Being Ignored - Do you say anything?

[Bundooman]

11 hours ago, 473geo said:

Why would they want to speak to me? my wife orders, my wife pays! I am there to eat....works for me.

 

 

That's how my friends treat their dog. Do they pat you on the head as well?

[mike1967]

I find that people who don't want you speak Thai aren't worth knowing anyway. I've spent time where no one speaks English and they seem happy to be able to communicate even if my Thai is limited.

[alex8912]

2 hours ago, Thian said:

This is why i only visit big places where i don't have to speak to anybody. 

But in Mac donalds or Burger king i make fun of them if they don't know what a hamburger is or don't know the numbers one two three and so.

 

Everywhere in BKK they have very young staff who are as dumb as a doorknob and can't speak inlit. I also use it though, the police or security don't dare to speak to me which is great.

 

But even loads of university graduated IT-pro's can't speak a word inlit, so i just don't speak to the one who can and ignore the others.

 

But in hotels (the better ones) i expect them to speak english to me and not thai to my wife or i will just tell them so. Thai always try the most easy way for them, they are just very selfish people.

You expect them to speak English to you and not Thai to your Thai wife? That is just brilliant! Makes zero sense. 

I am often with Thai friends checking into nice hotels and they speak Thai to my Thai friends and English to me. We are all quite happy.  BTW what is inlit? 

Edited November 5, 2017 by alex8912

[bazza73]

1 hour ago, jayboy said:

There are a a couple of points here.

 

it is astonishing how many farang have an unrealistically high opinion of their ability to speak Thai clearly.They communicate with their partner/families perhaps but don't understand  the latter have over the years resorted to some kind of pidgin Thai.The self aware might understand this but some don't and laughably have persuaded themselves they speak "good Thai".These are the people who freak out when some poor Thai is mystified by the murder of their language.

 

 

Valid point. I can communicate in Thai reasonably well, but I don't kid myself I will ever be fluent. For one thing, I can never get the tones exact.

Edited November 5, 2017 by bazza73

[473geo]

14 minutes ago, Bundooman said:

That's how my friends treat their dog. Do they pat you on the head as well?

I am happy for my wife to carry responsibilty for finances. I guess your friends have been elevated,instructed and coached by their dog to do the same. Good luck to them on that one Does their dog also throw you the bones to pick

[Aussieroaming]

i get ignored quite often, i appreciate the peace and quiet of being invisible

[Samui Bodoh]

4 minutes ago, Aussieroaming said:

i get ignored quite often, i appreciate the peace and quiet of being invisible

Er... sorry. Did you say something?

[grollies]

23 hours ago, Neeranam said:

I used to never really care when walking into a restaurant and not getting handed a menu, not being waied, when my wife and kids did, and the change being handed to my wife after I paid. I understand people wanting to talk to my wife instead of a foreigner, as they wrongly assume I'm illiterate.

These days, maybe cause I'm older and grumpier and tell them straight that they are being disrespectful and rude.

Yesterday, at McDonald's, my youngest kid was talked to, as if I wasn't there. I ordered, the idiot staff asked the 10 year old if I wanted upsize. I replied I did. Then she again asked my daughter if we were eating there. I asked the manager why she was ignoring me and said it was extremely rude. She said, "she doesn't speak farang". I said I wasn't speaking farang.

It happens all the time, and sometimes I joke about it. Once they realize I speak Thai fluently, usually things are ok.

I have countless stories, like a car park attendant telling my kid to tell me I needed a new car. 

Maybe I will share a few more similar stories if time.

Are you ignored, does it bother you?

................

[Aussieroaming]

Just now, Samui Bodoh said:

Er... sorry. Did you say something?

Shh..I'm enjoying my peace and quiet

[simon43]

When this happens to me, I always request (in fluent Thai, speaking slowly), if they could fetch someone who can speak Thai.

[sikishrory]

This can be annoying. What happened to me this morning is a great example of it actually.

I am checking out of my apartment tomorrow.

I get a knock at the door in the morning from the buildings Myanmar cleaning lady. She doesn't speak english and speaks average thai. She start to phone the Thai manager who has obviously sent her to organise us paying our bill. I am blocking the door and my Thai wife is in bed in her underwear asleep behind me. I see this lady trying to get my wifes attention and stick her head in the 2 foot of open door. She says "poo ying" and ignores me.

Her forward momentum wins as if I blocked her any more it might have become silly. She ends up standing in our room giving the phone to my wife. Who immediately suggests to the guy he talk to me. She then proceeds to tell him the wrong check out time as she doesn't know what our plans are yet.

This whole scenario made me furious but I didn't say anything.

Anyway a couple hours later we were talking about it and she said when she suggested he talk to me he got angry and insisted on talking to her.

So now he is going to be driving 40 minutes to collect money from me and I will probably be on my way to the airport. Which isn't an issue to me as I can easily do a bank transfer as I am freinds with the owner.

And yes.... always happens at restaurants. It's tiresome but usually it is my natural reaction to just answer them as they are looking at wife. Then there is other times where you do talk to them and they don't understand perfect Thai because they are listening out for english and maybe trying to figure out what khao phad gai means in the English language.

 

[InMyShadow]

If it's in a department store after a minute I will smack that phone out of their hand and watch it skid across the tiles for 20 meters.

Well I've actually thought about it...

[MrPatrickThai]

3 hours ago, lemonjelly said:

I’ve been told that waitresses etc giving the change to the wife is customary here, it’s one of those little nuances of Thai etiquette, you show status by paying, whereas collecting the change you’d expect in restaurants etc .... coins, small notes, kinda ruins the effect.

 

 

Sent from my Anderson Shelter using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

Never heard that one.  if I don't want the change, I say "mai dtong ton".

[jak2002003]

Wow.  I have never been ignored here because I was a farang.  

 

Only been ignored in places where the general customer service is poor.. which is the same for Thai people or Farangs.  That is then the shop staff or other people, can't be bothered to talk to anyone.  

 

Also never experienced Thai people not liking me speaking Thai.  In fact its often the opposite... they are happy about it.  If you are with someone who does not want you to understand what they are saying they are probably talking bad about you, or conning you somehow... and you would be best to keep away from them.  

 

Maybe the difference is I don't have a Thai partner?  Also, I am usually friendly and like to speak to people when out and about... maybe starting the conversation in Thai makes the difference... rather then just sitting there and getting moody if you think you are being ignored... or shouting at them in English.

 

You have to understand a big percentage of farangs can not speak Thai to even a basic level...even those you hear and think are speaking Thai will are often speaking it very badly as their tones are wrong..... so you can't blame some Thai people who are WORKING for not wanting to cause confusion, embarrassment and waste work time with farang (who probably can't speak Thai clearly) when they are with Thai people. 

 

 

[MrPatrickThai]

3 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

Wow.  I have never been ignored here because I was a farang.  

 

Only been ignored in places where the general customer service is poor.. which is the same for Thai people or Farangs.  That is then the shop staff or other people, can't be bothered to talk to anyone.  

 

Also never experienced Thai people not liking me speaking Thai.  In fact its often the opposite... they are happy about it.  If you are with someone who does not want you to understand what they are saying they are probably talking bad about you, or conning you somehow... and you would be best to keep away from them.  

 

Maybe the difference is I don't have a Thai partner?  Also, I am usually friendly and like to speak to people when out and about... maybe starting the conversation in Thai makes the difference... rather then just sitting there and getting moody if you think you are being ignored... or shouting at them in English.

 

You have to understand a big percentage of farangs can not speak Thai to even a basic level...even those you hear and think are speaking Thai will are often speaking it very badly as their tones are wrong..... so you can't blame some Thai people who are WORKING for not wanting to cause confusion, embarrassment and waste work time with farang (who probably can't speak Thai clearly) when they are with Thai people. 

 

 

Some true points but there are also many foreigners here that speak fluent Thai. I'm in the process of getting Thai citizenship, so that will be interesting when I get my ID card, surely there will be a few laughs. I say laugh about it as mostly just ignorance on the waiter's etc part. Also 99% of farang don't speak Thai so they are not used to it. 

I have kids who are half Thai and understand exactly what Neeranam means. It is ignorant and rude to give the menu/bill to my kids as I am obviously older and wouldn't you think they'd think that if you have a 20 year old kid, you may have been in Thailand a long time?

For a laugh I often say, listen son, I've been in Thailand longer than you have, in Thai obv.

I have walked into a restaurant, been talked about in a negative way(esp. in tourist areas), to be followed by the wife and kids, then walked straight out explaining to the staff why. Ah, life is tough  in Thailand.

Can you imagine this happening in your country? The staff would be fired!

 

 

[Media1]

14 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

It annoyed me when the change was always given to my gf when i had paid !! it seemed rude so i asked the gf not to take any change offered and just look at me instead, it works well and they usually give me the change and look suitably embarrassed.

Might seem a little bit childish to do this but it’s just a way of letting them know that they were not following the correct “ etiquette “ without making a scene.

Yes there rude and have no respect

[MaeJoMTB]

4 hours ago, jayboy said:

it is astonishing how many farang have an unrealistically high opinion of their ability to speak Thai clearly.They communicate with their partner/families perhaps but don't understand  the latter have over the years resorted to some kind of pidgin Thai.The self aware might understand this but some don't and laughably have persuaded themselves they speak "good Thai".These are the people who freak out when some poor Thai is mystified by the murder of their language.

Dunno if I speak good Thai, but if they give me their order pad, I can write it down for them.

Although one lady did tell  me my spelling was on the level of a Thai farm labourer, oddly they seem able to understand poor spelling with ease.

[MaeJoMTB]

53 minutes ago, MrPatrickThai said:

Some true points but there are also many foreigners here that speak fluent Thai. I'm in the process of getting Thai citizenship, so that will be interesting when I get my ID card, surely there will be a few laughs. I say laugh about it as mostly just ignorance on the waiter's etc part.

Doesn't matter,  you'll always be the farang.

[MaeJoMTB]

2 hours ago, MrPatrickThai said:

If you answer my question as to who your MIL sold her daughter to a aged 18.

Some old Thai guy in her village, she didn't like him ran off to Bangkok joined a drugs gang, a bit later I encountered and purchased her (with her consent). And she's stuck around for a while.

 

[chickenslegs]

15 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

It annoyed me when the change was always given to my gf when i had paid !! it seemed rude so i asked the gf not to take any change offered and just look at me instead, it works well and they usually give me the change and look suitably embarrassed.

Might seem a little bit childish to do this but it’s just a way of letting them know that they were not following the correct “ etiquette “ without making a scene.

 

Not just poor etiquette - also missing a good tip.

 

If the change is handed to my wife, I let her leave the tip. Invariably, it is just the loose coins or a 20 Baht note.

 

I am a comparatively generous tipper, as I guess most foreigners here are, but only if the change is handed to me.

[Been there done that]

15 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

It is not a fact. People who want to cheat you don't like it, this is more common in the red light area's. In the "normal" world they like it.

The normal world in Thailand, youre a funny man. The general attitude towards foreigners in this beloved land is hit and hope. Maybe you should replace the word "normal" into "special". Then your post makes some sense. I speak Thai reasonably but more often than not the response i get is "uuuuhhhhhh" or a stare with silence. 

[rwill]

lol, what annoys me is my wife still acting like she has to translate everything for me.

[tonray]

When she asked your kid if you wanted yo upsize, you should have asked your kid to ask her if she wanted to get paid.

[The Deerhunter]

On 04/11/2017 at 8:10 PM, kenk24 said:

Oh, it happens occasionally and is worth a laugh... my Thai is pretty good and I am fairly fluid conversationally and yet, there are people who cannot understand a word I am saying... it is as if they just see me and their mind turns off...

 

The other day, I stopped at a coffee shop in the countryside and spoke in Thai with the proprietor... she was totally blank and a Thai customer using my exact words, understood everything I said perfectly and repeated it exactly to the lady - who then understood... 

 

I asked the young Thai fellow why he understood and she didn't - we all just laughed. 

 

Of course, if it bothered me I could live in my home country where people understand my words, but not much else... 

 

As Samui says above - let it go - no malice... 

Yep.  Had that many times.  See a Falang and don't bother to listen because they "know" they won't be abke to understand.  I also have had other Thais parrot what I said and been understood.  It is interesting because we usually manage to understand when foreigners of all types mangle English but many Thais seem to have a zero threshold about us mispronouncing or using the wrong tone. 

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, Been there done that said:

The normal world in Thailand, youre a funny man. The general attitude towards foreigners in this beloved land is hit and hope. Maybe you should replace the word "normal" into "special". Then your post makes some sense. I speak Thai reasonably but more often than not the response i get is "uuuuhhhhhh" or a stare with silence. 

Try to improve your Thai as it might not be so good as you think it is.

[MrPatrickThai]

3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Doesn't matter,  you'll always be the farang.

It does matter, I'll not need a visa, be able to start my own company and buy land.

Sure, I'll still be a farang, of course. his happens with citizens of different ethnic backgrounds in most countries. Are you suggesting I don't integrate because of my skin colour?

[jacko45k]

I do tend to let my Mrs order, but my Thai is inadequate.

I am amused by the way they always present her with the bill though.... really, surely they know 'falang pay'....I put it mostly down to them not speaking English and being uncomfortable about it.

[Keesters]

You don't look Thai how can you possibly speak Thai equates to we don't look Farang we don't speak Farang.

 

When you only speak one language anyone who speaks more than one makes you feel inferior doesn't it. Why would a Thai would ever want to feel inferior to a Farang. Better to ignore them and pretend they are not there.

 

[Andycoops]

I have been in Thailand for more than 9 years and if it happens to me I get up and leave, although this is very rare as I normally don't receive such bad treatment.

There are plenty of other places who would welcome my custom.

 

[Been there done that]

1 hour ago, Keesters said:

You don't look Thai how can you possibly speak Thai equates to we don't look Farang we don't speak Farang.

 

When you only speak one language anyone who speaks more than one makes you feel inferior doesn't it. Why would a Thai would ever want to feel inferior to a Farang. Better to ignore them and pretend they are not there.

 

I thought so 2