Paying Thai girlfriend a "salary"

[dannyboy78]

Hey guys i been have a country "woman" from isaan (1ouer from Udon) she has a 13year old son from a previous marridge...we been together about a year and she has been in my country for 6months/Sweden...she lives with her mom & dad and her son goes to school...when she's not here i send her 15000bhat so she can have a decent living while im not in thailand...when she was here i send 10000bhat to her mom so she can pay for school,food,&motobike for her son....so my question is? am i a sucker and pay to mutch? she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc...i guess this is a common question...im not poor but about 15k thats my roof about sending dho im a normal worker with a normal pay in sweden.

[bwpage3]

11 minutes ago, dannyboy78 said:

Hey guys i been have a country "woman" from isaan (1ouer from Udon) she has a 13year old son from a previous marridge...we been together about a year and she has been in my country for 6months/Sweden...she lives with her mom & dad and her son goes to school...when she's not here i send her 15000bhat so she can have a decent living while im not in thailand...when she was here i send 10000bhat to her mom so she can pay for school,food,&motobike for her son....so my question is? am i a sucker and pay to mutch? she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc...i guess this is a common question...im not poor but about 15k thats my roof about sending dho im a normal worker with a normal pay in sweden.

15,000 per month isn't much these days but it seems you are doing the best you can. 

She is right, working in the rice field is backbreaking work and the pay in Isaan is often only 200 to 300 baht per day.

15,000 is a cheap price if she is taking care of you and you like her.

 

[Kadilo]

21 minutes ago, dannyboy78 said:

Hey guys i been have a country "woman" from isaan (1ouer from Udon) she has a 13year old son from a previous marridge...we been together about a year and she has been in my country for 6months/Sweden...she lives with her mom & dad and her son goes to school...when she's not here i send her 15000bhat so she can have a decent living while im not in thailand...when she was here i send 10000bhat to her mom so she can pay for school,food,&motobike for her son....so my question is? am i a sucker and pay to mutch? she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc...i guess this is a common question...im not poor but about 15k thats my roof about sending dho im a normal worker with a normal pay in sweden.

The 15,000/ month seems pretty fair, but the 10,000 when she’s not there I think is a bit of a <deleted> take on their part imo. 

[CG1 Blue]

12 minutes ago, dannyboy78 said:

Hey guys i been have a country "woman" from isaan (1ouer from Udon) she has a 13year old son from a previous marridge...we been together about a year and she has been in my country for 6months/Sweden...she lives with her mom & dad and her son goes to school...when she's not here i send her 15000bhat so she can have a decent living while im not in thailand...when she was here i send 10000bhat to her mom so she can pay for school,food,&motobike for her son....so my question is? am i a sucker and pay to mutch? she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc...i guess this is a common question...im not poor but about 15k thats my roof about sending dho im a normal worker with a normal pay in sweden.

"she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc"

 

That to me is a red flag. Better to find a woman who is willing to work in the fields when no other options are available. A good work ethic is a good sign if you're looking for a long term relationship, in my humble opinion. 

 

[dannyboy78]

17 minutes ago, bwpage3 said:

15,000 per month isn't much these days but it seems you are doing the best you can. 

She is right, working in the rice field is backbreaking work and the pay in Isaan is often only 200 to 300 baht per day.

15,000 is a cheap price if she is taking care of you and you like her.

 

thanks for a nice answer.. i would not let her work in the fields...im 41 and she's 37 and we have a good relationship...in februari she going for a interwiew for a 2year visa stay here in Sweden...im gonna fix a job for her and right now everything feels right...

[dannyboy78]

13 minutes ago, CG1 Blue said:

"she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc"

 

That to me is a red flag. Better to find a woman who is willing to work in the fields when no other options are available. A good work ethic is a good sign if you're looking for a long term relationship, in my humble opinion. 

 

well im 41 and shes 37...i wont let her work in the sun 12-14ouers for what a coffee-mugg cost here...when she was here i let her work as a painter one month for about 800bhat/ouer after tax so dhe a working-bee and never complain's...dho i dont live in stockholm i have to live in a caravan during monday-thursday and she stayd with me there every week for the 6month stay with a smile on her face...not o e complaint ever????...i have a house 2 ouers from stockholm witch we stay 3-4night when im off work...thanks for reply????

[dannyboy78]

Just now, dannyboy78 said:

well im 41 and shes 37...i wont let her work in the sun 12-14ouers for what a coffee-mugg cost here...when she was here i let her work as a painter one month for about 800bhat/ouer after tax so dhe a working-bee and never complain's...dho i dont live in stockholm i have to live in a caravan during monday-thursday and she stayd with me there every week for the 6month stay with a smile on her face...not o e complaint ever????...i have a house 2 ouers from stockholm witch we stay 3-4night when im off work...thanks for answer????

 

[dannyboy78]

21 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

The 15,000/ month seems pretty fair, but the 10,000 when she’s not there I think is a bit of a <deleted> take on their part imo. 

yeah i agree about the 10000:- just for her son when she stayd here with me for 6months....i was thinking it must be expensive just for school/food and a short trip there/back to school....do you know about what the cost is per month in a regular school just outside Udon? thanks for replying????

[CG1 Blue]

14 minutes ago, dannyboy78 said:

33 minutes ago, CG1 Blue said:

"she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc"

 

That to me is a red flag. Better to find a woman who is willing to work in the fields when no other options are available. A good work ethic is a good sign if you're looking for a long term relationship, in my humble opinion. 

 

well im 41 and shes 37...i wont let her work in the sun 12-14ouers for what a coffee-mugg cost here...when she was here i let her work as a painter one month for about 800bhat/ouer after tax so dhe a working-bee and never complain's...dho i dont live in stockholm i have to live in a caravan during monday-thursday and she stayd with me there every week for the 6month stay with a smile on her face...not o e complaint ever????...i have a house 2 ouers from stockholm witch we stay 3-4night when im off work...thanks for reply????

Ok, if she's willing to work but you don't want her to, that's completely different. 

On the monthly payments, I assume that of the 15,000bht she only uses 5,000bht for herself, and the remaining 10,000bht is for family support and school costs etc. That would explain why it drops to 10,000bht p/m when she's with you. 

[NokNokJoke]

Last month I got the salary pitch from the divorced grandmother I had just set up house keeping with. I was already giving her some spending money, money for her mother, and covering all expenses.

She told me if she worked full time as a housekeeper she would get 10000 b a month. This is what she expected.

She had never had a full time job of any kind in her life.

I asked her if I was her boyfriend and possible future husband, or an employer?

She chose employer.


I then fired her!

(There were other issues, this was opportune)

I tried to tell her I'd go with the 10,000 b number, but money for mom, her share of the rent and utilities, and food, came out of that. Leaving about 1000 b a month.
( And no more gifts)

She looked at me like was crazy.

Sent from my Nokia 6.1 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[bwpage3]

20 hours ago, CG1 Blue said:

"she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc"

 

That to me is a red flag. Better to find a woman who is willing to work in the fields when no other options are available. A good work ethic is a good sign if you're looking for a long term relationship, in my humble opinion. 

 

What do you think she was doing before she met him?

[bwpage3]

20 hours ago, dannyboy78 said:

yeah i agree about the 10000:- just for her son when she stayd here with me for 6months....i was thinking it must be expensive just for school/food and a short trip there/back to school....do you know about what the cost is per month in a regular school just outside Udon? thanks for replying????

10,000 baht is nothing these days. I would stop worrying about the money and concentrate on your relationship. 

[NaamGin]

On 8/17/2019 at 9:02 PM, DeathShroud said:

There are certainly a lot of government employees that are equivalent rank of Lieutenant Colonel or Colonel who are near 40, Masters or PhD, (albeit from Thailand, but still), that speak passable English, speak a few other languages, can cook, looking for a decent guy who wants a quiet life.

 

I am asked at least once a week, via intermediaries, do I know any Farang, jai dii, who will accept an older 30s+ Govt. Officer Thai lady.

 

After 30, a Thai lady is seen as over the hill in Thai culture, generally.

 

After getting my fill of rather mercenary relationships in Thailand, this is what I did. I found a nice, uni educated government employee in her mid 30's that didn't need me to save her. That's the key, find someone that doesn't need your baht. We are pushing 10 years together now and this is probably the single best decision I've ever made. 

 

As far as the OP, he is confusing sex and love. You don't pay someone for their loyalty, you pay them for sex and to go away the next day.. It's just a business arrangement, so take the emotion out of the equation.  If you are couple, then you will be expected to contribute to the relationship as you would in any relationship, anywhere. So you wind up paying either way. It's easy to find either type of these relationships in Thailand, just don't get tricked into thinking your p4p darling really cares about you. 

[BritManToo]

38 minutes ago, NaamGin said:

If you are couple, then you will be expected to contribute to the relationship as you would in any relationship, anywhere

Never had any woman in any country contribute anything but a token amount. I know many keyboard warriors claim different, but only encountered it once in my life, and that was a pals wife (and he was the drug dealer/violent criminal type that women really want) . 

 

I'm happy to pay for young, pretty, and under 50kg.

Edited October 7, 2019 by BritManToo

[sanemax]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Never had any woman in any country contribute anything but a token amount. I know many keyboard warriors claim different, but only encountered it once in my life, and that was a pals wife. 

 

I'm happy to pay for young, pretty, and under 50kg.

Thats just you though and the whole world doesnt revolve around just you and your personal situation . . 

   Many Females have high paying jobs and many of these Females are married and make a financial contribution to their household .

  Many Females pay their own way these days and just because you have never been involved with one of them, that doesnt mean that they dont exist .

  The days of a non working stay at home wife these days are quite rare and the majority of Females work and pay their way  , even the girls that you pay to have sex with are working to fund themselves 

[Billthekiwi]

On 10/6/2019 at 7:41 PM, dannyboy78 said:

Hey guys i been have a country "woman" from isaan (1ouer from Udon) she has a 13year old son from a previous marridge...we been together about a year and she has been in my country for 6months/Sweden...she lives with her mom & dad and her son goes to school...when she's not here i send her 15000bhat so she can have a decent living while im not in thailand...when she was here i send 10000bhat to her mom so she can pay for school,food,&motobike for her son....so my question is? am i a sucker and pay to mutch? she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc...i guess this is a common question...im not poor but about 15k thats my roof about sending dho im a normal worker with a normal pay in sweden.

Hi Dannyboy,

The average family income is 9000 per month so you are very generous and all her family should appreciate you.

 

I would not offer more for a sick cow or the like as you are supplying ample funds already.

 

Your woman I hope is a good one. At her age and with a child her prospects are slim in Thailand. You should be deserving of respect including absolute faithfulness.

 

Friends with more time than me in Thailand told me what they thought Thai women wanted.

1. A roof over their head.

2. Food on the table.

3. Treated fairly and well.

This would induce a good one to love you all your life.

 

To make her very happy then you need to allow for some generosity to her parents.

 

I know a man that has a very young little hotie. From a great family. She is an only child.

 

The parents keep him fed and watered with his favorite beer whenever he is in Thailand.

 

All they want is I guess marriage but more especially a grandchild.

 

My friend tries his best to give her a child even twice a day sometimes but so far no luck.

 

I suspect that she rather enjoys the trying rather than the idea of pregnancy. Perhaps she takes a pill to delay things.

 

The point is that not every family needs your support. I believe that he is free with his money when in Thailand and has her with him in his country as much as possible. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 10/7/2019 at 1:41 AM, dannyboy78 said:

Hey guys i been have a country "woman" from isaan (1ouer from Udon) she has a 13year old son from a previous marridge...we been together about a year and she has been in my country for 6months/Sweden...she lives with her mom & dad and her son goes to school...when she's not here i send her 15000bhat so she can have a decent living while im not in thailand...when she was here i send 10000bhat to her mom so she can pay for school,food,&motobike for her son....so my question is? am i a sucker and pay to mutch? she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc...i guess this is a common question...im not poor but about 15k thats my roof about sending dho im a normal worker with a normal pay in sweden.

As another poster said already, an average wage is about 9,000. If you want to send her more than that it's up to you, but it's not necessary, as she is living at home. What does a "decent living" mean to you?

You bought a 13 year old a m'bike? What were you thinking? Do you know how many people get killed riding m'bikes in LOS? Kids on m'bikes were always the biggest hazard when I was driving to the village- they just don't seem to be aware that there are other road users.

 

she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc

What would she be doing if you were not giving her money for nothing?

 

If I learned nothing else form my failed marriage, it is that no matter how much money one spends on them, in the end it means nothing, and will not change the outcome. Either she will stay with you without any money being sent and get a job ( living like any Thai woman without a sugar daddy ), or she's just in it for the money.

As they say- up to you.

[saengd]

Average wage in Thailand is currently THB 14,300 per month.

 

https://tradingeconomics.com/thailand/wages

Edited October 23, 2019 by saengd

[Captain 776]

Please take this they way it is meant.......to HELP YOU.........anyone paying anyone a monthly stipend / salary is a fool and in the F A S S S S S T Lane to ruin.

[1FinickyOne]

13 minutes ago, Captain 776 said:

anyone paying anyone a monthly stipend / salary is a fool

Even my father in the western world paid/gave my mother money to manage the household with, pay the bills, buy the food and something for herself... I do the same here and my wife portions money out to the family as needed too... when you are part of a family, you help others along where you can, education for the kids etc... 

 

I know some people here consider that paying for a "pro"... others consider it typical family sharing and caring for loved ones... I am pleased that I can help my wife have a good life... and her family too... 

[1FinickyOne]

On 10/6/2019 at 7:41 PM, dannyboy78 said:

Hey guys i been have a country "woman" from isaan (1ouer from Udon) she has a 13year old son from a previous marridge...we been together about a year and she has been in my country for 6months/Sweden...she lives with her mom & dad and her son goes to school...when she's not here i send her 15000bhat so she can have a decent living while im not in thailand...when she was here i send 10000bhat to her mom so she can pay for school,food,&motobike for her son....so my question is? am i a sucker and pay to mutch? she doesent work dho she says not good money for working in ricefield etc...i guess this is a common question...im not poor but about 15k thats my roof about sending dho im a normal worker with a normal pay in sweden.

Helping someone along that you care about is not foolish... in an alternate universe beyond TVF - - it is called being kind, considerate and generous... as long as you can afford it, there is no downside. 

[WhatupThailand]

On 10/25/2019 at 12:30 PM, Captain 776 said:

Please take this they way it is meant.......to HELP YOU.........anyone paying anyone a monthly stipend / salary is a fool and in the F A S S S S S T Lane to ruin.

I disagree, Only a Fool will not support his Family.

Better to sow seeds, so that you can reap a Blessing, than squander on temporary things.

When you reach the end of life, while contemplating your past, which will make you Happier ?

After all, you can't take it with you.

How long will you be remembered ?

Will they Place your Photo in a High Position in the House, or put it in a bag in the storage bin ?

 

[Mrfox]

Do whatever makes you happy, that's all it counts.

[Ireland32]

On 10/25/2019 at 12:52 PM, kenk24 said:

Helping someone along that you care about is not foolish... in an alternate universe beyond TVF - - it is called being kind, considerate and generous... as long as you can afford it, there is no downside. 

I was paying my gf well, until I went to my local bar , and found out while away , she had over 100 customers some in my condo if they couldn’t afford hotel, I was giving 15,000 a month and 11,000 for rent , she did this while i was in hospital in USA, the girls in bar thought I was just a customer, Never again and I’m learning Thai so not to be a fool, while she talks to her local thsi bfs, she’s an Ex, Now after 7 years of Lies, cheat, stealing

[CharlieH]

A troll post (pimp?) and responses to it removed.

[1FinickyOne]

5 hours ago, Ireland32 said:

I was paying my gf well, until I went to my local bar , and found out while away , she had over 100 customers some in my condo if they couldn’t afford hotel, I was giving 15,000 a month and 11,000 for rent , she did this while i was in hospital in USA, the girls in bar thought I was just a customer, Never again and I’m learning Thai so not to be a fool, while she talks to her local thsi bfs, she’s an Ex, Now after 7 years of Lies, cheat, stealing

so, are you trying to say it is not working out too well for you? 

[Kadilo]

11 hours ago, Ireland32 said:

I was paying my gf well, until I went to my local bar , and found out while away , she had over 100 customers some in my condo if they couldn’t afford hotel, I was giving 15,000 a month and 11,000 for rent , she did this while i was in hospital in USA, the girls in bar thought I was just a customer, Never again and I’m learning Thai so not to be a fool, while she talks to her local thsi bfs, she’s an Ex, Now after 7 years of Lies, cheat, stealing

Onwards and upwards mate, she ain’t worth it. 

[Ireland32]

12 hours ago, kenk24 said:

so, are you trying to say it is not working out too well for you? 

She gone , working very well Now, but ex keep calling , can we be friends, NO

[atyclb]

On 4/4/2019 at 10:02 PM, Pravda said:

Let me put it to you this way. 

 

If you're 31 and Thai girls are asking you to pay them salary then you must be very ugly. If they are asking for 50,000 then just quit life right now.

 

 based on observation can't say theres many young guys fit and handsome but lots unfit overweight, non-handsome(being kind), some social misfits.  i have met and chatted with many who as their older counterparts, usually come to thailand cause they lack social grace/skills with women in their home countries.

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, atyclb said:

 

 based on observation can't say theres many young guys fit and handsome but lots unfit overweight, non-handsome(being kind), some social misfits.  i have met and chatted with many who as their older counterparts, usually come to thailand cause they lack social grace/skills with women in their home countries.

Or maybe, they just can't be bothered to jump through all the hoops that western women demand for infrequent sex with the risk of a rape accusation (I was drunk), or the loss of your home (she moved in), or child support for 19 years (her choice) later.

Edited January 20, 2020 by BritManToo