This ones for the married guys, are you still happily married ?

[4MyEgo]

12 hours ago, GreasyFingers said:

Half way through and very bumpy. She was a farm girl and has trouble when a (superior) Thai (builder) tells her something even though I know it is BS or a try on.

I feel for you, although you could try it the way I did it.

 

It took 3 builders to finish our place, I didn't like the workmanship of the 1st builder (rice farmer), so I said to the wife, pay him for his time up to now and tell him my husband said he is not happy with your work, but thanks you for your effort, no need to come back, I was in Phuket with my mates at the time, the pictures of the bowed timbers he was installing on the roof were enough, add to that that he said to my wife that they would straighten out.

 

The second guy was let go when he failed to show up one day, his wife came on site instead and said to my wife that we are paying her husband too little for the build (agreed price) between the builder (rice farmer) and us, I said to my wife, how long has he been working here, she said 9 days, I said give her 9,000 baht and tell her, my husband thinks he is paying your husband too much and said to take this and tell your husband that my husband said thank you for your time, and maybe they will pay him more in Bangkok (usually 300 baht per day) a 12 hour bus trip and months away from home, she said, no, no, I just wanted to see if we could get more because your husband is a rich farang, come on sister, straight out like that, with my wife almost shoving the money down her throat and almost threw her out on the street.

 

The last guy, we still use for extensions and the like, very happy with his workmanship, albeit he is slow turns up at 8-8.30, finishes 4-4.30 and has two hour lunch breaks, and when we would have a disagreement, I would say to my wife, don't forget who is paying for this, with her reply being tiruk, you know I love you, but you too much sometimes, now shut your mouth or I get the builder to dig your room over there, 6ft under ????

 

Perhaps you could use my wife's saying next time you have a disagreement, and to be honest, although I have years in an industry that incorporates building, she knew what she was doing and so did he, although I would have to step in and question things at times and request an extra beam for support (over the top), but just in case, but it all worked out at the end of the day, and one day she asked me why I broke her balls all the time when the build was finally completed, with my reply being, well I had to, I am paying for it and had to look important, you know big boss farang ????

 

Edited January 22, 2020 by 4MyEgo

[justin case]

the whole ... threat me like a princess all the time, just because she was born with a vagina

 

no thank you

[Skallywag]

10 hours ago, Isaanbiker said:

 

And I'm in no way somebody who looks down at prostitutes.

 

I use them, treat them well and pay them, but I'd never marry one.

Agree.  Of course the paid "sexual therapists"  are also using us for some baht.  ????

At 61 I really don't see the attraction or reason for a legal marriage.  Hope someone changes my mind one day though.  After being married for almost 20 years, "sharing" everything day in and day out with one woman is not something my soul and spirit needs right now.

Am still legally married though separated for a couple years.  Raised a son together and for some reason he turned out better than both of us (so far).   Always positives in any relationship.

 

[DJ54]

Wasn’t so lucky I (Me) error on fool side but I did it... 4 years the

fly keeps hanging around but... shoo fly don’t bother me

[BobbyL]

We're both just into our 30s and got married a few years in England. Everything is great, she went to university in England and we spent time living there before we decided to settle in here in 2017. She has a good job, as do I, so we live a very easy live in Bangkok with our salaries. Own a nice house, car, regular holidays around the world etc. 

 

No kids right now as we're both enjoying life and work, therefore the sex life is still fantastic (three times this weekend just gone ????). However, when kids do happen I guess that will be the first big challenge for us as a couple as we have both had a pretty easy ride so far.

[GinBoy2]

19 minutes ago, BobbyL said:

We're both just into our 30s and got married a few years in England. Everything is great, she went to university in England and we spent time living there before we decided to settle in here in 2017. She has a good job, as do I, so we live a very easy live in Bangkok with our salaries. Own a nice house, car, regular holidays around the world etc. 

 

No kids right now as we're both enjoying life and work, therefore the sex life is still fantastic (three times this weekend just gone ????). However, when kids do happen I guess that will be the first big challenge for us as a couple as we have both had a pretty easy ride so far.

Don't worry there is a sex life after kids, which at least in my case becomes more intimate, if challenging with kids running around.

 

Life evolves and changes, kids and sex are if you think about it part of the same.

 

Enjoy what you have now, but 'fantastic' actually gets better when the kids arrive

[Pravda]

[Tropposurfer]

23 hours ago, Davo369 said:

I was happily married for six months, then the next six months was a complete nightmare. I had to pursue the last six months because i had a £100 bet that i would last a whole year. But that was many years ago in the uk. Now I've meet a wonderful woman in Thailand we get married next month. The only thing what annoys me is when she's giving me a blxw job she makes a he'll of a lot of noise ????

Yes I see the terrible dilemma you find yourself in lol ???? 

[GreasyFingers]

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

It took 3 builders to finish our place

The builder is not so much a problem, yet, although he has tried a few things and has just said the shower screens are going to cost him 50% more than his estimate. The wife would have said yes, but I said no, just take the money off the quote and I will arrange something else.

 

The problem is the wife who cannot stand up to a Thai she feels is her superior (Thai caste system) as she is basically uneducated school wise. I told her two rules before we started:

1. every time you open your mouth for something you want, baht comes out in the thousands.

2. do not agree to any changes without consulting me first and never take sides with the builder.

 

She has had trouble with #2, that is why I also told her about the divorce/souring the relationship that can happen when building.

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, GreasyFingers said:

The problem is the wife who cannot stand up to a Thai she feels is her superior (Thai caste system) as she is basically uneducated school wise. I told her two rules before we started:

1. every time you open your mouth for something you want, baht comes out in the thousands.

2. do not agree to any changes without consulting me first and never take sides with the builder.

 

She has had trouble with #2, that is why I also told her about the divorce/souring the relationship that can happen when building.

Feel free to borrow mine, she will sort anyone, it helps when they live abroad for a long period of time, they wake up, they see that they have been conned, and serve it to anyone that tries the superiority BS with her.

[khunpa]

10 years together and absolutely the best years of my life.

 

 

 

[Elkski]

Open  relationship? Is that what the OP said?   I think this helps make a marriage better. 

[thaibeachlovers]

I'm no longer married so not strictly supposed to post on this.

I'd just like to say that when marrying a Thai woman not only are we taking on a woman with all the potential problems of that, PLUS having to deal with the cultural difference. It behooves one to do more due diligence than just finding one that actually enjoys sex.

In my case I married her on the basis of a year living together far far away from the family- all was perfect; the woman of my dreams. Where it all went wrong was marrying a woman that considered her family more important than her husband- not something that normally happens in a western to western marriage.

Once married, she insisted on moving to the village and that was the beginning of the end though it took 4 years before putting the marriage out of it's misery.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, BobbyL said:

We're both just into our 30s and got married a few years in England. Everything is great, she went to university in England and we spent time living there before we decided to settle in here in 2017. She has a good job, as do I, so we live a very easy live in Bangkok with our salaries. Own a nice house, car, regular holidays around the world etc. 

 

No kids right now as we're both enjoying life and work, therefore the sex life is still fantastic (three times this weekend just gone ????). However, when kids do happen I guess that will be the first big challenge for us as a couple as we have both had a pretty easy ride so far.

You do know that you don't have to have kids, don't you?

I have no kids and never regretted it. Wasn't a factor in our divorce as she knew before we married I wasn't going to have any due to prostate operation.

[GinBoy2]

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You do know that you don't have to have kids, don't you?

I have no kids and never regretted it. Wasn't a factor in our divorce as she knew before we married I wasn't going to have any due to prostate operation.

Thats an interesting point.

 

I think for men and women the kid thing can play out differently. 

 

I love my kids, all of them despite all the horrors of teenagers, to death.

But I can't imagine my life without them, especially as I age.

 

That being said, had I never had kids, never having known the joy they bring, I most probably would have survived.

 

For women, at least with my two wives, there is an instinctual biological need for babies

[Roadman]

On 1/21/2020 at 5:48 PM, Saltire said:

Only regret is not discovering Thai ladies when I was younger. I wouldn't have wasted 20 years with a western alcoholic, chain-smoking, neurotic, non-bar girl in the dreary UK.

 

Made it official last year after living for 3 years here in her village. The registrar in the amphur offered me 5 minutes to change my mind before signing, asking 'are you sure?' I was and am still 100% sure. Yes we both miss the bars sometimes but that's what holidays are for, right?

 

I had almost given up on finding a caring, honest, loyal, funny, thrifty (yes thrifty) partner. Thank you Thailand.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s my biggest regret as well not specifically a Thai but Asian woman. Especially an intelligent sweet slim petite Asian woman who values her figure and looks. Like the ones I have in my life now. Growing up in the 60s in a European environment they were non existent. It was not until late in my forties that I figured out that for me at least they are the most attractive women. Wish I had been able to figure that out in my late teens and I have been in Asia away back then.

[GreasyFingers]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Where it all went wrong was marrying a woman that considered her family more important than her husband- not something that normally happens in a western to western marriage.

My number 2 back home had four kids, all teenagers/early twenties. The only reason I was #5 on her pecking order was we never had a dog.

[BobbyL]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You do know that you don't have to have kids, don't you?

I have no kids and never regretted it. Wasn't a factor in our divorce as she knew before we married I wasn't going to have any due to prostate operation.

Absolutely. We both want them at some point. 

[chickenslegs]

If I was ever in any doubt about her love for me ...

[AlexRich]

1 hour ago, chickenslegs said:

If I was ever in any doubt about her love for me ...

She’s doubled up on your life insurance and filled the room with gas ... be careful out there!

[GinBoy2]

6 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

If I was ever in any doubt about her love for me ...

You are indeed a lucky man.

 

I work an early morning shift at the local airport and get home around lunchtime when my wife is still at work.

 

Best I can hope for is a fb message on the lines of..

 

"There might be some leftovers in the fridge, if not you're on your own"

 

Ain't love Grand lol

[BritManToo]

18 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You do know that you don't have to have kids, don't you?

I have no kids and never regretted it. Wasn't a factor in our divorce as she knew before we married I wasn't going to have any due to prostate operation.

I've had six, and still wish for more.

[Olmate]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've had six, and still wish for more.

That’s a big prostrate you have!

[Assurancetourix]

On 1/21/2020 at 5:37 PM, CH1961 said:

Yes, more than 30 years ... but not with the same ????

I love this answer! 
Same for me but rather almost 50 years and like this happy guy: not with the same woman ..

 

I will dare to tell you,
I got married in November 2007 in Bangkok with my Thai wife who is from Sakon Nakhon province;
we met in her village in the house of one of her aunts .

 

Before,  too many marriages in France and fortunately only two children;
two boys ,
 the first one is 46 y old, he has been married for 25 years to the same woman; they have two sons ..
That's all I know, the bridges were broken a very long time ago and have never been rebuilt.

Regrets? No ; It's life, it's like that;

 

The second is 32 years old, there is a symbiosis between us;
he is deputy director of a musical conservatory in a town near Paris, before he was a piano teacher. He is married to Charlotte who is like him music teacher - cello; They have a little daughter: Anouk.

And my Thai wife is the mother of three children, two girls and a boy who consider me their dad;
they are 32, 30 and 22 years old
The last one made the necessary at the town hall of Sawang Daen Din to bear my European name;
she lives with us after having done two years of faculty in Sakon Nakhon;
she has an autoimmune disease which obliges her to regularly pass heavy and restrictive exams at the Sirikit public hospital in Khon Kaen;
drugs are not always free; but we do with ..

 

No cloud for 13 years and no reason to see one on the horizon.

[Damrongsak]

On 1/21/2020 at 4:32 AM, SkyFax said:

Not married but, any time the conversation has gotten around to taking her (not seriously -- no English) back to USA, I just say:

You're too hot -- they'd never let you in.

My wife didn't speak English when I met her.  Yeah, she had had some English classes in Thai lower/middle school.  All our interaction was in my limited Thai.  We went to the USA and she learned English, became a citizen and even took some community college classes. After 41 years of marriage, she still hands me lists of English words or phrases and wants to know the exact meaning.  It's hard to explain to her in Thai that I really have no clue either, it's just what we say.

[Damrongsak]

4 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

You are indeed a lucky man.

 

I work an early morning shift at the local airport and get home around lunchtime when my wife is still at work.

 

Best I can hope for is a fb message on the lines of..

 

"There might be some leftovers in the fridge, if not you're on your own"

 

Ain't love Grand lol

The gas is already on.  All you have to is light it ...  BOOM!  Sounds like my wife.  ????

[thaibeachlovers]

18 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Thats an interesting point.

 

I think for men and women the kid thing can play out differently. 

 

I love my kids, all of them despite all the horrors of teenagers, to death.

But I can't imagine my life without them, especially as I age.

 

That being said, had I never had kids, never having known the joy they bring, I most probably would have survived.

 

For women, at least with my two wives, there is an instinctual biological need for babies

Not only a biological/ genetic program to reproduce, but it becomes a way of binding the man to the woman even if he no longer wants to be with her.

IMO a reason for old farangs with young children in LOS- the wife made sure she got pregnant, and in some cases it's someone else's baby, used to trap the ATM, who doesn't suspect.

[Assurancetourix]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

and in some cases it's someone else's baby, used to trap the ATM, who doesn't suspect.

DNA testing is not expensive.
If the husband has a doubt he goes through it;
and as divorce is very easy in Thailand, the big loser is the woman with the kid who is not from the  farang.

and even if he built a beautiful house, there is no human death;

 

Once bitten twice shy

[GinBoy2]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Not only a biological/ genetic program to reproduce, but it becomes a way of binding the man to the woman even if he no longer wants to be with her.

IMO a reason for old farangs with young children in LOS- the wife made sure she got pregnant, and in some cases it's someone else's baby, used to trap the ATM, who doesn't suspect.

Thailand is littered with women with children from multiple absent Fathers, who seemed to have some deluded idea that, 'I have his baby he love me more more more'

 

The difference in my experience is that, Thai men will drop wives/gf plus their children faster than a pair of dirty underwear without a second thought and move on to the next.

Most farangs do have some sense of responsibility to their offspring.

 

Ever heard of contentious child custody cases in Thailand? Nah, me neither

Edited January 23, 2020 by GinBoy2

[EVENKEEL]

9 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Not only a biological/ genetic program to reproduce, but it becomes a way of binding the man to the woman even if he no longer wants to be with her.

IMO a reason for old farangs with young children in LOS- the wife made sure she got pregnant, and in some cases it's someone else's baby, used to trap the ATM, who doesn't suspect.

Some of us old guys were willing participants. That's also common in the US.