Paying Thai girlfriend a "salary"

[4675636b596f75]

On 4/4/2019 at 6:05 PM, FarangOnTour said:

by which I mean; do all Farangs pay their Thai girlfriend/wife?

Only the idiots.

[marcusarelus]

1 minute ago, 4675636b596f75 said:

Only the idiots.

I think you meant to say, "only the idiots who don't live alone."

[Frankri]

4 hours ago, rosst said:

It is not just in Thailand, here in the Philippines some foriegners treat their lady like a whore and pay them an "allowance" but I am not going down that track it goes against the grain for me. 

Exactly in PH happen the same , and everyone saying that the Filipinos people are so lovely .... How much hypocrisy have there and here ... 

 

Everything is about open the legs and the wallet . Nothing more

[Franko666]

On 4/4/2019 at 11:29 PM, Bangel72 said:

Always amusing.

In relationships all across the world where one partner has more money and potential earnings than the other its fairly normal to share some of that income.

If they cook, clean and often put your 'other' needs first that's got to be worth something, if they are not working, paying for some courses to improve their chances in the future may be a better option for both parties than cash, getting them working with their own income is optimal.

If you throw kids into the mix and they are also pretty much a full time nanny on top of everything else, you could sit down and work out the cost of a nanny and their own loss of working on top of that.

None of this sounds like customer to me but if you are not helping them plan for their own future its going to be a harsh reality when you step out of the picture and you would be doing more harm than good being in that relationship, unless you are 50/50 split sort of guy.

Alternatively be a customer, its a business arrangement and here its often a buyers market so choose wisely and within your budget, but do not kid yourself or her that its anything else or you are already down that fools path that will leave you with a harsh lesson and potentially penniless only to make the same mistake again if you get back into some dosh. If you lie to yourself now that its not a business relationship you will lie to yourself the next time again and again 'oh this one's different' hohoho. 

In your case, the 50k number makes you a dead cert for the customer category, no doubts about it.
 

 

[Dazinoz]

Little off topic but was recently having a drink in a Chiang Mai bar with a couple ladies (correct term?). One I have known a little while and have bought her a few drinks now and then. Said it was my birthday in a few weeks and was thinking of heading to Phuket for my birthday. This one lady got excited and said I come with you. So I said how much would you want to come for the week remembering that I will  be paying for airfares, airport transfers, hotel, food, drinks, attraction visit and anything else. Reply came back at 20,000. You can guess wether she went or not.

[bkk6060]

Some pretty naive comments here on how much some of these girls make working.

 

I know several in the 80 to 100,000 b a month range.

 

50,000 a month many many girls easlily make that in Pattaya. Several on BR.

 

It is funny actually the nay sayers on this are jealous males.  Why? Because  these girls are pulling more money then their lousy retirement checks. Tough to handle that I bet. 

[Franko666]

My first thought was Farangontour was a piss taker just wanting to stir up the forum, then I thought no, he might be a tad simple. Then I thought Farangontour says he is earning 100,000 THB per month in his home Country, however he will be lucky to scrape together half of that in Thailand with his limited intelligence. Mmm I suspect a decent handjob a couple of times a week in the massage parlour might be his best bet. Not as though there is anything wrong with that.????

[ianezy0]

On 4/4/2019 at 10:19 PM, marcusarelus said:

Maybe you should know me before going off on me.  Wife told me she could not have children.  Ha ha ha joke on me.  Two of the kids were not mine but I paid child support.  Ha ha joke on me.  I was unhappy when she kicked me in the crotch on the way back from the church and said straighten up kiddo now you are married (we had an open relationship which involved a couple of her girlfriends and wild drunken parties at clothing optional resorts all over the country).  She made three times as much as I did as soon as we got a divorce.  Ha ha ha joke on me.  She married her millionaire boyfriend shortly after our divorce and he came with 6 cars and 3 homes all over the world.  But she collected child support every month every penny.  Why should I be bitter?  But I had it easy compared to a couple of Aussie mates of mine. 

Geez... I would rather not know you Sir as you come across as an idiot

[khunPer]

On 4/4/2019 at 1:05 PM, FarangOnTour said:

Excuse me if I sound like a "cheap Charlie" but this does not seem 100% correct to me. Is this the case across the board, by which I mean; do all Farangs pay their Thai girlfriend/wife?

 

If this is the case how does one go about assessing the appropriate amount to give to a partner? Under what parameters are such assessments made?

 

Do Thai men pay for Thai partners the same way Farangs do?

 

For clarity, I couldn't help but run some maths in my head after a lovely girl I met (from Issan) told me that if she wanted me to take care of her it would cost 50'000bhat per month (I could barely contain the laughter as it would effectively be half my monthly wage after tax).

You need to consider the man in a relationship, husband or boyfriend or fiancee, as a provider for a family; just like in old time Western countries.

 

It would be common that a plain young Thai man – and when I say "plain", I mean someone with a normal work paying anything from above minimum salary up to for example 30,000 baht a month, not a hi-so – it would be common that he would give his monthly income to his fiancee, and she would then supply him with some pocket money. In that way he would show that he is able to provide for a family, and his fiancee, or wife to be, would often save up some money, but also in some level support her own family, as its mostly daughters that takes care of parents and grandparents, whenever they can afford it.

 

For us modern Westerners its against our culture to pay a girl, even we did the same before, today we share. That culture gap you might need to overcome, to be able to enter a relationship with a Thai woman,

 

The best you can do for yourself is to buy the book "Thailand Fever", and carefully read about the culture gap between West and Thailand. The book also include how we Westerners live, and its written in both English (and also translated to German and Dutch) and Thai language, so you can share the information with a future partner; she will also understand your way-of-thinking, compared to the Thai-way-of-thinking, much better, and many small conflicts, which can grow to big problems, can be solved that way. Read more here at thailandfever.com, the book is available in English language Thai book-stores, or from Internet.

 

The chapter "Money and Support" might surprise you.

 

Many farang men do pay their Thai wife a "salary" or allowance, but it might not be all, and it might be depending of the relationship. I know for example Thai ladies in the mid thirties and older, that are happy to  marry a foreigner, and live abroad, having the possibility to work there, keep her payment, and send money home to their family, or save of for the future. In a relationship like that the "salary" could be accommodation and local farang food, in return the wife takes care of the house – kind of housekeeper job – and any in foreign countries expensive Thai food is her own business. I have a number of friends living like that. Others might share more, like an all Western couple, but often the Thai lady will be disappointed, and seek a way out, as this is not what she expected from a farang husband; unfortunately a child, or several, can make such situations (very) complicated.

 

So to enter a Thai relationship, you need in most cases to accept that you are a provider, or cash-cow, or walking ATM. A Thai woman often, or normally, expect a farang relationship to equal some level of money. And why should she look for a farang – apart from the probably more rare cases, where two, mainly young, people really fall in love – if its not better than having a Thai boyfriend/husband?

 

I know of a number of young Thai girls that feel in love with a young farang, but sadly had to give it up, because he could not provide enough for what her family expected. Some sad stories.

 

Most women, all over the World, dream about marrying a billionaire, or dream about a prince on a white horse – today it might be in a white Mercedes – Thai women are not that different, but they might dream harder. For a village girl – and its often women from rural Isaan villages, we farangs meet, if we're not mingling in the higher social levels with Chinese business owners, higher educated women, of celebrities – her change to meet the prince in the white Mercedes, i.e. the "rich farang", is not big in a remote village, so she will head to urban areas, or tourist destinations, to find one. As she need money for living, she will work there, a work that could be anything from "a normal job", like room-cleaning in a hotel, to entertainment; often the latter provide (much) better income, and at the same time increase the possibility of contact to foreign men. However, many ladies meet foreigners without working in entertainment business, and you can also meet "nice girls" at discos and parties.

 

So when it comes to your salary, your figures are not that wrong. Before – and that might be a decade and more ago – the saying was 20,000 baht a month, but today many a bird in the entertaining nightlife can easily make 50,000 baht a month, or even the double. So if you ask the bird to stop working, she will need to be proper compensated, taking her life-style and obligations into consideration; it might be fair with less than 50,000 baht, but if its too little, she might have no alternatives than looking for some way of extra income, a job or...

–What would you say, if someone asked you to stop working, and you had a (really) well paid job, wouldn't you ask for some compensation to live of, and how high should that compensation be, compared to your present income?

 

If a woman can settle with a minimum salary, i.e. 300 baht a day, why would she work in nightlife? Its easy to be paid little more than minimum salary. And finding a Thai man, she could also dispose over a major part of his income – he is prepared to provide for a family – and she understand how a Thai man think, farangs often think too complicated, and think too much, from a Thai point of view.

 

The succesful Thai-farang relationships I know – including my personal experience – are based on a fair allowance, which you can call salary, from husmand or man, to wife or girlfriend. What is fair is individual, and also depending of social level – social status means a lot for Thais, and if you are "placed" in a certain social level, its expected to act accordingly – but fair also mean enough for a decent life-style, depending of the wife or girlfriend has an additional income of her own.

 

Some girls, and ladies, are gold diggers – and gold diggers can easily be found outside the nightlife venues – whilst others, presumably most, are genuine nice women, looking for a steady relationship, often with bad experience from a previous Thai relationship. A girl working in the nightlife can easily be a nice girl, looking for the right "prince", and not being a gold digger at all, but interested in a long lasting, if not life-long, relationship or marriage.

 

To me 50,000 baht seems high – I would think that girl need a few more years earning good money before she settles with someone, or just look for someone more rich – whilst around 20,000 baht, plus/minus, still sound as a fair agreement, depending of obligations, for example a child, or children, to support from a previous relationship. However, I know ladies that are having a higher allowance, but their partners can also afford it.

 

The best advice I – and many others, I presume – can give you is: "Don't fall in love". It's so easy to loose one's hearth to a charming little Thai lady – I know, I talk from experience – especially when not having many years experience in the game. For some it works well – we do se posts about life-long happy relationships – whilst for others it might be better to regard a Thai-farang relationship as a "business", but that can also work very well in (life) long term, if both parts are aware of the conditions, and there is a fair balance of payment and service. If you are not prepared to that kind of commitment, its much better – and in the long run also much cheaper – to use the "pay-and-play" method; maximum three days with same play-mate, so no one loose a hearth...????

[balo]

Surely OP is a troll and you're all feeding it?  
 

 

 

[Frankri]

17 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Some pretty naive comments here on how much some of these girls make working.

 

I know several in the 80 to 100,000 b a month range.

 

50,000 a month many many girls easlily make that in Pattaya. Several on BR.

 

It is funny actually the nay sayers on this are jealous males.  Why? Because  these girls are pulling more money then their lousy retirement checks. Tough to handle that I bet. 

You are wrong, this just happen when them are young ( so, limited time for it ... ) the next time when THEM have someone younger near the radar.... you are welcome in the beach road or some massage in Soi Buakhao ....

 

You are welcome

[GalaxyMan]

2 hours ago, marcusarelus said:

If my memory is correct (and it's usually still pretty good) you are buying a 2.8 million house for your girlfriend?  ????

Must be getting old, Marcus. We're each putting up equal money. Nice try, though. ????

[PingRoundTheWorld]

19 hours ago, DepDavid said:

I know girls who have 3 or 4 guys like you sending money.

A few months ago I met a girl at a club, took her home. The next morning went for breakfast where she proceeded to tell me about how some French guy was sending her money every month to keep her out of the clubs, but he stopped sending money last month so she "has no choice" but "work" again. She was also talking about her "regular customers" (who she was seeing even while he was sending her money - just less often). Bottom line is the guy was in France and she was in Thailand - talk on the phone every day and play girlfriend, then find new "earning opportunities" later. She also told me she used to live with a much older guy for 10 years, but had to leave him when he became sick and couldn't support her any longer - classy lady indeed. I ended up giving her just taxi money, and she ended up stalking me for a while.

 

You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl. Any girl that wants money from you is a hooker - not a girlfriend - she is not with you out of love, she is with you because that's her job and that's all she knows. A normal middle class Thai girl would never ask you for money, and would be offended if you offered her some. Normal girls with a university degree make 20-30k or more, so they don't need your "salary". A meal and drinks here and there are always welcome, but cash is not required.

[Fairynuff]

Just buy a different one every time you feel horny, surely it’d work out cheaper 

[seajae]

talked to my wife about this paying a salary for girl friends/wives and she just laughed, said if they want money then they are not in the relationship for the right reasons. She calls any female that wants a monthly allowance to stay with a man a glorified hooker, if they love them no money needs to change hands. She said a friend of a friend has several men paying her a monthly allowance all thinking she is being faithful to them, this is exactly what happens here, any female asking for money is not genuine and more than likely has several men paying them. You are better off just paying a hooker for the night, works out a lot better financially with no commitment needed and you can play the field otherwise look elsewhere for a decent female, they are here if you look outside the bars etc.

[4675636b596f75]

49 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

I know several in the 80 to 100,000 b a month range.

I was told the same by a lady who worked at one of the massage places on soi 22.  How much do you think she saved?  0. It all went back home where it was used for who knows what.  She saved nothing for the rainy day. 

 

Few know how to save.

[scorecard]

On 4/4/2019 at 6:37 PM, FarangOnTour said:

Thank you. Yea, I won't be parting with money anytime soon. Was just asking as I am interested to know what Farangs think about this in general. Although judging by some of the replies I should have checked for similar threads before creating this one.

 

*Hangs head in shame ????

 

Just some points to consider:  be sure your not confusing:

 

1). Minimum salary per month from pretty much the inception of dating or becoming bg / gf (or is that first insertion)? Which is what I'm assuming your alluding to. Not common in Thai / Thai relationships or foreigner / Thai relationships but in both configurations not unheard of.

 

2). Thai 'Sinsod', meaning dowry on the day of marriage, which is totally normal whether it's Thai marrying Thai or Thai marrying a foreigner. 'Normal' meaning that it actually happens , all deliberately on display for all guests to see at 99% of marriages, and:

 

• There are some instances where the amount given (can be cash, can be gold or diamonds etc, can be land and/or house(s), can be vehicles etc.) is returned totally or partly to the groom quietly after the wedding.
• Many foreigners believe Sinsod is a scam just to cheat foreigners. Read my paragraphs above. 
• Don't forget dowry is common in many societies.
• Understand that many Thai people (pretty much all levels of society and educated or not educated) believe strongly that all foreigners are rich / rich beyond belief with no limits on what they can spend etc., so they should share with the girl / with the girl and her family.

 

3). Many Thais still follow an old custom/ belief that when a man takes a wife he's actually setting up his own support system / taking a woman to take care of him and HIS children etc., (rather than formalizing an equal partnership as commonly seen in western societies) and that 'support' system is not free, also meaning the foreigner should pay the girls family regularly for the on-going support she gives.

 

 

 

 

Edited April 7, 2019 by scorecard

[yogi100]

10 minutes ago, Benroon said:

No shoehorning required as it screamed out to anybody who understands the word.

 

To assist you further - racism in the dictionary is defined as anyone who believes their race is superior to another - now go and read the post I replied to again.

I've now read it twice and there is not a single word that be construed as racist in it nor a single tiny assertion nor even the merest hint that one race is superior to another in the whole post. 

 

Even Diane Abbott would be hard pressed to find an iota of racism in it if she studied it for six months with a magnifying glass!

[scorecard]

4 minutes ago, yogi100 said:

I've now read it twice and there is not a single word that be construed as racist in it nor a single tiny assertion nor even the merest hint that one race is superior to another in the whole post. 

 

Even Diane Abbott would be hard pressed to find an iota of racism in it if she studied it for six months with a magnifying glass!

Diane Abbott?

[ThaiBunny]

Just now, scorecard said:

Diane Abbott?

Nobody's girlfriend

[scorecard]

Just now, ThaiBunny said:

Nobody's girlfriend

OIC, that helps to understand...

[473geo]

24 minutes ago, seajae said:

talked to my wife about this paying a salary for girl friends/wives and she just laughed, said if they want money then they are not in the relationship for the right reasons. She calls any female that wants a monthly allowance to stay with a man a glorified hooker, if they love them no money needs to change hands. She said a friend of a friend has several men paying her a monthly allowance all thinking she is being faithful to them, this is exactly what happens here, any female asking for money is not genuine and more than likely has several men paying them. You are better off just paying a hooker for the night, works out a lot better financially with no commitment needed and you can play the field otherwise look elsewhere for a decent female, they are here if you look outside the bars etc.

Just highlights how many Thai women remain blinkered and ignorant of the opportunities, education, and employment prospects for rural Thai women. We are not long out of the era where Thai women worked in the rice paddies!!

I guess not being in a relationship where the husband is happy to contribute accordingly to income makes a few Thai women feel superior. Course could always be said if the guy is not willing to share and contribute perhaps there is no real love on his part and he is only in it for sex....which would make his wife an unpaid sex slave...if he is indeed getting any as she is working to pay the bills!!

[freddyang]

thank you

[Tomahawk21]

On 4/4/2019 at 6:29 PM, baansgr said:

Everyone pays their Mrs a salary here, even those that swear blind they dont as they are Bangkok Chinese. Its the way of Thailand, hence why Im single. 50k is way too steep

wrong i have lived with a couple of Thai women in the past, lived alone for the last 10 years. the 2 women i lived with i never paid them a cent, did i pay for nights out , holidays, beauty treatments etc sure just like i did in the UK.

 

i think it depends on the sort of Thai women you meet there education, background, the way they have been raised and their family commitments.

 

decent Thai women are no different to women in the west they want a man that they can have a secure life with and not have to live on the bread line.

[ExpatDraco]

This has to be the longest troll post I have ever read. [emoji28]

[Dazinoz]

48 minutes ago, Benroon said:

To make any sense of that you need to provide a picture of her so we can advise professionally.

 

ie where on the Worldie (10) to Munter (0) scale do you think she sits ?

Yes, well that would not be too clever to put a photo of her online would it?

 

She is young, cute face and a little extra weight. Probably a 6.

 

BTW how did an italian hitch get a 0?????

[473geo]

2 minutes ago, Tomahawk21 said:

i have lived with a couple of Thai women in the past, lived alone for the last 10 years

 

5 minutes ago, Tomahawk21 said:

i never paid them a cent

 

Kind of says it all.........carry on guys ????

[Dazinoz]

2 minutes ago, ExpatDraco said:

This has to be the longest troll post I have ever read.

Maybe so but not all the replies are troll posts.

 

[Tomahawk21]

2 minutes ago, 473geo said:

 

 

Kind of says it all.........carry on guys ????

cos i choose to play the field im not a man that need to be wrapped around a women 24/7. now that kind of says it all............guys ???? 

[balo]

Seriously I doubt Thai men are paying a salary to keep their wives happy. Yes pay for food and rent and share expenses when possible. 

 

Thats how I look at a normal relationship , Thai/Thai or Farang/Thai. But of course if the age difference is 30 years ++ and this is not a "normal" marriage I can understand it.