Most of my young nieces and their friends get excited at the thought of all the money they would get if they managed to bag a rich old guy.

When I asked a particular 18 YO why she wanted me to introduce her to one of my elderly friends, I actually asked her if she was repulsed by the thought of sex with an old guy. Her reply was, "If he can buy me a house and car, then put me through uni, babies and sex aren't a problem". And she wasn't even from a poor family.

[David48]

Somsrisonphimai ... I like the stuff you write, but I always have this nagging doubt.

You are Thai correct?

Living in Thailand?

A Thai Woman?



It's just that you always talk about Thailand in the 3^rd person.

"it seemed the Thai society has accepted" ... wouldn't you naturally write along the lines of the first person in the style of 'our society'.


That said ... MissFarmGirl seems to be fine with me.

Our age differerence is known to our friends.

For those who are curious as to that number ... buy me a beer and heck, I'll throw in the winning Lotto numbers for next week ...

 

Should I post a video of myself speak Thai, so it would be the end of your suspicious about my nationality? And what are you proposed me using the pronoun?

she knows what a pronoun is...crikey....I dun even know that.

as for age....I could not look at myself in the mirror if she was less than half my age.

I have 2 couple friends, all very normal run of the mill social circles...no deviant behaviour.....first one is 40/75...second one is 25/54....... one of them is older than her dad.

 

 

Shhhhhhhh ... I will do that in a few months time ... OP = Is your gf's / wife's Father older then you?

 

No-one steal that ... OK ...

 

 

OH ... I am much younger then both MissFarmGirl's Parents ... many, many months ... 
 

[Costas2008]

 

I have to admit, that I feel very uncomfortable being married to a my wife that she is 26 years younger than me.

It is a mistake I did in the past, but I have to live with it.

I should have chosen a young girl with a difference of at least 40 years between us.

Anyway, I have to live and regret my mistake.

 

 

 

So i hope you are not 50 then, the knock on the door by the junta may come soon

 

50??

You are insulting me.

My Birthday on May.......closed 40 going to 39...........

[David48]

I'm on my third attempt. My first wife, American, was older than me.  The marriage lasted 10 years.  The second, also American, was quite a bit younger than me.  The marriage lasted 13 years.  My current wife, Thai, split the difference between the other two.  We've been together almost six years now and counting.

 

I've only heard comments concerning age differences with my second wife.  People would come to the door, see her, and ask if her father was home.  

 

I really appreciate the honesty when the Mods front up and share ...  bonus points bonobo ... 
.

[brewsterbudgen]

Well, yeah, of course, that's pretty much always the case. Doesn't mean they're not happy- usually the older gentleman has reached a stage where he's happy to fool himself, and the younger girl will have someone of her own age on the side. Or there are exceptions of course. 
 
edit: that was in reply to Cypress Hill. 

 

Sometimes the older guy has someone on the side too. But usually someone a little younger.

Sent from my GT-S7270L using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[David48]

 

 

I have to admit, that I feel very uncomfortable being married to a my wife that she is 26 years younger than me.

It is a mistake I did in the past, but I have to live with it.

I should have chosen a young girl with a difference of at least 40 years between us.

Anyway, I have to live and regret my mistake.

 

 

So i hope you are not 50 then, the knock on the door by the junta may come soon

 

 

50??

You are insulting me.

My Birthday on May.......closed 40 going to 39...........

 

 

A Taurus?

 

You 'ole Bull you ... what day?
 

[lostmebike]

 

To the Op.. What is the acceptable age difference between a married Thai man and his Mia noi?

Sent from my LG-P970 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

 

Do Thai woman have the male version of a 'Mia Noi'?

 

What would his name be?
 

 

 

Small husband! 555

 

So it's only sad, old western gits with younger ladies? I think not OP.

 

Thai news, gossip shows/magazines are full of stories of young, hot celebs that marry wrinkly ol' bastards!

 

And as some ol' gits here will tell you, it's all about the love, nothing at all to do with the money   

[Cypress Hill]

 

 

Let's not beat around the bush.  It's lust that attracts older guys to a 20 year old rather than somebody their own age.  After all, why would you settle for stretchmarks and menopause when you could have pert and trim and barely-used.

Also, good luck trying to find that 20 year old Thai girl without stretch marks.

 

 
When you belch up crap like that, I have to ask if you live in some kind of parallel universe. Honestly, you're the original boy in a bubble.
 

An ugly 15 year olds view. Come back here when you have seen a bit of your own life....

Here we go. The old "you've gotta have one foot in the grave to know what life's about" BS.

 

I'm mid 40s, pal and I know more than enough about "life" to be able to offer what I consider to be a valid opinion. You may not agree with it but I'm used to believing what I see with my own eyes so when I see Thais sniggering and bitching about a young Thai woman dragging a 60 yr old pensioner's kids around a Big C, I know it's because there's a stigma attached to it.

The fact that you've had a couple of failed marriages doesn't make your experiences any more valid than mine; particularly when it appears that you've learned sweet FA from them.
 

[abhaya]

I recall watching an interview with the late great black American comic Red Fox being asked where he found his wife (a Korean girl who was 40 years his junior) he quipped " I just opened up my wallet and there she was". Most of these May December relationships I have seen in Thailand are co dependencies. The women need the financial security and the guys need someone to take care of them. Sometimes this arrangement seems more stable than a lot of others, at least everyone knows what they want.

 

[Kudel]

I have no problem with age gaps,but being a member of a Thailand forum from my home country we see more and schengen visa applications being turned down because of this.

[bkkjames]

 

 

Let's not beat around the bush.  It's lust that attracts older guys to a 20 year old rather than somebody their own age.  After all, why would you settle for stretchmarks and menopause when you could have pert and trim and barely-used.

Also, good luck trying to find that 20 year old Thai girl without stretch marks.

 

 
When you belch up crap like that, I have to ask if you live in some kind of parallel universe. Honestly, you're the original boy in a bubble.
 

An ugly 15 year olds view. Come back here when you have seen a bit of your own life....

Here we go. The old "you've gotta have one foot in the grave to know what life's about" BS.

 

I'm mid 40s, pal and I know more than enough about "life" to be able to offer what I consider to be a valid opinion. You may not agree with it but I'm used to believing what I see with my own eyes so when I see Thais sniggering and bitching about a young Thai woman dragging a 60 yr old pensioner's kids around a Big C, I know it's because there's a stigma attached to it.

The fact that you've had a couple of failed marriages doesn't make your experiences any more valid than mine; particularly when it appears that you've learned sweet FA from them.
 

 

You should spend less time hanging around Big C's mate. :)

[bunnydrops]

I have mentioned this before on this forum. When I was 27 my mother remarried. My father died many years ago. The man she married was my age so there was a 21 year difference between them. He was fairly good looking, had a good job. My mother had little in the way of money but she liked to have fun and kept herself in good shape. I was still sure it would not last but they were still together when she died at 74.

 

In the States I mostly did date woman much younger than myself. I had always looked much younger than my years so fitting in public was never an issue. But God, it was always Drama. My Thai wife is 20 years younger but I have to say she is far more stable and down to earth than  the women back home. I feel very fortunate.

[Costas2008]

 

 

 

I have to admit, that I feel very uncomfortable being married to a my wife that she is 26 years younger than me.

It is a mistake I did in the past, but I have to live with it.

I should have chosen a young girl with a difference of at least 40 years between us.

Anyway, I have to live and regret my mistake.

 

 

So i hope you are not 50 then, the knock on the door by the junta may come soon

 

 

50??

You are insulting me.

My Birthday on May.......closed 40 going to 39...........

 

 

A Taurus?

 

You 'ole Bull you ... what day?
 

 

15th.

Nobody is looking at my profile.

Nobody wished me happy Birthday.

That number on my profile hasn't moved for the past 4 years.

Should I sulk again?

 

Edit.....PS. Yeh, forgot to tell you......got a Birthday present on the 15th........suspended for 7 days, from posting.........

Edited July 28, 2014 by Costas2008

[Colabamumbai]

Young Thai women love only the money, not the man. It appears  even so with the older Thai women. I am talking from experience. (not all).

[cms22]

45 year gap between me and my girlfriend, and I'm loving every minute. especially when it annoys guys half my age checking out my girl!

[bkkjames]

 

15th.

 

 

A Taurus?

 

You 'ole Bull you ... what day?
 

 

Nobody is looking at my profile.

Nobody wished me happy Birthday.

That number on my profile hasn't moved for the past 4 years.

Should I sulk again?

 

May 15 is a very good birthday mate - you are in good company.

[transam]

 

 

Let's not beat around the bush.  It's lust that attracts older guys to a 20 year old rather than somebody their own age.  After all, why would you settle for stretchmarks and menopause when you could have pert and trim and barely-used.

Also, good luck trying to find that 20 year old Thai girl without stretch marks.

 

 
When you belch up crap like that, I have to ask if you live in some kind of parallel universe. Honestly, you're the original boy in a bubble.
 

An ugly 15 year olds view. Come back here when you have seen a bit of your own life....

Here we go. The old "you've gotta have one foot in the grave to know what life's about" BS.

 

I'm mid 40s, pal and I know more than enough about "life" to be able to offer what I consider to be a valid opinion. You may not agree with it but I'm used to believing what I see with my own eyes so when I see Thais sniggering and bitching about a young Thai woman dragging a 60 yr old pensioner's kids around a Big C, I know it's because there's a stigma attached to it.

The fact that you've had a couple of failed marriages doesn't make your experiences any more valid than mine; particularly when it appears that you've learned sweet FA from them.
 

 

You reckon, hmmmmmmmmmm, mid forties. Wish I was back there without your 15 year old brain matter. But hey, yes we are all different in thought but unfortunately you always seem to slag off older guys and YOU have not been there yet. Think you should back off a bit and listen to some music, music really does sort gray cells out, I say this cos you sound like an angry old man, and at 40 odd that is not a good sign. I suggest a musical interlude for you.......

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=bocDpFVhyDw&list=RDvUSzL2leaFM
 

[crazykopite]

I only read the first two lines and my instant response is that hit song by Abba " Money Money Money " I do not think there is a song about ATMs I also see a lot of T-Shirts " No Money No Honey " never a true word was spoken !!

[Jingthing]

Don't be living your life based on what "church ladies" might think of you ...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8U1Jv5JoxaM

[crazykopite]

[quote name="transam" post="8162721" timestamp="1406536671"]

[quote name="Cypress Hill" post="8162635" timestamp="1406535729"]

 [quote name="AnotherOneAmerican" post="8162426" timestamp="1406532749"]
 [quote name="Lockind" post="8162412" timestamp="1406532512"]
Let's not beat around the bush.  It's lust that attracts older guys to a 20 year old rather than somebody their own age.  After all, why would you settle for stretchmarks and menopause when you could have pert and trim and barely-used.[/quote]
Also, good luck trying to find that 20 year old Thai girl without stretch marks.
 [/quote]
 

When you belch up crap like that, I have to ask if you live in some kind of parallel universe. Honestly, you're the original boy in a bubble.
 

An ugly 15 year olds view. Come back here when you have seen a bit of your own life....

Here we go. The old "you've gotta have one foot in the grave to know what life's about" BS.
 
I'm mid 40s, pal and I know more than enough about "life" to be able to offer what I consider to be a valid opinion. You may not agree with it but I'm used to believing what I see with my own eyes so when I see Thais sniggering and bitching about a young Thai woman dragging a 60 yr old pensioner's kids around a Big C, I know it's because there's a stigma attached to it.

The fact that you've had a couple of failed marriages doesn't make your experiences any more valid than mine; particularly when it appears that you've learned sweet FA from them.
 [/quote]
 
You reckon, hmmmmmmmmmm, mid forties. Wish I was back there without your 15 year old brain matter. But hey, yes we are all different in thought but unfortunately you always seem to slag off older guys and YOU have not been there yet. Think you should back off a bit and listen to some music, music really does sort gray cells out, I say this cos you sound like an angry old man, and at 40 odd that is not a good sign. I suggest a musical interlude for you.......
 

 [/quote]

Great vid have seen Eric many times when I lived in the UK awesome guy !!

[rgs2001uk]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

 

 

OP, you mention in your opening piece that "Thai society has accepted a large age gap in a relationship between younger Thai woman and older foreign man."

 

What exactly do you mean by "accepted?"  Accepted as a normal sort of thing?  I don't think that's true.  I think Thai society--like pretty much most other societies in the world--may "condone" it, but not necessarily accept it as the norm.  I myself prefer to date women typically 20 years younger than myself.  But I can sense that this is not the cultural norm.   

 

Pehaps she should have written, certain segments or certain locations accept it as the norm.

 

From where I live in Bkk, I look at the Thais around me, various age groups, but the average is probably less than 5 years difference.

 

All the Thai/Thai weddings I have attended, the bride is usually about 26-28 and the husband about 28-30 years old.

 

When visiting other parts of Thailand almost the same demographics are experienced.

 

Look at your inlaws and their partners.

 

I know of no Thai women living with guys 25+ years older than them.

When talking to my Thai nieces and their friends the thought of marrying an older man repulses them.

 

If you speak Thai listen to some of the coments normal Thais make.

I was on Suk rd the other week, the comment made was, looking she is taking her father for a walk, or in Thai, pa khun por bai tiaw.

 

 

Thanks for breaking up the creep-fest, mate.

 

 

I don't much care how much these old men want to delude themselves, it is NOT normal for a pensioner to be married to and breeding with a woman 20-40 years his junior.

 

The fact that Asians respect those of advanced age doesn't translate into a blanket endorsement of unions that produce offspring between 60 year-old overweight train wrecks in 50-inch waist khakis and 20-something local girls.

 

Next time you see one such couple - perhaps in your local Big C/Tesco Lotus - it'd be worth looking at how other Thais regard them.

 

In their view, the woman has demeaned and lowered herself for money.

 

 

 

I have written before about what I have observed in Tesco/Lotus or Big C On Nut.

 

Why do we never see these love birds pushing a trolley around and stacking up on frozen peas or the like.

 

They are usually observed at either,

 

a, the atm

b, the gold shop

c, the electronics section as the old goat is pulling out the readies to buy his teerak the latest i phone.

d, the liquor section, as the old goat stocks up on Chang and Sam Song.

 

Yes the smirks and remarks from other Thais is amusing, they know exactly whats taking place.

My favourite is watching these old goats trying to curry favour and ingratiate themselves with the locals, the dumb sap doesnt even realise he is buying drinks for the girls boyfriend and his buddies.

 

Much better than watching the mind numbing lakorn on the telly, soi theatre at its finest.
 

[benalibina]

I only read the first two lines and my instant response is that hit song by Abba " Money Money Money " I do not think there is a song about ATMs I also see a lot of T-Shirts " No Money No Honey " never a true word was spoken !!

Yes, but on the other hand the t-shirt with the text .....same same but different....can keep the mind boggling !

[lostmebike]

 

I only read the first two lines and my instant response is that hit song by Abba " Money Money Money " I do not think there is a song about ATMs I also see a lot of T-Shirts " No Money No Honey " never a true word was spoken !!

Yes, but on the other hand the t-shirt with the text .....same same but different....can keep the mind boggling !

 

 

Can you imagine a t-shirt with 'similar' instead on it? Just wouldn't have the same effect!

[bkkjames]

 

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

 

 

OP, you mention in your opening piece that "Thai society has accepted a large age gap in a relationship between younger Thai woman and older foreign man."

 

What exactly do you mean by "accepted?"  Accepted as a normal sort of thing?  I don't think that's true.  I think Thai society--like pretty much most other societies in the world--may "condone" it, but not necessarily accept it as the norm.  I myself prefer to date women typically 20 years younger than myself.  But I can sense that this is not the cultural norm.   

 

Pehaps she should have written, certain segments or certain locations accept it as the norm.

 

From where I live in Bkk, I look at the Thais around me, various age groups, but the average is probably less than 5 years difference.

 

All the Thai/Thai weddings I have attended, the bride is usually about 26-28 and the husband about 28-30 years old.

 

When visiting other parts of Thailand almost the same demographics are experienced.

 

Look at your inlaws and their partners.

 

I know of no Thai women living with guys 25+ years older than them.

When talking to my Thai nieces and their friends the thought of marrying an older man repulses them.

 

If you speak Thai listen to some of the coments normal Thais make.

I was on Suk rd the other week, the comment made was, looking she is taking her father for a walk, or in Thai, pa khun por bai tiaw.

 

 

Thanks for breaking up the creep-fest, mate.

 

 

I don't much care how much these old men want to delude themselves, it is NOT normal for a pensioner to be married to and breeding with a woman 20-40 years his junior.

 

The fact that Asians respect those of advanced age doesn't translate into a blanket endorsement of unions that produce offspring between 60 year-old overweight train wrecks in 50-inch waist khakis and 20-something local girls.

 

Next time you see one such couple - perhaps in your local Big C/Tesco Lotus - it'd be worth looking at how other Thais regard them.

 

In their view, the woman has demeaned and lowered herself for money.

 

 

 

I have written before about what I have observed in Tesco/Lotus or Big C On Nut.

 

Why do we never see these love birds pushing a trolley around and stacking up on frozen peas or the like.

 

They are usually observed at either,

 

a, the atm

b, the gold shop

c, the electronics section as the old goat is pulling out the readies to buy his teerak the latest i phone.

d, the liquor section, as the old goat stocks up on Chang and Sam Song.

 

Yes the smirks and remarks from other Thais is amusing, they know exactly whats taking place.

My favourite is watching these old goats trying to curry favour and ingratiate themselves with the locals, the dumb sap doesnt even realise he is buying drinks for the girls boyfriend and his buddies.

 

Much better than watching the mind numbing lakorn on the telly, soi theatre at its finest.
 

 

Well, perhaps try a different demographic : ie not Big C -  we shop at Foodland, Villa, Emporium, Paragon for food stuffs. Come by any Saturday in the morning and get your lil notebook out : this old goat and his family might shatter your myths and preconceived (wrongly, although I do agree there are exceptions) notions as we go from aisle to aisle picking up a things, putting a few things back that my sons believe they should have but are over-ruled on.

 

Not one bahhh bahh in site but if you listen closely you might here me yell " put that f ing brie back on the shelf Max". 

[rgs2001uk]

 

I know of no Thai women living with guys 25+ years older than them.
When talking to my Thai nieces and their friends the thought of marrying an older man repulses them.

Most of my young nieces and their friends get excited at the thought of all the money they would get if they managed to bag a rich old guy.

When I asked a particular 18 YO why she wanted me to introduce her to one of my elderly friends, I actually asked her if she was repulsed by the thought of sex with an old guy. Her reply was, "If he can buy me a house and car, then put me through uni, babies and sex aren't a problem". And she wasn't even from a poor family.

 

 

Very pragmatic girl.

I can take you to condo blocks housing uni students being "sponsored" by older Thai men.

The Thai men are smart enough not to be investing in worthless paddy fields upcountry or building farang style mansions.