Hi All,

 

I have been in a relationship with this thai girl for over 2 years now. What I have noticed is that she has infinite love for her mother. As per me, her parents have not been  good parents.

 

In my understanding, parents are supposed to send their kids to school and ensure their good upbringing and impart good values. My girlfriend does have good values as she never stole my money (apart from occassional 50-100 baht) for her food while i was deep asleep). Her father was a drunkard and mom used to work in fields. At some point they divorced and her father became a monk and her mom produced another baby with a new "thai boyfriend". My girl had to drop out of school due to the divorce of her parents and start working in her teens. She did menial jobs to survive and feed her siblings. 

 

I won't lie about it and I have no shame in admitting that I met her in a bar. But since then I have changed her life to some extent. I have sent her to study, bought some gold for her as a security and paid all her mom's debts so she doesn't have to "work" again. 

 

My understanding about any human relationship is give and take. Relationship cannot be one sided. I give her some money every month for food and other expenses so she doesn't have to "work". In return she loves me and doesn't cheat me and stays with me whenever i visit her.

 

What I don't like here is that whatever money I give her, most of it is spent on her mom and her siblings upbringing and education. Her mom doesn't earn much.

 

 

This is just the story of my  girl but the numerous others I met before similar stories of debt ridden parents due to which they move to pattaya/phuket to "work". Doesn't it look like that these "working" girls have abusive parents? Why do these girls love their parents who never did anything good for them ? 

 

 

 

Oh dear! There are so much you´ve missed, so I will not even start to touch the subject. Good Luck!

Welcome to Thailand!

 

You made the mistake of giving them money. Now they are used to getting money from you and they will ask for more.

And her mother will always be a higher priority than you are.

When her mother demands money then it's her job to bring money - any way she can get it. Asking you nicely, steeling it from you, getting paid for services, it does not matter. She will get the money for her mother.

 

You have two options:

a) continue like this until you are broke

b) get rid of her

c) the option that you will change her for the better does not exist. There is no c)

 

Next time try to find a girl without living mother. And don't start to give her more money than necessary. Don't even try to save anybody. It won't work. It will only cost you more money and headache.

 

Sorry, somebody had to tell you.

58 minutes ago, lovethai123 said:

Why do these girls love their parents who never did anything good for them ? 

Because w/o their parents, they wouldn't have been born... 

 

1 hour ago, lovethai123 said:

whatever money I give her, most of it is spent on her mom and her siblings upbringing and education.

My wife distributes money to the family as needed.. kids get education, elderly parents are comfortable and secure, the family functions as a unit... this to me is a good thing. 

28 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Welcome to Thailand!

 

Sorry, somebody had to tell you.

So, I edited it all for you. Much easier that way, and says almost same much.

On the other hand, I must commend you for being as subtile as possible. It read as it was written by a poet.

21 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

My wife distributes money to the family as needed.. kids get education, elderly parents are comfortable and secure, the family functions as a unit... this to me is a good thing.

Some people would say that is crazy. Count me in! 

So all that novels and movies where in there used to be a damsel in distress and a hero would save her were all total bs. 

 

I was warned about all this almost a year ago by many foreigners but I didn't listen. Now I am so bored about giving her money which eventually goes to raise kids of other men.

 

How do I tell her I want to finish the relationship with her? Please suggest.

 

I no longer want to feed kids whose father is missing.

Yes,they love their parents so much,so they send their babies to them to take care off...In my village,it is the poor parents who have to send money to their grown children in BKK,(mostly).

A very different meaning of “love”...here in LOS. IMO

My wife loved her mother so much she destroyed our marriage because of it. She also loved her sister, her nephews and her BIL much, much more than me, her husband. she loved every relative no matter how distant more than me. If they had had a dog she'd have loved that more than me too. I think she even loved our hamsters more than me. Had I known about the love she had for her family over me I'd never have married her, but she played the long con so successfully that I never knew till too late.

 

The OP's GF will always love her parents more than him- that is a given. As for money, that is something the farang is expected to give to the family without expectations of anything in return.

If It's anything to be grateful for out of the disaster of my marriage it is that her mother never got more than a 6,000 baht fridge out of me.

9 minutes ago, lovethai123 said:

So all that novels and movies where in there used to be a damsel in distress and a hero would save her were all total bs. 

 

I was warned about all this almost a year ago by many foreigners but I didn't listen. Now I am so bored about giving her money which eventually goes to raise kids of other men.

 

How do I tell her I want to finish the relationship with her? Please suggest.

 

I no longer want to feed kids whose father is missing.

You don't tell her anything, but move to Far Far Away, change your mobile phone number and your e mail, close anything she can use to track you down and hide all sharp knives just in case.

 

 

Shes the product of decades of brainwashing and religious  claptrap where children must be grateful for being  born.............some of  course chop their parents up and stick em in the fridge.

Reminds me had the Jehovah witnessessssss  round tuther  day ,and i  live out in the boonies but  lacking anyone  to  talk too invited them in,nice  couple cracking wazzers on the woman.............anyway I asked em how  long theyd  been JW's and they said  all their  life........I said not  all, you werent  born jw's..were  your parents, they said yes, I said so if  you  had been born in India youd  most  likely  be batting for Hindus or Sikhs..............yeah they shut  up  about religion then and instead we wandered round the land looking at me  trees  that God didnt create.

I invited em back, Norwegian they were

43 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Because w/o their parents, they wouldn't have been born... 

 

My wife distributes money to the family as needed.. kids get education, elderly parents are comfortable and secure, the family functions as a unit... this to me is a good thing. 

Had you married a woman in your own country would you have been expected to provide an education for relatives and keep her parents "comfortable"?

What would they have done had you not married into the family?

16 minutes ago, lovethai123 said:

How do I tell her I want to finish the relationship with her? Please suggest.

long or  short version?

Long, "darling...........ferk  off"

Short ,"Ferk  off"

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You don't tell her anything, but move to Far Far Away, change your mobile phone number and your e mail, close anything she can use to track you down and hide all sharp knives just in case.

 

 

I don't live in Thailand. Though I visit her frequently because I am just a few hour flight away from bkk.

1 hour ago, lovethai123 said:

This is just the story of my  girl but the numerous others I met before similar stories of debt ridden parents due to which they move to pattaya/phuket to "work". Doesn't it look like that these "working" girls have abusive parents? Why do these girls love their parents who never did anything good for them ? 

It's often just a story the tell the gullible foreigner to extract more money from him.

I ain't giving a girl any more money if she says it's for her mom.

Just now, lovethai123 said:

I don't live in Thailand. Though I visit her frequently because I am just a few hour flight away from bkk.

perfect in which case do nothing...........nah go out and get blind  drunk............better stay  home and get blind  drunk...............nah just get blind  drunk

59 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

c) the option that you will change her for the better does not exist. There is no c)

It's ironic that in western countries women marry ratbags because they think they can "change" them. In LOS it's western men that think they can "change" their Thai beloved.

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Had you married a woman in your own country would you have been expected to provide an education for relatives and keep her parents "comfortable"?

What would they have done had you not married into the family?

In my culture my father in law would touch my feet on the day of marriage. And whenever I visit my father in law's home, my wife and I would be given some gifts. 

 

Her mom never gave me anything even though I freed her of all the debts. She just gave me some water melon to eat it so. 

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

It's often just a story the tell the gullible foreigner to extract more money from him.

I ain't giving a girl any more money if she says it's for her mom.

My Mum says please

1 minute ago, lovethai123 said:

In my culture my father in law would touch my feet on the day of marriage

was he a midget?

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

It's often just a story the tell the gullible foreigner to extract more money from him.

I ain't giving a girl any more money if she says it's for her mom.

Thanks for being a strong man. But I am kind hearted and I can easily be manipulated by women.

22 minutes ago, lovethai123 said:

How do I tell her I want to finish the relationship with her? Please suggest.

I've always found telling them by SMS/Line after I've already moved somewhere far away to be safest.

EDIT:TBL beat me to it!

Just now, lovethai123 said:

In my culture my father in law would touch my feet on the day of marriage. And whenever I visit my father in law's home, my wife and I would be given some gifts. 

 

Her mom never gave me anything even though I freed her of all the debts. She just gave me some water melon to eat it so. 

You were lucky to get watermelon. All I got from my MIL was a sour look.

Just now, lovethai123 said:

Thanks for being a strong man. But I am kind hearted and I can easily be manipulated by women.

actually Im a  woman and i really do need a new  cart for my  bufflo, 2 milion should  cover it tia

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

You were lucky to get watermelon. All I got from my MIL was a sour look.

YOU  SHOULDNT BE LICKING YOUR  MOTHER IN LAW

1 minute ago, Chazar said:

actually Im a  woman and i really do need a new  cart for my  bufflo, 2 milion should  cover it tia

Me too, I only need 1M and here's a photo of my Buffalo .........

Just now, BritManToo said:

Me too, I only need 1M and here's a photo of my Buffalo .........

look  horny, anyway we're  more  hi so we  have a  cart...................4x4????

1 minute ago, lovethai123 said:

Thanks for being a strong man. But I am kind hearted and I can easily be manipulated by women.

Most men have been manipulated by women since the first man when the first woman "suggested" that he give her the best bits of the sabre toothed tiger he just killed, in return for a warm fuzzy feeling. I know who got the best of that deal.

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've always found telling them by SMS/Line after I've already moved somewhere far away to be safest.

EDIT:TBL beat me to it!

Ok, thanks. Let me try. 

 

I am already fed up of my money going to raise kids who aren't mine.