Worst Joke Ever 2024

[roo860]

[roo860]

[still kicking]

[still kicking]

Edited March 13 by still kicking
can't delete pic

[still kicking]

[still kicking]

[chickenslegs]

[roo860]

[VocalNeal]

Is semen Gender Fliud 🤔

[Crossy]

Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm are driving along the road together - Heisenberg is driving.

 

After a time, they are stopped by a traffic cop. Heisenberg pulls over, and the cop comes up to the driver's window.

“Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?” asks the cop.

“No” replies Heisenberg “but I know precisely where I am”

“You were doing 70.” says the cop

“Great!” says Heisenberg “Now we're lost!”

 

The cop thinks this is very strange behaviour and so he decides to inspect the vehicle. After a time he comes back to the driver's window and says

“Do you know there's a dead cat in the trunk?”

“Well, now we do!!” yells Schrodinger.

 

The cop thinks this is all too weird, so he proceeds to arrest the three.

 

Ohm resists.

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

A bad limbo dancer walks into a bar...

[ballpoint]

A ghost walks into a bar.

The barman says "sorry, we don't serve spirits here".

[ballpoint]

The rule "i before e, except after c" has just been disproven by science.

[ballpoint]

[ravip]

So, there is a lot of talk about kids identifying as cats or dogs “furries”, they call them.

 

Imagine if you can, that one of your kids told you they thought they were a cat?

 

Sitting at the dinner table son says: “Dad, I think I’m a cat!

 

Dad: “No son, you’re a boy! “

 

My son: “No dad some of my friends at school identify as cats, they call themselves furries, and so do I !! It’s my right and you can’t do anything about it!”

 

Dad:  “OK!! “

 

My son: “Hey, where’s my dinner? “

 

Dad: “Your dinner is in the catfood bowl in the corner. Now get off the table you mangy cat!”

 

My son: “What???”

 

Dad: hits him with a broom, “get off the table furball!!”

 

My son in the corner looking bewildered!

 

Me to my wife : “Is that cat neutered”??

 

My wife: “I will make an appointment!! “

 

My son: “What??? “ 

 

Dad: “Your mother and I have decided we don’t want a house cat, so get out to the barn and hunt mice!”

 

My son: “What???”

 

Dad: brandishes broom, “NOW, to the garage you stupid cat!!”

 

My son: “Dad, I think I’m a boy!”

 

Dad: “I thought so, now sit down and eat your dinner!!”

 

Spay and neuter these animals. Stop them from reproducing. Today’s society has enough fruit loops already.

End of story!

[ravip]

Edited March 14 by ravip

[VBF]

9 hours ago, Crossy said:

Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm are driving along the road together - Heisenberg is driving.

 

After a time, they are stopped by a traffic cop. Heisenberg pulls over, and the cop comes up to the driver's window.

“Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?” asks the cop.

“No” replies Heisenberg “but I know precisely where I am”

“You were doing 70.” says the cop

“Great!” says Heisenberg “Now we're lost!”

 

The cop thinks this is very strange behaviour and so he decides to inspect the vehicle. After a time he comes back to the driver's window and says

“Do you know there's a dead cat in the trunk?”

“Well, now we do!!” yells Schrodinger.

 

The cop thinks this is all too weird, so he proceeds to arrest the three.

 

Ohm resists.

That's no way to conduct himself 😆

[billd766]

19 minutes ago, VBF said:

That's no way to conduct himself 😆

Perhaps they needed Allessandro Volta (b 1745, d 1827) to shock him into life.

[roo860]

https://youtube.com/shorts/ytMcE0AeHLo?si=3tmklxlWSpHopzpB

[still kicking]

[tomazbodner]

2 blondes talking: You know, I must be a very talented artist.

What makes you think that?

The moment I took the first photo with my new mobile, it asked me if I want to open gallery...

[tomazbodner]

What's the difference between AseanNow and prison?

None. Sit here all day waiting, and writing on the wall...

[still kicking]